Broken Glass
by Silver-crowned Valkyrie
Summary: After more than 50 years in exile, Tauriel shows her face in Mirkwood. Long-suppressed feelings lurk between her and the Elvenking, but will they manage to overcome their grievances of the past or will they be led into ruin? Their choices will shape their fate. (slight AU, ThranduilxTauriel) - COMPLETE - Continues in sequel "Warring Hearts"
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The reddish autumn leaves reflected the golden rays of the afternoon sun. The Elvenking, leaning lightly on the balustrade of his private balcony, let his gaze wander leisurely over the treetops in the distance. His forest was slowly preparing for its wintery slumber, having already exchanged its summer greens for the autumnal reds, yellows and oranges. But these royal colors would only be donned for a brief time, as the chill fingers of winter would soon descend upon the forest and remove its leafy veils, leaving it naked in their touch.

Thranduil felt in a sense just like his forest. His soul and spirit, his _fea_ , was touched by the deathly chill of winter long ago, but, unlike the turning of seasons, it was eternally marked by the frost, never to truly feel the warmth of spring again. Had he forgotten how it felt to walk under the sunshine and have his skin touched by the welcoming warmth? No, he had not. For elven memory never faded. He could remember all too well the time of his youth, when the world, or rather his world, was still unmarred by the black hand of evil and the death that followed its grasp. He could still see himself, a mere elfling of few decades of age, running merrily in his uncle Thingol's gardens in Doriath, chasing after his friend and later wife Lothrin. He cherished those memories and kept those precious feelings of times gone fondly in his immortal heart. Had it not been for them, the Elvenking was sure he would have long faded.

Oh, how he longed to be able to feel like that again, to unburden his weary self of the pain of thousands of years even for a few brief moments! But it was not to be. For there was in Thranduil's heart a still deeper shadow. He had seen the horror of Mordor and could not forget it. If ever he looked south, its memory dimmed the light of the sun, and though he knew that it was now broken and deserted and under the vigilance of the Kings of men, fear spoke in his heart that it was not conquered forever: it would arise again. The Shadow, which had claimed the lives of his father and wife and countless of his kin, would rise and extend its ravenous claws upon Middle Earth, and upon him, once again. Whose life would it seek to claim this time? He minded not for his own, for he had lived long on this earth, but for the life of his son he feared greatly.

Legolas. His existence had always been like a gentle breeze in Thranduil's life, like the one that was now ever so lightly tousling his hair. He bent his head forward a bit and closed his eyes, inhaling quietly the sweet fragrance of autumn the breeze carried and allowing the creases of worry on his forehead soften a little. His son had always been in his heart and thought, although the young ellon might not know it. For King and Prince had grown quite apart during the last few eons. It was not due to lack of true sentiment, but due to lack of letting this sentiment surface. Thranduil would only seldom show affection to his son, becoming more and more secluded and isolated with the passing of time, a prisoner of his own mind. Legolas perceived this stance mostly as lack of care and interest of his father towards him, or disappointment perhaps? And he in turn turned away from his sire, having no choice but to harden his own heart towards the father who reserved nothing but coldness and formality for him.

And Legolas was gone now. He had been gone for decades, and while a few decades was nothing to the life of an elf, Thranduil secretly harbored a bitter fear in the depths of his heart that his son would never return, that he was not to see him ever again. He could not rationalize this pain he felt deep inside, whenever his thoughts turned to Legolas, but still there it was, and it was akin to the pain of departure, of separation. And so Thranduil feared that Legolas would never again step into the forest of his childhood, for so very disappointed he was with his father that he might never wish to face him again.

It was on Ravenhill, a little over fifty years ago, when Thranduil last saw his son. Struggling out of his mental constraints, there were a few nearly choked words blurted out by him, a quick last glance from the Prince, a hasty extend of good will and goodbye to each other, and then Legolas turned on his heel and marched away from the ruins without a second glance backwards. The Elvenking vividly remembered the taste of bitter bile on his tongue at that moment, a taste he was forced to swallow hard as his vision was turning bleary with tears threatening to spill. On that very moment enormous waves of regret washed over him, regret for the last eons of his life, which had led to this very cold and bitter outcome.

Thranduil sighed and paced away from the balustrade, turning his gaze to the west, where the sun was setting behind the treetops, never faltering in its course. The West. Valinor waited there to receive the elves who still lingered on Middle Earth, when their time to sail would come. There was a time, very long ago, when Thranduil himself pondered on how these western Undying Lands might be. But no more. Since Lothrin's tragic death, he gradually abandoned every thought of sailing. For it was in the Undying Lands that the elves were reunited with their beloved ones, deceased or departed, forever on to live in unity. But Thranduil knew there was no mate awaiting his arrival on those golden shores, for Lothrin's fea was cruelly destroyed by dragonfire, rendering it unable to be housed in a corporeal form. The King's own fea was brutally mutilated, tainted by the same fire that claimed his wife's life. It was not only his body that was scarred, but his spirit as well. For a time he wondered if he would even be fit to step on the Undying Lands, for his fea was robbed of his immaculacy and purity of the firstborn, and it was tainted with malicious attributes. Greed, power-mongering, cruelty, indifference and lust were to be counted among them, qualities that were not meant for the Eldar, but for Men.

And so, Thranduil, consumed by his ever-darkening self, soon abandoned all thought of sailing into the West some day, and with that he abandoned all hope of feeling whole and happy again. Happy? It sounded as a cruel joke to his ears. He could not even define this word anymore. He had at last come to terms with the misery of his life, he had accepted it as the only possible reality, and did not seek to change anything anymore. Once, when he felt that fading was at hand, he anchored himself on his only son and clang to life. But now, what would keep him from fading? And, in the depths of his weary heart, Thranduil did not truly care anymore.

As twilight fell over Mirkwood, the Elvenking retreated from his balcony into his chambers. He glanced over to the small table in the corner, upon which a jug of wine waited for his familiar touch. It was with utter shame that he admitted wine had become his one and only friend. He stepped close and filled himself a glass. Its crimson content swirled as the King held the glass in his fingers, the gentle motion making the wine give out its fragrant aromas that made Dorwinion the best of its kind. He took a sip, relishing the exquisite taste, and then another, and another. Before long the glass was being refilled, as Thranduil fruitlessly attempted to drink away his thoughts, sip by sip.

Jug and glass accompanied him in his bed when he chose to at last lie down. Supple mattress, fluffy pillows and silken covers did little to provide him with comfort, though. His mind would not rest. This time his thoughts turned to Tauriel. He wondered where she might be, what she might be doing. And he wondered that every single night of the many in her fifty years of self-imposed exile. The King had forgiven her, but she chose to leave. With bitter irony he thought that it was her turning away this time, and not him. Thranduil could clearly remember the scorn and disdain in her eyes when he lifted her banishment, absolved her of her crime of threatening his life, and welcomed her back to his forest and her station. But the insolent Captain, with a tight smile had simply turned down his "most gracious offer", as she had aptly worded it, and then exited the throne room after mocking him with a low bow and a leer of disrespect. He did remember himself frozen as a pillar at that moment, unable to react or utter anything. He never expected that, he never saw that coming. He had been fairly certain that Tauriel would be most grateful for being offered back open-handedly everything she decided to gamble on with her rash actions. He had expected her to bow down in shame and regret, and mentally kiss his boot in gratitude for his magnanimity. But no. She chose to spit back in his face all his good will and grace and turn away from him, her people, the place she had called home for more than six hundred years, and chase her fortune in who-knows-where. Tauriel never showed her face in Mirkwood ever since.

It was with pain and regret that Thranduil reminisced upon those very unfortunate events. If he were to be sincere with himself, he did feel hurt. Hurt? He inwardly smiled bitterly at the word. As cold, aloof and isolated that he had become, he never believed he would be able to feel such things again. He feared the façade of indifference we chose to wear in every social interaction had slowly woven its path into his very soul, turning him into a statue of ice. And perhaps he preferred it that way. A King could never afford to show weakness or any kind of emotion openly, Thranduil thought. He felt well protected behind his cold unfeeling mask. He felt safe and intangible there. Nothing could reach him.

And yet something did. Tauriel's audacious words and impudent smirk had cracked his thick layers of ice, allowing a hint of hurt to creep in and touch him. The elleth he had saved from certain death all those many years ago and raised close to his own son had in the end turned against him, pointed an arrow to his head and then abandoned him without a second thought. And for what? For a dwarf! And a dead dwarf at that. Thranduil's heart rebelled in protest. How could she ever choose a dwarf over her own people? Was she so feeble-minded? So weak of heart? He did not want to believe these accusations his mind produced as true. He had known the young elleth since her childhood. There were no traces of a treacherous character to be found in her. But… she had loved. Could not love be the greatest treachery of all?

Still, but for his feelings of desertion and desolation, there was a small voice inside Thranduil's head that meekly suggested Tauriel might be right in her way. Perhaps it was her that should harbor feelings of desertion and betrayal, when her King unabashedly proclaimed his indifference considering the fate of the dwarves, and refused to lend even the slightest portion of aid. The young Captain had seen a cold and cruel King, and it was not the King she remembered. Perhaps, Thranduil now thought, Tauriel felt equally hurt as him, if not more.

But he had tried to make it up to her in the end, when he found her crying over the corpse of the dwarf on Ravenhill, seconds only after he had bid farewell to his son. And his attempt was not a pretense. He stepped out of the shadows and took in the sight of her grief, realizing at last his cruel demeanor towards her for thoughtlessly dismissing her love as not real. And she had raised her face and looked into his watery eyes that in that very moment were the clearest mirror of his tormented soul. When she asked him why it hurt so much, clearly not awaiting an answer from his part, he did offer her probably the most sincere words he had uttered in a long time: because it was real. There it was, the King's apology out in the air. His voice calling her love real, attempting to convey the real message of the voice in his heart, which simply said "forgive me, Tauriel". Her expression had changed then, betraying her startle. Thranduil had seen recognition there, he saw the lines on her face soften, her lips parting slightly and her brow giving the slightest twitch, and he felt that she understood the pain he carried inside for all these years. He felt that they understood each other in the face of heartbreak.

And he had hoped this was a sign of reconciliation. He had admitted the error of his ways, albeit indirectly, but Tauriel had understood. Of that he was certain. And he had hoped that she would at least offer him an apology for her disobedience. He had forgiven her for pointing an arrow to his face, because he never truly believed Tauriel meant him any harm; he read it as an act forced by despair over the very real prospect of loss of her love. She had expected him to be there for her, as he had ever been, and he had disappointed her. But had she not understood his motive? Had she not seen the dead of their kin that lay on the streets of Dale? How could she place the lives of a few dwarves, nay, _one certain_ dwarf, over the lives of elves? That he could not come to terms with, but he did choose to leave it aside, for the sake of reconciliation. He would not hold it against her, had she only shown regret and remorse for her actions. But Tauriel showed neither. Instead, she stated that she regretted nothing, and, if she was given a second chance, she would have done the same. There went his hopes of reconciliation, marching out of the door together with the rebellious Captain.

Instead of what he was looking for in her eyes then, he received cold hatred and disdain. The realization that Tauriel must have felt the same right before drawing her bow and arrow against him stung him bitterly. His cold eyes bearing hard at her, his mouth uttering words of cruelty and indifference. Oh, how they had failed each other so much!

Thranduil sighed and turned in the bed, pushing the now empty jug and glass aside. He stared at those two objects for a time. In a way, he saw his own self reflected on them. Ornate and beautiful on the outside, and yet cold and hard. And there was only emptiness to be found inside, a vast void that yearned to be filled with precious content. A sudden wave of anger surged through him and he tossed jug and glass on the marble floor. They crashed on the hard surface and shattered in countless pieces.

Perhaps that was what he also needed. A strike forceful enough and he would break.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

And then one day she appeared. Brought before him she was, though not bound or shackled. Tauriel had never been unwelcome in Mirkwood. She had chosen exile over the continuation of her life in the forest, but Thranduil had never forbidden her to return. In fact, he had secretly wished and hoped for it, although, as the years passed, that hope slowly waned.

She had refused to speak to any other when asked about the reason of her return, insisting that she would speak to the King only. At her words, the King had dismissed the guards from the throne room and was soon left alone with Tauriel.

He took some time to look at her first. Her garb bore nothing distinctive, the colors were earthen greens and browns. He could see no weapons on her; the guards would not tolerate something like that, of course. Her past was not forgotten, and she would by no means be allowed to appear armed before the King. Her hair was done in two tight braids that met in the nape of her neck, but was otherwise unadorned. Then the Elvenking concentrated on her eyes. They bore the familiar flame, but he traced no hardness or hatred in them. The former captain regarded him with a patient and wise look that sang in dissonance with her old look, the one Thranduil remembered. She made no move to speak but quietly waited to be asked to do so, she waited for the King to speak first.

And while Thranduil was clearly not hasty in shaping a fresh image of her in his mind, Tauriel of course was doing the very same thing. It had been fifty years or more since they last saw each other, and she frankly did not know what to expect of him when she decided to come here. The slightest hint of surprise was evident in his eyes; his expression was otherwise indecipherable. She smiled inwardly. This was no news. He looked exactly as she remembered him, imposing and regal, cold and distant, perched upon his high throne and dressed in the finest silvers and crimsons the realm could provide. The familiar crown of autumn leaves and berries sat upon his silver head, and his hair was left plain and unbraided, as always. Nothing pertaining to the King's appearance was new. There was only a deeper sorrow in his eyes, when she looked more closely, a sorrow that still came though no matter how well he managed to hide it.

So they stood there, enveloped in silence, neither of them seeking to speak a word. Frozen like statues they were, both of them torn between feelings of familiarity and estrangement. And then suddenly Thranduil rose from his high seat and spoke.

"Welcome, Tauriel", he said, and a small but sincere smile followed his words as he tilted his head to the side. He looked at her, eagerly awaiting her response.

Tauriel was admittedly taken a little aback by his unprecedented kindness. She had in no case expected a warm welcoming, given the terms on which they parted last time.

"Thank you, my lord", she answered meekly, her reaction producing an even wider smile on Thranduil's lips. Then he proceeded to gracefully descend the steps of his throne and walked until he came to stand a couple of meters from her.

"What brings you back to your old home, may I ask?" He was now eyeing her with curiosity.

Tauriel managed a small smile. "I bring you news, my lord. And I wished to deliver this news personally".

"What is it then? Speak, do not tarry", the Elvenking urged her, as worry quickly crept in his soul.

The former Captain read the change in his stance and the worry in his voice, and sought to soothe it. "Worry not, my lord, for it is not news of woe that I bring… I came to tell you of your son", she finally said and her emerald eyes gleamed.

"Legolas…" Thranduil whispered, his forehead creasing in pain of remembrance. "What of him have you to tell me? Have you perhaps seen him? Is he well?"

"I have seen him indeed", the elleth said and nodded. "Not two months past, in Rivendell. He sought lord Elrond, but in the respite of the council we had the chance to speak. He is alive and well, my lord", she said and smiled again softly.

Thranduil strove to fight back the tears that glimmered in the corners of his eyes. To receive such joyful news made him glad beyond comparison. Still, he schooled his expression into a composed one, and instead of an outburst of joy and gratitude, he simply resorted to a polite nod and smile.

"Thank you for the news you have brought me, Captain".

It was the second time in a very short time that Tauriel was taken by surprise. Why did he choose to use her old title? She wondered. But Thranduil interrupted her thoughts as he spoke again.

"But come now, you must have a long journey behind you. You ought to rest well before we resume our conversation. I will have your old chambers readied. They have not been used since your departure", he said and gave her a last look that perhaps spoke of a measure of longing, but Tauriel could not tell for sure.

A while later she was being handed the keys to her chambers and told that fresh bed linens and clothes to wear were awaiting her inside. "The King will be expecting you for dinner in his private chambers. He asked me to let you know of this, my lady, and also to extend his hope and wish that you will show up", the young servant girl said rather sheepishly. Then, after offering Tauriel a short curtsy, she left. Tauriel glanced at the keys; they were the same old keys that once belonged to her, and, apparently, would belong to her again now. She placed the key in the lock, opened the door and stepped inside.

The antechamber was left untouched; her desk stood in the back and the small bookcase was there against the opposite wall as she remembered it. She walked foreward and pushed the door to her sleeping quarters open. The room was lit with the golden afternoon light and the light breeze made the nearly transparent curtains dance. Tauriel looked around and smiled as tears of nostalgia rose unbidden in her eyes. Her soft bed was on the left side, while on the right one stood her dresser. Clothes of the traditional fabrics and colors of Mirkwood sat neatly folded on a chair. She approached and took them in her hands. There were two pairs of close-fitting breeches and two tunics. These were supposed to be her everyday garb. She was also provided with an elegant silken dress, should the occasion arise during her stay in Mirkwood, and of course a couple of nightgowns made from the softest material.

Tauriel felt immensely grateful as she let her fingers trace the soft fabrics before her. She had not expected such a warm and graceful reception. In fact, she had anticipated coldness and indifference, if not hostility. Was it because she came bearing news of the King's son? Nay, she quickly dismissed that thought, remembering that Thranduil bade her welcome well before she mentioned the reason of her visit.

With thoughts of how her oncoming dinner with the King might go, she removed her clothes and stepped into the adjoining chamber that was the bathroom. A small pool was to be found in the center of it and it was filled with fragrant warm water. Tauriel quickly descended into it and let herself relax in its soothing embrace.

The sun had just set when Thranduil and Tauriel sat to have dinner. He chose not the great hall, for he found it too vast and cold for such a private conversation, but the warmth of his own quarters. One of the antechambers he used as dining room and it was where he received his guest.

Tauriel appeared dressed in a simple form-hugging tunic and matching trousers of dark green. She had pondered a little whether she should wear the dress or not, but in the end she chose the simple garments she felt represented her best. Her hair she had braided at the sides and on the top, with all three braids intricately meeting on the back of her head. The rest of it cascaded in soft loose curls around her shoulders and beyond.

"Good evening, my lord", she started formally and even gave him a small bow.

"Tauriel", he said softly. "Please, sit".

She did as she was bidden, and they sat opposite each other. Before them a select array of fruit and vegetables, breads and pies as well as cheeses and of course wine was displayed. Tauriel marveled at the quantity of the food, wondering once more at the warmth of the reception. Thranduil poured wine into their glasses and urged her to try the delicacies.

"Your coming was entirely unexpected, but pleasant nonetheless", he admitted.

Tauriel lifted her eyes to look at him. He was dressed in dark hues, his tunic was high-collared but left his throat uncovered, creating a V the sides of which met right below the hollow of his throat. His familiar silver brooch stood there, clasping the edges of his cloak together. On his head he wore a simple thin crown of interwoven silver branches, and his hair fell freely well beyond his shoulders.

"Thank you, my lord. Your reception was most gracious, and I feel grateful for it", she continued in formal tones. Thranduil, however, seemed a little disappointed at that.

"Tauriel, you need not stand on ceremony. Much has transpired between us, and although years have passed, we are past formalities, I believe". He looked directly into her eyes, with a think eyebrow slightly raised, his face bearing a stern but not hostile expression now.

Tauriel sighed. "You are right. We are past formalities, but do not mistake my ways for mock politeness. I do not seek to insult you in your own home". _Not this time_ , she thought.

Thranduil held her gaze, which was accentuated by the soft glow of the lit candles, and, as he saw no ill-will there, he tried to smile a bit.

"May I ask, my lord, why all this?" She gestured around. "Why such a warm welcoming? I would have expected far less, given the circumstances of our parting last time. I would have thought I am unwelcome in the woods". Her voice fell to almost a whisper in the end and she hesitated to lift her eyes to his.

Thranduil sighed. He put down his fork and grasped his glass instead. With his eyes fixed on the crimson liquid inside it, he answered her. "You were never unwelcome in my woods, Tauriel. I would have welcomed you back any time you chose to return". He slowly lifted his eyes to hers and he found her looking at him intently, eyes laden with emotion.

"But come now, no more talk of the past. I would have you tell me more of what I wish to hear. Tell me of Legolas and the reason you have come".

Tauriel straightened her back and recomposed herself. "I met with Legolas in Rivendell, my lord, as I have already told you. It was in Rivendell that I made my residence after I fled from here, and here I dwell till today. Legolas came seeking for lord Elrond, and he remained in Rivendell for three days. He spoke to me of his life and experience among the Dunedain, my lord". Tauriel made a short pause and drank from her glass, giving Thranduil the opportunity to speak, if he so wished. But he made no attempt of interrupting her, eagerly awaiting for the continuation of her narration.

"He had met Aragorn son of Arathorn, the chieftain of the Dunedain. Legolas told me that it had been your advice, my lord, for him to seek the one known in the wilds as Strider". The Elvenking only nodded in affirmation. "The growing shadow is what urged Legolas to come to Rivendell. He sought lord Elrond's wisdom and counsel".

"Yes, the Shadow is growing", said Thranduil. "I felt the somnolent stir of ancient malice, a malice that by far surpassed that of Smaug's, years ago, even before Erebor fell. I have seen the horror of Mordor, Tauriel, and it is a horror I cannot forget", he concluded solemnly and his gaze fell to the flickering candles on the table. "And yet my son chose not to come to me for counsel but Elrond instead". His tone was bitter and pained. "Did he perchance explain to you this decision of his?"

"No, my lord. But perhaps I came to understand why he decided thus, as our talk went on".

"Speak then. Enlighten me", he urged her, turning his gleaming pale eyes to her. Thranduil became impatient and irritable as soon as he learned something that was not favoring him, Tauriel noticed. She had better tread carefully.

She took a deep breath and then spoke. "Legolas spoke to me of your last exchange on Ravenhill, amongst other things. He felt hurt and abandoned by you, my lord. He felt that you cared little for him, and he could not bear to think of returning to the same life in Mirkwood after the battle for Erebor". Tauriel made a short pause and took a shaky breath before going on. "He also felt betrayed by me, when I did not return his feelings but chose to love a dwarf instead", she added quietly, her voice faltering in the end.

A moment of silence followed, during which both seemed lost in their own thoughts. Thranduil finally looked up and spoke.

"We have both failed him, Tauriel".

Their eyes locked briefly and Tauriel nodded. "Yes, my lord".

"As we have failed each other".

Tauriel's eyes shot up again in surprise. She did not expect to hear something like that from the King, and she was by no means prepared to discuss the condition of their relationship. Her lips parted slightly in unspoken question and obvious reluctance.

Thranduil stood then from his chair and took a few steps, turning his back to the table. Tauriel watched him with her breath nearly caught in her throat. "I never wished for things to go so awry between us. But we have both made grave mistakes that cannot be undone, have we not, Tauriel?" He turned to look at her over his shoulder.

"We have, my lord. I have thought long upon my actions and I know my mistakes. But I bear little regret. I believe I would have done the same if I had a second chance", she stated brazenly, her courage suddenly finding its way back into her voice again.

"Yes, you would. Of that I am certain", Thranduil said and gave her a sharp side-glance, his lips now drawn into a thin line and his voice carrying its familiar chill. "I do not hold it against you that you let your love for the dwarf overshadow the love for your kin. You are young, and were younger still then. I would not begrudge an act directed by feelings of love".

"You would not?" She asked rather incredulously.

"No, I would not. Does that surprise you?" He looked at her again and paced a little, coming to stand in front of her seated self, his hands interlocked on his back. "But I do regret your decision to disregard my willingness to offer you back your life as it was, ridding you of every consequence".

"It would not be as it was, and it would not be free of consequence", Tauriel stated firmly, albeit in low and thoughtful tones.

"Perhaps you are right", he commented rather nonchalantly, looking away from her, and then he wisely chose to change the subject. "How long will you be staying?"

Tauriel received this as a notion to be gone from Mirkwood as soon as possible. "I assure you, my lord, I do not intend to tarry long".

"You have misread my intention. You are welcome to stay as long as you wish. In fact, a prolonged stay would indeed please me". The corners of his lips drew in a small smile.

Tauriel looked down and sat back in her chair. "Forgive my misinterpretation, my lord. I would have thought my presence here unlikable to you".

"Have I not told you already that you were never unwelcome here, Captain? Do you not heed my words?" He slightly raised his voice, and Tauriel swallowed. "Tell me now why you have come here. Surely it was not because you suddenly sympathized with me after fifty years and wished to brighten my mood by bringing me news of Legolas". The Elvenking tried to maintain a stern and steady tone, but uneasiness was palpable in his voice. "What is it that you seek?"

"I seek nothing, my lord. I came because Legolas asked me to", replied Tauriel and Thranduil's expression immediately turned into one of surprise. "He also wished me to inform you that he will be visiting Mirkwood soon enough, perhaps in the following year, when the time is right".

Surprise gave its place to joy on the King's features. He bothered not to hide from Tauriel the gladness he felt at her words. "This is wonderful news you have brought me, Tauriel. This is wonderful news indeed…"

He then returned to his seat by the table and resumed eating with a renewed appetite, remaining silent for a while, but the gleam of joy never left his eyes. Tauriel relaxed her stance as well and joined him in the consuming of the wonderful delicacies before them.

"Join me tomorrow, after lunch, in the royal gardens", Thranduil spoke up. "I trust you remember where they lie", he added with a smirk. "I would have you tell me of your life these fifty years, as well as of lord Elrond's thoughts on the oncoming darkness".

"Gladly, my lord". Tauriel sought to quickly accept his invitation, wishing to not irritate his mood.

"Good". Thranduil seemed genuinely pleased. "Enjoy the rest of the dinner now, I will tire you no more with questions. We have plenty of time for conversation in the days to come".

The Elvenking remained true to his word, and the pair finished their dinner in comfortable silence, exchanging only a few random comments over trivialities such as the exceptional quality of the food and wine. Although pleasantly surprised, Tauriel could not quite yet get used to the King's unexpectedly kind demeanor. In a way, he lured her into behaving politely herself. He wished for no ill-will of the past to surface between them. Could it be that he had really forgiven her and that it was not just an act simply because she bore him good news? For her part, she still felt somewhat angry at him, but the vivid flames of hatred had long gone out. Tauriel was not a spiteful person. She was kind, warm-hearted and open-minded, contrary to Thranduil who she had known as cold, calculating and manipulative. Could it be that he had changed a little? Tauriel could think of no reason other than Legolas' departure that could have shaken him. Had he realized the changes in himself? She wondered. She would surely have a lot to discuss with the King in the days to come.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The royal gardens were a favorite of Thranduil's. Here it was where he often retreated when he felt in need of peace and recollection. They lay to the west and south of the elven fortress, with the waters of the forest river surrounding and defining it. The balcony of the Elvenking's quarters also had a view of the beautiful gardens, and whenever he gazed upon them, grief gripped his heart, for the gardens had lost much of their splendor and beauty in the last eons, together with the forest. He still vividly remembered the long strolls he and his wife used to take on these very paths, walking amongst flowerbeds and fountains. He would often then pick the whitest flower he could find and pin it atop Lothrin's hair, but it was never a match for her radiant silver-white tresses.

Such thoughts danced in Thranduil's head as he sat upon a marble bench near the entrance to the gardens and waited for Tauriel to appear. It was a mild afternoon in late _Narbeleth_ , rather pleasant for that time of the year. The sun was slowly descending in the horizon, casting long shadows behind everything under its light. The Elvenking closed his eyes momentarily and let his back relax against the marble. He had always liked autumn, no matter how depressing and sorrowful many thought it was. It was autumn when he wed Lothrin, and they were both crowned with autumn leaves and berries.

The arrival of Tauriel interrupted Thranduil's thoughts. To some extent, he was glad it did, because the memory of his wife, although cherished, always woke the old pain of her loss in his heart.

The elleth stood in a short distance from him and wore a polite smile on her face. "Good afternoon, my lord", she greeted and beheld him, leisurely seated as he was on the bench, his legs crossed at the knee and his arms resting at his sides. His attire was rather simple and in the hues of brown. An overcoat was loosely tied over a white tunic and he wore boots of soft leather. A dark cloak rested on his shoulders, safely clasped at the base of his throat. Tauriel noticed that he wore no crown, but she did remember that Thranduil often chose to walk amongst his people crownless; he needed nothing distinctive of his station.

"Welcome, Tauriel. What took you so long?" he said and looked at her with a playful smirk on his lips.

Her green eyes glimmered under the golden afternoon light. "Forgive me, my lord, it was not easy to slip away from the questioning servants", she replied and tried to return the smile.

Thranduil waved away her excuse nonchalantly. "It matters not. You are here now. Come, sit", he told her and motioned for her to join him on the bench.

She did as he told her and sat on the bench carefully, turning then her eyes to his. He wore a relaxed expression, but the former Captain could see that his gaze was not free of worry or thought.

"How was your first day in your old home?"

"It was quite pleasant, my lord. I had the chance to meet and speak with old friends. Most of them bear me no ill-will, although I was met with some bitterness over my prolonged absence", she admitted.

"Of course. Had you expected the opposite? You were pardoned for your defiance. If the King was able to forgive, would not everyone else be?" His voice was deep and soft and his gaze steady.

"Why have you forgiven me?" Tauriel dared ask. "I did raise my bow against you and I disobeyed your direct orders. Nor have I ever shown repentance for what I did. You had every right to punish me in whatever way you deemed fit". She eyed him curiously. This was a question she carried all these years, and would have it answered, if possible.

"You expected me to punish you for your crimes. Perhaps you sought that punishment… you wished for it", Thranduil said and narrowed his eyes as he leaned slightly closer, examining her reaction. Tauriel's gaze faltered and dropped to her knees. "Atop Ravenhill, when I found you mourning the loss of that dwarf-"

"Kili. His name was Kili", she interrupted him, without lifting her eyes.

Thranduil swallowed his momentary irritation for the sake of civility. "You asked me then to take it from you. You begged for it. It was death that you sought, was it not, Tauriel?" He asked her intently, leaning closer still.

The elleth drew a shallow breath and a single tear ran down her cheek. She recognized the truth in his words but could not bring herself to admit that she had wished for death once.

Thranduil reached and touched her chin lightly, encouraging her to turn and look at him. She hesitantly complied, and saw a measure of sympathy in the King's eyes. "Death is not the answer, Tauriel. And did you ever believe I could take your life? No, never. Not even when I had you at the point of my sword. Kinslaying is considered among our race the most heinous crime. You are young and have only heard stories, but I was a young ellon in Doriath when the Second Kinslaying happened, which resulted as you know in the fall of our great city. Such atrocities had my eyes witnessed then that I could never take the life of an elf, Tauriel, not unless it was in utmost self-defense. My act against you was born out of sheer impulse at your audacity, but I never meant to harm you. As I knew you would never dare release that arrow. I sought to intimidate you, shake those treacherous thoughts from your head and bring you back in line", Thranduil slowly explained, unable to hide completely the anxiety in his voice. Would she understand him?

"But you did ask me whether I was ready to die for my love", she retorted. "Forgive me, my lord, but it is hard for me to believe you meant me no harm when the tip of your sword rested on my chest and your words spoke in agreement with your actions". Her brow was drawn in an angry furrow now and a frown descended upon her lips.

Thranduil sat upright, putting again distance between them, and regained his regal posture. "I see why you think so. And although you are sorely mistaken, I cannot give you wrong. Perhaps I would have thought the same, were I in your place". He regarded her coolly for a while, as she sat there anticipating his next words. "I knew you would rush to Ravenhill, in a futile attempt to save the dwarves, your loved one amongst them. But the dwarves were outnumbered and stood no chance. Were you ready to go up there and lay down your life in their defense, Tauriel? This is what I had asked you", he concluded and gave her a few moments to gather her thoughts and wrap her mind around what he had just revealed.

"I… had not thought…" she stuttered.

"No, you had not thought of that in the heat of events. But what about later, Tauriel, in the years that followed, when your head had cooled? Had this possibility of explanation never occurred to you? Or had it always been easier for you to dismiss my words as an act of a hostile, cruel King who does not care for his people and even wishes to take their lives?" Thranduil's voice was heavily laden with emotion, not bothering to hide how deeply hurt he felt by his former Captain.

Tauriel was stricken speechless. The usually eloquent elleth was bereft of any words to defend herself, so Thranduil spoke on.

"You declared your love so proudly, and with equal fervor and spite named me loveless". His eyes fell wearily on the ground before them, and his voice was deep and low, conveying fatigue and sorrow.

"Have you invited me here, my lord, to humiliate me and force an apology out of me?" Tauriel asked in a trembling but angry tone.

"I will force nothing that is not freely offered", he commented plainly and regarded her for a while, seemingly unaffected by her words.

"You chose to abandon the dwarves!" Tauriel suddenly sprang up. "You let your old hatred take over, and although you could have saved them, had you but dispatched a small force in their aid, you chose to turn away and leave, as you had done when the dragon came to Erebor! And you proclaim to love your people? You led them into war over a handful of jewels!" Tauriel was frantic, breaking at last the dam inside her and letting all those long-repressed emotions loose. It was now Thranduil's turn to sit there in shock, motionless, his eyes wide, his mouth agape and his brow trembling in indignation at the profound insult.

She turned her back to him, still seething inside, her chest heaving and her heart drumming in its confines. "I do charge you with the death of Kili. I know that you do not care. They were only dwarves, they did not matter to you. But they mattered to me. He mattered to me". Her last words were choked up in a sob that shook her shoulders.

Thranduil slowly rose from his seat and cautiously approached her, realizing the state of emotional distress she was in. He came and stood behind her, bending his head slightly over her shoulder.

"Wars are not fought this way, Tauriel. We cannot make decisions based on personal feelings", he spoke calmly, trying to shake the feelings of shock and insult and recompose himself.

"Do not presume to lecture me over how wars are fought!" She turned to face him again, glaring at him angrily. "You led the elven army to the doorstep of Erebor just to reclaim your precious white gems!"

"I did! And I gravely regretted it! I still regret every single day that passes every elven life that was lost that day, as well as in the wars that preceded that one. But I never thought a battle would be fought. I expected that the dwarves would soon yield, after seeing the sheer numbers of our army".

"So you placed the lives of your elves on a bet?"

"Every war is a bet, Tauriel. We could not afford to let Erebor simply be after Smaug was defeated. Mirkwood needed a claim on that treasure, as did Dale, if we were to maintain a balance with the dwarven kingdom in the years to come. I could not simply sit back and benevolently leave the dwarves to their business, to strengthen the richest kingdom that has ever been on this Middle Earth. They would soon overshadow us, they would establish themselves in trade and commerce, and everything would be done in their own terms, simply because they would be the richest and most powerful. I had to prevent that. I had to place a strong footing in that treasure, starting with the gems of Lasgalen, or else Mirkwood would soon diminish under the oppression of the ever-growing Shadow".

Thranduil sat back on the bench unceremoniously, and let his head fall in his hands. Tauriel stood there, opposite him, contemplating his words. Her anger had died down somewhat while he spoke. He had a point, she could not deny that.

"So it was all over politics", she commented.

"It is always over politics".

"Alright, perhaps I now understand why you marched to war, but this does not rectify your decision to abandon that small company of dwarves to its fate. You could have saved them…" her voice broke, rid of its flame and anger now, but laden with complaint and hurt.

"It was only a small company in a vast world, Tauriel. And they had decided to take on Azog, the leader of the orcs. I weighed the situation in my mind and decided that it was not worth it. I would not spend not even one more elven life in that cause. I am sorry, for I know my words hurt you deeply, but I believe you would have thought and done the same, were you in my position and not emotionally tied to any of the dwarves".

Thranduil looked at her softly, his own eyes brimming with tears of sorrow, and willing her to understand, to see beyond the veil of her abruptly terminated romance. Tauriel looked into his eyes, her own vision blurry with tears, and at last she understood. Though deeply it pained her, she could now somehow rationalize the King's decisions and actions, even though she would never agree with them. She only rarely had an insight on politics and matters of rule and governance, and found the complexity of them not to her liking. Tauriel had always been a soldier, receiving and later also delivering orders, but that was just it. She had no part in the grand schemings that took place in the background, and also had little tolerance or understanding for them. Her judgment was noble, but also quick and forward. That is why she often clashed with her King on important decisions.

"Are we resolved now? Can I consider this issue over?" Thranduil asked with a hint of hope in his voice and lifted his eyes to search her face. Shadows were cast on it as the last light of the day was leaving the earth, giving its place to night.

The elleth nodded. "Yes, my lord. Forgive my harsh words. It was my pained heart that spoke".

"I know. I do understand pain well, Tauriel. I told you, I begrudge you nothing, for I know it was all because of love. Had you committed treason on a different basis, the outcome would have been a lot different", he assured her with a raised eyebrow.

He then stood from the bench and drew his cloak closer around him, as a chilly evening breeze began to blow. He glanced at Tauriel and found her looking at him with contemplative eyes.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"The white gems… Why them? What do they mean to you?"

Thranduil averted his eyes from her face at her question. He had half expected her to ask him about them, but he truly hoped she would not.

"They are an heirloom of my House".

"Surely not an ordinary heirloom, to proclaim to go to war after them", Tauriel boldly commented.

"You are right, it is not. Once, thousands of years ago, some of them were set in a silver-chained necklace. That necklace was worn by my mother, until her death. My father then collected the necklace and kept it safe, intending to present my wife with it upon my wedding. And so it happened. That necklace passed on to Lothrin, and she wore it ever since, until her own demise…" Thranduil's voice fell to a whisper and his brow furrowed in pain. "Before we marched to Gundabad, around one thousand and eighty hundred years ago, she had it set into her armor, and it adorned her breastplate majestically. She was truly a magnificent Queen to behold, Tauriel. Born in the first age, a Sinda in origin and of a noble house, Lothrin was the most beautiful elleth in Doriath". A small smile crept upon his lips at the bittersweet remembrance. But soon his face fell as he resumed his narration of the events of Gundabad. "In the heat of battle, the great beasts of Morgoth came upon us. They were serpents of the North, not as great as their ancestors of the First Age, but terrible still. A united army of elves marched against the orcs of Gundabad and their allies, seeking to terminate their growing power. Elrond, Celeborn and myself commanded the army. I had not known that Galadriel, too, had accompanied Celeborn in secret, until I saw her before my eyes in the battle, when she threw away her cloak and appeared in all her terrible majesty as a ring-bearer. Her great power repelled the fire-drake, but it was too late… Lothrin had fallen, her existence charred into nothingness, with only the broken pieces of her sword and armor remaining. Blinded by my own searing pain and unable to move, I lay there and watched as she died in literally one breath, only seconds before Galadriel appeared and confronted the dragon. She did save me, for I would have surely died, had she not appeared. But Lothrin died".

Thranduil shut his eyes, tears running down his cheeks, and struggling to suppress the sobs that threatened to choke him. "She did not heed my command to stand back. She marched forward and challenged the beast on her own. She gave me one last look as she glanced back over her shoulder, and smiled. That moment I knew. And then the next moment she was raising her sword against the dragon's searing breath, taking on his full force, while I was only partially burned. I have replayed this scene countless times in my mind, Tauriel, and I have come to think that she did this purposefully. She had seen Galadriel coming and she knew there was not enough time for both of us to escape, she… she gave up her life for mine". Thranduil's voice broke and his shoulders shuddered, as he turned slightly from Tauriel, in an attempt to shield her eyes from his pain.

Tears arose in the elleth's eyes. She had known that the Queen had died in a battle long ago, but knew nothing of the particulars. And to see the cold and distant King now so broken and tormented stroke her as an oddity. Still, she felt for him and reached to touch him on the shoulder, wishing to provide him with some comfort.

"Thranduil…" she whispered, not realizing that she had called the King by his name for the first time in her life.

He slowly turned his teary eyes to her at the call of his name. "Forgive me for calling you devoid of love", she begged of him remorsefully. "I now see it was a huge mistake on my part. I had known so little of your tragic past…" Another tear run down her cheek.

Thranduil turned properly, causing her hand to slip from his shoulder, but he caught it in his own larger one and held it for a while. Tauriel sought not to remove it.

"After the battle had ended, my most trusted commanders gathered the pieces of her armor and brought them to me. There was nothing else to bring me of Lothrin. I will not describe to you the days that followed, for they were the most horrible days of my life. Pain was ripping me apart, the physical pain of my burnt left side, from head to hip, and also the immense emotional pain of her loss… Much later, in Mirkwood, and after I had somewhat healed, I had the gems removed from the armor and stored in a chest. Later still, during Thror's reign, when Erebor was at its mightiest, I had the chest delivered to the dwarves with the request for them to be set in a necklace, like the one of old. But the dwarves in the end withheld it from me, and the rest you know of". Thranduil sighed, having his emotions under control again, and glanced at Tauriel. She looked thoughtful.

"I see now why those white gems mattered so much to you. They were the only thing that remained of your wife…" the elleth said in a low and solemn voice. Thranduil simply nodded.

"You see, my young Tauriel, we have both known heartbreak. We both know how it feels to be robbed of your loved one so mercilessly, so abruptly. Your soul cries out in agony against the injustice and the immense pain, does it not? But soon you realize there is nothing to be done, and you are forced into acceptance. Elven memory does not fade, so I will not tell you to forget Kili, but to learn to live with the memory and the pain. It does get duller over the years", he said and hastily brushed away his almost dried tears. "Find something to anchor yourself on. I had Legolas. His presence kept me from fading. Mourn for your dwarf, if you feel the need to, Tauriel, but I will not have you fade", the Elvenking said with determination.

"I have mourned his loss every day since he died. But our romance never bloomed; it was very short-lived. I have only few memories of him… What pains me most is the prospect of a future together that will never come to pass, although I know it would be very difficult, and that old age, if not an enemy's sword, would take him from me one day. But I wish not to fade. I am still young and I have seen little of the world. I do not think my time is come yet", she said and looked up into his eyes, while a faint glimmer of hope shone in hers.

Thranduil smiled softly in agreement and pushed a stray strand of reddish hair from her face. "Yes, you are so young still. It gladdens my heart to hear you speak thus". Her pale blue eyes glistened and bore deeply into hers. Tauriel held his gaze for a while, and then suddenly an uneasiness crept all over her and she turned from him, taking a couple of steps forward.

"I should not have brought up the white gems. I did not mean to wake such painful memories in you, my lord".

"No, Tauriel. It helped us come to a better, deeper understanding, so I do not regret it", he said and offered her a small but sincere smile as he came beside her, and the two of them began walking slowly. "These memories arise ever so often in my thoughts. And the events happened a long time ago. It pains me, and forever will, but I have long learned to live with it… or rather, without her. Although, contrary to you, fading is not out of the question for me anymore".

"Fading? My lord, no!" Tauriel sounded horrified.

"I have lived a very long and full life, Tauriel. Once, I had a reason to remain. Legolas. But now… I fear I am left all alone, Captain, and I am too tired of it all", he admitted in a voice full of defeat and desolation.

"Do not say such words. Have you lost sight of your purpose? You are the King of the Woodland Realm! You have your people to care for and protect. And Legolas… you will always have Legolas. And he will be visiting soon, have you forgotten what I told you? What more of a motive do you need, my lord?"

Thranduil stopped in his steps, causing her to stop as well. He turned his gaze to the night sky. The silver stars shone in their eternal splendor. He remained silent for a moment, with the breath of the wind and the distant rustling of the tree-leaves being the only sounds in the night. Then he slowly turned his eyes from the sky and locked them with hers, before delivering his one-worded reply:

"Love".


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Tauriel lay sleepless in her bed. It was the fifth insomnious night in a row, and it had started taking its toll on her. True enough, as an elf she had limited need of sleep, but she was growing restless as the thoughts in her head would not cease to plague her.

She had seen little of the King in the previous days, due to his have schedule – diplomats from Erebor had arrived and Thranduil put great effort in treating them civilly, intending to make the best possible agreement and secure the trade advantages of the Woodland Realm. So, he was all wrapped up in business, and Tauriel had much time to herself to think and process the content of their latest conversation.

And think she did. Although she had managed to somehow understand the King's reasons and motives behind his actions during the battle for Erebor, she still could not comprehend his unexpected emotional openness and all the more his final word. Why should he open himself to her now, especially after their separate lives of more than fifty years?

Tauriel thought a little about the past. She thought of their first meeting. Thranduil had found her in the aftermath of a battle of their people against an orc invasion. The scene was still vivid before her eyes.

 _It was the year 2355 of the Third Age. She was only a child then, and striving to defend herself against the orc that had just murdered her mother, who lay before her feet. She had picked up the fallen elleth's sword and shield and was trying to stand against the orc's fury. The Elvenking then appeared, mounted upon his great elk, and quickly dispatched the orc, separating its head from its shoulders with one swift strike of his sword._

" _Are you alright, little one?" he asked her in a deep voice._

" _Yes, yes…" she stammered, and sought to brush her tears with her dirty hands, smearing her childish face._

" _What is your name?" he asked her as he swiftly dismounted and stepped close to her._

 _Tauriel lifted her eyes to his. He was so tall and majestic, towering over her. Little Tauriel was standing in awe before him. To her youthful eyes he seemed like a hero of ages gone, like the High Elves of the stories her father used to tell her. Beautiful and terrible at the same time he was, radiant in his silver armor, his long silver-blond hair flowing in the wind, and his eyes of ice and fire bearing into hers._

" _Tauriel… my, my lord", she managed fearfully._

 _He then glanced at the dead body of her mother at the child's feet, and sorrow feel upon his brow. A young elleth lay there slain, her brown hair, tangled and matted with blood and sweat, covered her pale face._

" _Your mother?" he quietly asked._

" _Yes", Tauriel choked as fresh tears spilled from her eyes and sobs shook her small frame._

 _The Elvenking then kneeled in front of the little girl and took her hands in his. Such small fingers felt weird entwined in his large ones that had not held a childish hand in centuries._

" _And your father?" he looked at her softly._

" _He… He died in a great battle. Dol Guldur…" Tauriel replied mournfully._

 _Thranduil thought quickly. It was against Dol Guldur he had led his troops not ten years ago, and that fateful battle against the orcs that occupied the old fortress had claimed many an elven life. Victory had not been celebrated that day._

" _What was his name?"_

" _Elboron… He was a Captain in the Guard, my mother told me"._

 _Thranduil clearly remembered the deceased Captain, but he did not know he had a daughter. How little he cared to know of his people's lives, he shamefully admitted inwardly. The resemblance between the girl and Elboron was obvious. Both of them had the same reddish hair and striking green eyes, clearly Silvan in origin._

" _Fear not, little one. I will take you to your relatives. Do you have anyone? A brother or an uncle perhaps?"_

" _I have none, my lord…" the child said and brushed her tears away once more._

 _Thranduil's heart broke for the child's plight. He removed the glove from his right hand and reached for the girl's cheek, seeking to comfort her with a small caress. Then the girl surprised him by grabbing tight hold of his wrist with both her hands and pressing her face into his palm._

" _Please, do not leave me here! Please, my lord!" she sobbed._

 _Thranduil was shaken and rendered momentarily speechless. He then slowly drew the child into his arms and hugged her protectively, bringing his other hand behind her head, and so he held her for a while, till her sobs had subsided and she had somewhat calmed._

" _I will not. I promise you, Tauriel, I will not leave you. Not now, nor ever"._

 _And then he lifted her with him as he stood and placed her upon his majestic mount. Together they galloped away from the scene of battle and death, and towards a new life for the orphaned elleth._

Tauriel brought her hand to her cheek and brushed away a tear. It was a bitter memory, the memory of her mother's death, but it also signaled the beginning of a new life for her in the Elvenking's halls.

She grew up under his care, although he never tried to become a second father to her. She was quickly acquainted with the King's son, Legolas, who, although much older than her, had a very youthful and at times childlike spirit, and quickly became her mentor and friend. Tauriel soon realized that Thranduil showed little affection even to his own son, so she never let the fact that he was quite distanced and cold bother herself much. He provided her with everything she needed, she had the best tutors and a few very kind and caring maids, but that was all. She could never presume to ask for something more from him, because, she thought, that was all he wanted to give.

The time passed, and Tauriel grew into a spirited and beautiful elleth, whose talents with the bow and dagger were undeniable. At her request, the Elvenking permitted her to join the Guard, and in just one eon she rose to the position of Captain, a position her late father used to hold, having gained the respect and praise of her comrades, as well as the King himself.

She let that warm feeling of times gone by linger a while, and thought of Thranduil as she had first known him. There was gentleness hidden in his heart, a gentleness that only rarely showed, however. Tauriel wondered if he had been different before the death of his wife. Had he ever been joyous and light-hearted? Had he laughed and danced merrily with his people? She wondered what it might have been like to have known him in his youth, before the tragic events of his life. But could the death of his wife alone have shattered him so much, or was there more to it? There were many elves who had lost loved ones in the wars against the Shadow, but she did not remember anyone else she knew becoming as cold and isolated, devoid of every joy and bereft of all hope as Thranduil. She, too, was cruelly robbed of her parents at a very young age, when she needed them most, but she did not turn into an unfeeling statue afterwards. She used that pain and sorrow of loss for good. It helped her feel keener for the losses of others, it made her more sensitive to grief and desolation around her. But apparently it had worked very differently for the Elvenking.

And he was old, he was so very old. She knew that he was born sometime in the First Age and lived in Doriath until its fall. Perhaps he was even older than lord Elrond, Tauriel thought. She knew or had heard of so very few elves that were so old and still lived in Middle Earth. It was possible that we was being really frank when he told her that he had tired of this life, with the sorrow of millennia weighing heavily upon his shoulders. Why did he not sail then? Surely his wife would be waiting for him on the other side…

The first light of dawn crept inside her room, filtered through the curtains, and distracted Tauriel from her thoughts. Another sleepless night had just passed. She wearily sat up in her bed and pushed the lush covers aside. A chill ran through her when her bare feet touched the cold floor, but she ignored it and walked to the small balcony. It was more of a flattened opening in the rock, really, rather than a proper balcony, but the rock was so intricately hewn that she did love that beautiful private place of hers very much. And she had missed it. Fifty years in Rivendell were not that much, but it wasn't such a negligible amount of time either.

Rivendell. The sudden wish to speak to Thranduil of her life there arose in her heart, and a small smile bloomed on her face. She would seek him out today, in hopes that the negotiations with the dwarven delegates would be over and they would be able to have some time to talk.

* * *

Thranduil squinted in discomfort as the first rays of the reddish sun of dawn fell upon his eyes and woke him. It was the first night he managed to sleep for a few hours straight, after countless ones he had spent in the company of wine and sleeplessness.

Not feeling like getting up just yet, he lazily drew the covers over his naked body and inhaled the fresh air of the chill morning. He enjoyed the feeling of the cool air filling his lungs, letting him know he was still alive. If only he could feel grateful for it again… Thranduil sighed and extended a long arm, reaching for his robe.

He got up and dressed quickly, as thoughts of the obstinate dwarves came to his mind, and his mood soured. Today was the last day of the negotiations, and the agreement needed to be concluded and validated. At least he had managed to ensure some favorable terms for his kingdom, so all these countless hours had not been in vain. And soon the stubborn dwarves would be off to their halls, and he would at last be left to his business.

How wearisome it was to remain civil with them! Dain had proved tough and cunning, not to mention the strong aversion he harbored for the Elvenking. All Thranduil could do was swallow his pride and play along, for the sake and prosperity of Mirkwood. But both of them thankfully realized their kingdoms needed to co-exist and to some extent cooperate, if their peoples were to be ready and allied against the rising Shadow in the south.

This was something that worried Thranduil deeply. Much as he wished to remain hidden in his fortress and wait out the war, he knew it could not happen, and sooner or later he would have to commit his forces to the fight against the Shadow. It was not out of cowardice that he wished to remain uninvolved in the war, but because he was very unwilling to shed any more elven blood in the defense of any cause. If they could live in their stronghold, isolated from the rest of the world, then for him it would be just fine. The rest of the world might as well go up in flames, as long as he and his people remained unaffected.

But it was not like he would be left alone to do as he pleased. Elrond and Galadriel would be the first to start nagging him for an alliance over a common cause, and then perhaps the men of Dale and even the dwarves would start pestering him with their demands and fears. And, of course, when the situation had reached its gloomiest, Mithrandir would appear, rolling like a storm in alarm.

 _What a stormcrow, really_ , Thranduil thought and grunted. Although the Elvenking did not particularly dislike the wizard, he could not tell that he was fond of him either. And he could also tell the wizard's annoyance at his demeanor and choices every time they happened to meet. Fortunately, these meetings were limited, as Mirkwood was most unwelcome to strangers.

A rap on his doors brought him back to present. He allowed entrance, and a servant appeared, informing him, after Iaurvir's request, that the meeting of the council would begin in two hours. Iaurvir was presently the head of the council, a wise ellon with a keen mind and an eloquent tongue. Thranduil replied that he would be present on time, and dismissed the servant.

Surely, the councilmen and women did not like to be kept waiting, but two hours were time enough for him to have breakfast and then ready himself properly for the meeting. The dwarves would also be present, so he wanted to look his best and bring out his most radiant and imposing self. He would not let those short-legged creatures boast over luxury and wealth. He might as well show them some.

* * *

Hours later, a victorious grin was plastered on Thranduil's face as he watched the dwarves exiting his doors and the elves of the council disperse. It was high noon, and he had started feeling admittedly hungry. So, with lifted spirits, he decided to make for the kitchens and demand something be prepared for him.

As he descended the steps that led there, Tauriel was the last person he had expected to see in the messy kitchen rooms. She wore a baker's apron and held a rolling pin in her hands, presumably helping the cooks with their job.

He stood in the doorway with quite an astounded look on his face. "Tauriel? What are you doing here?" he asked incredulously.

She looked up at him, only to reveal a flour-dusted nose and reddened cheeks, and a smile graced her features as she recognized him.

"I would ask the very same thing of you, my lord", she replied merrily.

More greetings followed as the cooks and servants stopped what they were doing for the moment to bow to their King. Thranduil waved at them to return to their work, and approached Tauriel.

"I would have something prepared for lunch, Captain. But what is your business here?" he asked her in a stern but not hostile tone.

"I came to help the cooks and also help pass the time. There is little for me to do here, and I often used to help the cooks in Rivendell, when I had the time".

"Hm. And what are you preparing?" he eyed the dough curiously with a raised brow.

"A pie, my lord", she said as she covered the berries with the dough that would make the crust once the pie was baked. She then turned and shoved the pie in the oven.

"Have lunch with me", he offered politely and with a small smile. Then he turned to the cooks and asked them to prepare something fitting for a King and his guest, also mentioning that they would have Tauriel's pie for dessert, causing the elleth to slightly blush and chuckle at that.

"And now out of these kitchens. I do expect to see you without flour smeared all over your face", he told her with a playful side-smirk as he turned and slowly walked away, allowing his crimson cloak to trail regally behind him.

* * *

"A cook, then? The list of your skills is ever growing, Captain".

Was he teasing her? Tauriel watched his playful expression and the glimmer in in his eyes as he popped another berry in his mouth.

"It was a pastime, my lord. I thought I might employ it here as well. It helps ease my mind of worrisome thoughts", she replied kindly.

"What is it that worries you then, Tauriel?" he inquired.

"A lot of things…" she said vaguely, her gaze lost in the tapestry of the opposite wall. "Our last conversation amongst them", she said and brought her attention back to the King.

"What of it? I thought the issue was resolved", he said and sought to keep his calm, although his fork with the impaled apple stopped in midair.

"I was thinking of what you said, that you have lost the will to live", Tauriel eyed him seriously.

"So you were thinking of me, Captain?" he tried to lighten the mood and his brow lifted in amusement.

Her own brow furrowed, though. "I was thinking of our conversation, my lord".

"I know", he said and sighed. "Proceed. I am listening".

"Do you truly wish to fade, my lord?"

"I do not _wish_ to fade, Tauriel… I simply would not mind it much if it happened. The kingdom has an heir, after all. Have I not fulfilled my duties and my purpose all these thousands of years, anyway?"

"But you cannot abandon this world now, now that the Shadow is growing! Lord Elrond fears it will not be long before the Dark Lord resumes his power", she said in a low, foreboding voice.

"Tell me more of Elrond's thoughts", Thranduil asked of her and placed his elbows on the table, propping himself on them and leaning slightly forward.

"There are rumors that the One Ring has been found, and that Sauron now stirs. Soon he will send his dark servants after it. You know of whom I speak…"

"The Nazgul. It was in our very forest that the Dark Lord made his dwelling, guised as the Necromancer. Hidden in our abandoned fortress of Amon Lanc he remained and slowly gathered his power and called forth his servants of evil… Amon Lanc was our first residence, when my father and I came to Greenwood the Great. Today it is called Dol Guldur, as you know... It was a wonderful place once, Tauriel. But no more", he commented solemnly and reached for the pie the elleth had made. "What do you think? Let us try your pie", he said with a sad smile and cut pieces of it, serving himself and her as well.

For a moment both of them ate in silence, savoring the taste of berries and crispy crust. "Well done, I really like it. Perhaps I will send word to Elrond to promote you as head of the cooks in Rivendell", he again teased her.

Tauriel smiled. "I am sure Rivendell can boast of having cooks far more skilled than myself".

"Come, tell me of your life there. What have you been doing these fifty years under the protective wings of Elrond?" There was slight sarcasm in his words, but Tauriel chose to ignore it.

"I was well-received when I sought refuge there. Lord Elrond and I had a long talk over what led me to flee from the Woodland Realm. He was quite understanding, I must say, and he offered me a place to stay for as long as I wished. I met his sons and daughter as well. Nobody treated me with hostility or suspicion. The elves of Rivendell are very unlike us. They are open, friendly, and wise, like their lord".

"Unlike the elves of Mirkwood, who are distrustful, suspicious and isolated, like their lord", he mimicked her wording with bitterness and looked away.

"I could not have said it more aptly myself". She would not let him have it his way.

Thranduil snorted and tapped his fingertips on the wooden surface of the table. "And you have become one of them? Do you feel as an elf of Rivendell now?"

"To some small part, perhaps yes. But fifty years are not many, my lord, and my heart is Silvan. I do not think those elves of mostly Noldorin descent would like or care much for our free and wild nature. They are always proper and decent, very careful of their ways and manners".

Thranduil smiled. "It is exactly this way of life that drew my kin to your lands, millennia ago, as you may already know, Captain. I myself have little tolerance for over-the-top propriety and fake politeness".

"I know that, Thrand- … my lord". Tauriel's eyes fell in shame at her almost slip.

The Elvenking's eyes shot to her face. "What was that, Captain? Seeking to obtain familiarity?"

"It was just a slip of the tongue. Forgive me, my lord. I did not seek anything", she replied sheepishly.

"I would not mind it if you did", he spoke in a soft tone, startling Tauriel, and when she lifted her eyes to look at him again, she found him regarding her with sorrow and something else that she could not determine.

"Oh…" she breathlessly managed.

"A little bit of friendliness would not harm an old and lonely ellon", he went on, wearing the same expression on his ageless face. "You are the only one who has ever dared break the rules and step beyond the boundaries, who has ever raised her voice to me and even put me in my place, no matter how much I dislike that. Eru, you were even so bold as to draw your bow against me in defense of your noble cause! I may disapprove of your rebellious acts, but your unparalleled strength of character has definitely won my respect".

At that he extended his arm and let his long fingers rest softly upon her smaller ones. As if stricken by lightning at the unexpected touch, Tauriel withdrew her hand immediately. Thranduil's hand remained hovering for a second, and then he drew it back and a sorrowful frown fell upon his features.

"Forgive me".

Tauriel then stood from her seat, clearly nervous. "I am sorry… I have to go", she uttered and made for the door.

"Tauriel, wait!" he called after her and rose.

The elleth gave him a pained glance over her shoulder and then disappeared.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Tauriel actively avoided Thranduil in the days that followed. She was upset and did not know what to make of his choice to touch her hand. She did not also know why she felt so affected by a seemingly innocent and unimportant move.

He had made it clear that he needed some company. Friendship, perhaps. But why choose her out of hundreds of elves in his kingdom? Why her, who had openly defied him and even threatened his life? He should be hating her, not asking for her friendship.

Or was it not simply friendship that he sought? She recalled their conversation at the gardens. He said he needed love in his life. Could he really mean love in a romantic sense? Tauriel was no child, she could see that possibility, but the thought did make her shudder. And, in the depths of her heart, if she wished to be truly sincere with herself, she felt strangely drawn to Thranduil – and perhaps appalled by him in equal measure. But she felt drawn to him since she was a small child, after all. Tauriel avoided the exploration of that weird feeling any further, lest she discovered something she would not easily come to terms with.

Suddenly she felt she was suffocating. Without a second thought, she sprang from her seat and sought to gather her few belongings. By first light tomorrow she would be leaving Mirkwood and returning to Rivendell. If running away was her only option, then run away she would.

A small sound like the rustle of a leaf coming from the door was caught by her keen elven ear, and she turned towards it. She then saw a yellowish piece of parchment lying on the floor. Someone had thrown that under her door. Anxiety gripped her heart at the dire suspicion about the identity of the person who did it, and she cautiously walked close and picked up the paper.

She unfolded it and immediately recognized the King's flowing script.

 _Tauriel,_

 _I know you have been avoiding me, and I do regret it dearly that my thoughtlessness has caused you to do so. We were brought apart by grave events once. I trust we will not allow lesser things to create a new rift between us, now that we have just began mending the past. Please meet me on the terrace tonight, so that we can resolve this issue._

 _Thranduil_

Tauriel's heart beat fast in her chest as she went through his short note thrice. So he did feel remorse for overstepping, she thought. And she also noticed that the wording of the note did not convey anything more than friendliness, and a desire to mend the past. Perhaps she could even call it formal. For some reason, she would have liked it more if it was a little more personal.

What was she thinking now? A small note of his and here she was, already contradicting herself. She sighed in annoyance and glanced around her room, which had become quite messy at her sudden decision to pick up her stuff and leave.

Then she looked at the parchment once more. Alright, she thought. She would grant him his wish for a final meeting tonight, because she, too, did not like leaving things unsaid or uncleared. And then, morning come, she would be gone.

* * *

Thranduil was pacing around his bedroom, anxiety obvious in his stance. He hoped he had not ruined it all with that gesture of his. Had he overstepped so much that it caused Tauriel to recoil and avoid him for nearly a week? Was he truly so disgusting to her? He would take a vow that he had seen otherwise during their previous encounters.

Around and around he paced, his loosely tied robe flowing behind him, but the thoughts would not cease. He inwardly questioned his own self:

" _What did you mean by that touch?"_

" _I was being friendly"._

" _Friendly? Are you sure there is nothing more?"_

" _What more?"_

" _Come on, do not play coy with your own self. Admit it"._

" _Fine. I like her"._

" _You like her? It sounds weak as a statement. And you like no one, really"._

" _That is not true…"_

" _Of course it is true! You are all alone, isolated, liked by none and loved by even less, if possible"._

" _Legolas?"_

" _You pushed him away. You do not deserve him"._

" _Tauriel…"_

" _Yes, here we come to her again. You disappointed her. She trusted you and you betrayed her"._

" _I have not betrayed her, I did what was best for my people. How could I ever betray her? I promised to never leave her"._

" _But you did leave her. You abandoned her to go and die if she pleased"._

" _I was angry, I was hurt. I had saved her life and she threatened to take mine! Why are you so harsh a judge?"_

" _Because you deserve it! Curse you to a death in fire!"_

" _No, do not say that! I have lost so much in fire!"_

" _But you are cursed. Nothing will change that. Do not delude yourself"._

" _She will change that…"_

" _I said do not delude yourself. How could she possibly ever change your fate? She despises you"._

" _No, it cannot be true. I refuse to believe that. She does not despise me. I have seen her eyes… There is something else, something deeper there. Her heart is gentle, it does not harbor hatred"._

" _And what about your own icy heart? Is there anything but arrogance, coldness and spite left in there?"_

" _Yes… it is all still there… only buried so deep… It is hard for me to find it"._

" _It? What is it you are looking for?"_

" _Love. I want love. I need love!"_

" _But you have done everything to banish it from your life"._

" _I know. But now I feel it slowly seeping back in my heart. She has awoken these feelings inside me"._

" _What? Do not fool yourself. You cannot possibly have fallen for her over these two weeks she has been here"._

" _No, not over these two weeks. It is nothing new, though I have always shied away from it in fear. But now that I saw her again I know. I love her. I have loved her for so long"._

" _What did you say?"_

" _I love her!"_

" _What?"_

" _I love her!"_

Thranduil collapsed on his desk, breathing heavily. The questioning voice in his head was at last silenced, as soon as he faced the truth of his heart. And a dangerous truth it was, for the Elvenking feared the elleth would in no case share his feelings, and he did not wish to suddenly tip the scales and destroy that delicate balance they had at last come to find.

He then remembered the note he had written her and slipped under her door not two hours ago. He wondered whether she would appear or not. Thranduil had chosen the terrace as their meeting place, since it provided a wonderful view of the starlit night sky, and thought that the peaceful surroundings might help them remain calm and converse quietly. He did not wish to speak in the confines of a room. But, on the other hand, could it be that his choice was ill-advised? Would the terrace seem to Tauriel too much of a romantic spot, and, for fear of seduction, she might not come to meet him?

A few more hours and he would receive the answer to his burning questions. A few more hours of agony and emotional distress and then he would know the truth.

* * *

The night air was clear and chill, marking the turning of seasons. It would soon be winter, and nature was preparing for it. To the north, Erebor was painted as a huge black mass far in the horizon. To every other direction, there was only the vastness of the forest to be seen.

The Elvenking beheld this scenery around him as he stood on the terrace, the highest place of his halls, and waited for Tauriel. He was clad in black tonight, looking harmonious with his surroundings. His high-collared coat reached to the knee and was embroidered with silver thread. A matching cloak he wore on his shoulders, and on his head sat a thin silver circlet. But the King's face betrayed anxiety and impatience, as the time went by and Tauriel would not come.

He had been waiting for over three hours, and it was past midnight now, but he was still alone. Thranduil sighed. He felt even the stars mocked him. With a last glance around, he decided to leave. She would not come.

But, as fate often finds it to her liking to play such games on people, it was right at that very moment when Tauriel appeared at the top of the flight of stairs that led to the terrace. Thranduil beheld her in surprise.

"I thought you would not come", he told her quietly.

"But I did", she commented and managed a small smile.

Thranduil tied his hands behind his back, lest they acted on their own, without his leave.

"I am glad you did", he said and his eyes shone.

Tauriel took a moment to look at him. Eru, he was beautiful! There was a silver light about him, and his alabaster skin looked luminescent under the light of the stars, or perhaps it shone on its own. His hair, long and straight and as always unbraided, reflected the starlight. Thranduil looked magnificent, and Tauriel felt awed before this ancient elf, whose eyes had seen so much. Oh, his eyes. Their pale blue had nearly turned into silver under this peculiar light, and the depths of them she could not define, for she felt so drawn into them that it nearly made her feel dizzy.

Thranduil then turned slightly and led his guest away from the stairs and towards the center of the terrace. There was no railing on its edge; it was simply a place of circular flat rock, carved after the elven fashion. Four small benches were to be found near its circumference, one placed at each of the cardinal points, and a small bed of evening primroses stood in the center of it.

"Forgive me for overstepping", he started. "I did not wish to ruin our newfound friendship". Tauriel noticed the regret in his tone, and her stance softened a little.

"I do not think it is newfound, Thranduil". This time she spoke steadily, not hesitating to use his name. She was met with no objection. "And I would not call it friendship either".

He looked at her eyes; those emerald pools of hers were shining with a light of their own. "Yes, you are right. We have never been friends", he observed.

"But we have been _something._ Or perhaps many things", she insisted. "I do not forget your kindness and magnanimity when you saved me from the orcs, and then fostered and raised me in your own halls. I am forever indebted to you for that".

"I do not wish you to feel indebted, Tauriel", he started, but she quickly spoke again, not wanting to miss the opportunity presented here.

"How do you wish me to feel, Thranduil?" She was addressing the ellon, not the King.

His throat suddenly went dry and his voice faltered, and he felt his courage deserting him. "I cannot tell you how or what to feel… I can only speak for myself". There was a faint trembling in the depths of his eyes.

"But what would you wish me to feel?" Tauriel pressed on and even took a bold step closer.

She was testing him.

"I wish… I wish you felt like I do", he finally admitted.

"And how is that? How do you feel?" she went on relentlessly. Thranduil felt he was caught in a narrow siege and there was no way out.

He swallowed and took a step back. "Careful, young one. You tempt the fire and you may not like the feel of burning".

"Do not speak in riddles, please. Will you answer me or not?" Tauriel was growing impatient.

He took a long moment to look at her. Her long hair shone like burning flames, accentuating the sharp lines of her face. Her eyes, intent on him, spoke of determination and strong will. She would not let him slip away easily. But had he not invited her here tonight to speak the truth?

Thranduil took a deep breath and steadied his resolve. "I will give you my answer. But first, may I ask, why are you so angry at me? Was touching your hand such a terrible thing to do?"

He sounded somewhat pained, and Tauriel softened and averted her eyes. "It was not terrible, in the literal sense. But it was unexpected and uncalled-for", she explained.

"I understand… But still, why did you recoil that much? Do you still harbor feelings of hatred towards me?"

"No, I do not hate you. I just… I just felt startled and did not know what to make of it", she said and eyed him again.

Thranduil nodded. A long moment of silence passed between the two.

"I am in love with you, Tauriel", he finally confessed in a low voice.

There it was, his secret out in the open. And, strangely enough, he felt as if a heavy burden was lifted from his chest.

The elleth's eyes opened wide in astonishment and disbelief, and her lips parted slightly. Thranduil, on the other hand, was looking at her intently, with anxiety and anticipation evident in his eyes.

"You do not really mean that… Your majesty would never turn to look at a lowly Silvan elf", she mimicked the words he had once uttered and had hurt her so much. "All the more an elf who shamed you with her disobedience and even pointed an arrow at your head".

"You are not lowly, Tauriel. I had said that out of spite back then, being jealous of my own son. You see, I have been in love with you for quite long, but chose to remain blind to it. I never dared confront my feelings face to face. I simply could not believe I could ever feel love for an elleth again after Lothrin died. I had persuaded myself I was to spend my eternal life alone, with no one at my side, no one to care for me and to care for, no one to hold at night, no one's face to see in the morning…" Words were pouring freely out of his mouth, but in the end his voice broke and he turned his back to Tauriel, bringing his palm to his face.

Tauriel stood motionless, unsure of how to respond to his emotional distress, when she herself felt a torrent of contradicting emotions fighting for domination in her heart.

"But your wife… She is waiting for you on the golden shores of Valinor. You are bound to her forever. How could you love another? Why do you seek to plant the seed of hope where none should be?" she asked him in a trembling voice.

Thranduil turned to face her and his eyes were glistening with tears. "If Lothrin was waiting for me in Valinor, I would have long sailed", he said in a low voice, and then he proceeded to explain. "Dragonfire is not like ordinary fire. Dragons were created by Morgoth, and their breath carries the stigma of his great malice. Whatever is touched by dragonfire is never to become again as it once was. It is forever marred and destroyed. Lothrin was consumed completely by it. It was not only her _hroa_ that was destroyed, but her _fea,_ too, was damaged beyond mending. It will remain in the Halls of Mandos forever, unable and unfit to be housed in a corporeal form ever again", Thranduil offered her the bitter explanation and sighed. "We are not bound anymore. I will never see her again. There is no one waiting for me in Valinor", he said and cast his eyes down.

"How do you know of that for sure?" Tauriel inquired.

"Galadriel", he sighed. "Years after the battle of Gundabad I sought her counsel, hoping to obtain answers to my questions. And answers I received, though not at all to my liking".

Tauriel took a step closer to him. "But I remember you said you, too, were burned by dragonfire. Your left side, head to hip, you had said. I see no marks of it on you".

"Elven magic, my dear Captain. It is only a glamor to conceal the horrible truth", he said and looked away.

"I want to see the truth. The real you, Thranduil. You invited me in a wild dance, and I would dance all the steps. Please", she asked of him in a voice laden with emotion, while tears brimmed in her eyes, for learning of his plight and for having always judged him so superficially.

The Elvenking sighed and turned his face to Tauriel. He saw her distress, and peered deep in her eyes. There was so much hidden there, nameless and formless still, but it was there. And in that moment he decided to entrust his heart in her hands.

"As you wish".

The glamor concealing his terrible injuries was removed then, and Tauriel beheld his true face in horror. All skin was burned away, revealing the muscle, sinew and bone beneath. His left eye turned into a milky white, obviously blind, and she could clearly see the burnt flesh disappearing under the collar of his tunic. She could only imagine the extent of damage on his body. The simultaneous view of his immaculate right side and his utterly destroyed left one left her frozen and breathless, shocked at how he managed to go on living after all that had happened to him, all the more resume the rule of his kingdom and even fight more battles. Beauty of the form was very important to the elves, who, as a race, were famed for their unparalleled beauty, and she could only speculate his pain and despair after Gundabad. No wonder he did not wish to shed any more blood in defense of that accursed land.

Thranduil observed her horror and silence and thought she was appalled by him because of his real form. A tear ran from his good eye, and he sought to quickly restore the glamor so as not to disgust her anymore.

"Now you know. You have learned all of my secrets. You have seen how I am. I must tell you, Tauriel, that my _fea_ is damaged as well. It does not bear the radiant light of the Eldar anymore. It is tainted by Morgoth's touch… I am tainted, Tauriel. I am so damaged, and so broken…" His voice caught in his throat, as he beheld the renewed horror and devastation that rose in her gaze as she heard this last piece of information.

"What… What do you mean?" she inquired in trepidation.

"My fea is tainted with malicious traits, that are not meant for the elves. Do you wonder why I am so cold and arrogant, so bitter and sarcastic, so distanced, so indifferent towards the fate of everyone outside my kingdom? Do you wonder why greed for treasure and power and a disregard for the value of life nestle in my heart? Or even why I am so unlike the other elf lords – Elrond, Celeborn and even Galadriel, a villain compared to their benevolence? Well, now you know", he concluded in a grave tone.

"This is terrible, unfathomable… I could never imagine… I never knew what you have been through…" Tauriel whispered. "How did you ever manage to survive, to go on?"

Thranduil sighed. "I had a son to live for, and a people to rule and protect".

Silence fell once more between them, while both simply looked at each other in sorrow. Thranduil had by now lost all hope that Tauriel might ever feel something other than pity or aversion for him.

"Do you find it absurd and irrational that a horrid and scarred creature like me might wish to be loved?" he asked her in a voice trembling with despair and insecurity, all bare and naked as his soul was in front of her, while a second tear followed the first.

Instead of giving him a verbal answer, Tauriel rushed into his arms and hugged him tightly, burying her face in the hollow of his throat. He momentarily froze, not anticipating something like that, but soon he relaxed and let his arms envelop her protectively for the first time since she had been a small child crying over her mother's corpse. It was a soothing embrace for both of them.

"You have every right to wish to be loved. And you deserve to be loved. A lesser elf would not have made it. But you did. And you are our King, Thranduil", she murmured against his chest and hugged him tighter still. "Forgive me for judging you so harshly. I did not know".

He brought his chin to rest atop her head, and let his fingers thread in her soft locks. "My dear Tauriel, it is not your pity or even soothing flattery that I seek. I would not have you feel sorry for my fate. I have made many mistakes and I am well deserving of what has befallen me", he said solemnly.

"Do not say that. Nobody should be deserving of such a fate". She drew back a little and lifted her eyes to look at him. "And it is not pity I feel for you".

Thranduil's eyes flickered like lit candles at her words. "What is it, then?" His voice was deep and emotional.

"I cannot name it yet… It is a mixture of feelings, both positive and negative, but strong nonetheless. Please, do not ask me to name it", she begged of him in a small voice. He nodded.

"I would not press you for anything. I told you, I will force nothing that is not freely offered", he reassured her and placed a soft kiss upon her brow.

A strange, tingling sensation spread all over her at the touch of his lips on her skin, and she shuddered in his embrace. Thranduil felt her slight tremor and smiled softly, as his face hovered only a breath away from hers. She lifted her eyes to look at him, and it was only love and longing she read in his gaze.

"Do you think I deserve to be loved again, Tauriel? Do you think you could ever love a broken ellon like me?"

"I do not know if I could ever love someone like you…" she started. Thranduil's face fell, despair flooding his heart again.

But then Tauriel saw his misplaced misery and hurried to speak on, wishing to prevent any more harm from being done needlessly. She said:

"But perhaps I could try to love _you_ ".


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Morning came, but Tauriel was still in her chambers in Mirkwood. Her leather travel bag still sat there on her desk, half-filled with clothes and other daily-use articles, while a cloak and a spare tunic were carelessly draped upon the backrest of a chair.

She stood with her hands resting on her hips, glancing around absent-mindedly. Thoughts were racing in her head. Should she stay or should she go?

The thoughts of Rivendell had not abandoned her completely. There was still a desire of fleeing nestled in her heart, but that very heart was also beating fast with a wild mixture of feelings. Thranduil had come to a groundshaking confession, but Tauriel had no idea how to respond to it.

True enough, when he held her in his arms and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, she did feel thrilled. She did feel safe, protected and warm in his strong embrace. But perhaps it was just a resurfacing of those long-forgotten childhood feelings, and nothing more. On the other hand, when their faces were only a breath apart, she did anticipate a kiss, a kiss that never came, though. And perhaps it was better that it did not. The situation was complicated enough as it was.

Tauriel felt sorry for the Elvenking, and did pity his fate, although she had told him differently. No elf, man or dwarf should ever go through so much death and suffering. But were really these feelings of compassion and sorrow that threw her so eagerly in his arms? She paused and reminisced of that moment. What had she felt then? What had her purpose been? It was an uncontrollable impulse, to hold him and feel him against her, to comfort him and chase away his sorrow. It was a profound wish to alleviate his pain and feel his body soften and relax, to see the creases of sorrow and grief on his face ease.

Thranduil was hopelessly seeking for redemption, Tauriel concluded. He sought for his grief and torment to be washed away miraculously, but the elleth doubted that a miracle could happen. Even if she did feel for him as he felt for her, how could she ever mend his broken heart?

And she had a grief and a mourning of her own. There was always the bitter memory and the pain of her parents' demise in her mind. And Kili. Her heart still cried for Kili, and probably ever would. But she remembered what Thranduil had told her a few days ago. He acknowledged her love and her need to mourn, but he did ask of her to hold on to something, to find a reason to live, something to anchor herself on and not lose herself in grief and despair. Could it be that he meant for himself to be the anchor?

A shudder traveled down her spine. He asked too much of her, and she was not ready to give anything. Fear gripped her heart. Those new prospects Thranduil opened looked scary to Tauriel. Could she really love someone like him? Someone so broken, so deformed even, and so desperate?

And yet he had trusted her with the nakedness of his heart and mind. He let the ice of his demeanor melt away, and revealed his true self to her. Tauriel was pretty sure she was the only one he had offered that privilege, if privilege it may be called. And she did tell him in the end that perhaps she could try and love him, did she not?

The former Captain sighed in frustration. Half of her wished to run back to Rivendell, while the other half of her wished to run back into his arms.

* * *

The Elvenking was seated in his designated chair, presiding over the council being held at the moment. The issue of discussion was an important one. It concerned the rescheduling of the patrol routes, because the threat of the giant spiders had grown even more recently. Those odious creatures had grown too bold indeed, daring to reach even the secluded fortress of the woodland elves. It was an unmistakable sign of the rising Darkness in the south, a Darkness that relentlessly sought to expand once more over Middle Earth and cover it in its black veil of malice, death and desolation.

No matter how much focused on the issue at hand Thranduil strove to remain, his thoughts inadvertently wandered off to a certain elleth. He wondered what her opinion might be, were she present at the council. The King spared a quick glance around. The four Captains of the Guard stood behind the table, opposite him. Tall and proud they were, dressed in the traditional greens and browns of the Guard, brave and skilled elves the lot of them. Once, Tauriel, too, would stand among them and await his word, his command. What would she say now? What new or additional patrol routes would she propose to be drawn?

Thranduil sighed and tried to shake off these thoughts. She was probably in her rooms now anyway, thinking of their heated last exchange. There was no way she could take part in the council, so he had better bring his attention back to lord Iaurvir's words and seek to conclude with the patrol routes and the council in general as quickly as possible.

* * *

Hours later, in the late evening, Thranduil was making for his quarters, mentally exhausted by the demands of the day and by the fragility he felt inside. Now he only wished for a glass of wine and the solitude of his bed, expecting his crimson friend to be loyally waiting for him, safely hidden in a jug on his desk.

What he did not expect, however, was to find Tauriel standing in front of his doors, waiting for him.

He stopped in his steps with a startle. "Tauriel? What are you doing here?"

"I was waiting for you, my lord, so that we may speak", she replied. "Privately", she added with a slightly raised brow.

A hint of anxiety crawled inside Thranduil's heart, and he quickly proceeded to step froward and unlock the doors, letting Tauriel in.

She was received into his study, but he walked past it, pushing the door to his bedchamber open. Seeing her hesitance, he encouraged her in.

"Come. It is chilly and I would have the fireplace lit. My study is too cold a room", he said and a small smile graced his fine features.

Tauriel followed behind him in silence. She felt slightly uneasy and out of place to be invited in the King's private quarters, rooms that, she thought, were reserved for him and his Queen.

As soon as they were in, Thranduil closed the door and walked to the fireplace, the lighting of which he occupied himself with for the next few minutes. Soon enough a warm glow emanated from it, lighting the room and lending a welcoming feeling to it.

The Elvenking then gestured to a plush set of a sofa and two armchairs that sat on a thick carpet by the fireplace. "Make yourself comfortable, dear Captain", he offered kindly.

Tauriel removed her cloak and carefully chose to sit in an armchair, thus securing her staying quite far from his grasp. Thranduil swiftly threw off his heavy royal cloak and exchanged it for a lighter and far more comfortable one. He then let himself sit down on the sofa, relishing the softness of the cushions against his back. After that, Tauriel had his undivided attention.

"You look tired", she started in a friendly tone.

"Oh, I am. How can I not be? Those elves of the council wearied me to no end. And I had little mind for politics or strategics today", he responded and eyed her intently. "I would rather have spent all these hours here, with you".

A soft gasp escaped Tauriel's lips, but then she managed a small smile. "I must admit that thoughts of you occupied my head most of the day, my lord".

Thranduil smiled. He was pleased. "Do not "my lord" me. It is just the two of us here, Tauriel".

"Thranduil", she said and he nodded in approval. "I thought a lot of our conversation upon the terrace last night… of what you said". There was a trace of reluctance in her voice.

"I said many things last night".

"Do you truly love me?" she jumped to the point, suddenly tired of prologues and propriety.

The Elvenking was slightly taken aback by her forwardness. "Of course… I meant every word I said. Do you doubt me?"

"Yes, I do".

He looked crestfallen at her response. "Why?"

"You said it yourself. Your _fea_ is touched by Morgoth's hand, it is tainted by negative qualities. How can you be sure what you feel is love and not something else, something darker perhaps?" she asked with trepidation.

His gaze darkened and his expression turned serious. "I know what I feel. Yes, Darkness has touched me, but it has not abolished everything good in me completely. Do you truly think me incapable of loving another?" he asked incredulously.

"I do not know. Perhaps you wish to, but can you, really?" Tauriel voiced her doubt.

"Let me show you. Will you?" he asked of her in a deep, emotional voice, slightly leaning to her side.

Tauriel sighed and stood up, turning her back to him. Her gaze traveled to the flickering flames, licking over the wood in the fireplace. "I do not know", she repeated. "Perhaps what you feel is nothing but a profound need for friendship and companionship, or some kind of protectiveness towards me".

"Friendship? Protectiveness? I would seek all that and so much more", he said as he stood as well, the blood slowly rising to his temples. "But it seems to me you seek to dismiss my feelings of love as something lesser, so as to escape them. Is that so, Tauriel?" he asked in a controlled tone, but anger was seething beneath the cool surface.

The elleth could not bear to turn and face him. She remained silent.

"It is so, then. What an insult", he said bitterly, as anger slowly dissipated and gave place to sorrow and disappointment. "You are under no obligation to return my feelings, but please do not resort to such contemptible methods only to break yourself free of me. I never sought to restrain you, and I will not have it".

Thranduil did sound offended. Tauriel did not understand how their conversation had suddenly turned so sour.

"I once made the mistake of dismissing the love you felt as not not real. Perhaps I had not realized it back then, but in truth I wanted you to love _me_ , I would not have you love another. I could not see clearly through the fog of my arrogance and selfishness, and when I at last did, it was too late. Much harm had been done, and a rift had opened between us. Please, do not make the same mistake now. What I feel for you is real", he pleaded.

Slowly she turned her face to look at him. Her eyes bore sorrow and uncertainty as she gazed into his burning ones.

"It is not the same… and it is not what I meant", she said brokenly.

"What did you mean, then?" his own voice was raw with emotion.

"I do not know if I can be your anchor, Thranduil. I am not strong enough, I cannot heal your broken heart. It is too much you ask of me, and I am also broken. Perhaps not as terribly as you, but I have my own wounds to lick. I do not even know my own feelings yet. I do not know if I can respond to this selfish kind of love of yours. I do not know if I love you… or if I want to love you", she concluded her short fervent speech, and stood breathless in the end, waiting for his reaction.

"But you told me yesterday that you might try and love me. Was that a lie?" His voice was pained.

"No, it was no lie. But I am not sure of my feelings, and I got carried away by the intensity of the moment we shared", she replied, trying to explain, but how could she make him comprehend something that she herself did not quite grasp?

"Oh… I see... I understand", he whispered and lowered his head, his gaze lost in sorrow.

His insides were torn, screaming for him to beg her to reconsider, to tell her that he did not love her selfishly, but he knew words could do little now. This was not a negotiation with an annoying emissary, and he would not manipulate her into giving him something she did not truly and freely wished to give.

Tauriel took a couple of steps towards him and lightly touched his forearm with her slender fingers. "I am sorry…"

He looked at her, tears rising in the corners of his eyes, and only nodded. She then walked past him, making for the door.

"I have to leave", she told him as she gripped the handle.

"Where will you go?"

"Back to Rivendell. I need time to clear my thoughts".

Thranduil nodded again solemnly. "I will miss you dearly, Captain".

"I am not a Captain. Not anymore".

She gave him a last glance, her final words cutting through him brutally and severing every connective cord between them. He looked frozen, utter despair drawn once more on his face.

The turning of the key in the lock and the low creak of the heavy wooden door marked her departure.

* * *

Late by one day, regarding her initial plans, Tauriel found herself in the stables by dawn. Her loyal mare was there, waiting for her patiently to fasten and secure the bag with her few belongings and supplies on her back.

The road she knew. She would have to follow the Old Forest Road on its western direction and out of the elven gate, ride then to the Old Ford at the Anduin's crossing, over the High Pass across the Misty Mountains and lastly into Rivendell. The journey she expected to be rather tiresome, as it was possible that she would be met with rain and wind at this time of the year, while the Misty Mountains would surely be covered in snow. However, she did not think it would take her more than a week to reach Rivendell.

Tauriel galloped away from the Elvenking's halls having a bitter taste in her mouth. It saddened her heart greatly to have shattered Thranduil's hopes, for she felt a measure of attraction and affection for him, but she could not lie to him or force herself to play a role she knew would not fit her. It would be better if she spent some time in peace and solitude, to clear her troubled mind and soothe her aching heart. The wisdom of the elves of Rivendell she would also seek. She remembered Arwen, the beautiful daughter of Elrond, who had also chosen to follow a difficult path in terms of love, for she had given her heart to a mortal man. And although the union of elf and man was not unheard of or especially frowned upon, it was not a flower-covered path to walk on.

Two solid hours of galloping and she had already reached a dense part of the forest she never particularly liked during her days as Captain in the Guard. She slowed her steed down to a trot, wishing to be more careful in her crossing. Torn webs of spiders lay here and there, and there was a heavy odor in the close air. Tauriel thought that things had gotten much worse in the later years. She had noticed the change when she rode into Mirkwood about two weeks ago, but the situation was now even worse. Did Thranduil do nothing to prevent the expanse of these horrible creatures? Soon his own halls would be crawling with spiders, and she could only imagine how bold the orcs of Dol Guldur must have become as well, when there was so sparse and weak defense on the elven side. Her brow furrowed in anger. _What are you doing, Thranduil? Is this how you are protecting your people? I would have expected better,_ she thought.

A suspicious rustling of the bushes to her left attracted her attention and forced her out of her musings. She brought her mare to a halt and swiftly dismounted. The rustling ceased, but Tauriel decided to investigate a little further. Drawing a dagger from her belt, she took a few cautious steps closer. Peeking behind the bush, it was with aversion that she saw a spiderling lying on its back and striving to get back on its legs.

She quickly buried her dagger in its belly, killing it. It died with a screech and in a puddle of black blood. _A spiderling!_ Tauriel thought. _This means there is a nest nearby, and so close to Thranduil's halls! What are the patrols doing if not destroying the nests?_

A whoosh and a hiss were the only things the elleth heard before she was brought down by a heavy weight, which descended on her from above. Tauriel cried in pain. How had she allowed herself to be caught off-guard?

Pinned on the ground she was by a giant spider. To her horror she saw the red spot on the underside of its belly, marking the creature as the mother of the nest. And an angry mother it was, hovering over the elleth with her teeth and claws ready to pierce her. Tauriel brought her dagger against the spider's head, injuring it and making it step back.

As soon as she was free, she jumped up and drew her second dagger as well. The spider attacked her again, managing a gash on Tauriel's calf. At that time heavy rustling was heard from all around, and as the former Captain dropped to her knee I pain, she saw dozens of spiderlings closing in on her. Cursing her rotten luck, she whirled around and quickly killed the first few that approached her.

Then the mother spider stroke again, aiming to get her with her poisonous sting. Tauriel avoided the fatal blow just in time, slashing all the way through the creature's belly as it jumped on her, and bathing herself in its rancid black blood. But, as the spider was about to drop dead, its sting grazed the elleth's shoulder, releasing some of its terrible content under her skin. Tauriel cried in pain, but she had little time for respite as more spiderlings came against her. She danced among them, killing one after the other, while her horse nearby was doing the same thing, stomping them with her heavy hooves. Soon most of the spiderlings were lying dead in circles around her and the rest of them scattered unter rock and bush.

But Tauriel was starting to feel the effect of the poison. A great fatigue and a desire to sleep came over her, while her head felt heavy and her shoulder stung with searing pain. She fell to her knees, breathing heavily. In a last effort she turned to her mare. "Go back… find… Thranduil… Go…" she whispered in agony and then collapsed on the moist soil of the woods.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Two very bored guards, one male and one female, were suddenly brought out of their stupor by the sound of hooves on rock. Now very alert, they hearkened to the sound and drew their bows, ready to release their arrows, if needed.

To their surprise, a lone horse appeared on the bridge that led to the halls of the Elvenking, but she bore no rider. The two elves rushed to the mare and tried to grab her reins and calm her down, but the steed would not cease her neighing and kicking.

"She is so upset! Hold her, Lanthiron!" the elleth said.

"I am trying, but she will not calm down. I think… I think she is trying to deliver a message to us", the ellon observed.

"Since she came bearing no rider and given her behavior, it would make sense…" she commented. Her keen eyes then turned to the mare's back. "What is that behind the saddle?" she asked and reached up, grabbing the small parcel.

The two guards looked at each other in suspicion.

"Isn't this Tauriel's mare? I saw her departing this morning, as I was coming here to take up duty", the ellon said, still struggling to control the horse.

"If what you are saying is true, then this must be her bag of belongings. And for the steed to rush back here so frantically, something bad must have happened", the elleth speculated.

"Take the bag then and go! Find the King and let him know of this. I will take the mare to the stables. Hurry!" he pushed the leather bag into his companion's hands, who nodded briefly. Then she turned and disappeared running behind the heavy doors.

* * *

Less than half an hour later, a small elven party consisting of five members – a healer among them – was galloping out of Thranduil's halls, carrying out his command to find and bring Tauriel back as soon as possible. The leader of the company rode on Tauriel's mare, hoping that she would find her way in the forest and lead them directly to the elf in peril.

Upon hearing these dire news, the King's face had turned grey in fear and worry. What had befallen Tauriel? Would the elves find her? What was it that the experienced Captain could not handle? Was she alive or dead?

Such questions were gnawing on Thranduil's mind, making him extremely anxious and restless. If only they found her alive… He would not be able to bear it if the guards brought back her dead body. He would have ridden out with the party, had this choice not looked so weird and unexpected, and Thranduil would have none gossiping falsehoods about him and the former Captain. He trusted his well-trained warriors to carry out their mission successfully. In the meantime, he paced around his chambers like a wild beast locked in a cage.

The Elvenking's agony lasted for several hours more, as it was afternoon when the party at last returned. Upon hearing of their arrival, he rushed to the front hall, and beheld the five-membered company, covered in filth and black spider-blood. The strongest of them was carrying Tauriel's limp body. Thranduil's heart was torn at the sight of her lying helpless and unconscious in the elf's arms. He approached and looked at her colorless face in horror.

"Spiders, my lord", her bearer explained. "Her shoulder is injured, she bears a mark of spider-sting there. We applied some athelas salve on it. We found her lying on the ground, not two hours from here, a little off the path. There were numerous dead spiderlings around her, as well as a mother spider. It was a nest, my lord. We put it to the torch".

Thranduil's fingers hovered over her face, wishing desperately to touch her and cradle her in his own arms. With great difficulty he restrained himself and withdrew his hand, balling it into a fist.

"Take her to the healing ward. Now!" he commanded and his deep voice boomed like a thunder and echoed in the vast cavernous halls.

The elven party nodded and murmured something like "Yes, my lord", and then hurried off to find the healers.

* * *

When Tauriel came round it was almost night. Her head was spinning, her mouth was dry and tasted like ash, and her shoulder hurt terribly. She opened her eyes wearily, trying to take in her surroundings.

She lay in a soft, warm cot. Her outer garments and boots had been removed, leaving her in the comfort of her loose tunic. Her body was covered with blankets and her head rested on a feathery pillow. The room was absolutely quiet and rather dark; only a small candle on her nightstand, safely tucked in a glass container, provided some light. There was a medicinal smell of herbs in the air. She immediately recognized the predominant fragrance of athelas. Tauriel realized, to her great relief, that she was in the healing ward of the Elvenking's halls.

And what of the Elvenking himself? If Tauriel turned her head to the left now, she would see him seated in a narrow and seemingly uncomfortable chair, his silver head leaning against the wall, as he dozed off while watching her and waiting for her to wake up. But the elleth tried to sit up, the wooden bed creaked under her movement and Thranduil jumped into alertness.

"Tauriel! You are awake!" he marveled, obviously relieved.

Startled, she turned her eyes to the direction of his voice. But the movement was too much of a strain, her shoulder ached and she was forced to fall back on the mattress.

"Easy now", he told her softly, as he reached and placed a protective hand under her head, cradling it.

"Thranduil?" she whispered, her voice hoarse.

"Worry not, dearest one. You are safe here", he soothed her and caressed her hair lightly before removing his hand.

"What happened? Eru, my head hurts", she mumbled.

Thranduil reached to the bedside table and poured her a glass of water. He offered it to her and she drank greedily.

"You bear a spider wound, Tauriel. Your right shoulder is injured, but it has been treated with athelas. The healers said you were quite lucky in your misfortune; the amount of poison released under your skin was small, and although it rendered you unconscious, it was not enough to kill you. They expect that you will recover fully within a week. The slash on your calf has been treated as well", he informed her.

The elleth sighed and nodded. "It could have been worse", she realized.

"Yes. It could have been a lot worse", he agreed.

"Where are the healers? What are you doing here?" she suddenly wondered.

"They are in the adjoining main room. I am here watching over you, Tauriel. Where else could I be?" he told her lovingly and gazed into her still clouded eyes.

Then, with some reluctance, he reached to touch her hand. Tauriel let him. She did not feel strong enough to fight him, and his touch was not unpleasant either. In fact, she welcomed the warm and intimate caress of his palm against hers. She let her fingers relax and entwine with his. This small movement produced a smile on Thranduil's lips.

"Thank you", the elleth whispered her gratitude.

"No, do not thank me. It was reckless of me to let you ride off on your own. I should have had a party accompany you. The forest has become very dangerous of late", Thranduil replied mournfully.

"You know I would never have acquiesced in that", she managed with a small grin. "But the spiders have grown too bold, my lord. That nest was merely off the path. I would never have imagined they would dare nest so close to the halls. I remember things being less awful fifty years ago".

"The infestation is becoming harder and harder to keep under control", the King admitted.

"What are you doing, Thranduil? You will be soon seeing spiders in your own chambers if you do nothing!" she chastised him, but the intensity of her outburst caused her a new headache.

For a moment he looked like a reprimanded elfling. "We rescheduled our patrol routes, even added some new ones", he explained. "But the Darkness grows, and the power of the elves is waning. I hold no ring of power, like Elrond and Galadriel, who keep their realms free of malice and taint with the help of Vilya and Nenya".

"Do not put the blame on the lack of a ring of power. You must fight with what you have!" she urged him, but a blinding pain, like a drum thrumming in her head, forced her into silence.

Thranduil saw her distress and got up. He walked to a table in the room, upon which a jar with fresh athelas brew sat. He poured some in a cup and returned to Tauriel's side and offered her the drink.

She smelled the liquid and smiled faintly. "Athelas…"

"Yes. Drink, it will help ease your aches".

"Not all of my aches", she murmured and then took a sip of the greenish draught.

Thranduil watched her as she drank. "Not all wounds can be healed by herbs".

"Or healed at all", she commented and turned her eyes to him.

He sighed and a moment of silence followed before he spoke again. "Come back to us, Tauriel. The Guard has missed its most spirited Captain", he pleaded.

The elleth regarded him and his words for a while, looking deep in thought.

"Here, you are needed. Rivendell will be alright without you. This is your home. It has always been your home", he went on.

"These halls are so full of memory… But I cannot go back. Not yet. Not until I have cleared my thoughts, Thranduil. If I take to living close to you, I will never be able to think freely, outside your influence. Please, try to understand", she begged of him in a small voice.

"I understand, dearest one. I only express my wish, but I seek to impose nothing on you. Your life and your decisions are your own. I could make you stay here, I could force you, but this would be a selfish kind of love, and you need to see that my love for you is not impure or tainted. Do as you please. Do what is best for you. Go back to Rivendell. I will be here, always. I am patient. I can wait".

Tauriel was profoundly pleased and moved by his words. She had not expected such wisdom to come out of the arrogant King's lips. To show her feelings of approval, she reached and lightly squeezed his hand. He immediately closed her small hand in his larger one, and kneeled by her bed. He looked in her eyes and saw that tears had gathered in their corners.

"Had you always been like this, I would have fallen for you long ago", Tauriel whispered her confession.

His gaze trembled, a torrent of emotions visible in it. "My own pride and jealousy often blind me, Tauriel. I deeply regret having allowed only my dark side to surface so far. And you have been the recipient of my anger often. Your boldness, your defiance, your sharp tongue always provoked me. But it is these qualities that had me fall for you in the first place. However, as I have told you before, I have been in denial of my own feelings for a long time. I thought it not possible to love again, or be loved. I considered myself unworthy of that… And then there was your friendship and affection towards my son. I could clearly see he had started to develop feelings for you… and I could not bear it. I would not have it. My selfish ways resulted in losing you both…" he concluded hopelessly.

"You have lost neither of us", she sought to reassure him with another small squeeze of his hand. "Do not lose hope, Thranduil. As long as we live, we fight… for everything we love", she said and her eyes glistened.

He looked at her deeply and she returned the look, and for a long moment they simply remained lost in each other.

Thranduil then bent over her and touched her brow with his lips. Tauriel closed her eyes and felt the familiar shudder coursing through her body once more. But then the touch was gone, as he drew back a little, much though he wished to linger.

"Thranduil…" the elleth whispered breathlessly, and her gaze traveled from his eyes to his lips.

"Oh Tauriel…" he breathed and leaned close again. "I am dying to kiss your lips, but I would not have you do something you may regret. I would not have you get carried away by the intensity of the moment again", he told her, trying with all his might to hold back and not ravish her mouth then and there.

Upon hearing his words something died inside Tauriel. A sudden despair took over her, and tears of sorrow brimmed in her eyes. But she knew he was right. She should not be carried away by the intensity of the moment. Those had been her very words, after all.

Instead of putting her thoughts into words, she lifted her hand to his face and cradled his cheek. Thranduil closed his eyes at the sensation and brought his own hand upon hers. Turning his face slightly, he placed a kiss in her palm.

"Rest now, dearest one. The essence of athelas will soon ease your pain. Sleep, and may your dreams be free of care and sorrow", he said and looked at her with love and longing.

"Thank you…" she said and truly meant it.

"I will return to you tomorrow".

He gave her hand a final kiss and a tender caress. With that, he stood and walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Tauriel was left alone in the solitude and quiet of the room. The healing properties of athelas had started making the pain in her shoulder number and her head feel lighter, as a sweet drowsiness came over her. She pulled the blankets tighter around her, wishing inwardly that it was Thranduil's embrace she lay in now.

* * *

The Elvenking returned to his own quarters with his heart overwhelmed with emotion and his head overflowing with thoughts.

It was well past midnight now and the wind was howling outside. Thunder rumbled in the distance. It would not be long before heavy rain started falling in Mirkwood, but Thranduil could not be bothered by the bad weather. His heart was singing.

Tossing away his robes, he climbed into his bed, while thoughts of his talk with Tauriel danced in his mind. She had wanted to kiss him. For the first time he saw real affection and emotion in her eyes. She had not wanted him to leave, he knew that. Eru, she truly had wanted to kiss him! Oh, how he wished he could stay and take her in his arms, love her and keep her safe forever!

A sigh escaped his lips. He would have to wait. If Tauriel loved him, if she truly wanted him, she would return to him when she was ready. He would by no means rush into anything, simply to relish the joy of the moment, only to regret it forever afterwards. He would have hated it if they had allowed themselves to kiss, and the next day Tauriel came to him and said it had been a mistake. No, it was better that nothing of the sort had happened.

He would have the privilege of seeing her for a week more. He would make sure she healed properly, and then, when the time came, he would have riders accompany her out of Mirkwood. He would not make the same mistake twice.

Thoughts of his darkened forest came now to his mind. The infestation was nearly out of control, Tauriel had been right. What more could he do about it? Thranduil wondered. If only Tauriel returned to her old post as Captain in the Guard! They would all benefit much from her sharp mind, her fiery spirit and effective planning. But for the moment he would have to make do without her. If she returned someday, the Elvenking wished it to be on her own accord.

But the forest, _his_ forest, suffered greatly. And he suffered in turn. The Elvenking and the forest, which had come to be called Mirkwood in the later years, were tied and bound to each other. When one ached, the other ached as well. Could it be that his own emotional distress was reflected on the forest? He pondered that for a second before coming to the conclusion that it undoubtedly was. The sourer, colder and more desperate Thranduil became, the darker and more dangerous became the forest. Perhaps, if he tried to focus on positive thoughts and deeds, his forest would benefit as well. _Yes, I can try that_ , the Elvenking thought. _Too long I have let the Shadows rule my soul and my forest. No more._

Of course, this was much easier said than done. For, no matter how hopeful he now felt, due to the recent pleasant exchange with the former Captain, Thranduil had become a darkened creature, whose spirit had been touched by the hand of Morgoth and it would forever be tainted. Shadows lurked in his heart, and he could never forget the horrors of his life. This was a truth he could never escape or alter.

The Elvenking was suddenly overcome with the desire to see his son again. If Legolas was here, perhaps the forest and its people could breathe again. Tauriel had mentioned that it was in his plans to pay a visit to his homeland sometime soon, though the exact time was unspecified. The King longed to see his only son again, gone for more than fifty years now. He longed to hear of his tales and experiences and of what he had learned of the world beyond Mirkwood, a world which Thranduil himself had frowned upon long ago.

Surely the young ellon would be much changed now. Thranduil had always been able to see that his son was different. He belonged not with the past and what was already broken and damaged, but with the future. A great path lay before him, a path that perhaps was still hidden, but Thranduil knew it in his heart that Legolas would find it soon and follow his destiny, even if that meant that he had to be parted from his father forever.

If he himself belonged with the past, and Legolas belonged with the future, where did Tauriel belong? The King wondered, and thoughts of the two young elves from the times they fought as one against evil rose unbidden in his mind. Perhaps she lay somewhere in the middle. Perhaps she was something like a link between past and future. She belonged with the present. She lived every moment for what it was, giving her all to it.

But what if his son still harbored romantic feelings for the former Captain? Tauriel had told him that she had met with Legolas in Rivendell some time ago. Eru knows what transpired between them during Legolas' stay there. Fear, suspicion and dark thoughts suddenly gripped the Elvenking's heart. What was he to do if father and son loved the same elleth?

He certainly wished to hurt his boy no more. Legolas had suffered enough disappointment and coldness on his father's behalf. When he chose to return, Thranduil was determined to do his best to show him his love and care, although he knew that it would never be enough to make up for all these centuries of lack of affection and interest in his own son.

Of course, it was not true that Thranduil did not love Legolas. His heart bled for him, but he never allowed it to show openly. Devastated by grief after the loss of his beloved wife, he turned to seclusion and isolation. Legolas was the first and most important victim of his father's depression, which made him aloof and cold. Thranduil was always like that towards him, and the young ellon had no idea how his father had been before his mother's death, so in time he resorted to believing that this was the truth of Thranduil's character, and sought no more than he gave, while bitterness and resentment nestled in his sensitive youthful heart.

But what was he to do if Legolas indeed still felt for Tauriel? Would he be able to abandon hope of finding love again, or would he stand against his own son? That dilemma plagued Thranduil and robbed him of sleep. He could only pray to the Valar it would never come to that.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

True to his word, Thranduil visited Tauriel in her room in the healing ward by midday, as soon as he was done with the meeting of the council and the rest of his daily obligations. He found her sitting on the bed with her back propped on pillows, having lunch. Said lunch was nothing great, just a generous bowl of vegetable soup and a slice of bread.

"How are you today, dearest one?" he asked her while taking a seat by the bed, occupying the sole chair that stood there.

She lifted her face from the bowl and smiled. "I am feeling better. Thank you, my lord".

He nodded, looking pleased. "This is not much of a meal, though", he commented somewhat playfully.

"The healers are quite strict. They will not let me have anything else for now. They say I should limit myself to consuming soup and not anything heavier, lest I put a strain on my system's healing process", Tauriel replied and took another sip of her soup.

"I see. Well, apparently it is their job to know these things better. I am only concerned for your well-being, Tauriel".

"I know", she told him softly and smiled. "Have you had anything to eat yourself? It is high noon".

"Not yet, but I will see to it later. I am not really hungry now", he replied in a rather dismissive tone.

She raised an elegant eyebrow and eyed him suspiciously. "Do you mean that you preferred to come here and see me first, neglecting your needs?"

"I am not neglecting my needs", he told her with fervor and looked in her eyes intently.

She then understood the meaning of his words and a faint blush came upon her cheeks. Upon seeing her reaction, the Elvenking smiled.

"I could get used to these rosy cheeks", he told her with a smirk.

"Are you teasing me, my lord?" she asked him in mock seriousness.

Thranduil let out a soft chuckle. "Would it be terrible if I did, a little?"

"No, it would not. But do not get ahead of yourself. I am still returning to Rivendell", she sought to remind him.

He sat back in the chair and sighed. "I know. I wish you stayed, though".

"We may wish for many things, but only few of them come to pass", she commented solemnly and put the bowl aside.

Thranduil thought on her words. They carried some undeniable wisdom.

"What do you wish for, dearest one?"

"I wish… I wish for peace. For evil to be defeated once and for all".

"This will never be", he said in a grave tone.

"Why are you so pessimistic? Surely the Dark Lord can be overthrown. It has been done so before".

"Yes, he may be overthrown… And he may lie in quiet, hidden in the shadows for a time. But sooner or later he will stir again from his slumber; he will seek to regain power and gather about him all those loyal to him. Such is the nature of evil. So it ever was… So will it always be", Thranduil spoke, and his voice was dark and foreboding.

"You have lived long, and have seen so much. But is this resignation I hear in your voice, Thranduil? Tell me, since when did we allow evil to become stronger than us?" Tauriel retorted.

He looked in her eyes that were burning with passion, two orbs of liquid fire. How he loved her for her fiery spirit! But Tauriel was young, and she knew little.

"I admire your passion, and your loyalty to the fair cause. I have fought against evil, and it rose again. And again I fought, and again it rose. Our people waged war against evil countless times, and every time evil found a way to return. I have seen this circle repeat itself so many times, Tauriel, that I no longer believe evil can be defeated once and for all. Ever it will rise with renewed strength", he spoke in a resolute tone.

"Strong it may be, but we are stronger still", she insisted.

"Have you learned nothing from Elrond?" he scolded her with a sad smile. "The time of the elves is ending. Our kin is slowly sailing to the Undying Lands. One by one they are leaving these shores. Who will be left behind to confront the Enemy?"

"There are not only the firstborn on this Middle Earth, Thranduil! Men will fight, and dwarves even!" she cried.

"Men? Dwarves? They are weak. They will never be able to stand against the amassing hordes of Sauron. His great malice will sweep through them like the wind sweeps the fallen leaves", he dismissed her words with arrogance in his tone and a casual wave of his hand.

Tauriel was angered. "What do you propose, then? That we do nothing? That we sit enclosed in these halls and live our lives not in light but in darkness?"

"We can wait out the war. Our lives are immortal. We have time, and patience. Why waste more elven blood when we can spare it all? The fortunes of the world may rise and fall, but here, in this kingdom, we will endure", he replied sternly.

Tauriel's eyes narrowed and her mouth was drawn into a thin line. "I was mistaken. You have not changed. You are the same arrogant, selfish, cold and distanced creature you have ever been".

Thranduil was shocked. He had not expected such a retort. He felt as if her words had scorched his flesh. "Tauriel…" he uttered.

"I will hear no more, Thranduil. I belong to this world, and I will fight for it. If you choose to hide and lurk in the shadows, like a worm hides in the soil, then go ahead and do it. I will not stop you. I just will not be there beside you", she shot her words like arrows at him. And they found their target, for they wounded the Elvenking's pride. "And now please leave me be".

He was stunned in silence for a brief moment, but then he recomposed himself, allowing the familiar icy façade to cover his true feelings and thoughts. Without uttering another word, he rose to his full height and then turned and exited the room.

* * *

The rest days of Tauriel's recovery were rather uneventful. On the third day, the healers allowed her to return to her private chambers and to resume eating regular food. By the end of the week she was able to hold her bow and daggers without her shoulder giving her any serious discomfort. A potion of athelas she would drink daily, to totally eradicate the traces of poison in her blood.

No meeting between her and Thranduil had occurred, for they were both very bitter after their latest and unfortunate conversation in the healing ward. Fate had it, however, that their parted ways would be joined again the last night before Tauriel's departure.

Against her better judgment, the elleth ventured towards the King's chambers. Something was gnawing inside her, making her restless. So far she had avoided every place Thranduil used to go often, lest she ran into him. But tonight her feet drove her near his quarters, moving as if on their own accord.

She paced on the marble floor of the corridor, her soft boots swallowing the sound of her steps. A lantern was lit far above her head, providing the causeway with some yellowish light. As she was about to turn behind a corner, she saw a rather disheveled Thranduil approaching, holding a bottle in his hand. She froze in her step, and so did he.

"Tauriel…" he breathed. "What are you doing here so late at night?"

"Sleep would not come to me... I thought a walk might help clear my thoughts", she responded rather stiffly.

"How would a walk to my chambers help you? I thought you had placed your hopes in Rivendell", he told her bitterly, sarcasm palpable in his voice, and made to walk past her.

"I will be returning there tomorrow. Worry not, my lord. I will not tarry in your halls much longer", she spoke to his back, deliberately lining her tone with sarcasm as she spoke of his title.

He paused and exhaled soundly. Then he turned to look at her from over his shoulder. She was looking right back at him.

"I see that you have healed completely. For that, I am glad". His tone had softened a little.

"Yes, I am fine. But you do not look as good yourself. Have you been drinking? You certainly smell of wine", Tauriel observed.

"What concern of yours is it whether I have been drinking or not? I believe I can do whatever I wish", he retorted gruffly.

"I thought you wanted me to concern myself with your highness", she replied in similar tones. She would not let him have it his way.

"I do not want some mock care and interest! I want you to love me!" he shouted, and his voice reverberated in the vastness of the caverns around them.

Tauriel shuddered at the force of his words and took a step backwards, her eyes wide open but trained on his.

"I want you to love me", he repeated, but his voice had fallen to a whisper now, and he hung his head.

"Thranduil…" Tauriel started softly and stepped closer to him. He lifted his eyes to hers. "You disappointed me yet again last time we spoke. I had hoped you had truly changed".

"Woe to me! What a disappointment I am!" he let out a cry of fake despair and spread his arms. The he brought the bottle to his lips, wishing to drink himself into oblivion.

Tauriel looked at him in sadness and disapproval. "Will you put that bottle down? The wine will not solve your problems nor will it alter the situation as it is".

"What concern of yours is it, may I repeat, my lady?"

"Of course it is. I do care for you, you fool", she said in a small voice and touched his arm with her hand.

Thranduil's mask of anger broke. His brow twitched and his eyes glistened with tears he fought to hold back.

"Do not give me hope where there is none", he told her in a deep, trembling voice.

"There is always hope", Tauriel said and let her hand glide down his arm until it met his. The Elvenking was holding his breath. "Forgive me for being so bitter and harsh with you. My temper often gets the best of me and I forget what you have been through, what shaped you into who you are. You are far from perfect, but so am I, and so is everyone. I only wish you could allow a few rays of sunlight into your life. Then perhaps everything would not seem so bleak and hopeless", she told him in a breathy voice, while her eyes shone with an inner light. Thranduil felt drawn into their depths.

"You are my sunlight, Tauriel. Help me out of my darkness. Make me find purpose and meaning in life. Heal me. Mend my broken heart. Please…" he cried and his voice broke, while he squeezed her hands in his.

Tauriel's heart went out for him, and a tear ran down her cheek. She did not respond, only brought her body close to his and reached to touch his cheek. "I do not know if I can do what you ask of me. I do not know what the future holds. And I do not even know if we can leave the past behind. We have hurt each other greatly. But perhaps I can set all grievances aside for this very moment. For right now I want to be here with you, and nowhere else".

Her head was tilted upwards, the pupils of her eyes were dilated, and her lips were ever so slightly parted in anticipation. Thranduil saw her readiness and brought his arms around her, drawing her even closer, so that their bodies touched fully in the front. He felt her shiver and tremble as one hand of his descended to the small of her back, while the other came to rest at the nape of her neck, cradling her head. He bent his face over hers, hovering for a second. His state of mind having been affected by the wine, Thranduil felt his resolve slowly weakening, his walls of defense collapsing. "Tauriel…" he said breathlessly, and then finally closed that small remaining distance between them, touching the corner of her lips with his, a measure of reluctance still evident in his moves.

Tauriel shivered again as she felt the smallest of a touch of his lips upon hers. Like a soft and uncertain caress it was, like a strange visitor who still lingers on the doorstep, not knowing if he is welcome or not. She sensed his tension and hesitation, and softly brushed her lips against his, inviting him to abandon every restraint, seeking to chase away his insecurity.

Every last inch of Thranduil's body instantly jolted into alertness, screaming for him to make her his at the very moment. Upon receiving the welcoming signals, his lips claimed hers in an unprecedented passion and an unquenchable thirst. Tauriel accepted him eagerly and sought to deepen the kiss by bringing her hands on his shoulders and behind his head, fingers threading through his silken silver hair and pulling his head down on hers. A hunger and a need awoke in the elleth's body, and she could not have enough of Thranduil's mouth. It tasted of wine primarily, but there was also something else, something deeper, something intangible and indefinable, something that was purely _Thranduil_.

In a daze, the Elvenking ravished the former Captain's mouth under the faint yellowish light of the corridor lantern, which shone like a lone star above them. Their shadows danced and played on the wall, mimicking their moves and passion. The ellon hugged the elleth's body tightly against his, lighting a fire everywhere they touched.

"Thranduil…" Tauriel whispered out of breath, and looked into the abysmal ice of his eyes before joining her lips with his once more.

Their second kiss was slower than the first but not lesser in passion, as the new lovers now took their time to explore and taste each other to the fullest. Thranduil touched and caressed the soft curls of flame that was her hair before cradling her head again, now trailing his kiss down to her jawline and up to the tip of her elven ear. He licked and nibbled at the sensitive earlobe, and Tauriel moaned in his embrace. Her hands crept beneath his heavy cloak, touching the strong muscles of his back from above the soft fabric of his tunic. She then let her caress slide daringly lower, over the curve of his back and upon the slight swell of his bottom. Thranduil growled low in his throat at her bold move, his own passion having been set ablaze. Instinctively, he thrust his hips forward, seeking to grind his eager hardness against her body. The elleth allowed and welcomed the sensation, encouraging the friction even further by making use of her leverage on his backside. The Elvenking's hands slid down to her hips, caressing and squeezing her gentle curves and pushing her into him, both dancing in perfect synchronization this primordial dance of passion and seduction.

The intensity of the moment was driving both lovers mad with lust and need, but Thranduil was the first to find his breath and speak.

"Tauriel… what are we doing?" he panted, still holding her tight.

"I think you know very well what we are doing…" she replied coyly.

"We… We are getting carried away by the intensity of the moment". Thranduil deliberately used Tauriel's words that had become something like a red flag between them.

She looked into his eyes and drew back a little, suddenly feeling shame for her own lack and loss of control over her body.

"Yes, you are right…" she agreed, her eyes never leaving his, though. "We had better stop before we tread on dangerous paths".

"We are already treading on dangerous paths, my love", he told her, while his gaze lingered on her swollen lips.

She caught his gaze and inadvertently brought her fingers to her lips. His soft but lustful smile caused her to blush and lower her eyes.

"You look so beautiful, Tauriel. I could gaze at you for all my endless years, and then some".

She looked up at him and a smile graced her features. "I am still angry at you, mind you", she tried to speak in a serious tone but failed miserably.

Thranduil chuckled, and she found that she loved the sound of his so rare laughter. "If being angry at me results in you kissing me so fervently, then by all means be angry at me every day", he teased her.

"Thranduil…" she said again in a more serious tone this time. He noticed the change in her demeanor and granted her his full attention. "What happened here, tonight, between us… It does not change anything. It-"

"How can you say it does not change anything?" he interrupted her. "It _does_ change something", he insisted.

"Perhaps it does change a bit the ground we stand on, but still…" she hesitated.

"What do you mean to tell me? Speak", he urged her impatiently.

"I am still leaving in the morning".

"I hoped you might stay after… this", Thranduil complained.

"I know you want me to stay. But I cannot. I need time to investigate into my own feelings", she explained.

Irritation started to rise in Thranduil at her hesitation and doubt. "Surely you must feel something for me. You are not Edain, to be driven simply by lust. So there must be something deeper. Why are you running from your own feelings, Tauriel? Is the prospect of loving me so terrible, so despicable to you still?" he spoke in disappointment.

"I have told you a hundred times, I do not know! Do not press me to admit something that I am not sure is even there!" she cried.

Thranduil was embittered once more, once again feeling rejected by Tauriel. How she managed to push him from the highest peak to the deepest dungeon in the blink of an eye he could not explain. The flame of anger and retaliation was then ignited in him.

"So what, then? Did you just take advantage of my feelings for you to slake your sudden lust? Did you just use me to gain some fleeting satisfaction and to forget about that _dead dwarf_ of yours? Was it him you were thinking of, when only minutes ago you were more than willing to toss away your clothes and surrender your body to me?" he shouted and glared at her, leaning closer as he spoke.

An impulsive hard slap across his face utterly startled Thranduil and commanded him into silence. Tauriel stood appalled by his short speech, her face distorted in rage and disgust.

"How dare you insult Kili's memory! That was it, Thranduil. I will stand for no more of this!" she said in a voice that trembled with fury and indignation, raising a threatening finger against him. "I was fooled. There is only darkness and spite in your icy heart. You deserve nothing! No second chances. May your forest burn and you burn with it!" she cursed him with heavy words and turned away, feeling profoundly insulted and hurt. She walked away in a fast pace and her figure was quickly swallowed by the shadows of the corridor.

Thranduil stood as if thunderstruck, unable to move a finger. His heart fluttered and ached, suddenly feeling all hope deserting him. She had taken too great an insult, he could see that now, but the words she cursed him with outright shocked him.

But perhaps she was right. Perhaps he was deserving of a death in fire. Perhaps he should have died in fire long ago.

Never again had the wish of death felt so appealing to the Elvenking.

* * *

It was a cold morning in late autumn when Tauriel left for Rivendell, accompanied by three riders. Heavy grey clouds gathered above Erebor in the north, heralding the oncoming storm. A chill wind was blowing, bearing the smell of moist soil. The darkened rays of sunlight came through the trembling boughs of the trees and fell upon the ground like thorns.

The Elvenking stood in grave resplendence, his dark silver cloak reflecting the light. Silver, too, was his crown, while his garb was in the hues of black and grey. Solemn and magnificent he looked in his royal attire, but his bearing would be more fitting for a funeral, for he seemed so deeply troubled and brooding.

Tauriel gave him not even one last look of goodbye, not even for the sake of formality, even though his eyes were constantly trained on her. Their parting was bitter and wordless, although both their hearts cried and bled with unspoken truths and deep longings.

She spurred her steed forward, the last and only words of his valediction echoing in her head:

"Farewell, Captain. May your journey be safe and your heart true".


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

In the year 3000 of the Third Age of the sun, Legolas returned to his father's halls in Mirkwood.

The Prince's arrival was announced to the King with haste and gladness by the guards. Thranduil's heart leapt in joy upon hearing this news, for he had been long awaiting his son's return.

And now there he was, his little elfling, standing before his father's antlered throne. A faint smile graced his face, while his eyes bore a wisdom that had not been there in the past. He was clad in Mirkwood's garb, but he bore the grey mantle of the Dunedain. His loyal bow and daggers hung from his shoulder, and his hair was long and partially tied on the back of his head.

While he had been waiting for him to appear in the throne room, Thranduil had pondered on the kind of reception he should give his son. Should he be cold and formal or warm and welcoming? What would the young ellon expect? What would he wish for? Would he still harbor feelings of resentment towards his father? Their parting on Ravenhill, now a good fifty-nine years ago, had been short and rather bitter. Thranduil did not want their relationship to continue in the same manner, but what would Legolas' opinion on the matter be?

One thing the Elvenking was certain about: he could not afford losing his son a second time. With Tauriel gone for five years now, he was his last and only hope.

In the end, Thranduil had decided for an approach that lay somewhere in-between formality and overwhelming affection, thinking that it would be best not to risk anything and let Legolas lead the course of their reunion.

There he stood, the young Prince gazing at his father, who wore a crown of winter twigs upon his silver head and robes of deep blue. In his hand he held his carven staff of oak. His face was solemn and quiet, his expression calm and thoughtful. How little he had changed, Legolas thought and smiled to himself.

"The Woodland Realm is joyous to welcome back its Prince!" the King announced as he stood from his imposing seat and slowly descended the stairs. A round of applause and cheer followed his words, as the gathered crowd welcomed their Prince.

Legolas smiled brightly, his heart warmed by the love of his people, who had clearly missed him. The Prince had always been loved by the woodland elves for his gentle heart and strength of character.

"Thank you, my King and father. I am glad to return to the place of my birth", he responded in a voice deep with emotion, as he took a reluctant step forward.

Thranduil came and stood right in front of Legolas, tears welling up in his eyes at the sight of his only son within his grasp, tears he desperately fought to hold back. He brought his hand above the place of his heart and extended it to the Prince, while bowing his head slightly.

Legolas observed his father's stance and demeanor and saw clearly his distress and struggle to appear formal and hold back his tears. "Ada…!" he whispered, and in the next moment threw himself in the arms of the Elvenking, disregarding all rules of elven etiquette and custom.

Thranduil stood surprised, but soon he brought his arms around his son, holding him protectively. Legolas rested his head against his father's shoulder, unable to withhold his own tears of emotion.

The Elvenking brought his hand behind the young ellon's head and held it softly. "Ion nin…" he whispered hoarsely, "I have missed you". A tear ran down his cheek.

"And I you", Legolas responded as he drew back a little from his father's embrace and smiled.

Thranduil returned the smile, feeling his heart lighter and his hope renewed.

"Welcome home", he said, and the crowd cheered again at the sight of their reunited lords.

* * *

Hours later and safe from prying eyes, father and son stood on the balcony of the Prince's quarters, which were located close to the King's. It was a rather mild wintery evening, and the two ellyn had just enjoyed dinner together.

Turning to his son, Thranduil was the first to speak.

"I had expected you a couple of years earlier", he started.

Legolas eyed him with curiosity, but then he remembered. "I see. I had told Tauriel so, back when we met in Rivendell, and it had been my hope that I would be able to come to the Woodland Realm earlier, but, alas, it was not possible".

A stinging pain awoke in the Elvenking's heart upon hearing of the elleth's name. She had not returned since she had fled back to Rivendell five years ago. No news. Nothing. However, he concealed his inner pain from his son's eyes.

"I am glad beyond words to have you back, Legolas".

"I know, father", he quietly responded.

"Have you forgiven me, son?" the Elvenking's voice trembled with emotion.

The Prince was quite startled by this unforeseen sentimentality. "I have forgiven you long ago, father. It was the only way for me to go on and find my purpose in life. I could not stay back, chained by the past. Now, it is all different. I am not who I was", he replied in solemn wisdom.

Thranduil marveled at his son. Truly, within him he saw all these qualities that he himself lacked, qualities that Legolas had inherited from his mother.

"But have _you_ managed to leave the past behind, father?" The young ellon's eyes turned to his father in concern.

The Elvenking gazed far away, over the tree-tops in the distance. The silver light of the moon made the naked, frozen branches glisten under it.

"The past is carved in my _fea_ , Legolas. I will never be free of it, no matter how much I may wish to", he responded grimly.

Legolas' face saddened. "The world is changing, father. The First and Second Ages are well behind us. The Dark Lord is searching for the One Ring relentlessly. Soon we will all be called to play our part in this huge tide of events that will reshape the world. The Third Age is drawing to a close. How can you still linger in times of yore?"

Thranduil's sorrowful eyes returned to his son. "I have lost so much in these times of yore you speak of. You know them only through lore and narration, but I lived in those times, Legolas. I have seen the horror of the Shadow and cannot forget it. You are young still and a great path lies before you, but I will remain here, in this kingdom, until the ending of times".

"Will you do nothing? You are the King of the Woodland Realm, with a great host at your disposal. Will you do nothing until war has reached your doorstep?" There was obvious disappointment in the Prince's voice.

Thranduil paced away from his son, clasping his hands behind his back. He stood with his head slightly bent and sighed. Both Tauriel and Legolas urged him to wake from his lethargy and fight. Could it be that they were perchance right?

His silence spoke to Legolas far more eloquently than any words could have. "I see", he said. "I truly wish you saw beyond the veil of your own grief and misery, father. But I still do trust to hope that when the time is come, you will do what is right".

"You have grown wise, my son", said Thranduil, deeply moved. "Wise and brave, like your mother".

Legolas had not expected his mother to be brought up in conversation, as he remembered that Thranduil never spoke of her. His brow twitched and his eyes softened.

"You never spoke of her…" the young ellon breathed. "Why, father? At times I came to think that perhaps you did not love her that much", he dared.

Thranduil's face contorted in sudden rage. "How dare you voice such assumptions!" Legolas shrank back under his father's wrath. "I loved your mother more than you can ever possibly imagine. The pain of her loss has ever been so profound, that I dared not touch it. It has ever been too much to be put into words. I held her loss hidden deep within my heart, and dared not disturb her rest, lest I was burned again from inside out". His voice fell to a whisper in the end, a tear making its way down on his face.

Legolas stood stunned in silence. It was the first time his father had spoken so openly to him about his mother's death, and he was not sure how to respond to his plight.

Although he had been only an elfling at the time of Lothrin's demise, the Prince remembered very well how the commanders had brought back his father's ruined body. Lord Elrond had been accompanying him, and he had been the one who had taken little Legolas aside, shielding his childish eyes from the horror of Thranduil's burns, and he had been the one to tell him that his mother was not among them anymore.

"Ada…" he started reluctantly and approached the other ellon. Thranduil turned his teary eyes to his son, all rage gone from him now. Only anguish and sorrow remained. "I did not know. Had you spoken to me earlier, much grief and ill will between us would have been avoided".

"Forgive me, son. Always have I been so blinded by my own misery and pain that I failed to see the wonderful son who stood by my side. Late did my eyes open to the truth, when you were gone from me and I was left all alone in the cage of desolation and despair I myself had forged. Oh, how I have wished for your forgiveness over the long years! How I have wished you were returned to me in gladness!" the Elvenking cried.

"But I am returned to you father, and I have forgiven you", said Legolas and gripped his father by the shoulders. "Set aside the grievances of the past. Whatever is done cannot be undone, but the future awaits us. Let us rejoice this evening, for we are at long last reunited, and the woes of the world may be silenced and kept at bay for now".

"You are right, ion nin. No more talk of the past, no more talk of pain and death. I would rather hear you tell me of your experiences in the world beyond".

"Gladly, father. But first let us retreat inside, for the night is cold and I have missed a homely fire and a soft pillow".

Thranduil smiled and nodded in agreement, as the two elves left the balcony and walked inside. Soon they were both seated in plush armchairs by the fireplace.

"I have been told that you met Aragorn, son of Arathorn…" Thranduil started.

"Yes. I did as you told me, father. I went north and found the Dunedain. Rangers of the north the rest of the folk calls them. They lead a simple life, bereft of riches and wealth, but for their great legacy as descendants of the fallen kingdom of Arnor. Their skills in combat and knowledge of the wilds impressed me, and much I traveled with them. Men are born with a natural resilience, resourcefulness and adaptability that we will never achieve, father. We elves are used to certain ways and do not deviate from them greatly. Even our different cultures – Noldor, Sindar or Nandor – are not so unlike each other. But the civilizations of men differ greatly, and they change so fast with time, while ours remain eternal and unchanged with the passing of the years", Legolas narrated. His father was listening to him with an interested and pleased look upon his face.

"It is so, as you speak, son", he agreed. "Eru Iluvatar saw differently to his children, for each race was to fulfill its own purpose, and to this purpose each race was presented with different Gifts".

Legolas nodded, and then leaned slightly forward in his chair, a more intense look descending upon his brow. "The time of men is coming, father. Aragorn is Elendil's heir. His legacy lies in wait for him. Gondor in the south awaits the return of the King".

Thranduil nodded. "I have since long known of his heritage. Fostered in Rivendell he was in his childhood years by Elrond Peredhel. The lord of Imladris spoke to me of Aragorn long ago. I knew. This is why I sought to set you on this certain path, when you announced to me that you were leaving", he spoke and wisdom gleamed in the depths of his eyes.

"It is thanks to you, father, that I was able to find my path and purpose, to find out who I really am", Legolas said and his gaze trembled with emotion.

"Never doubt that I have always cared for you, Legolas. Even in our most bitter moments, I loved you dearly", Thranduil said and his voice was deep and velvety.

Legolas smiled and nodded, his eyes glistening with tears. "If only you knew, father, how long I have wished to hear such words coming from you. For years and years I was led to believe I was nothing but a burden and a disappointment to you", the Prince spoke in a voice full of sorrow and complaint.

"This has never been true, Legolas. I should have cherished you, I should have shown you affection… I should not have allowed you to become a victim of my own selfish ways", Thranduil lamented.

"It is alright now. We agreed to talk no more of the bitter past, did we not?" Legolas tried to recompose himself.

"Yes, you are right", the Elvenking said, and then looked around as if searching for something. "Is there no wine in these chambers?"

"You wish for wine, father?" the Prince asked.

Thranduil cast his gaze low and sighed. "I fear it has become my sole companion, Legolas".

The young ellon's heart bled for his father's solitude and loneliness. It must have been very difficult for him to remain all alone, with no one close to his heart, Legolas thought. But, on the other hand, Thranduil's fate was of his own doing.

"It is an oddity to see you so remorseful now, ada. You have always been strong and stern, cold, and distant even. What happened to you and you changed?" the Prince inquired.

"I was fed the fruit of my actions, and it had a sour taste. I regret so much, Legolas. I regret hurting you and Tauriel". The Elvenking's voice was almost a whisper, and his gaze lost and unfocused, as memories flooded his thought.

"Tauriel? I would not imagine you would ever concern yourself with her", Legolas spoke in mild surprise.

 _Oh, if only you knew son_ , thought Thranduil in irony. "I did concern myself with her. Did you forget that I had saved her when she was still an elfling, and that she grew up under my care? Of course I concerned myself with her. I am concerned still. Have you mayhap seen her, these five years since your meeting in Rivendell?" he asked with suppressed hope in his tone.

"As a matter of fact, I have, during a visit of mine and Aragorn's in Rivendell, two years ago", Legolas replied.

"Well? How is she?" Thranduil asked impatiently.

Legolas noticed the anxiety in his father's demeanor. Why was suddenly Tauriel's fate so important to him?

"She is alright, father, although a bit sorrowful I may say. She serves in lord Elrond's personal guard now, and she has become friends with Arwen. I even heard Elladan fancies her", Legolas said with some amusement in his tone.

In utter contrast, Thranduil became sullen when he heard of Tauriel's possible romantic interest.

"Is that so?" he tried to sound indifferent. "And what of you, son? Are you not jealous of Elladan? I remember you were very fond of Tauriel once", Thranduil asked, putting to use his trustworthy manipulative methods. It would surely do no harm to present things in this way and learn what he was dying to know.

"Jealous? No. I have long abandoned all thought of Tauriel and myself sharing a common future. I know her heart lies elsewhere", Legolas replied and smiled faintly.

Thranduil was now sitting on hot coals, and slightly shifted in his chair. "What do you mean by elsewhere? Is she in love with Elladan?"

"I am not sure. She was not keen on answering me when I playfully tossed at her the question about Elladan's affection. But I remember her eyes had darkened with sorrow and memory, although she refused to answer me. Perhaps she still mourns for Kili, father. I know not", Legolas responded in uncertainty.

"Yes, perhaps…" Thranduil said absent-mindedly and his voice trailed off, as his thoughts wandered off to the audacious red-haired elleth, whose slave he had become willingly. Perhaps it was not Elladan or even Kili that she was thinking of, but himself… A small ray of hope crept inside the Elvenking's heart, and, although it was a fool's hope, he allowed it to nestle.

"But father, I have not yet told you the best of news", Legolas suddenly said in an entirely different tone.

"Hm?" Thranduil's interest was suddenly picked again and he returned his attention to his son.

"I have someone I care for", Legolas said, bliss written all over his youthful features.

"Oh!" the Elvenking exclaimed at this unexpected news. "Who is she, then? An elf of Rivendell, I guess?"

"You guess correctly, father. I first met her five years ago, in late summer of the year 2995, when I journeyed to Rivendell to seek Elrond's counsel about the growing darkness", the Prince responded.

"I see… It was when you met Tauriel and asked her to go to Mirkwood, if I am not mistaken", Thranduil observed.

"Yes, exactly", Legolas said and nodded in affirmation.

"Tell me now of this sweet lady of yours. What is her name?" asked Thranduil with genuine interest.

"Lossendis, father. She is of mixed Noldorin and Silvan descent, but her parents have ever dwelled in Rivendell. Her father is a counsellor and a friend of Elrond's, her mother is a most skilled healer, and Lossendis herself is a scholar in Rivendell's great library. She is nearly eight hundred years old, very beautiful, with hair as black as night and eyes grey as the pale winter morn… and she is wise beyond her years", Legolas narrated in an almost dreamy voice.

"Very well. And does she return your feelings?" the Elvenking asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I have come to understand that she does…" the Prince responded with a smirk and a playful gleam in his bright blue eyes.

"Excellent. I am glad for you, my son. You deserve happiness and prosperity in your life". Thranduil was really happy for his son, and even happier he was made by the definitive removal of the possibility of father and son being rivals over Tauriel's affection.

"What? No lecture of disapproval of the lowly Silvan or the hated Noldor? You disappoint me, father!" Legolas said and laughed merrily, his eyes twinkling like stars.

Thranduil smiled and even let out a soft chuckle himself. "No… No more such talks. What matters is your happiness, and only that, be it with whomever you choose. But I do not promise I would be as lenient, had you brought a dwarven bride before me!" the Elvenking said with a raised thick eyebrow, in an attempt to sound amusing.

Legolas laughed again, pleased with this subtle change in Thranduil's character. "Rest assured father, I do aim _higher_ ", he replied, stressing the last word. Thranduil understood the implication and laughed along his son. This was truly a merry evening for him, and he was grateful for it.

"How would you like a trip to Imladris, then, come spring?" the Elvenking suggested.

"It would be wonderful, ada. Would you really venture out of your woods after so long?" the Prince wondered.

"Well, why not. You can spend some time with your loved one, and I can speak with Elrond about the oncoming rise of the Shadow. I would very much like to learn of his insight and hear his opinion", the King responded in a calm and controlled manner.

Of course, what Thranduil would not reveal to his son was that his primary wish, which was strong enough to make him leave his halls, was his burning desire to see Tauriel again. Legolas had simply and unwittingly offered him the perfect excuse to go to Rivendell. Things could not have turned more favorable for him at the moment, Thranduil thought.

"Very well, then. I agree. Come spring, we can go and pay our noble kin there a visit. I can only imagine their reaction when they see the mighty and terrible Elvenking galloping proudly into Imladris…" Legolas said, his eyes gleaming with pride for his father.

Thranduil was deeply touched by his son's words. Not only was he not resentful towards him, but he was also proud of him. He smiled, and then stood from his chair and moved to the sofa. As he sat down, he spoke.

"Come here, Legolas. Come, my elfling. A son is never too old to receive his father's love and affection", he told him in a deep, emotional voice.

Legolas was pleasantly surprised, and he immediately sought to comply. He sat on the sofa by his father's side and let his head rest against his shoulder. Thranduil brought his arm around his youngling's shoulders, holding him tenderly.

They sat like that in silence for many long moments, each relaxing and taking comfort in the other's presence. Legolas had never felt so content in his life before. And Thranduil, for his part, wished he had not let so many years go to waste.

"You know, father, when I was little I often used to imagine you were like those elves of old, like the legendary King of Doriath, Elu Thingol… or Mablung, Beleg and Daeron… Those fabled Sindar of the first age of whom I know only from our lore-books. But so great and imposing you seemed to me, that I was sure you were one of them", Legolas murmured, deep in thought.

"Oh, ion nin, but I have known all those elves you spoke of. Your grandfather was a kinsman of Thingol's; we are descendants of the lord of Beleriand. Take pride in that", Thranduil said as he absent-mindedly played with a strand of the Prince's blond hair.

"I know of our heritage, father. You never pretermitted to tell me of it. You must be really proud to be related to Thingol… But you have only seldom spoken to me of your days in Doriath", Legolas commented.

"Those were mainly happy days, son. I was very young then, only an elfling. Your grandfather, Oropher, was a councilor in Elu Thingol's court", Thranduil said and sighed, reminiscing upon those bygone times. "I also remember Luthien, the King's daughter. She was indeed fair beyond comparison, as legend says. Poor Daeron was desperately in love with her, but she did not love him back", the Elvenking said with a sad smile. "Alas, not all love is meant to be cherished and returned", he whispered, as if he was speaking to himself.

Legolas chose not to comment on that. Instead, he voiced another question. "How was it to live in Menegroth, father?"

"It was somewhat similar to living here in these halls, Legolas. Only Menegroth was much larger and far more glorious. I sought to have my halls built in the likeness of Menegroth, in memory of my youth there, but they are only a pale reflection of that great elven city. Such cities will never come to be again", Thranduil said solemnly.

"I have always found these halls of yours too vast and deep for my liking", the young ellon said and smiled, still resting against his father's shoulder. "I can only imagine what Menegroth was like…" the Prince's sleepy voice trailed off.

Thranduil saw his son's fatigue and sleepiness. "Next time I can tell you of Amon Lanc, if you wish, before it was tainted by the Necromancer and became Dol Guldur. But now I will leave you to rest, son. Enough for one day", he said and softly removed his arm from around Legolas' shoulders.

The young ellon shifted and looked at his father. "Yes, ada. I am glad, for our reunion was much more pleasant than I had expected".

Thranduil smiled and nodded as he stood and walked to the door.

"Rest well, ion nin, and may you dream of your fair maiden", he spoke softly.

 _As may I_ , thought the Elvenking and exited his son's chambers.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

True to his promise, it was in late March that Thranduil and his son set out for Rivendell. The Elvenking had sent word to Elrond one week prior to their departure, and the elf lord had been awaiting their arrival. Father and son rode west through Mirkwood and across the Misty Mountains, accompanied by a small host of guards and servants.

It took them six days to reach the glorious dwelling of lord Elrond and his elves, and throughout the journey the weather had been on the travelers' side, gracing them with sunny mornings and rainless evenings.

After a deep descent, the northern gates of Rivendell appeared. For there were two ways in and out of Rivendell, one north and one south. The road that began at the northern gate led into the Misty Mountains, while the southern entrance had no grand gates; there was an impressive bridge spanning over the rapid waters, and it led to an ascending trail over hills and along cliffs. This trail led into the Trollshaws and went on for a few miles until it ended on the High Moor.

Thranduil's company, who had crossed the Misty Mountains, was reaching now this northern gate. High pillars stood on each side of the stone-paved road, both carved after the elven fashion, and, curving at the top, they were bent towards each other and joined in the middle, creating a beautiful arch. Under this arch Thranduil and his host was granted passage by the dark-haired guards. They rode on a little further, along downhill paths and over a couple of bridges, while the great falls of Rivendell roared to their left as they went, until they came before a wide plateau, which was mainly used for the reception of guests.

Some elven guards stood at the circumference of the circular plateau, while Lindir, Elrond's steward, appeared out of a small crowd of gathered residents and walked forward to welcome the guests.

"Welcome to Rivendell, King Thranduil and Prince Legolas!" he announced merrily and bowed before the royal ellyn.

Thranduil smiled and nodded, while taking a look around, mainly curious to see the reaction on the elves' faces. For many of them this was the first time they saw the Elvenking of the Woodland Realm, and they had imagined him dark and brooding, majestic and terrible as a Sinda of old.

They were right.

Thranduil looked exactly as he had wished to look on that very day. Mounted on his great elk with the huge antlers, which was in fact the offspring of the one he had lost during the Battle for Erebor, he was downright imposing. On his head he wore a silver circlet, the most elegant and intricate he possessed. His fine silver-blond hair glistened under the sunlight like silk. He wore robes of black and silver, and a silver cape was also draped upon his shoulders. His long curved sword, secure in its sheath, glimmered by his side. His expression was one of arrogance and superiority, his pale eyes icy and the line of his dark brows stern.

Legolas, for his part, had a much friendlier look upon his face, as he was already known and liked in Rivendell, unlike his father, who, the Prince suspected, would probably not gain many fans here, where many elves of Noldorin heritage dwelled.

"Thank you, steward", the Elvenking replied belatedly, his voice steady and even. He was clearly in no rush, seeking to maximize the impression he made on the elves of Rivendell. Good or bad, that was theirs to decide.

"You may leave your steeds here. I will lead you to lord Elrond. He is awaiting you in his House", said Lindir, and inclined his head, showing reverence to the Elvenking once more.

They did as they were instructed, leaving their mounts in the care of the elves that came and received them. Then they slowly began walking towards Elrond's dwelling. In the middle walked Thranduil and on his right went Legolas, while Lindir walked to his left. The rest of the Elvenking's company followed behind.

"Chambers have been readied for you and your companions, my lords", said Lindir with a slight tremble and uncertainty in his voice, clearly intimidated by the silver-clad King who towered over him and looked so grim in his demeanor.

Soon they reached the arched entrance of Elrond's halls. A stream ran by, while flowerbeds decorated the smooth pathways. In a small distance stood the lord of Imladris and next to him were his sons and daughter. Clad in a high-collared robe of fine crimson velvet and golden embroidery, Elrond walked forward to meet them.

"It is a joy to receive you in Imladris, Elvenking Thranduil", he said and smiled genuinely, extending his arm towards the tall elf in the trademark elven greeting.

"The joy is mine, Elrond Peredhel", said Thranduil and returned the gesture.

Legolas followed suit and greeted their host, and after him Elrond's children did the same. Thranduil did not forget to give a good look, nigh a glare, at Elladan, as soon as he was introduced to him. So that was the ellon who sought Tauriel's affection? Dark-haired and tall, and fair of face and manners, he also looked exactly the same as his twin brother Elrohir. Thankfully, they were wearing different garments, and so Thranduil could tell them apart. Elladan seemed quite likable and friendly enough to the Elvenking, who had predisposed himself as a rival to this ellon. For the time being he decided to play along and simply watch his moves from afar.

Arwen was indeed beautiful and most graceful, and Thranduil, who had known Luthien Tinuviel during his time in Doriath, could really confirm that it was her beauty come again to Arda in the form of Arwen Undomiel. But it was a beauty too perfect and too fragile for his taste, and he felt no attraction for the elleth. And, for the time being, the elleth of his heart was nowhere to be seen.

Or so he thought. Because, in truth, said elleth was watching the scene from her high window, on the topmost floor of Elrond's halls. Her heart took to beating faster at the sight of the Elvenking, who gleamed silver under the daylight. But the sight of her friend, Legolas, beside his father gave her a warm feeling that spread throughout her body. It moved her to see father and son together again.

As the exchange between the lords down there continued, thoughts of the recent past came unbidden to Tauriel's head. She remembered the dark words she had cursed Thranduil with on that fateful night, when they had jumped from love to hatred in the blink of an eye. _May your forest burn and you burn with it!_ Her own words echoed in her head, and she bitterly regretted having uttered them. Yes, the Elvenking had insulted her greatly, but it was because he had seen his hopes being shattered once again. He had felt rejected, and he retorted in the only way he knew: in a mean and angry manner.

But Tauriel now wished she had not cursed her King. Her _silver King_ , she thought, who looked more radiant and imposing than ever. She did not wish death and destruction upon him. His own life so far was abundant with those elements. What it lacked was love.

Far below her window, the royal elves were being led inside the house by Elrond. Dinner was awaiting them, for what better way is there to welcome your guests than share a glorious dinner with them?

And it was over food and wine that the two lords had at last the chance to speak.

"Tell me, Thranduil Oropherion, what brings your so seldom-seen self to my lands? I do not recall you stepping foot in Imladris for centuries…" said Elrond with a raised eyebrow.

"It is the threat of the rising enemy in the south that had me leave my halls. I am here to listen to your thoughts and counsel", Thranduil replied.

Elrond nodded. "And how is your realm faring under the growing Darkness?"

"There is a sickness over the forest, and the spider infestation is worsening. I wish I could tell you differently, but we are suffering a lot, and my people have diminished. One by one they are taking the ships to Valinor", the Elvenking spoke in a grave tone.

"Yes. Our time is ending, but there is still much we need to do. Strengthen your defenses, Thranduil. Evil will be relentless", the lord of Imladris warned him with a stern look upon his face, while slightly leaning towards his side.

Thranduil looked at his interlocutor's face and examined his serious expression. His brow was furrowed and his eyes intense. At last he leaned back in his chair and averted his gaze.

"The Woodland Realm will be ready, when the time comes", he finally said, eyeing the wine in his glass, before taking a slow sip.

"It will not be long before that time comes", Elrond spoke on in the same manner.

"You have the gift of foresight, Elrond Half-elven. What have you seen?" Thranduil asked and returned his now narrowed eyes to him.

The elven lord sighed. "I have many visions, and not all of them may come to pass. But the One Ring keeps appearing in them. It will soon be found, Thranduil. Of that I am certain. The Dark Lord has returned to Mordor after fleeing from Dol Guldur, but his lieutenants still hold the ancient fortress. It is because of Sauron's dark will that the shadow still covers the Greenwood of old. From his dark seat in the land where the Shadows lie Sauron seeks to regain his old strength. He will seek absolute dominion over Middle Earth, never doubt that, and for that he needs the One Ring. I have seen it in my visions… Dormant it may now lie, but soon it will stir and seek to return to its master", he explained in a deep and foreboding voice.

"What will Rivendell do, if at last it comes to a war?" asked Thranduil.

Elrond took a moment to regard his companion before replying. "It will come to a war. Do not delude yourself with false hope, Elvenking. A new alliance must be forged among the free peoples. No one on his own can survive the war that will eventually come. If we stand alone, we will all fall. My thoughts are to work towards such an alliance. Our hope lies with men, Thranduil, though it is with reluctance that I admit it. They might be weak, but their time is rising and it is to their courage and loyalty we must trust now".

Thranduil leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his wine, contemplating Elrond's words.

"I will not march to open battle", he said in a decisive tone.

"Thranduil!" Elrond's voice rose in protest.

"My people have suffered many losses", said the Elvenking evenly, seemingly unaffected by his companion's reaction.

"As have we all", Elrond said sternly.

"I will not lead them to more death". Thranduil was adamant and gave the lord of Imladris a hard stare.

"Regardless of your choice, death will reach you. This will not be a single battle over gold, or against some isolated orc fortress. This will be the war of our age, in the likeness of the war we both fought in, when the last alliance of elves and men defeated Sauron. Even if you choose to remain hidden in your halls in Mirkwood, if the forces of Darkness are victorious, there will be no Mirkwood for you to rule over. Everything will be obliterated under the Dark Lord's relentless and unforgiving hand", Elrond warned in a dark tone, but seeing Thranduil's reluctance, his stance changed into one of deep concern. "In this war everyone's assistance will be needed. How can you turn your back to this common cause? Your father had not hesitated to grant us his alliance then. He chose to commit his realm to the common cause. Have you forgotten that? It was Oropher, who valiantly led Greenwood's armies against Sauron in that great final battle".

"Yes, he did. And he died", Thranduil replied sullenly.

Elrond sat back and sighed. He could see that reasoning with the distrustful and isolationist King of the woodland elves was not an easy matter. So, if reason would not work, he would try a different approach.

"I was with you when Oropher was slain, Thranduil. And I was with you when Lothrin died, and you were so horribly wounded. It was me who healed you, it was me who witnessed your agony and suffering. I know very well the pain and grief you carry inside. But, I implore you, do not let it cloud your judgement. You are a brilliant strategist and the keenest warrior I have ever beheld. In the war to come we will need you", Elrond spoke from his heart.

Thranduil turned his eyes to the lord of Imladris, who was looking at him intently. He could see what he was trying to do. He would not be caught in the trap.

"I admire your loyalty to the service of what is good and fair, Elrond Peredhel. But perhaps such noble things come more easily to a mighty ring-bearer", the Elvenking said and eyed with envy the blue-stoned ring Elrond wore. His eyes darkened as he felt jealousy and greed crawling in his heart.

"Great gifts come with great responsibility. It is a heavy burden. Do you think you would be able to bear it, Thranduil? Do you think you would have the wisdom to use the ring's power for good, and not be corrupted by it? For the elven rings are not meant to be used for power or dominion over others, but to kindle hope and courage in hearts and to protect against evil", Elrond wisely spoke.

He was met with a sneer. Then Thranduil tore his eyes away from the ring and decided to say no more on the matter.

"I might not carry your wisdom, Celeborn's steadfastness or Galadriel's acumen, but I assure you I know how to protect my people, and my decisions have ever been for their welfare", he said with an air of haughty determination.

"I know, Thranduil. You are enduring, your heart is strong. Lesser elves in your stead would have long sailed. For this I trust you will make the right choice when the time comes", Elrond spoke kindly, for he knew that although Thranduil was arrogant and unyielding in his manner, he was no fool, and his actions had proved him a wise ruler.

Thranduil peered deeply into Elrond's eyes. But for the irritation he felt due to his persistence, he acknowledged his wisdom. Both lords looked at each other, and nodded. They had finally come to some measure of an understanding.

* * *

Later in the day, as the sun had just set behind the great rocks of the High Moor, which lay to the southwest of Rivendell, Thranduil and Elrond met in the low gardens. They, in fact, were less of a garden and more of walkways and bridges over small streams, while here and there abundant flowers and other flora were to be found. In this time of spring, the air was heady with aromas and fragrances, and the Elvenking found it to his liking.

"These are beautiful gardens here, Elrond", Thranduil said as they ascended a few white steps that brought them to a small pavilion. Two benches of white carven wood were to be found on either side of it.

"Yes, they are a favorite of Arwen's. She herself oversees the preservation and improvement of these gardens", Elrond informed him with a proud smile.

"She truly carries Luthien's beauty", the Elvenking commented.

Elrond' smile turned into a tender one. "You have known Luthien, my great-grandmother".

"I have. Long ago it was, but I forget not", Thranduil replied and shook his head.

"I wish she had not chosen Luthien's fate as well", lamented Elrond.

"What do you mean?" the Elvenking wondered.

The lord of Imladris stood pensive for a moment, and then he responded. "She has chosen to love a mortal man. Aragorn, son of Arathorn, chieftain of the Dunedain and heir to Elendil the Tall". Disapproval was palpable in his voice.

This was news to Thranduil. He did not know the elf maiden and the ranger were in love.

"Our children only seldom share the wishes of their parents, when it comes to the matters of the heart", he commented quietly.

"You are speaking out of experience, are you not, Elvenking?" Elrond asked and turned to him.

"Indeed I am. There was a time when I objected to my son having feelings for a Silvan elf of the Guard. I considered her too low of station and descent to be fit to be the Prince's mate. I regretted my attitude on the matter later. I have hurt my son needlessly. May he find happiness in any way he deems right", Thranduil said in a calm voice.

Elrond watched him for a while. "It surprises me to hear such words coming from you. I would have expected Thranduil of Mirkwood to be a stricter father".

"Thranduil of Mirkwood has been strict enough and for too long. None benefitted from it. I would have Legolas choose his own fate", he said and looked away to the running waters.

"Speaking of whom, are you aware that a romance may bloom between your son and a noble maiden of Imladris?" Elrond asked with a pleasant twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes, Legolas spoke to me of an elleth called Lossendis. What can you tell me of her?" Thranduil asked with genuine interest and returned his gaze to Elrond.

"She is one of our finest, certainly. Gifted with beauty as sweet as a spring lily, a sharp mind and a wise, compassionate and persevering spirit she is. I think Lossendis would make a wonderful mate for Legolas. Your son is respected and loved here. A match between them would be celebrated", said Elrond with a soft smile upon his face.

Thranduil nodded, obviously pleased. "I will not interfere with Legolas' choice of mate. Perhaps you should consider the same as well, Elrond".

"Are you telling me to stop trying to change Arwen's mind?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and his hands clasped behind his back.

"You will never change her heart. Even if you manage to persuade her to act according to your wish and will, you will have robbed her of the happiness she would have chosen for herself", the Elvenking voiced his opinion.

Elrond took a deep breath. "Perhaps you are right, although I cannot see how she will be happy at the side of a mortal man. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. Arwen will taste the bitterness of mortality. She will be left alone, bound to her grief, to linger on in darkness and in doubt…" he said in a low, mournful voice, while his gaze lowered and fell on the passing waters beneath their feet.

Thranduil's mood also darkened, for Elrond's words reflected the way he had felt for so many centuries after Lothrin's passing. No parent would ever wish such a fate for their child. Elrond's fears and doubts were entirely justified and understandable.

"How about your sons? What fate have they chosen?" Thranduil asked, seeking to change the subject from Arwen and slowly bring it where he wished.

"They have still chosen nothing. Elladan and Elrohir mostly concern themselves with the fate of the world, and not their own private lives. In the last years they are helping the rangers of the north and clearing out the Trollshaws of the remaining trolls and other unsightly creatures. Although, word has reached my ear that Elladan has taken a liking to that fugitive of yours, the one named Tauriel", said Elrond with a faint smile.

"Oh, is that so?" Thranduil pretended he knew nothing, preferring to hear the story as Elrond would tell it. "And what about her? Is she responsive to his affection?"

"That I doubt, although I cannot speak for certain. The young elleth has a place in my Guard now, and she always looks thoughtful and remote. Are all the elves in your realm so sullen and dark nowadays, Thranduil?" His expression had turned sorrowful now.

The Elvenking sighed. It did not please him to hear that Tauriel was unhappy. "The growing Darkness affects us all. If only my halls were a place of peace and recollection, like Rivendell. Alas, they are far from it".

"I do remember Greenwood as it was, before the veil of Darkness covered it. These are dark days we are living, mellon nin", the lord of Imladris commented solemnly.

Thranduil nodded, sharing his mood. "At times this Shadow is unbearable".

"Was it this Darkness Tauriel ran from?" Elrond asked, and the question came rather unexpectedly to Thranduil. He had thought no more would be said of Tauriel.

"She did ran from darkness, yes…" he replied, thinking ironically that is was his darkness that had her leave last time.

"When she came to Imladris sixty years ago and asked for refuge, she said that she could not go back to Mirkwood, that there was nothing there for her anymore. Although she avoided detailed explanations, I have come to understand it was something that grieved her deeply, something that happened during the battle before the gates of Erebor. Was she punished with exile for something? Or was it her own choice to leave?" he asked with deep, inquisitive eyes.

Thranduil looked at Elrond carefully , but he could not determine whether he truly knew not of Tauriel's reason for leaving Mirkwood or he was simply testing him. He decided to go for the truth.

"Much has transpired between me and my former Captain", he started, already feeling bile rising up to his tongue. "She had defied my orders and for that she had been banished. Later, she showed up at Erebor and even came to point an arrow at my head during the battle for Erebor, because she disagreed with my decision not to intervene with Thorin Oakenshield's fate. But for her treachery, I forgave her afterwards since her motive had been noble, but she refused to return to Mirkwood. That is how she came to seek refuge here", Thranduil briefly explained, purposefully omitting important parts of the story.

But Elrond, of course, knew the truth of the events, or at least he knew it as Tauriel had narrated it to him when she first came to Rivendell seeking refuge. However, he chose to play this small and harmless game with Thranduil and have him describe his own version of the story. So he played along and spoke on.

"Your description makes her sound like a treacherous villain, but she is not like that at all. Why would you so easily forgive a traitor? Pardon me for saying this, but you are not known for your leniency, Elvenking. I suspect there is so much more to this story you are not revealing", Elrond quietly observed.

Thranduil sighed in slight annoyance, having been cornered. "We saw things differently. We had different priorities. She wished to follow the command of her heart and save the dwarves on Ravenhill, while I never had that luxury. The welfare of my people came first, and I would not spend more elven blood in defense of that accursed land. I only forgave her because love had directed her actions". _And because I loved her,_ he bitterly thought.

"The command of her heart, you say… And you spoke of love as a motive. So, was there a loved one of hers involved?" Elrond asked on.

"Yes, a nephew of Thorin Oakenshield. They had developed romantic feelings for each other during the dwarves' captivity in Mirkwood. Can you imagine that, Elrond? An elf maiden with a dwarf!" The taste of bile had become too profound now at the remembrance of those events that were despicable to him.

Elrond was almost certain he had traced an inkling of jealousy in Thranduil's tone, but he decided to keep the thought to himself.

"Mithrandir had once narrated to me the story of Oakenshield's quest, but I did not know there were such colorful details to it", the lord of Imladris said in a slightly amused tone, in utter contrast to Thranduil's sulking demeanor. "Well, mellon, who can decide who they love? We are susceptible to our heart's independent choices. And we always wish to fight for those we love. You know that first-hand", he said with a small smile and in a soft voice, and then turned and walked on, leaving the pavilion behind. Thranduil followed him, but his mood was ruined.

A few moments passed in silence, as the two lords kept walking slowly, calming their minds in the quiet of the garden and the soothing sound of running waters. Then Thranduil spoke.

"Where can I find her, Elrond? For Rivendell is a large place and I do not claim to know it well". His voice sounded hopeful and bore a hint of regret.

"You wish to speak to her?" he wondered.

"Yes", Thranduil simply admitted.

Elrond stood and turned to face Thranduil. He saw deep emotion and distress in the Elvenking's eyes, as if something was eating at him and would not let him rest. What was it that this strange and aloof elven lord was not disclosing?

"Her chambers are on the highest floor of my halls, at the end of the southernmost corridor", Elrond informed him.

"Thank you".

"Do not thank me, Elvenking. We always try and mend what is broken, though not all broken things can be mended", he spoke with a faint smile and a slightly raised eyebrow.

Thranduil gave him a strange look as he was befuddled by his enigmatic words.

"I understand there is much to this story of yours, but I will not press you to say more if you wish not to. Speak to Tauriel, if you must. Perhaps you will be able to make amends, perhaps not. But I will tell you only one thing: do as your heart commands", said Elrond and gave the other one a side-glance full of wisdom and intelligence.

The Elvenking's mouth opened slightly in astonishment. But for the subtlety of his words, he was sure Elrond had suspected what his predisposition towards the elleth was. He could never understand how the lord of Imladris could be so astute and perceptive, while he himself had revealed so little.

Elrond saw his startled expression and smiled kindly. "Do not be surprised by my words. I know your _fea_ , Thranduil. It was revealed to me during your long hours of despair and anguish, when I nursed you back to health. I know what it is you yearn for. And I wish you to find it. May you be met with luck in your quest".

Thranduil could only nod at Elrond's words. Deep in his heart, the yearning to be loved stirred again and awoke. The longing for Tauriel was becoming unbearable, now that they were both in the same place, now that he was so close to her again. His _fea_ was already reaching out for hers. He would try and approach Tauriel on the morrow, and he could only hope she would be yearning for the same thing.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The following morning Thranduil decided to take a stroll in Rivendell, in an attempt to take Tauriel off his mind. The elleth was probably on duty till midday, so he needed to do something to pass the time. Legolas had made sure to abandon his father as soon as he had a chance to see Lossendis, and the guards and servants were released from duty for the time being. The Elvenking thought it entirely unnecessary, ridiculous even, to walk around in Rivendell followed by a bunch of guards; this was a safe place, probably the safest place in Middle Earth.

And he was indeed content to enjoy a walk on his own, so that he could be alone with his thoughts and free of distractions. He marveled at the beauty and purity that Rivendell still possessed, wishing inwardly that Mirkwood shared the same fate. He crossed smaller and larger bridges, walked under arched pathways and was occasionally greeted by local people, who showed him respect and friendliness. Truly, the folk of Imladris was different in manner from his own folk, but it was only natural. Thranduil thought that, were these elves to dwell in his woods, they would soon turn distrustful and suspicious under the constant presence and oppression of the Shadow.

The Elvenking had a mind to pay a visit to his magnificent elk, so he made for the stables. However, to reach his desired destination he would first have to pass through the market and the forges of Rivendell. The market itself was a lively place, buzzing with talk and merriment of the busy elves who went here and there, searching for goods and treats. It brought a smile to Thranduil's lips, for he had almost forgotten how it was to live under the sun and with a light heart.

Taking the turn of the path after the market, the grand forges appeared before him. Here great weapons were made by the most skilled elven smiths of their time. His curiosity drove him to the stalls where blades were forged and sold. He approached, expecting to look upon the fine weaponry and perhaps choose a small gift for himself and his son. What he did not expect, however, was to find Tauriel there.

She was standing by the edge of the wooden stall, weighing a dagger in her hand. Her attention was completely drawn to the small weapon she was holding, which gleamed and reflected the light as she slowly turned it in her fingers. She tried it and whirled it a couple of times, her skill with it inimitable.

Thranduil stood and watched her nearly mesmerized. Her reddish hair was glistening under the golden sunlight, while thin and intricate braids adorned it, apparently done after the local elven fashion. On her head she wore a fine golden circlet. Her garments were deep burgundy in color and her hooded cloak that covered her shoulders grey. Clearly this was the garb of Elrond's Guard, thought the Elvenking, as he remembered the dress of the guards at their reception the previous day.

The elleth smiled, obviously pleased with the quality of the dagger, but she had not taken notice of Thranduil yet, who was standing a few meters behind her.

"How much for the dagger?" she asked the vendor.

"Consider it a gift of good will", Thranduil intervened before the vendor had a chance to reply, and Tauriel instantly turned to his direction with wide eyes. "Hand her the dagger and you shall be paid by me", he told the vendor, not looking at her at all. He had his hands clasped behind his back, his head held high and he was standing at his full height.

The vendor sought to quickly comply with the Elvenking's wishes and gave Tauriel the dagger, along with an intricate leather sheath.

"You need not gift me anything, my lord. I can manage for myself", she spoke in a low but hard voice.

"Of that I am certain", he said and turned his cold gaze to her.

A chill ran down her spine as their eyes locked briefly and she saw the ice and steel in his. Then he quickly tossed a few coins of silver to the vendor, a payment that by far exceeded the actual value and price of the dagger.

"I would have expected you to be on duty", he said with a smirk and looked at her with an air of arrogance.

"I was given leave for the day, my lord", she said and resumed a military pose, with her shoulders squared, her head ever so slightly bowed before the King and her hands tied on her back.

He felt a painful stab in his heart then, for she reminded him of days gone, when she was a Captain in _his_ Guard.

"Good. Then I assume you can be as gracious as to show me around", he said with a raised eyebrow and a tilt of his head to the side. He was enjoying himself immensely that he had trapped her so easily. She could not escape him now.

Tauriel's mouth gave a slight twitch of distress and anger, but she dutifully bent her head. "If it is my lord's command".

"It is his wish. Will you grant it?" He softened his tone a little and allowed his brow to relax.

"Yes, my lord", she replied and swallowed her pride.

"Excellent. I was hoping to walk to the stables and see how my steed is faring. Would you be so kind as to lead me there?" he spoke in exaggerated politeness.

Tauriel nodded hurriedly and walked forward, uneasiness sweeping through her body. The crowd around them paid them little heed. This was nothing extraordinary. Of course, Thranduil had never been fond of making his private issues a public show.

As soon as they were a safe distance from the forges and halfway to the stables, he caught up with her and came to walk beside her. She kept her eyes trained forward.

"Tauriel", he started, but she spoke before he had a chance to say anything else.

"We are almost at the stables, my lord", she said, trying to hide her nervousness, but her discomfort did not elude him.

He sighed in frustration. She quickened her pace.

There it was, the gate of the stables. The two elves walked past the guards and entered. Thranduil's majestic elk was easy to spot, with its antlers protruding from its box. No one was to be seen around, and the Elvenking felt grateful for the privacy they had been miraculously granted.

"Here we are, my lord. And now if you will excuse me, I have matters to attend to", she spoke hastily, keeping her eyes low, and she made to leave.

But Thranduil caught her by the arm.

"No, Tauriel. You are not going to leave. You are not going to escape me so easily. I have waited so long to see you. Do you think I traveled all the way from Mirkwood just to have you play your little games? I think not", he said in a low and severe voice that sounded almost menacing to the elleth's ears.

She tried to shrug his hand off, but his grasp was tight. Her face contorted in anger.

"What have we to say? Our story ended long ago", she told him defiantly, while looking at him straight in the eye now.

"Did it?" he asked and looked at her angrily. At her lack of response, he yanked her arm and asked again, "Did it?" His voice was almost a hiss now.

Tauriel grunted and tried to free herself again. "You are hurting me!"

"Not as much as you have hurt _me_ ", he seethed, but finally released her.

"Is it revenge that you want, then? Is this why you have come all the way from your halls?" she asked him angrily.

"No, that is not it", he said and walked up to her, causing her to retreat backwards until her back was met with the hard wooden surface of the wall. He blocked her escape with his body.

He was looking at her intently, feelings of anger, lust, passion, love and longing a terrible torrent inside him.

"You ran from me a second time. You spat back on my face all my feelings and good will. Why? Why do you hate me so?" His voice still carried anger, but now it was also lined with despair and hurt.

"In case you have forgotten, you had insulted me greatly, as if I was a common Edain whore! And you disrespected Kili's memory. Is that the way of your love? Anger and insult? Then I do not want it", she retorted in equal passion.

"Yes, I insulted you and I regret my rashness greatly, but you cursed me to a death in fire! A death in fire, Tauriel! After I had trusted you, opened myself to you and told you how much I have lost in those cursed flames, you chose to use this against me and strike me where I was most vulnerable!" his voice was trembling and on the verge of breaking, tears welling up in his eyes already. "You hurt me deliberately, Tauriel".

"And I regret it! I do regret it, Thranduil. Thoughtless words had escaped my mouth that fateful night. Do you think I am indifferent to it? Do you think I ever took pleasure in our argument? Do you have me for heartless and unfeeling?" It was her turn now to feel an emotional wave surging through her and threatening her resolve.

They stood there, hearts beating wildly in their chests and tears threatening to spill. Thranduil was looming over Tauriel, and she was lost in his stormy eyes.

"No… Not heartless and unfeeling. But I never imagined you could be cruel if you wished to", he finally responded in a low voice.

"Perhaps now you can have a glimpse at how we all felt under your cold and cruel gaze", she retorted and narrowed her eyes at him.

Her words made him shudder, for they rang with truth, but he tried not to seem affected. "I do not care about anyone else. I only care about how _you_ feel", he told her with great intensity in his tone, while he closed the small distance between them. Their bodies were almost touching, intensifying the tension between them.

Tauriel felt the heat emanating from his body, and his _fea_ reaching for hers desperately, blackened and shadowed by Morgoth's touch, but vibrant still and even loving. A lump formed then in her throat and threatened to choke her.

Thranduil spoke again. "You would often insist back then that you did not know your own feelings, that you needed time to clear your thoughts. You have had more than enough time, Tauriel. Years of it, actually. And I would have my answer. Now. There is no escaping this time", he demanded impatiently, his eyes searching hers for the truth.

"Do you expect to hear an answer that would favor you, Thranduil, when you have me here under so much pressure and hold me against my will?" she whispered, her voice trembling.

He pondered her words for a few seconds, and then, as if shaken, took a step back, putting some distance between them and allowing her to breathe. "I told you, I will do nothing against your will", he said remorsefully and lowered his gaze. "Go then, if you must. Do as you please". His voice was pained, for he felt he would be yet again rejected by her.

Tauriel took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerve. His distress pained her deeply. She wanted to embrace him and comfort him, but her mind told her he did not deserve it right now, after having behaved almost violently. So she took a couple of steps towards the wooden doors and spoke.

"I will leave now. I need to calm my heart and head and stop this conversation here, lest we say more awful things to each other that we may regret in the future", she said in a steady but not harsh tone. "But this is not over. When your anger has dissipated and only the truth of your heart remains in your thoughts, come and find me, and perhaps then we can speak in peace", she said and inclined her head slightly.

Thranduil was looking at her, still bearing a pained expression on his face, and slowly nodded. He could see the wisdom of her words. This heated exchange would lead to nothing good, and it had better cease.

She pushed the door open and sunlight crept inside, illuminating her flawless face and emerald eyes, making the shadowed hollows beneath her high cheekbones deeper still.

"Thank you for the dagger", she whispered with a small smile, and then left.

* * *

It was the twilight of the day when Tauriel heard a soft knock on the doors of her chambers. With a sigh, certain of the identity of her visitor, she pulled her robe tighter around her and then opened the door.

Thranduil was standing there, dressed in a simple day-tunic of dark blue and a matching cloak. No crown he wore on his head. His expression was calm and solemn, his eyes deep and thoughtful.

"Come inside, Thranduil", she offered gently, and he gave her a small smile in return.

The Elvenking glanced around, seeing for the first time the dwelling place of Tauriel. A soft, large bed of oaken wood lay in one side and opposite it stood a neat dresser. A small fireplace was in the corner and in front of it stood a round table of carved wood and three matching chairs. A large, ornate window adorned the western wall. The spring breeze blew in, carrying the sweet scents and fragrancies of the evening.

"Is this where you have been living, these nearly sixty years?" he inquired.

"Yes. I have come to call it home", she replied with a soft smile, and he nodded.

It was truly a beautiful and peaceful place. And Rivendell, if not Lothlorien, was perhaps the heart of elvendom in Middle Earth. Why would she ever want to leave here? Thranduil could clearly see what the elleth had found here that his own realm sorely missed.

"May I offer you some wine and fruit?" she asked him politely, and without waiting for a response, she walked over to a small cabinet and took out a jug and two goblets, which she placed on the table. A large platter stood in the center and it was filled with various seasonal fruit.

The Elvenking stepped closer and took a seat. Tauriel did the same, choosing not to sit across from him, but quite close. This did not go unnoticed by Thranduil.

She filled the goblets and offered him one. "I hope you will find it to your liking", she said.

Thranduil smiled and took a sip. "It is good, thank you", he said in a low voice and looked at her as she popped a slice of orange in her mouth. Watching her caused his smile to involuntarily widen.

She noticed the change in his expression and smiled back.

"I have missed you, Tauriel", he told her softly. "Please forgive my unrestrained manners earlier. I was overwhelmed with the sight of you, after five years", he went on apologetically.

"I, too, was overwhelmed", she admitted. "I did not mean to be so stiff… But it was my initial reaction to your sudden and unexpected appearance".

"Are you not happy to see me? Not even in the least?" he asked with sadness.

She peered deep into his eyes and reached to touch his hand. "After my initial startle I can say that yes, perhaps I am glad to see you", she replied and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

He held it in his fervently. "Why are you still holding back, Tauriel? Why did you allow five years to pass without a word, without a visit?"

"You never wrote or visited either, not until now. I had thought maybe at last we let go of each other", she told him with a sigh.

He released her hand. "Did you ever wish me to visit? Or were you content that I did not?" he asked anxiously, as his brow furrowed and his gaze darkened.

"I felt remorseful after our horrible fight during my last night in Mirkwood. I could not forgive myself for throwing such heavy words at you. I thought often of you, Thranduil, but I did not think I was deserving of seeing you again", she confessed in a weak voice and lowered her eyes.

Thranduil's demeanor softened. "I also felt remorseful, Tauriel, for having insulted you so profoundly. At the peak of my anger I become irrational and vengeful".

The elleth lifted her eyes to his and then brought her hand to caress his hair that was close to his face. "Why must we keep hurting each other?" she said in a voice rich with emotion and regret.

At her touch Thranduil shivered and felt tears forming in his eyes. "Because we are fools".

Tauriel's own eyes were glistening. "You requested an answer from me earlier".

The Elvenking looked at her with a thick eyebrow slightly raised in surprise. "Yes, I did. But I expect nothing. My own feelings have brought us only pain and distress, it seems", he lamented.

Her gaze trembled and her lips twitched. "Do you regret loving me?"

"No, never. My love for you has made me feel alive again, and I cherish it. But it was wrong of me to expect you to return it and even press you for it. The selfishness of my needy heart blinded me", he said and looked away in shame.

"Thranduil…" she breathed. "Do not be so severe with yourself anymore. You are not the only one to blame. The fault lies with me as well. I have not respected you as you deserved. I tantalized your already troubled heart, played hide-and-seek with my insecurities and tormented you. Long have I pondered, but at last I have come to realize the truth of my feelings", she spoke with a fervor that lit a fire of hope in the Elvenking's eyes.

"You have?" he asked and waited for her response in agonizing silence.

"Yes. And now that you are here and you say you love me still, I will at last talk to you truthfully", she replied and looked at him deeply. Then she took a breath and stood from her chair. She turned her gaze to the window and walked to it slowly. She spoke again then, and Thranduil could only listen with his breath caught in his throat.

"Here I was, safe and undisturbed in Rivendell, thinking I had my life in order and my heart in peace. But it was an illusion. An illusion you shattered when you appeared in my life again and turned everything upside down. I was settled here, I believed I could go on living without thinking of you. Why can it not be true? Why must my thought turn to your eyes and smile whenever I am in the solitude of my own bed? Why can my dreams not be free of images of your face and the sound of your voice? Why must the memory of your presence haunt me so?" Tauriel spoke in a broken voice, while tears were now running freely down her cheeks.

"Tauriel…" he breathed, and then he left his seat and walked up to her.

Thranduil stood behind her and brought his hands to softly rest upon her shoulders, very careful and slow in his movement, as if he was afraid of startling her and scaring her away once more.

But Tauriel turned as soon as she felt his touch, and in a moment she found herself enclosed in his strong embrace, hugging him back as if she was holding on to him for dear life.

She hid her face in the crook of his neck, and he buried his in her hair, inhaling her scent deeply. She let herself weep in his arms, her slender frame shaking. Thranduil, too, was slightly shivering, for the moment was too deep and emotional for them both.

"You said you would never leave me…" she cried and her voice was muffled against the soft fabric of his tunic. "You were all I ever had…"

The Elvenking cradled her head and held her protectively, their stance a pale reflection of one they had held nearly seven hundred years ago.

"I am sorry, meleth nin… I am so sorry", he whispered and kissed the top of her head. "I have disappointed you so greatly… But I love you so deeply, will you not believe me? Will you not forgive the error of my ways? Show some mercy to this old and damaged ellon…" he breathed with a feeling akin to desperation.

Tauriel then looked up and held his face in her palms. His gaze was trembling, all the burdens of his endless years suddenly weighing too heavily upon him.

"If I forgive you, will you too forgive my terrible curse? I take back what I said, I never meant to be vindictive or deliberately hurt you. It was my own recklessness, my quick tongue and my slower mind. You know how I am, you know my faults. Will you forgive me, my lord and love?" she cried.

A light was at that moment lit in the depths of the Elvenking's eyes. "What… what did you say, Tauriel? Have I heard correctly or is this a cruel game?"

"No more cruel games, Thranduil. It is as I said. You might have abandoned any hope that you would ever hear me tell you this, but I do say it. I love you, Thranduil. It took me long to realize what I feel for you is love. But now that I see you again, my heart sings to me in earnest, and I wish to be nowhere else but in your loving embrace. Will you believe me?" she asked him anxiously.

He was downright astounded by her confession, his heart suddenly overflowing with myriads of wonderful feelings. Tighter still he held her in his arms, and with a smile spoke thus:

"I do believe you, Tauriel, for my heart assures me of the truth of your words. Already I feel your _fea_ entwined with mine. I forgive you everything, I begrudge you nothing, and the past I consider now erased, for you have filled my present with gladness and joy beyond measure", he spoke in a deep, velvety voice that was rich with emotion.

"Then I, too, forgive you for all the hurts done, for it is all in the past, and the past shall remain in the past", she responded.

Tauriel then reached and brought his face down to hers, sealing his lips with hers. Thranduil immediately responded, for this was something he deeply craved and yearned for, and kissed her deeply, the longing of all these years of separation suddenly released from his heart. For long they stood and kissed, each lost in the other, their hearts singing in harmony and gladness.

And so it was, on the twenty-eighth of March of the year 3001 of the Third Age of the sun, that at last Thranduil and Tauriel confessed their feelings of love for each other.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Tauriel took Thranduil by the hand and led him to stand near her bed. He was looking at her with questioning eyes and unavowed anticipation, but then her lips were on his again, and a mist of passion, love and lust descended upon his thoughts.

He brought his arms around her and held her firmly against his body, as his mouth was ravishing hers, their tongues dancing, seeking, tasting, and exploring, filling them with new experiences and uncovering secret cravings and passions. Tauriel lifted her hands to his face and caressed his jawline gently, reaching up to his pointy ears. Thranduil shivered under her touch, and broke the kiss for a moment to look into her eyes. He saw his own soul reflected there.

"Do you wish to bond with me, Tauriel?" he asked in a deep, emotional voice.

"If you will have me, Thranduil…" she responded. "My _fea_ is already entwined with yours. Do you feel it?" she whispered and her eyes gleamed.

"Yes… It envelops mine, piercing it with its brightness. The light of the Eldar is so strong in you, meleth nin. It is almost intoxicating", he breathed.

"But I feel yours as you described it, Thranduil. Eru, what has been done unto you, my poor King! Only now do I clearly see your suffering and your burden, the torment and pain you have endured for so long, and are still enduring", she spoke softly, as a tear made its way down on her cheek, lamenting her lover's fate.

His defenses collapsed, naked as his _fea_ was before Tauriel's and his heart overwhelmed with emotion, and he buried his face in her hair, as hot tears fell from his eyes and his shoulders shook under his silent sobs.

They stood there as the elleth held him gently in her arms, providing him with the comfort he so desperately needed.

"I never imagined that the great and prideful Thranduil would cry like an elfling in my arms… as I had once cried in his, so long ago", she whispered tenderly to him.

"The great and prideful Thranduil is but a simple ellon in his loved one's arms…" he replied quietly.

He lifted his face then and looked at her. It was the first time Tauriel saw his gaze so clear and pellucid, as if the shadows had been lifted from the depths of his heart. Thranduil then slowly bent and brushed her lips with his, inviting her in a kiss. Tauriel eagerly complied and kissed him back, and for a moment they were content simply relishing each other's kiss and embrace.

Then Tauriel broke the kiss and took Thranduil's hand in his. She took a step backwards and pulled him with her.

"Come… sit with me", she said with a smile and sat on the edge of her bed.

Thranduil did as she told him and sat beside her. Smiling softly and looking at her with adoration, he caressed Tauriel's fiery tresses and started to slowly undo her braids.

The elleth's eyes darkened with lust as she realized what that move of his signified, so subtle and yet so clear in its message. And she had no objections. So, she decided to mirror his action, reaching to touch and thread her fingers through his fine silver hair as well.

"You never braid your hair…" she observed.

"No… never".

"Why?" she inquired and looked into his eyes.

"Lothrin would often braid my hair, when we were young. After her death, I wished it to remain untouched", he said in a sorrowful tone.

"How about now?" she said and playfully tugged at a strand of his hair.

Thranduil looked at her, unable to hide the dilemma in his expression. He felt torn between the past and the present.

Tauriel read the uncertainty in his gaze, and her smile waned.

"Never mind… I think your hair suits you better this way, free of braids and other embellishments", she said in a low voice.

"I am sorry…"

"No, it is alright. I understand… And I know your love for your wife will always be there… It will always hold a special, sacred place in your heart. I do not seek to replace her, Thranduil. How could I ever?" she said, and Thranduil nodded weakly. Then her stance became more thoughtful. "You have been so persistent all this time to know of my heart, to learn what I feel for you, to know if I am ready to love you and be there for you… But, Thranduil, have you asked yourself if you are truly ready to love another? Can you devote yourself to me without the ghost of your wife hovering over you and shadowing your love always?"

He looked at her and felt unable to respond, as his breath was caught in his throat. Tauriel's words had rang true and it distressed him deeply.

"Can you truly move on from the past? Or have you simply persuaded yourself that you can, led by your passion for me? You desperately want to love and be loved again, but do you think you can handle a new love? A new life?" she asked him with great care and gentleness in her voice, as she brought her palm to cup his cheek.

"I only have to try and see, I suppose", he whispered weakly.

"If we are to pledge ourselves to one another, I wish for us to be happy, Thranduil. But I fear you have forgotten what this means…"

"Will you not help me remember? I want this life with you, Tauriel. I have wanted it for so long…" he pleaded.

"But are you ready for it?" Tauriel insisted.

"If not now, if not with you, then it will never happen", he said gravely, and then decided to speak clearly to Tauriel, so his voice resumed a serious tone. "I ask of you to be with me as a wife. You know my past and present, my good and ugly side. I keep nothing hidden from you. I have placed my heart in your hands, to do as you please. If you accept me as a husband, it is my promise and oath that I will do my best to make you happy in any way that I can, for this future with you is all I wish for. Bear with me in my hours of darkness, beloved; that is my sole request and plea. I do not tell you this will be an easy path. If you accept me, we shall walk together, hand in hand. If you refuse me, I will bother you no more".

He peered deep into her eyes in anticipation, his gaze speaking as eloquently as his tongue, if not more so. Tauriel had listened to his short speech breathless, her heart drumming in her chest and her body shivering in thrill and also anxiety.

"Husband? Wife? Thranduil, your words carry too heavy a meaning. Would you really choose to walk this path with me? What have I ever done to deserve such love and honor?" Her voice trembled, and she took his hand in hers.

"You are the lone star in my vast night, Tauriel. Your spirit and form I have loved for long, your character and will I admired, and your presence I have ever cherished. It is I who is honored to receive your love and care", he responded fervently.

"Oh, Thranduil… And I have loved you for long, and it took me longer still to realize I do! I wish to be by your side, to love you and support you. It is my wish to bond with you, as a wife is bonded to her husband, to love you and you alone and cherish you more than life itself", she replied, as tears of gladness ran from her eyes. "But I in turn ask you to bear with my weaknesses, my sharp tongue and impulse".

Unable to put his feelings into words at the moment, the Elvenking simply nodded and then took his beloved in his arms and held her against his breast, so that she could feel the beat of his heart. His own tears also ran freely now and wetted her hair. They remained like that for quite some time, enveloped in peace and love. Then Tauriel lifted her head to look at him.

"No more tears, my love. We have hurt and cried more than was our fill", she told him tenderly and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"But I will not say do not weep now, for not all tears are an evil", he replied in a gentle and loving voice.

Tauriel then smiled, and he smiled back, their eyes twinkling like the eternal stars in the night sky. And then their grins became wider, for they were overcome with love and joy, and looking at each other's face was enough to bring gladness to their hearts.

Another kiss they shared then, one slow, languid and indulgent kiss that was the herald of what was to follow. Gently Thranduil pushed Tauriel back on the mattress, and he lowered his body over hers. His lips never left hers, for again and again he kissed her, as his hand lovingly caressed her face and hair.

"I have dreamed of holding you and kissing for so long, Tauriel, that I can barely believe it is actually happening now", he spoke in a hoarse and laden with passion voice.

"Then hold me and kiss me to your heart's content, Thranduil, for all I wish is to be in your arms", she responded feistily, and in turn touched and caressed his face and silken hair, as it cascaded like a silver waterfall above her.

He looked at her as if in a daze then, and traced her lower lip with his thumb. Tauriel shivered at this delicate and yet so intimate touch, and a fire of lust and passion was lit inside her. She kissed his finger and then her playful tongue darted out to lick it. Thranduil gasped, once more stunned by her audacious and daring nature, but this time it was most welcome.

Tauriel smiled at his reaction. "Are these traces of shyness I see in your eyes, my lord?" she teased him.

"Is it I who is shy or you who has grown bold indeed?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She chuckled softly. "I have always been like that, you know it".

"Yes… Yes, I do…" he murmured as he kissed her again, impatiently this time. "Show me how bold you have become", he challenged her in a voice heavily lined with lust.

"Gladly, my lord", she sought to consent quickly, and then let her slender fingers slide down the perfect white column of his throat until they reached the bony ridge of his clavicle. First went his cloak as she deftly unclasped it and let it fall from his shoulders. Then she pushed aside the collar of his tunic, which was high, but soft, and left the base of his throat uncovered, and allowed her fingers to creep inside.

A slight tremor coursed through Thranduil's body at her touch, and he closed his eyes, allowing his head to drop to the side. Tauriel took advantage of the opportunity and her lips descended upon his neck, where she kissed and licked. Then she trailed her kiss downward, licking at the hollow of his throat and ever so lightly biting upon his clavicle. He let out a reserved, nigh inaudible moan, as his body was set on fire and his own lust was rapidly increasing.

"Do not hold back, my love… No more restraints", Tauriel whispered to him, and then she tugged at the laces and pulled his tunic open, producing another gasp from Thranduil.

His perfectly sculptured chest was then revealed, flawless alabaster skin covering taut muscle. Tauriel's palms were instantly upon his breast, feeling and caressing with a hunger previously undisclosed to her. She reached upwards again, pushing the tunic entirely off his shoulders, leaving him now naked from the waist up.

"Do I notice some measure of injustice now…" Thranduil said with a wicked smirk as he sat up and pulled his lover with him. "Do you intend to have me entirely naked before you while you remain fully dressed?" he teased her and started seductively tugging at the laces of her simple robe. Realizing that her decency hang on literally one tug of a cord, he lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered, "Are you wearing nothing underneath this robe?" His voice was low and rich, overflowing with lust.

Tauriel turned to his own ear and replied in the same manner. "What about finding out on your own, my love?"

At her encouragement and invitation, he only lightly pulled at the lace, causing it to loosen up. Long fingers then disappeared under the cloth, whose first destination was the back of her neck. There they playfully tousled her hair, and she smiled, as that small movement of his sent waves of excitement through her body. He bent then and kissed her cheek, her mouth, her ear and lastly her perfect throat.

His hand left its place at her neck and slid under her robe. He allowed it to slowly glide downwards until it reached the tender and inviting swell of her breast. He fixed his mesmerized eyes with hers, and she gasped as she felt his fingers lightly grazing and tracing the curve of her breast, causing her nipples to stand to attention. He brushed his thumb over this small hard spot, and Tauriel moaned in pleasure.

Her moan triggered his own lust even further, and he gently caressed and squeezed her firm breast, letting out a groan of passion and impatience. His lips quickly followed his hand, kissing and licking the sensitive flesh beneath them.

"Oh, Thranduil…" Tauriel managed between her soft moans.

Her voice called his attention back to her face, and he kissed her mouth deeply and hungrily, while his strong arms pulled her slender body flush against his. His hand then slid down to her hip and back, where his now intense and needy caress traveled from her upper back all the way down her spine to her bottom and vice versa.

Becoming now demanding herself, Tauriel lifted one leg and brought it over the Thranduil's hip and hooked it behind it, thus bringing their lower bodies in touch. He gasped and moaned as he felt her soft body pressed against his hardened manhood, and brought his hand to grab her thigh, attempting to pull her even closer, if possible.

Tauriel kissed him deeply and swallowed his moan as she grind herself against him. The tension now was so great that the veins on his neck had become palpable and both their breaths came in short gasps. Thranduil then tore the robe from her body in one swift and decisive move, unable to wait anymore before he could feel her naked skin under his greedy touch and hungry gaze. She gasped as she was left naked before him in one instant, and a soft blush arose in her cheeks.

Thranduil noticed her sudden nervousness and smirked, as if pleased with it. It only excited his lust further, and in the next moment his hands were all over her body, touching and caressing, feeling and exploring, while his mouth was kissing, licking, biting and tasting every last exposed inch of it.

She gasped and moaned repeatedly under this untamed, raw passion of his that was not bereft of love or care. For all Thranduil's movements were in reverence and worshipping of her naked form.

"Meleth nin…" he whispered breathlessly, as he looked at her once more. His eyes were two bottomless pits of ice and fire, keepers of unfathomable passions and dreaded truths.

"Love me, Thranduil", she whispered to him fervently. "I would have all of you".

A small nod from his side followed her words, and then her hand moved to his belt and waistband. Using them as leverage, she tugged and pulled him a little closer to her, indicating her intentions. Then she proceeded to bend by his feet and almost reverently remove his boots.

Thranduil's breath was caught in his throat and his heart was beating madly in his chest as Tauriel returned to her former position and her hand reached for him again. She traced a feathery touch over the prominence of his eager hardness beneath the fabric of his breeches, causing him to moan quite audibly this time, all reservation and doubt gone from his stance now.

"Oh, Tauriel… This is such a sweet torment!" he cried and threw his head back, enjoying immensely her ministrations that quickly brought him to the peak of his hunger and want.

When done teasing him from above the material of his trousers, she carefully undid the belt and slowly pulled down on the waistband, lowering his breeches over his thighs and releasing his private parts from their confines. He quickly got rid of his trousers, kicking them to the side, and then they were left with each other, rid of all articles of clothing now.

"Come, my love…" Thranduil invited Tauriel as he sat up on the bed.

There they sat completely naked under each other's loving and lustful gaze, and a smile graced both their faces, as they took their time to take in the image of the other, for the first time beheld in nudity. There was no sign of shame or bashfulness now, only a look of mutual trust and tender intimacy on both their faces.

For the naked form was not offensive to the elven eye; it was accepted, admired, rejoiced and celebrated, as it was the natural form Eru Iluvatar saw fit to grace them with and allow them to walk the world in. More importantly, it was the _hroa_ , which housed the _fea_. Nothing about it was considered obscene or vulgar, for it was with their naked bodies the elves expressed their highest and most intimate kind of love.

An elf never lay with another if they did not share feelings of love. They were not driven simply by lust, as it was often the case with mortal men. For men, it was natural and understandable, as the need and wish to perpetuate their short-lived kind was guiding and dominant.

But elves lived forever; they need not produce children to continue their race. So, they only mated when they really shared feelings of love, and birthed offspring only when they wished to.

So it was now, with the Elvenking and the former Captain sharing those unique moments of love and bonding under the guidance of their hearts and their _fear_.

Thranduil then reached for his beloved and took her in his arms, lifting her slightly from the mattress and bringing her to settle in his lap. Tauriel brought her long legs around his waist and leaned close, allowing their intimate parts to touch. She lifted her bottom a little and leaned closer still, demanding a fervent kiss from her lover's lips, as his strong arms held her firmly against him.

Her wet heat rubbed gently against his throbbing hardness, causing them both to let out moans of pleasure and need. Thranduil then brought his hand between them and reached low to touch her. Tauriel held her breath as she felt his fingers caressing her sensitive folds and sliding between them, sending jolts of excitement through her body. Wishing to return the favor, she did the same and touched him, brushing the sensitive tip with her thumb and massaging his length.

He gasped in her kiss and released her mouth, as the sensation was overwhelming. In response, she bit lightly on the tip of his ear.

"Tauriel…" he rasped. "I have not touched anyone… in nearly two thousand years", he confessed as another shudder of pleasure surged through him.

"And I have not touched anyone, ever", she told him in a soft, low voice.

"Meleth nin… It is only you I love and would have. Let us be one, now and forever", he pleaded, and she nodded.

She readjusted then her body slightly and slowly let herself sink upon his hardened length. Her body was eager to receive him, already trembling with indescribable lust and anticipation.

Thranduil waited in agonizing restraint as she accommodated herself, his control threatening to break and his resolve to falter at any moment. Feelings he thought he had forgotten awoke in his immortal body, as the elleth slowly took his entire length in a slow but steady motion.

She had her arms thrown around her lover's shoulders and was now holding on to him, as this new sensation was stretching her physically and sentimentally. No pain felt she, as elves' bodies were much more durable than human ones, and soon she was accustomed to this novel but wonderful feeling of being one with her beloved.

With a final moan and a sigh Tauriel relaxed in his embrace, all of his length now buried within her. She had her eyes closed all this time, and now she opened them and looked at Thranduil. He was watching her with great intensity, small beads of sweat having already formed upon his brow. She realized then that he strove to keep his passion under control, and smiled at him.

"Thank you, mell nin, for being so patient with me", Tauriel told him softly and wiped the sweat from his brow.

Thranduil allowed a wide smile, and then he held her tightly in his arms again, as his hips gave the slightest of movement against hers. She instantly responded in kind, following him in his passion. He began gently thrusting in and out of her then, and soon she fell in harmony with his rhythm. Her body accepted and welcomed this newfound kind of pleasure and excitement, and before long a profound tension and heat started building up in her lower abdomen, making her vision clouded and driving her movements wild. She danced passionately in his lap, riding him closer and closer to their mutual destination.

And then Thranduil felt he could take no more of her having the lead of their union, lest he came undone then and there. With a swift movement he laid Tauriel back on the mattress and he was above her, not breaking their coupling for one second.

A soft gasp and a slightly surprised smile was the elleth's reaction regarding this sudden change of position. Her lover smiled back at her and sought to kiss her again, as he began a new round of thrusts, having their union under his control now.

Tauriel took advantage of this and relaxed in his embrace, bringing her legs tighter around his hips, urging him to deepen his thrusts even more, as her back arched off the mattress to allow him better access to her core. His movements gradually quickened and he let his head fall back, eyes closed, as a soft flush came and spread upon his chest and neck.

Tauriel watched him in awe and fascination as he was thrusting, moaning and panting in his passion. Her breath was caught, her eyes had darkened with lust and want for this ancient being that loved her, had pledged himself to her and was now becoming one with her. She shuddered and trembled, feeling her release nearing now, and she kept her eyes trained on the epitome of masculine beauty that Thranduil was to her.

"Thranduil… mell nin…" she managed between gasps, and he opened his eyes to focus on her.

The Elvenking then lowered his body on hers and kissed her in a rapture and a sexual haze, as his thrusts were becoming now erratic and shallower, a sign that his own climax was approaching.

And then she was brought over the edge, and a million of stars exploded before her eyes as wave after wave her orgasm shook her very existence. It was a blinding, searing experience that left Tauriel breathless and shivering in Thranduil's arms. Driven mad by the sensation of her intense pleasure, he only needed a few more thrusts to follow her jump into the abyss of utter bliss and excitement. He groaned and sighed as he released his hot seed inside her, his whole body tense and pulsating.

Tauriel held his face in her palms and kissed him tenderly as he slowly came out this reverie and let his body relax and softly cover hers. She held him as they were both trying to catch their breaths, and for a few moments the only sound they could hear was their beating hearts.

"Meleth nin…" then whispered Thranduil to his lover and turned his soft gaze to hers, as he slowly rolled to the side.

Tauriel lazily turned and took his hand in hers, a smile of utmost bliss gracing her beautiful face.

"I have no words for this…" she started. "Only that I love you". Her gaze was sincere and deep.

The Elvenking gathered her in his arms then and placed a soft kiss upon her brow. "And I you".

"Stay with me tonight. Will you?" she asked him expectantly.

"I would wish to be nowhere else but in your arms, dearest one", he replied quietly and kissed her lips.

She responded to his kiss and, before long, a renewed desire came upon them. Limbs tangling, bodies uniting, hearts beating together and _fear_ entwining, they gave themselves unto the highest sentiment of the living beings once more, and many more times during their first night of their new life.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

By dawn the following morning Thranduil stirred and awoke. A sweet sensation of content crept all over him as he realized that Tauriel was cuddled against him, her back slightly curved against his chest, both of them safely tucked under the plush covers. He had one arm draped over her body and she was holding his hand in her slumber.

Inadvertently, the Elvenking smiled and nuzzled his face in the curve between her neck and her shoulder, inhaling her scent, and gently pulled her body even closer. This small movement was enough for Tauriel to softly sigh and open her eyes sleepily.

She turned slightly in his embrace, and smiled. "Thranduil…" she murmured with half-lidded eyes.

"Good morning, meleth nin", he told her in a deep, low voice and tenderly caressed her cheek.

Tauriel smiled and relaxed under his touch, bringing her own hand to rest against his chest. She tilted her head upwards to face him, the last traces of sleepiness gone from her features now.

"It is true then… Last night, everything that happened… It was not a dream. We are together…" she whispered and looked at him with a light in her eyes.

"Yes… And it is the only truth that I care for now", Thranduil replied and bent his head to drop a feathery kiss on her lips.

Tauriel immediately responded, taking the time to savor and enjoy her lover's kiss. After a short while, the King broke the kiss, albeit reluctantly. His expression had changed into a thoughtful one. Tauriel looked at him with inquisitive eyes.

"What is it, my lord?"

"I fear Legolas or my men will be looking for me. I have not returned to my chambers or shown up publicly since sundown yesterday", he explained.

Tauriel could not suppress a chuckle, causing Thranduil to raise an eyebrow in question.

"Let them wonder where you might be! Does the Elvenking not deserve some hours of bliss and respite?" she asked with a smile on her lips.

"Well, he probably does…" Thranduil agreed and caressed her hair as his eyes traveled all over her beautiful, immaculate face. "But this does not negate the need of an explanation", he added.

"What do you mean? I do not think you would tell them the truth right away", Tauriel worried and sat up.

Thranduil also sat in the bed. "I did not say that, meleth nin. We will indeed need to reveal our relationship to the people at some point, but I do think it is still too early for something like that. We have just admitted our feelings for each other. And there is no need to rush. We have plenty of time. We have to plan carefully and be discreet, at least for now", he told her and brought his palm to softly caress her naked back.

Tauriel turned her face to his side. "I see…" she sighed in relief. "Ever the politician, you are… used to thinking of everything beforehand", she told him with a small smile.

"It has to be so, dearest one", he murmured and kissed the tip of her ear.

A shiver ran down Tauriel's spine and she leaned backwards, resting her head on his shoulder. After a few moments in thoughtful silence, she spoke.

"But we should tell Legolas", said the elleth.

Thranduil contemplated her words for a while. "I agree. The court and the rest can wait, but he should know".

"It will surely come as a grant surprise to him", commented Tauriel in a concerned tone. "I am not even certain he will be entirely happy. What if his old feelings for me inspire some jealousy or contempt in his heart?" she worried.

"I certainly hope this will not happen. Thankfully, he has a romantic interest of his own. Are you aware of that? If his love is real, our relationship will not displease him", said Thranduil in a steady tone.

"Yes, he has spoken to me of a maiden called Lossendis five years ago, when they first met. He introduced her to me during another visit of his. She seems genuinely nice and affable. Perhaps what they feel for each other is real, but, I must say, you do sound awfully optimistic… I would have expected you to be more worried of the matter", Tauriel told him and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

Thranduil's brow furrowed, but his words revealed little discontent. "Of course I am worried about how Legolas will receive this news. But, on the other hand, he is grown and wise. He is no child. I do not think he would deny his father one last chance in happiness".

"I do hope you are right..." Tauriel sighed, unable to shake the feeling of disquiet completely. "Do you think we should speak to him together, or would you rather perform this task on your own?" she asked him.

"Let me handle this, Tauriel. I will speak to him. It is best if his learns of our love from me", Thranduil voiced his opinion.

"As you wish, my lord", she replied, and then cupped his cheek and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

The Elvenking took his beloved in his arms and kissed her fervently. Desire was stirring in their bodies as their heartbeats quickened and their kiss grew deeper and more demanding. But then Thranduil broke the kiss and spoke.

"Oh Tauriel… I wish I could lie with you and love you now, but please find it in your heart to forgive me that I must leave", he told her apologetically.

"I know, mell nin. Worry not, I will not stand in your way this time".

She had intended that to sound amusing, but, unfortunately, the outcome was the opposite. Her words instantly awoke painful memories, and both their faces soon fell. The Elvenking averted his gaze and his face resumed a distressed expression.

Tauriel spoke again, wishing to make amends. "That was foolish of me to say. Forgive me, my lord", she spoke regretfully.

Thranduil slowly returned his eyes to her. He inhaled deeply and in the end managed a small smile. "It is alright, there is nothing to forgive. We have to learn to live with the past, and much has transpired between us. We have to accept things as they are", he replied to her and his voice carried undeniable wisdom.

Tauriel nodded in agreement. "You are right. We should not allow old memories to affect us and our love", she said and smiled softly.

In response, Thranduil leaned close and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"I must go now, my love".

"Go then. I myself am on duty today, so I do not expect to see you during the day… but in the evening perhaps?" she asked with hope in her eyes.

"I will find you as soon as I can. I intend to speak to Legolas at some point today", said Thranduil as he stood from the bed and began gathering his articles of clothing, which were carelessly scattered on the floor.

The gentle light of early morning that came through the window illuminated the Elvenking's naked form, as he slowly dressed himself. Tauriel was watching him in a reverie, admiring the soft glow of his skin as the rays of the sun fell upon him. His long hair curtained his face as he bent to put on his boots, and the light breeze made those silver strands dance _. How much I love him…_ _How much I have loved him for all these years, and it is only now that I admit it,_ Tauriel thought. _If only everything goes well, for once,_ she inwardly wished.

Then Thranduil was dressed and ready, and he walked close to the bed where a still naked Tauriel was seated.

"I will miss you dearly, Captain. My thought will be with you always", he told her softly and then kissed her lips. "Farewell", he said and made for the door.

"Farewell, my lord and love", the elleth replied and watched him as he exited her chambers.

A sigh escaped her lips then, and she allowed herself to fall back on the mattress _. If only everything goes well this time…_

* * *

It was a beautiful day, with the sun shining brightly over the valley of Imladris. The spring breeze carried countless intoxicating flowery scents, the birds were chirping in the trees, and the minstrels had taken harp and flute and were merrily singing in the porches and the streets, celebrating spring.

In such a happy gathering stood Legolas, and on his arm leaned Lossendis. He was dressed in royal blues that accentuated his bright eyes and wore a thin silver circlet on his pale blond hair. The elf maiden wore a long dress of the palest pink, the color striking a contrast with her dark hair, which was braided and done up, allowing a few stray locks to descend on her shoulders. Both of the elves were smiling, and the elleth was even singing along with the minstrels. A beautiful, ornate marble fountain stood behind them, and a few benches were around it, most of them occupied by elves, who had gathered around the musicians. There it was that Thranduil found his son, and as he walked among the residents of Rivendell they drew aside to allow the king passage.

Intricately enough he was dressed, having exchanged the simple tunic of the previous day for long robes of grey with a silver embroidered leaf pattern along the hem, sleeves and collar. On his head he wore a silver crown of interwoven leaves.

The commotion of formal greetings and deep bows attracted the Prince's attention, who turned to the side only to see his father approaching. A soft smile graced his face and he walked forward to meet him.

"Ada! Good morning. It is a joy to see you here", Legolas said and extended an arm to his father in greeting.

"Legolas", Thranduil acknowledged his presence with a tilt of his head. "I was indeed hoping to see you".

"This is a wonderful coincidence, for I was looking to meet you as well. I have not seen you since yesterday afternoon. I assume you and lord Elrond have discussed politics for endless hours!" Legolas said and softly chuckled.

The Elvenking only smiled faintly, thinking that his son's assumptions were indeed very far from the truth. Then he noticed the beautiful elleth that was quietly standing in the background, but had her bright eyes trained on them with great interest.

"It matters not", he said nonchalantly and a wave of his elegant hand accompanied his words. Then he lowered his head closer to his son's ear and whispered, "Will you not introduce me to the elleth standing behind you? I do assume she is someone important". His countenance was pleasant, as he smiled and looked at his son with a raised dark eyebrow.

"Oh, of course!" Legolas exclaimed. "In fact, this is the reason I wished to talk to you".

Then he took a few steps closer to Lossendis and motioned for his father to follow. The elleth came and stood next to Legolas, while a kind smile graced her flawless features. Thranduil stood opposite them in his best regal posture and had his hands loosely tied in front of his body. He assumed a formal yet gentle demeanor, not wishing to look very intimidating to the maiden.

"Father, this is Lossendis, whom I have told you of", spoke Legolas and touched her shoulder lightly. "And, Lossendis, this is my father, King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm", he stated with pride evident in his voice.

"It is a pleasure to have made your acquaintance, my lord", she said in polite tones and bowed to the Elvenking.

"The pleasure is mine, young Lossendis, for your impressive beauty and refined manner would go unnoticed only by a fool", replied the King with a small grin.

Legolas smiled as he heard the compliments his father offered to Lossendis, obviously pleased with the words he had chosen.

"You flatter me, my lord. I stand in awe of your magnificence", commented the elleth and blushed a little.

"No flattery it is but the truth. Come now, I would have both of you narrate your first meeting to me", Thranduil said as he moved to take a seat upon a bench.

The young pair went and sat on the bench as well, and for the next hour they kept the King busy with their narrations and descriptions. He did not mind the distraction from his original intent. On the contrary, he welcomed it. He was listening to them with interest, for it was a joy for him to see his son so happy and joyful and to learn more about his life during his time away from Mirkwood. And, frankly enough, he found Lossendis quite likeable and a suitable match for Legolas. Both of them looked truly in love with each other.

When at last the conversation waned, Thranduil stood and announced his departure.

"Thank you for your company, young ones. You will excuse my withdrawal now, as lunch time approaches. Lossendis, I am indeed pleased to have met you. And Legolas, come find me on the east porch later. I have something on my mind I wish to discuss with you".

"Yes, ada. I will come to you in the afternoon", said Legolas, while curiosity was ignited inside him.

"Good day, my lord", said Lossendis and offered him another curtsy.

Thranduil nodded to them both and then left.

* * *

The east porch was, naturally, located at the eastern side of Elrond's halls and on the highest floor. It had a very privileged view of the great waterfall of Rivendell, and many elves chose this spot when they needed inspiration for their musical or literature works.

There was now Thranduil, resting on a luxurious recliner and enjoying a glass of red wine along with some berries and cheese. His gaze was lost in the rapidly cascading waters and his thoughts were wandering here and there, from Tauriel to his son and from his realm to the rising Shadow. It was with surprise that he realized for once after so long his mind did not linger in the past and his wife's death. He smiled faintly, thinking that perhaps this is how it felt to slowly heal.

A low creak of the door opening and Legolas' arrival interrupted the Elvenking's thoughts. As he turned to see who had come, he was glad to recognize his son.

"Father", started the Prince. "You wished to see me, and I am here".

"Yes, ion nin. Come here, sit with me", Thranduil replied and gestured towards another recliner.

Legolas went and sat opposite his father, while the older ellon poured the younger one a glass of wine and offered it to him.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about? Is something wrong?" the Prince worried.

"No, nothing is wrong".

"What then? Is it about Lossendis? Have you perhaps not liked her?" he continued with his questions, anxiety palpable in his voice.

Thranduil sat up and laughed quietly. "Cease your silly questioning now, Legolas. Why must you think that I dislike her?"

"Because you have not really liked anyone before…" the Prince retorted, but not in a disrespectful tone. He spoke rather reluctantly.

Thranduil instantly remembered how his son used to pine for Tauriel, while he had been strongly opposed to a relationship forming between them. His mood soured a little, but he tried not to show it.

"That might be true – or not – but it regards the past", he spoke cryptically. "And, since you asked, let me describe to you my impression of her. Lossendis is a nice elleth, intelligent and beautiful, well-mannered and also noble. I have nothing against your relationship. On the contrary, I give you my blessing. If that is the elleth your heart has chosen, then so be it, Legolas. Be happy. I will support your choices, as I should have always done…" he said and his voice trailed off in the end.

"Thank you, ada. Your words mean a lot to me. I love Lossendis and she loves me back… But if she is not the reason you wanted to talk to me about, then what is it? The politics you discussed with lord Elrond, perhaps?" the Prince inquired.

"No, this is not what I wish to discuss with you, Legolas. Although I believe that perhaps you should care a little more about politics", he commented.

"Ah, you know already that I am not fond of the subject", said Legolas and sighed in mild distress.

"That I know… But a time may come when you will be called to rule in my stead. You have to be prepared", Thranduil spoke solemnly.

"I am not entirely unprepared. I may not be as great a politician as you are, but I at least know the basics. And my services will not be needed; the Woodland Realm has its King and I am sure he does not intend to resign his rule", Legolas said with a raised eyebrow and a small smile.

"Indeed I do not intend to abandon my kingdom, or ever leave this Middle Earth. But if a war is coming, as Elrond says, and we have no choice but to fight, you need to be ready for whatever happens", the Elvenking forewarned him.

"Father… do not speak thus", said Legolas as a shadow fell upon his features.

"It is an unpleasant thing to say or think about, but wars are perilous and beset with unpredictable events. When we marched against Barad-Dur, the army of Greenwood under my father's command, I could have never imagined he would be amongst the first to fall. I was forced to take up the mantle of leadership and continue the fight, for the war went on for seven more long years. Nobody asked me if I was ready to do it, Legolas. I was just expected to do my duty", Thranduil narrated mournfully as he reminisced upon those dark times.

"I have not found you again, father, only to lose you", said Legolas, his voice laden with emotion.

"This is not ours to decide, son. I am simply telling you this because I wish you to be ready, if anything of the sort happens", the Elvenking said and then stood. He slowly walked to the balustrade and looked over to the waterfall, holding his glass in his hand. "But this is not what I wished to talk to you about either".

Legolas came to stand beside him. "What is it, then?"

Thranduil pondered for a while how to begin. "It regards _me_ , ion nin. Would you consider it outrageous if I sought to find love and companionship again?" he asked and turned his face to Legolas. Anxiety was written all over it, and it did not go unnoticed by the younger ellon.

"Do you mean to love another elleth… after mother's death?" asked Legolas with a startle. He would never have expected this to be the issue his father wanted to talk about.

"Yes…"

"Well, I guess I would not find it outrageous, ada. You have spent so many years in pain and solitude that you have become icy, aloof even, and isolated. I would have no objection if you found an elleth that managed to warm your heart again and give you peace and joy", the Prince responded earnestly.

Thranduil smile and nodded, glad that it was going smoothly so far.

"And what if I have already found someone I love and am loved by?" the King asked, worry again lining his tone.

"Speak clearly, father. Have you truly found an elleth to love?" asked Legolas with a hint of doubt in his voice.

"I have, ion nin", replied Thranduil and managed a small, uncertain smile.

"Ada, this is merry news! Why had you not told me sooner?" Legolas said joyfully.

"First, because I needed to be sure of what it is exactly that is happening between me and her, and secondly…" Thranduil hesitated. His heart was beating like a drum at his son's possible oncoming response. "And secondly because I was not sure you would approve of my relationship with this certain elleth".

Legolas' brow furrowed in concern. "Who is she, then?"

Thranduil took a deep breath. "Tauriel", he spoke in almost a whisper.

Legolas was flabbergasted, eyes open wide and mouth agape. "Tauriel?"

"Yes, ion nin. Tauriel".

"This is unbelievable… And you mean to tell me she loves you back? After all that has happened?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, she loves me back".

"But you banished her, and she threatened your life! Not to mention your love for mother and her love for Kili. Have you managed to overcome all this?" Legolas was unable to wrap his head about it.

"We are trying to". Thranduil kept his responses short and plain.

"I cannot believe it!" Legolas exclaimed, and then suddenly he burst into laughter. "Surely you must be jesting!"

Thranduil looked at him with a flare of anger in his nearly silver eyes. "I am being serious, Legolas. Is my love so ludicrous and contemptible to you? Show some respect!" he demanded.

"But father, you have always thought of her as lowly. You deterred me and her for falling for each other, claiming that she was no match for me in terms of station and descent", Legolas defended himself. But then a dark thought descended upon his brow. "Unless…" he whispered and his face turned very serious, every hint of mirth and jest gone from it.

Thranduil looked down in shame. He knew it would come to that eventually.

"Unless you acted out of jealousy back then! Is this true? Were you in love with her all this time?" the Prince asked the King with great intensity in his voice.

"Yes, ion nin", he admitted in a low voice.

"This _is_ contemptible! You would not allow your own son happiness simply because your selfish feelings got in the way!" cried Legolas in anger and hurt.

"Legolas, try to understand. Please…" Thranduil pleaded, feeling tears forming in his eyes.

"What is there to understand? I only understand that you resorted to lies in order to serve your selfish ways. If you could not have her, then no one should... not even your own son!" Legolas went on relentlessly, fuming with rage.

"Forgive me, Legolas! Forgive me, ion nin!" Thranduil cried in agony.

"And how glad and relieved you must now feel, now that I am out of the way…" the young ellon seethed, disregarding his father's apology completely. "I wonder what you would do, were I still in love with Tauriel. What new method you would come up with in order to keep us apart!" His brow was furrowed and a deep frown was upon his face.

A tear ran on Thranduil's cheek, but he spoke not, for he knew he much deserved Legolas' reaction. He had allowed his selfishness and narrow-mindedness to hurt both his son and Tauriel and to create rifts between him and them.

"You truly are unbelievable, father. I do not see how Tauriel found it in her heart to love you, if indeed she loves you and it is not a product of your shaken mind and wistful thoughts", said Legolas in lower but still angry tones.

"Legolas… Do not be so cruel", Thranduil said brokenly.

"Perhaps then I am a little like you, father", Legolas spat.

"Then do not make the same mistakes I did. Please, son", he pleaded.

The Prince's stance softened somewhat. "I am not opposed to you being happy with whomever it may be. I would not mind this one being Tauriel, had you but been honest with me back then. It is the lie that hurts me, father", he said in sorrow and his eyes glistened with tears.

"What were I to tell you, Legolas, when I myself was not sure of what I felt? You are right that my words and methods were undignified, but I knew no better then. Darkness is ever-present in my _fea_ , and it often interferes with my thoughts and influences my actions. I know I have hurt you terribly, and if I could take back all those lies, I would… but I cannot. I have only my apology to offer and my unconditional love, now that I see the error of my ways. Will you shun me, ion nin?" His voice was deep and desperate and his words heartfelt.

Legolas sighed and looked away. He felt very distressed and troubled. "I know not, ada. I need time to think of everything you said: you and Tauriel in love, you being jealous of me once, your selfish lies… It is all too much. And I do not know what to make of it all. Do what you will, but leave me be for now. We will speak of that again once we have returned to Mirkwood".

"As you wish, ion nin. I am so sorry", murmured Thranduil and looked at his son with soulful eyes.

The Prince gave him one last glance before leaving, and it was cold and distant. Thranduil saw his own self in his son's gaze, and he shuddered. He knew very well what profound pain and anger could do to someone, and he did not want Legolas to follow in his steps.

Deeply troubled and thoughtful, the Elvenking was left alone in the east porch. All at once, the sound of the waterfall had become deafening.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Tauriel was lost in the pages of a book about the Hidden City of Gondolin, reading by the light of a candle, when she heard a knock on her doors. She put the book aside and moved to answer the door, expecting to see Thranduil.

But it was Elladan.

She stood there gazing at him incredulously, forgetting her manners for a short while.

"Hello, Tauriel. Am I bothering you?"

"Umm… No, no… Come in, Elladan", she stuttered and then gestured towards the room, allowing him to walk inside. "What brings you here at this hour?" she inquired, having recomposed herself.

"A time of leisure and a wish to see you", the ellon spoke and smiled softly. "Am I unwelcome?"

"No… May I offer you some wine?" she asked and made for the cabinet where she kept it. "Please take a seat", she spoke from over her shoulder.

Elladan sat on a chair by the table and watched her as she poured them both a glass of wine.

"Thank you. You are most courteous a host", he said and smiled again.

Tauriel nodded, trying to hide her discomfort. She did not dislike Elladan, but she did not share his feelings.

"I have seen so little of you lately, Tauriel", Elladan said quietly.

"I have been busy with my duties, as have you", she responded a bit more sternly than she had really wished.

"But I wish I could see you more", he went on.

Tauriel shifted in her chair in uneasiness. "Elladan…" she said and turned her apologetic eyes to him.

He saw her expression, and his mood was ruined. "I know you do not feel for me as I feel for you… But will you not give me a chance to prove myself? To win your heart and make you happy?"

"It is not that simple. We cannot rule our hearts, Elladan…" she spoke softly.

"You always look so distant and troubled, Tauriel. Are you still in mourning over that lost love of yours?" he inquired, while his eyes glistened.

"I will forever mourn him", she replied, choosing to follow the safer path of rejecting Elladan on grounds of Kili's death rather than tell him of her love for Thranduil.

The son of Elrond sighed. "I thought it might be so".

Tauriel nodded and then looked away. A moment of silence fell upon them.

"You deserve someone who will make you truly happy, Elladan. I cannot do this. I cannot be your One", Tauriel said in a low voice.

"But I wish it were you. If only you tried a little to leave the past behind…" said Elladan and made to touch Tauriel's hand, but at that moment another knock was heard at the door.

Tauriel's heart leapt to her mouth, certain now that her new visitor would be Thranduil; she had been expecting him, after all.

"Excuse me", she said to the ellon and walked to the door.

As soon as it was open, Thranduil's tall figure appeared. He smiled softly at her sight and his lines of worry eased a little.

"Tauriel, my-" he started but the elleth quickly interrupted him.

"What an honor to receive you here, lord Thranduil", she said somewhat theatrically and bowed. Then she stepped aside, allowing him to look inside the room and see that they were not alone.

Momentarily startled by her formality, he soon realized the reason why, as a peek inside the room revealed a seated Elladan with a glass of wine in his hand.

Said ellon was quick to rise to his feet as soon as he heard Tauriel announcing the King's presence.

"My lord Thranduil", said he and bowed.

"Elladan, son of Elrond. I did not look to see you here", the Elvenking spoke bitterly, as suspicion and jealously quickly crept inside his heart.

"I would very much say the same, my lord", replied the ellon.

"I came to reclaim _something of mine_ ", he said with narrowed eyes.

Seeing Elladan's puzzled expression, Tauriel intervened before things went awry.

"Just an old… relic I had in my possession since my days in Mirkwood", she said and smiled awkwardly.

Thranduil just stood there, his expression unreadable and his gaze icy. If looks could cut, Elladan would be now lying on the floor bleeding.

"Well then, I shall leave you to your business. It was not my intention to tarry long, anyway", Elladan said and then he turned to Tauriel. "I wished to tell you, Tauriel, that tomorrow morning I am leaving. I will be gone together with Elrohir to the Trollshaws, where some kinsmen of ours are encamped in Thorenhad, north to the gorges of Bruinen. We will be gone for around a month, I estimate… or until our mission there is carried out. I simply wanted to bid you farewell, Tauriel. And to tell you that I will miss you", he said in an emotional voice and looked down.

The elleth's heart went out for him, and she smiled faintly. "Take care of yourself and your brother, and be careful, Elladan. Imladris needs you to return safe and sound", she told him.

Thranduil was watching them and the well of his patience was now running dry.

"Farewell", Elladan told her and then he made for the door. "Good night, King Thranduil", he said and then exited the room. Tauriel went and closed the door behind him.

As soon as Elladan's footsteps were to be heard no more, Thranduil rushed and lifted Tauriel in his arms, kissing her fervently and pinning her against the door. She gasped at the ferocity of his aggression, and, although she enjoyed his fervor, she placed a delicate finger on his lips, breaking the kiss.

"Now, is someone trying to prove a point here?" she teased him.

"How dare he speak to you such endearments! Had he tarried but a minute more, I would have separated his head from his shoulders!" Thranduil declared in boiling rage and passion.

"Come on, he neither said nor did anything wrong", she tried to calm him.

"But he fancies you", he commented with his brow still furrowed.

"So?"

"That is reason enough for me to behead him!" he exclaimed and pulled her again in his arms.

"You are truly mad!" laughed Tauriel and then kissed her lover with all the fervor of her heart.

A while later, when this surge of passion was sated with ardent kisses and tight hugs, and both elves had somewhat cooled, they sat by the table to speak.

"I do not suppose anything has ever transpired between you and him…" spoke Thranduil suspiciously.

"No, mell nin, never. I have never felt anything of the romantic sort for Elladan. My heart belongs to another. And he is tall, beautiful, and majestic", she said tenderly and took his hand in hers.

Thranduil's heart was warmed upon hearing her words, and a soft smile graced his face. "As his heart belongs to you only".

Both leaned closer for another kiss, which was sweet and slow this time. Then Tauriel spoke.

"How has your day been? Have you perhaps managed to find and speak to Legolas?"

Thranduil sighed and leaned back in his chair. All feelings of warmth were eradicated as he remembered his earlier exchange with his son.

"As a matter of fact I have. But it did not go as well as I had initially hoped", he said and lightly tapped his hand on the table, looking thoughtful. Tauriel was waiting for him to go on. "Although he is not opposed to us being together, he was deeply hurt by my lies, when I tried to dissuade you and him from falling for each other. I had been so selfish, Tauriel, and Legolas has every right to feel hurt. But for now he does not wish to speak to me. He said he needs time to think about it all".

"I think Legolas' reaction is entirely understandable, Thranduil. What had you expected? Him to tell you that he does not mind you having deceived him? I understand this feeling all too well. Your selfishness and jealousy led you to do much damage".

Thranduil's hopeless gaze fell to the floor. "Is there nothing I can do to repair it?"

"Of course there is. I have forgiven you. Do you think your own son will not? Just give him the time he needs", Tauriel wisely advised him.

The Elvenking nodded. "What a terrible person I am", he grieved.

"Do not say that", she said as she stood and came to stand behind his chair, placing her palms on his shoulders. She started to slowly massage him. "You are not terrible. Neither are you perfect. But I love you. After all we have been through, all the rights and the wrongs, I love you. Does that count for nothing?" she whispered in his ear.

He turned then his face to hers. "It counts for everything, meleth nin", he told her and kissed her.

"Relax now, and let me massage some of your tension away. Would you stand, please?" Tauriel said and then proceeded to undo the laces of his robes and push the garment from his shoulders, leaving him naked under her gaze and touch.

He shivered a little as the breeze of late evening blew in from the window and caressed his skin. But then he sat again in the chair and submitted himself to his beloved's wondrous touch. Soon he felt relaxed and even let out soft moans as she continued massaging his shoulders.

"It seems to me you are feeling better, my lord", she said in a pleasant tone.

"Indeed I am. Thank you, meleth nin", he said and stood. Then he took her hands in his. "But so wrapped up in my own dealings of the day I was that I did not even ask you of your day. This is inexcusable of me. But I will make it up to you", he said and in a swift movement he lifted her in his arms.

Tauriel gasped and chuckled. "Thranduil!"

He then walked to the bed and placed her carefully on the mattress. "Tell me, beloved, how has your day been?" he asked her as he bent low and began unbuckling and removing her boots.

"It has been rather uneventful…" she began, but her tone was suddenly raised. "My love, please! There is no need to serve me like that!" she cried while a blush rose to her cheeks.

"I will serve you in any way I see fit", he said in a tone indicating that he would not suffer any dispute.

Then he grabbed hold of her legs and slowly moved his hands upwards, from her ankles to her calves and from her knees to her thighs and hips. There he hooked his fingers beneath her waistband, and pulled at it. He slid her breeches over her legs and then tossed them aside.

He crawled upwards then, kissing her legs as he went, until he made a stop at her private parts, now exposed under his hungry gaze.

"Thranduil?" she called at him nervously, but he disregarded it and buried his face between her thighs.

Lightly he licked and tasted her, causing her to moan instantly. "Just relax, beloved", he told her in a husky voice. Then he proceeded with the ministrations of his tongue, licking and exciting her sensitive parts, until Tauriel was panting and shuddering, arching her back, as her body longed for more.

Thranduil's own lust had risen greatly, and he enjoyed her sight of writhing immensely. Kneeling on the bed, he came above her and gently nudged her legs open. He then positioned himself between them and lowered his weight on her body.

Tauriel was squirming with anticipation and lust, already grinding her eager and ready body against his evident arousal. He groaned and sighed, but deliberately prolonged the moment of their union. Reaching up, he undid the laces of her tunic and opened it in the front. Her firm breasts became the next object of his adoration, as he tenderly kneaded and caressed them, while slowly rubbing his throbbing member against her entrance.

"I have wanted this all day long…" he murmured in a daze. "I have been thinking of this moment since morning…"

"So have I, Thranduil. Love me, mell nin. Tarry no longer, for I cannot take it!" she cried and pushed her hips against his.

He allowed himself to enter her then, and shuddered as her tight heat enveloped him. His senses were lost in that unique feeling of being one with his beloved, and he bent his face down and kissed her deeply as their bodies united.

Tauriel brought her arms around him to hold him tightly against her breast, and hooked her legs around his hips. The Elvenking's thrusts became deeper and more urgent as their passion built up continuously, and the otherwise silent room was now filled with their pants and moans of pleasure.

Thranduil held her face and looked at her intently as he made love to her. "I love you, Tauriel", he breathed.

"I know", she whispered and pulled his face down for a fervent kiss.

Soon enough their pleasure reached its peak, and they both reached their climaxes one after the other. Breathless and panting they then lay in each other's arms, enveloped in the warmth of their love.

"I want this to last forever", Thranduil said with some urgency in his tone. "I can never lose you. I will not bear it. I will not survive".

"What is this sudden talk of doom, mell nin? I am here, you will not lose me", she tried to ease his worry.

"That is what Lothrin used to say…" he sighed and rolled to his side.

"Her death was a tragic misfortune… But it had nothing to do with her words. She wanted to be with you forever, Thranduil. She loved you. Had she not proved this in the most absolute, indisputable way in the end?" Tauriel spoke and caressed his cheek. A tear wetted her finger.

"Yes…"

"You miss her a lot…" she murmured sorrowfully. "Do you miss her even when you are with me?" she added in a small, pained voice.

Thranduil turned to look at her. "No, my sweet love. In our hours of love and passion I am yours only. Do not despair, do not feel sorrow. My love for you is no lesser than my love for Lothrin had been. And for the first time today her tragic death did not occur to my mind, not until now. For the first time in nearly two thousand years, Tauriel. And I have you to thank for it. You are mending my broken heart. You are healing me", he spoke softly and tenderly, as fresh tears brimmed in his eyes, only this time they were not tears of sorrow but of joy and relief.

Tauriel was deeply moved by his small and yet important confession, and nuzzled her face against his neck. "I love you too. More than I loved Kili. More than I could have ever loved anyone".

Then she fell silent, but her thoughts did not. _And that is why I will take matters into my own hands, mell nin._

* * *

By afternoon the following day Tauriel found Legolas. He was sitting alone in a chamber of Elrond's grand library, reading a very old and heavy book. He seemed so absorbed in its content that he did not notice her coming until she was standing right in front of him.

"Tauriel?" he asked as he lifted his eyes from the book.

"Hello, my friend", she started in pleasant tones and smiled.

"What are you doing in the library? I did not know you had taken up reading as a hobby", said Legolas and smiled back at her.

"As a matter of fact I have", Tauriel replied and took a seat next to him.

"You have always detested books, long reads and dense passages, as I remember from our days of youth in my father's halls. You would rather grab a dagger than a book", the Prince commented. "What made you change?"

"Sixty years in Rivendell have ensured my developing a liking for reading. You cannot simply live amongst the greatest of scholars and with the greatest library in Middle Earth beneath your quarters and not be tempted to visit it. Lord Elrond always urges his people to read", she explained.

"Ah, lord Elrond is wise and learned, that is for sure. I wish my father had half his wisdom, nay, a slither of it even", Legolas said sulkily.

"Do not speak so low of your father, Legolas".

"Hm. Of course you would rise to his defense now, given the new state of affairs", he continued in the same tone.

"It is not because of the new state of affairs, as you call it, that I defend your father. He is wise in his own way, and do not forget how much he has suffered. He lost his wife and-"

"Celebrian had been captured and tortured, and, being unable to bear the pain of memory, she sailed for the Undying Lands, leaving Elrond with three young children", Legolas interrupted her. "He has suffered too, but he did not turn sour and bitter and even malicious like my father", he said with a furrowed brow and crossed his arms before his chest.

"Yes… But she is waiting for him in Valinor. They will meet again one day. Unlike your parents, Legolas, who are to never see each other again. And do not forget that Elrond is not touched by dragonfire… and he also wields Vilya. Do not compare them. It is unfair to your father", she sought to chastise him.

The Prince sighed in frustration and averted his gaze for a while. "What is your business here in the library, Tauriel?"

"I came to return this", she said and produced the book about Gondolin from her leather bag. Legolas glanced at it uninterestedly. "And I also came in hopes that I may find you here. I thought you might be waiting for Lossendis to finish with her teaching session, and so we could perhaps talk a little", she told him and smiled.

"Tauriel… If you are here to talk to me of yours and my father's relationship, please save it. I will hear nothing", he said curtly.

"Just listen for a moment, will you? Since when have you become so hard-headed and stubborn? Now this is something that reminds me of Thranduil, and I do not like seeing it in your character! You have ever been lenient and kind, with a warm heart. Have you perhaps exchanged roles, your father and you?" she spoke up, scolding him a little.

Legolas sighed in resignation. "Alright, I am listening. Just for the sake of our old friendship, I will hear what you have to say".

Tauriel nodded. And then she began.

"Thranduil – please tolerate me calling him by his name – has hurt us both. He has disappointed us. There were times we had expected magnanimity from him and he only gave obduracy. We had expected clemency and compassion but he answered with intolerance and cruelty. And we have always wondered why the King is so cold and icy, remote and aloof, severe and harsh". She made a pause to observe Legolas, who was listening to her closely.

"But the answer has always been right there, Legolas. Because he was _King_. It was something we could never understand. But as King, he could not afford to follow his heart in decision-making. Nobody has been harsher than me in their judgment of the King, Legolas! I even came to threaten his life on these grounds. And even pulled you with me in my folly".

"Folly? Saving the dwarves on Ravenhill was folly? I beg to differ, Tauriel", he objected.

Tauriel sighed. "No, for us it was no folly. But it was for Thranduil. He would not sacrifice any more elven lives just to save some dwarves. And although I will never agree with his reasoning, I have come to understand his motive…. and regret my inexcusable act to draw my bow against him".

"Is it your mind or your heart now speaking?" Legolas asked with a smirk.

"Both", she replied sternly.

"How did you ever come to love him, Tauriel? You hated him with a passion. You threw back in his face his offering of good will when he lifted your banishment and accepted you back in the wood", Legolas wondered.

Tauriel sighed and looked thoughtful for a moment. "When I came to know the ellon behind the King, I had no choice but love him", she responded in a low, emotional voice. "We had always judged him so harshly, superficially even, but had we ever cared to truly know him? Thranduil had none to lean on for help and support. He has been such a lonely person for so long, Legolas. A lonely and heavily damaged person, who managed to rule a kingdom perfectly nonetheless".

"He had his son. Do not tell me he was lonely! He could be far from that, if he so chose. And do not tell me that we did not care to know the real him either, because he would never allow anyone close to him, not even me. Nobody could see behind his mask of ice", Legolas said bitterly.

"Yes, but it was just a thin layer of transparent ice. A gentle push and it would break, revealing the stormy sea beneath", she spoke softly, her eyes trembling in their depths.

"Is that what happened with you and him? Did you manage to break this thin layer?" the Prince asked in milder tones.

"Yes… He desperately wanted to love and be loved, only he did not know how. And he was afraid, Legolas… He was so afraid to let anyone close or open his heart to anyone. How could he speak to you of the horrors of his past? How could he describe to you your mother's tragic death and not fall apart then and there, when his soul was being torn from his body? How could he tell you of the terror of dragonfire that robbed him of his wife and the beauty of his form, a fire that inflicted him with Morgoth's malice forever? Your father felt undeserving of love, although he deeply longed for it, mellon nin", Tauriel concluded as a tear fell from her eye.

Legolas' own eyes were, too, glistening with tears. "I have forgiven him for the hurts done in the past, Tauriel, but it was a forgiveness that stemmed from good will and a desire to move on, and not from understanding. Your insight has perhaps helped me know my father a little better. Apparently he is much more eloquent with you than he is with me", he said with a sad smile.

Tauriel placed her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "We are to play a different role in his life. Do not fool yourself, Legolas. You are irreplaceable to him. You are his deepest concern and first priority, you are his hope and pride, though he may not show it openly. Your father loves you, Legolas", she spoke to him tenderly.

"And still, he lied to me. And to you. He wanted to keep us apart. If only he had been sincere…" he said and sighed.

"What could he have told you, if he were to be sincere as you say? That he lusted after the elleth you had started having feelings for? Can you imagine how repulsed and angry you would have been then? And what could he have told me? At the time, he was not sure of what he felt. A desire, an attraction perhaps, but what if it had been something deeper? He could never afford to expose himself to me like that, while I never bothered to hide my dislike for your father back then. It was sort of a dead end for him", Tauriel explained, inwardly marveling at herself with this deep level of understanding she had managed to achieve during her long and tumultuous relationship with Thranduil.

Legolas nodded, deep in thought. "Perhaps he could see no way out. But he chose to allow his selfishness to win. He could simply step aside and let us love each other, if we so wished".

"And that was his grave mistake. Although I am pretty sure he saw I did not have romantic feelings for you, Legolas. Perhaps he could feel the strange attraction I have always felt for him, since I was an elfling. But, yes, his selfishness won the battle against nobility, you are right about that. Can we not forgive him this one mistake?"

"This one amongst countless others…"

"Yes, this one amongst countless others. He is flawed, Legolas. He is very flawed, perhaps much more than we are. But then, he is not like us. You have grown strong and wise, my friend. Your father needs your love and presence. Will you not give it to him? Will you repay him with the same coin of coldness and indifference? It will shatter him, Legolas. Not even my love will keep him from fading then", Tauriel said mournfully.

He turned his eyes to her. A tear ran on his smooth cheek. "Of course I will be there for my father, to love and support him. I have returned to Mirkwood and I do not regret this decision of mine". Then he leaned closer to her and took her hand in his. "Thank you, Tauriel, for talking to me. I had allowed my own feelings to cloud my thoughts and judgment. Much harm has been done already. No more".

"I knew you would respond thus, Legolas!" she cried and hugged him tenderly.

"But, I must say, you have learned a lesson or two of my father's eloquent ways of speech and persuasion. You will truly make a spirited Queen".

Tauriel stood dumbfounded, but her chance in a response was stolen away by the entrance of Lossendis.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Apparently I am interrupting something".

Lossendis stood frozen in the doorway, brow furrowed and eyes troubled, having just walked in on Legolas and Tauriel sharing a tender hug.

Upon hearing her voice they broke apart and turned to face her.

"Lossendis!" Legolas called at her. "You are interrupting nothing. Tauriel and I were simply having a conversation". A smile accompanied his words, as he was pleased to see her.

The dark-haired elleth approached them, holding a couple of books in her hands and maintaining a serious countenance. She turned her gaze from Legolas to Tauriel, examining their faces and reaction.

"Quite an ardent conversation, it would seem", she muttered in a slightly accusing tone.

Realizing what thoughts were crossing Lossendis' mind, Tauriel intervened. "My lady Lossendis, nothing shameful has taken place between me and Prince Legolas, I assure you", she said quietly but in a steady tone.

The other elleth eyed her carefully, but could not detect traces of lying in her bearing. Still, she was not yet persuaded.

"I would very much like to believe you, but my eyes have witnessed your tender embrace. I do not usually hug my interlocutors. How would you explain what I saw?" she asked, maintaining her patience and resolve. She was a wise elleth, who would not jump to conclusions thoughtlessly.

"Tauriel and I have been friends since she was first brought to my father's halls as an elfling". It was Legolas' turn to speak. "She came here to look for me, for there was an important matter she needed to discuss with me. In the end we became emotional, thus came the hug you saw".

Tauriel nodded, supporting the Prince's words. Lossendis kept her eyes trained on him.

"What was it about and you became so emotional?" she required.

"It was about my father… We had a disagreement and a quarrel earlier, and Tauriel sought to help ease the tension and set things straight by talking to me", he replied, now feeling slightly uneasy.

"Why would she seek to intervene in such a matter that is none of her business? What right would she have to speak of matters pertaining to the King and the Prince? I cannot but be led to suspect she harbors feelings for you, and it grieves me having to say so", Lossendis said and then turned her eyes to Tauriel, who now looked agitated. "Am I wrong? Is it not so? Please speak truthfully", Lossendis asked of her and there was a torrent of emotions in the depth of her grey eyes.

"No, my lady. Your worry is needless. Legolas and I have never been romantically involved. I came to speak to Legolas here because…" she hesitated, but could not at the moment see another solution and a definite way out of this, but tell her the truth. "… Because it is not the Prince I have feelings for… but the King", she admitted in a nearly whispering voice.

Lossendis' eyes opened wide in surprise, and Legolas gave Tauriel a sympathetic look, who in turn looked away from them both.

None was able to react verbally, so Tauriel spoke on. "I hope now your fear and suspicion is eliminated", she muttered.

"I could never imagine the truth. I thank you for telling it, and please forgive my accusations", Lossendis said and stepped up to Tauriel, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"There is nothing to forgive, my lady. I would only ask of you to keep what I have told you for yourself", Tauriel said and looked the other elleth straight in the eye.

"Your secret is safe with me, worry not", the dark-haired elleth said and smiled kindly.

"I am glad this silly misunderstanding is resolved", spoke Legolas and came to stand next to Lossendis, circling her waist with his arm.

"So am I", she responded and leaned into his embrace, and after a moment of thought, she added, "Now that is what that talk of Queens I heard was about…"

Tauriel looked embarrassed, a blush rising to her cheeks. "I have no such intentions".

"Does King Thranduil not reciprocate your feelings?" Lossendis asked on, feeling her curiosity picked.

Tauriel's lips parted, but she hesitated. Seeing her uneasiness, Legolas intervened.

"I do feel awkward discussing my father's private life. It is enough that I quarreled with him already. Why must there be talk of him even in my leisure time?" he whined, deliberately wishing his annoyance to sound a bit over-the-top.

"Has it not always been so? Your father's imposing presence permeates everything", Tauriel stated rather boldly.

Legolas looked at her with a raised eyebrow in mild irritation, for she sought to provoke him – although good-naturedly – even though he had spoken to save her from discomfiture. Lossendis watched them and only laughed softly.

"Now that is a love-struck elleth speaking!" she chimed.

Tauriel's cheeks reddened yet again, and Legolas laughed, secretly enjoying her embarrassment after her audacious remark.

"Enough of this, I say", he commanded, but his tone still carried mirth. "Lossendis, let us enjoy a walk in the gardens and leave Tauriel to her business", he suggested.

The elleth nodded in agreement and they exited the library, leaving Tauriel behind. She was glad she had managed to change Legolas' mind, and also prevent that misunderstanding from taking deep root, even though she had had to reveal her secret to Lossendis. On second thought, she did not mind it much. She would have learned it sooner or later form Legolas. However, the word "Queen" still ringed dissonantly in her head, and, to her dismay, she could not come to terms with it.

* * *

Later that day, Tauriel and Thranduil were lying together in bed in the Elvenking's quarters, content and a little exhausted after their arduous lovemaking. The King had a relaxed and peaceful expression upon his face. The former Captain, however, looked more thoughtful.

He turned to face her as he pulled the covers over them. A night breeze was blowing in from the window, and it still carried the chill of early spring. But it also carried the heady, intoxicating fragrancies of springtime, a promise of warmer days to come.

Resting a hand on her shoulder, he attracted her attention.

"What is it, meleth nin? You seem thoughtful", he asked her quietly.

Tauriel turned her eyes to her lover, who was looking at her with deep love and care. Reaching up, she traced the outline of his face with the back of her hand, and smiled faintly. But she spoke not.

Thoughts of the afternoon's events were dancing in her head, but she did not know how to talk to Thranduil of it, or what to say. She was not even sure he would approve of her having intervened in a matter that was between him and his son.

Sensing her reluctance, he prompted her to speak. "Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything", he spoke in a soothing voice and touched her hand.

The comforting feeling of her hand in his, as she was enjoying the gentle caress and the warmth of his touch, persuaded her at last to speak. Taking a deep breath, she started thus:

"I spoke with Legolas today".

"Legolas? What did you speak with him about?" he inquired, though already suspecting the answer.

"I talked to him about us, in an attempt to make things better between you and him. Will you be angry with me for this initiative of mine, Thranduil?" Tauriel worried.

"No, dearest one, I will not be angry", Thranduil reassured her and kissed her hand. "Were you at least successful or did he turn your plea down as he had done mine?"

"I believe I managed to make him see things a little differently in the end, although my attempt was met with ample resistance at first", she admitted.

"This is joyful news, beloved. Legolas might be a little stubborn, when it comes to decisions he makes, but his heart is gentle and it cannot harbor anger for long. He is very much like his mother, you know", he said with a small smile. "I wish I shared some of these noble qualities. Alas, I am quick to anger and retaliate", he lamented.

"You have other noble qualities, mell nin, that Legolas lacks. You are cut from the cloth of true Kings and high lords. You are a wise and persevering ruler. You inspire respect and awe. Legolas is a most skilled warrior, but he is looked upon as a friend by his companions; an equal even, and he is pleased with that. He never seeks to place himself above others or take advantage of his station as Prince. He is not one to impose his opinion or command leadership. He would never make as great a King as you, Thranduil. Not all people are meant to play the same roles", she told him patiently and with kindness in her deep, emerald eyes.

The Elvenking was listening to her with great interest before he spoke. "It seems to me you are trying to turn my flaws into virtues, meleth nin", he said and smiled.

"No, my lord. You have the virtues being a King requires. Everybody realizes that, even lord Elrond. He holds you in high regard, you know. Ever has he spoken fondly of you during all my years here in Imladris", said Tauriel and softly threaded her fingers through her lover's silver hair.

"This is not news to me", he commented. "Elrond and I know each other for very long. We fought together in the War of the Last Alliance in the late Second Age. He witnessed my agony when my father was slain, and he was the one that urged me to recompose myself and assume command of what remained of our army. Elrond was the herald of Gil-galad then, the High King of the Noldor. Together we witnessed his and Elendil's death before Barad-Dur. Together we marched against Gundabad, nigh two thousand years ago, and he was the one to tend to me and heal me from my terrible burns. Had it been anyone else, anyone of lesser skill, I would have surely died. Elrond had even offered me a few times to be a member of the White Council, at least before Gundabad and my taint, always insisting that I belonged to the Wise of Middle Earth. But I never accepted. I am not one for having dealings with wizards or for deciding the fate of the world. The fate of my kingdom has ever been concern enough for me", Thranduil concluded.

Tauriel was listening to him almost mesmerized, feeling once again so tiny and unimportant before this magnificent ancient elf, who had chosen her above anyone else to love and cherish.

"You have a long history together, lord Elrond and you… It is unfathomable how much your eyes have seen and your ears have heard", she commented quietly.

"It is so indeed. Sometimes the sorrows of the endless years weigh too heavily upon my shoulders. The responsibility of ruling a kingdom is too heavy a burden to bear. I would not want this fate for my son. I would spare him, if I can", Thranduil said and sighed.

"Legolas' fate is not yours to decide, mell nin. Nor is it anyone's but his own, for that matter", Tauriel told him and squeezed his hand lightly.

The Elvenking turned his gaze to the open window. It was well past midnight and the silver stars shone in the cloudless sky. A feeling of longing came upon him as he gazed at their distant, flickering light.

Tauriel came and snuggled against him, dropping a feathery kiss on his shoulder. "Where is your thought wandering, my lord and love?" she asked him tenderly.

"Look at the stars, Tauriel. Eternally they shine, bearers of memory, of ages gone, wars fought and lives lost. What does the future hold for us? What will be written in the stars of our fate?" he spoke in a low, contemplative voice and turned to look at her.

"It will be written that Thranduil Oropherion and Tauriel Elboroniel shared a love so great that it remained undimmed until the ending of the world", she replied softly and moved to kiss his lips.

He kissed her back and cradled her in his arms, lost in her warmth and tenderness, remaining silent for a while before speaking again.

"Let us walk under the stars, over stream and river and amongst tree and flower. Now, when the night is still young and the dawn will not come for several hours more", he asked of her with a passion in his heart.

"Gladly, my love", she replied willingly.

Soon afterwards, the pair was leisurely walking in the empty streets of Rivendell. Only the guards were awake at this hour.

At one point they came on a beautiful arched bridge that crossed over the rapids of the great waterfall, as they cascaded on the rock and then formed a wild river. Garlands of flowers and green leaves adorned its railings, and it was there upon that Thranduil and Tauriel made a pause and shared a deep and loving kiss.

"Do you feel happy and pleased with me, meleth nin?" the Elvenking asked his beloved, with a hint of anxiety in his voice.

Tauriel smiled fondly and caressed his face. "Yes, Thranduil. My heart is filled with gladness and love for you. You make me happy; more than that even, if it is possible. What do I give you in return? Can your tormented soul find some peace with me at your side?" she asked him lovingly.

"You are healing me, Tauriel. Like a balm on a wound you are, so soothing is your presence to me", he replied and then kissed her again, before speaking on. "But I will ask for your continuous presence. We will be leaving Imladris in three days. Will you come with me back home?"

Tauriel stood thoughtful for a moment. "I wish I could come with you right away, my lord. But I fear it is not possible. I cannot abandon my post and my friends here in an instant. I will need some time to prepare, and to speak with lord Elrond. It would be utter disrespect to just disappear without explanations", she told him.

"Yes, I can see you are right, though much I would wish you were wrong", the Elvenking said and sighed. "Take the time you need to prepare. I will be eagerly waiting for your coming in my halls".

Tauriel smiled and nodded. But then a thought of the previous day occurred to her, and her gaze darkened.

Thranduil saw the change in her demeanor. "What troubles you now, my love?"

"What will become of us, when I return to you in Mirkwood?"

"I do not understand the meaning of your question. We will be together openly, and soon we will be joined as husband and wife in front of our people", he told her.

Tauriel sighed. "I long to be with you Thranduil, to be by your side always. But… wife? You are King, and that would make me Queen. The thought scares me, mell nin. I am not one to fill such a position, nor would I ever wish to", she confessed the thought that was eating at her since Legolas had said the word in the library. "I am only a soldier, or a novice cook perhaps", she smiled briefly in an attempt to lighten the mood, "But I can never make a Queen. I do not even want to".

Thranduil was listening to her words carefully. "But I would have you be my Queen. If the responsibility scares you, worry not. I will always be there to guide you through your first steps in rule and governance", he tried to reassure her and ease her fears.

"I cannot play this role, Thranduil. I cannot be a Queen", Tauriel said in a sorrowful voice, disregarding his promise of help.

"What do you propose then? I would not have you as a consort, a lowly bed-companion. That would shame us both", he told her sternly.

She sighed. "I do not know. But I cannot marry you, mell nin".

* * *

The following day Thranduil chose to spend in solitude, alone with his thoughts. It was a grey but rainless day, with the wind blowing in the valley. Heavy clouds had descended on the highest of the hill-peaks, making the weather rather bleak, and the elves' merriment of the previous days had ceased.

Tauriel was on duty with the Guard, Legolas was nowhere to be found – presumably safe in the confines of the library and his beloved's embrace – and so the Elvenking had plenty of time to wander around Elrond's halls in reflective quiescence.

He was pondering Tauriel's words and her refusal to marry him. He knew, of course, that it did not stem from lack of love for him. On the contrary, she had confessed her love many times and with fervor.

But becoming a Queen was not something she wanted. She had always been a simple Silvan elf with no mind for grand titles and even grander responsibilities. How could he persuade her to take up the mantle beside him?

Needless to say, he wished by no means to force something upon her. He had promised her he would never seek to impose anything on her. And the position of the Queen was a burden as much as it was an honor.

He could entirely understand her hesitation and fears. How could she be called upon to fill the emptied seat of the deceased Queen? Would the court and the rest of Mirkwood's folk take kindly to this? Would she be accepted or frowned upon as an opportunist, who took advantage of the King's prolonged loneliness to ascend to the throne?

He wished his word would be enough. If he told them this was the elleth he had chosen to be his wife and Queen, then that should be enough for them. But he knew that even if he got their formal approval, lies and rumors of every falsehood would go around in secret, in the dark corridors and the deep caverns where gossip was born and grew like a weed.

Frustrated by these thoughts, he grunted, inwardly wishing he was no King but a simple ellon with a simple life. But there was no point in wistful thinking. First, he should convince Tauriel to marry him and be his Queen. And he would deal with everything else afterwards. There was nothing he would not do for her, and if the court decided to give her trouble, he would very well bring the thunder upon them.

His steps brought him to the doors of the Hall of Fire, on the lowest floor of Elrond's house. Here the poets and musicians of Rivendell gathered and composed their marvelous work. He paused at the doorstep, his hand lightly resting on the surface of the door. Thinking it might be too crowded, he decided against entering and made to move. But at that moment a familiar voice called to him from the other side of the corridor.

"Thranduil!"

It was Elrond.

"Elrond Peredhel", the Elvenking acknowledged him half-heartedly and forced a small smile.

The other lord came and stood in front of him. "Why are you lingering before the gates of the Hall? Will you enter or not?" he asked in a pleasant tone.

"I considered this, but it will be too crowded for my taste now, and my mood commands peace and quiet", Thranduil replied.

"I see. Ever you look as if something is on your mind, Elvenking", observed Elrond.

"Are we not all like that these days?"

"Indeed we are. But it is not only the thought of the Shadow that has brought your spirits low, my friend, is it?"

"You are right, it is not…" Thranduil admitted with a small sigh.

Elrond peered deep into his eyes, and the Elvenking felt as if he was uncovering his innermost thoughts and secrets. Shaken, he averted his gaze.

"Come with me… Let us have a short walk", Elrond said then and began pacing forward. Thranduil followed behind him, though rather listlessly.

The Peredhel took a northern direction, crossing a long corridor, until they came in a large, amphitheatrical hall, which opened into a small, secluded garden. Thranduil did not remember having seen this place before, but he only very rarely visited Rivendell.

"Here is where the greatest heirlooms and relics are kept", Elrond informed him, and gestured towards a statue. It was made in a kneeling pose and had its hands outstretched.

Thranduil stepped close to it, and, to his amazement, he saw the shards of an ancient sword lying on a velvet cloth upon the statue's hands.

"The sword of Elendil… the shards of Narsil…" he whispered. "I remember the Numenorean King wielding it all too well".

"Yes… It is waiting to be reforged, should his rightful owner choose to claim it. For now, it rests here as a relic of an age gone. A relic amongst many others", Elrond said, glancing around the museum-like hall.

Thranduil ran his finger over the hilt and the broken blade of the sword, while his memory brought forth images of the past.

"One day he will hold the weapon in his hands. Of that I am sure", he said.

Elrond walked close to him. "He has turned from that path, choosing the life of a ranger instead. His heritage and birthright is a trouble to him; he sees it as a great burden he fears to bear. Aragorn does not trust himself to claim kingship and reunite the broken kingdoms of men", he said in a deep voice.

"Not yet. But he will be ready, one day", the Elvenking murmured.

Thranduil's thoughts instantly turned to Tauriel, thinking that she, too, was not ready to take up responsibility as the Queen of the Woodland Realm. Perhaps she, like Aragorn, needed time to realize and accept her destiny.

Such a strange coincidence it was that Elrond led him to this hall, in front of the shards of the ancient sword. But then again, could it be possible this was no coincidence at all?

The Elvenking turned to the lord of Rivendell and eyed him with suspicion and deep thought. "Why have you brought me here, Elrond?"

The other one smiled faintly and turned to look at the great tapestry on the wall, which depicted the final confrontation between Elendil and Sauron in the Battle of Dagorlad.

"I looked into your future yesterday…" he started. "A vision of you was revealed to me". At that he turned his piercing eyes to Thranduil, whose interest and curiosity were suddenly picked.

"What did you see?"

"I saw you wearing a circlet of white flowers upon your head and a white mantle on your shoulders".

Thranduil's heart skipped a beat, as he waited for Elrond to continue.

"There was an elleth by your side, also wearing a similar circlet and dress. Her face was unclear in the vision, but she had flaming red hair", Elrond said and then observed the stunned expression on Thranduil's face. He knew he had struck a nerve. "You were walking a long path, hand in hand, and a marble altar was in the distance. This resembled a wedding scene, Thranduil. Strange it looked to me and unexpected, but then perhaps you can understand it better. Is it not so, mellon nin?"

"Perhaps I can understand it, although I would not dare assume or hope for much", Thranduil replied in a guarded tone.

"But I fear the vision was not altogether pleasant", the lord of Imladris spoke on, his face turning grimmer. "Thorns soon appeared on your path. Your feet bled and your garments were painted red in blood. And the altar seemed ever far and unreachable. Then you lifted your bride in your arms and walked on. The vision was ended then", he said and his voice was now low and foreboding.

The Elvenking was listening to him with his breath caught in his throat, and his heart beating wildly in his chest. Fear was visible in the depths of his eyes. "What does it mean?" he uttered.

"I know not for sure. The obvious explanation would be that perhaps you are wishing to find happiness, but the path will not be easy. Or the meaning of the vision might be entirely different. It was only a faint glimpse of the future that I had, and it was in an allegoric manner. And, as I have told you, not all my visions may come to pass", Elrond explained.

"The thorned path may signify the oncoming war with the Shadow… Yet again we must bleed in defense of Middle Earth!" he cried in despair. "But you also saw my wedding. I can give hope to that. Not all may be lost after death and destruction".

"Yes, it is possible that what I saw was a wedding. Are you looking to remarry, Thranduil?" Elrond asked him. "It is very uncommon among our race".

"But not unheard of. The great Finwe was the first to remarry, was he not? And did he love Indis any less than Miriel? Or had his love for Indis negated the love he once had for Miriel?" said Thranduil fervently.

"I will not argue on that, as I see you are quite resolved about it", Elrond commented with a small grin. "Who is then the red-haired maiden of the vision? If the vision was indeed accurate".

"Indeed it was. I can only speculate the elleth is Tauriel, for she is the love and joy of my heart. I would have her as wife, if she consents", Thranduil stated in a firm and steady tone.

"Tauriel? The elf who fled from Mirkwood and sought refuge here?" the lord of Imladris asked, but he was not truly surprised to learn of her identity.

"Yes, the very one. I love her, Elrond, and she loves me. Do I not have the right to a second chance in happiness, when Lothrin was so cruelly taken from me?" he said in an emotional voice that nearly broke in the end.

"Nobody could ever deny you that right, my friend. It is time you healed", Elrond said and placed a hand on the taller elf's shoulder.

Thranduil nodded. He then turned and eyed the shards of Narsil once more. "She does not want to rule beside me as a Queen, though".

"It is not an easy task to perform. She cannot simply step out of the shadows, the comfort of which she has hidden in for quite long, and boldly present herself as a Queen. Give her time, Thranduil. She will come to you when she is ready", Elrond spoke wisely.

"Yes… I decided not to put any pressure on her to fulfil a wish that is solely mine. If she is to become my Queen, she must want it wholeheartedly", the Elvenking said in a thoughtful manner and then made a pause before speaking again. "In the meantime, she wishes to remain here, until she feels ready to return to her old home".

"She is welcome to dwell in Imladris for as long as she wishes", said Elrond and then walked and descended the few steps that led to the small garden. Thranduil followed.

"Have you not felt the need to take a second wife, after Celebrian sailed?" the Elvenking suddenly asked.

Elrond turned to look at him from over his shoulder. "No, mellon nin. Celebrian is waiting for me in Valinor. My heart is content and my patience vast. If Lothrin was, too, waiting for you on those golden shores, you would not have longed for another wife, I assure you", he explained in a compassionate voice. "But how about dining now? Perhaps you would at last like to visit the famed Hall of Fire, now that the worries of your heart are somewhat eased", he said and smiled.

Thranduil nodded with a smile of his own, and the two lords soon left the hall of heirlooms and relics, where the moon was shining on Elendil's broken sword.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The remaining two days before the departure of Thranduil and his host were rather peaceful and uneventful. The Elvenking had chosen not to bring up the subject of marriage to Tauriel, allowing her peace of mind and relieving her of unwanted pressure.

The last night of his stay Thranduil wished to spend nowhere else but in the arms of his beloved. There he lay now, in the comfort of his bed in his apartments, with Tauriel cuddled against him.

"I wish you did not have to leave, mell nin", she whispered to him with longing in her voice and eyes.

"Oh, I wish the same", he sighed.

"Your visit here was full of events and revelations…" she said and caressed his shoulder.

"I think it was time we admitted our feelings for each other, do you not agree?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes… I could not run and hide forever. Forgive me for not seeing the truth of my heart earlier. Long years went by because of my idleness", she lamented.

"A few years are a drop in the ocean in the life of an elf, and I have lived for more than six thousand years, Tauriel. Do you think that a mere quinquennium would discourage me from pursuing your love? I could wait for you for another six thousand years, if I had to", the Elvenking told her in an emotional voice. "Although I rather wish you would not make me wait for so long!" he added rather mirthfully and let out a chuckle.

Tauriel laughed quietly. "No, my love. Worry not. I admit that I am stubborn, but not _that_ stubborn!"

Thranduil then bent his head over hers and kissed her lips. The elleth brought her arms around his shoulders and cradled him close. One hand of hers rested at the nape of his neck, where she softly caressed his silken hair. The Elvenking felt a pleasant shiver coursing through his body at her touch, and even let out a low moan to show his appreciation.

Tauriel smiled at his reaction and kissed him deeply. Thranduil was quick to respond, and for a while they simply caressed and kissed each other, inwardly wishing that those sensations would not end.

"Do you remember our first kiss?" she asked him.

"I do… How can I not? Although it had not been as I would have imagined it to be", he replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I had been drinking that night, and I was slightly affected by the wine. I could not restrain myself… I wanted to kiss you and make you mine then and there", he explained.

"And I had been encouraging enough", Tauriel commented. "I had lost control of my own body. I only wanted to be in your arms then and be yours".

Thranduil sighed at the bittersweet memory. "But our lack of control and restraint led us to have a terrible fight in the end, shouting unforgivable words at each other. I wish our first kiss had been sweet and loving, in mutual respect, driven by love and longing…"

Tauriel rolled on top of him. "We cannot change what happened, Thranduil. But leave the past where it belongs. For are our kisses now not driven by love and longing?" she told him sweetly and kissed him.

The Elvenking enclosed her in his warm embrace as they kissed, trailing caresses down her back.

"They are…" he replied belatedly and smiled.

He then sat up, bringing her along with him so that she was settled in his lap. A bothersome thought was plaguing him, and it was nothing but the pain of their forthcoming separation.

"For how long must we be parted?" he inquired in a low voice, as he idly played with a strand of her hair.

"I do not know, mell nin. I can only promise you that I will visit as soon as I can", she replied and managed a small smile.

"I take it you will continue with your life here in Rivendell, then".

"For a time, yes. I told you, I cannot just vanish without a word. And, furthermore, Imladris has been my home for sixty years. It will pain me to leave it all behind. I had a good life here, Thranduil', she told him softly.

"I understand that. It is a wonderful and peaceful place to reside, unlike Mirkwood…" he said broodingly.

"So it may be, but I am a Silvan elf of the Woodland Realm. My heart yearns for the tall trees and the vastness of the forest. There, I felt free and unrestrained. My wild nature is better served in your realm, my lord. I will return, just give me some time, please", Tauriel asked of him fervently.

"Worry not, beloved. You have all the time you ask for. In the meantime, I hope you will pay me a visit, even if it may be a short one. Perhaps you will need a small reminder of your old life, and a glimpse into your future one", Thranduil said, while a smile graced his flawless features.

"Thranduil… are you going to speak to me of the marriage proposal again?" she asked him with a trace of complaint in her voice.

"No, meleth nin. I pondered long what you said, and I decided not to press you to accept my proposal. I will only ask of you to think about it, before you make the decision to return to my halls permanently", he told her in a low but steady tone.

"I promise then to you that I will think about your proposal, and that I will not return to your halls for permanent residence unless I am resolved on the matter", Tauriel responded and looked intensely into his eyes.

Thranduil nodded. "Thank you. Until then we can perhaps exchange some short visits. Do we not need to court, anyway?" he said and smiled pleasantly.

Tauriel laughed quietly. "Indeed we do. Proper courting may last for years, I warn you!"

"So be it, then. I would not have you do anything against your wishes, or rush you into anything. And, if courting includes pleasurable moments like this, I would have no objection to its prolonged duration…" he murmured and then kissed her deeply, as desire was stirring in his loins.

"On that we are agreed, my love", she breathed and proceeded to straddle his thighs.

They made love for hours, until the late watches of the night.

* * *

Early next morning, Thranduil, Legolas and their small host of guards and servants were gathered on the plateau. A brief ceremony would be held to honor and bid farewell to Elrond's guests.

The sun was shining and a pleasant spring breeze was blowing. The lord of Imladris and his daughter stood in the front, and opposite them were Thranduil and Legolas. Lossendis was also present, together with her parents, and they stood a little to the side, with many of the noble folk. All of them were beautifully dressed and wore pleasant expressions on their faces.

"Farewell, Thranduil Elvenking. May your journey be safe", Elrond spoke and gestured towards Thranduil.

He returned the gesture, extending his arm to the elven lord. "Thank you, Elrond Peredhel. The courtesy of your halls was great and you were most gracious a host. May Imladris continue to enjoy peace and prosperity in the years to come", he responded.

"The same I wish for your realm in the coming years of the Shadow's rise. May your hearts be strong and your courage unfaltering", Elrond said.

"Darkness will not sway us. The power of the Eldar may be waning, but we, who still remain, are steadfast in our resolve", stated Thranduil in a strong, steady voice that sent chills to all who were listening.

The lord of Imladris nodded. Then he turned to Legolas and spoke.

"May you fare well, Prince Legolas. Your presence has ever been welcome in Imladris, and so will it always be", he told him in a pleasant voice.

"Thank you, lord Elrond. With gladness I will look to visiting here again", Legolas responded with a genuine smile and bowed slightly before Elrond.

He smiled back at the younger ellon, and then turned again to Thranduil.

"Farewell, Thranduil, King of Mirkwood. May you lead your host on safe paths", he spoke.

"Farewell", Thranduil said and then mounted his great elk.

His son and his host followed and, too, mounted their steeds. The Elvenking looked to the periphery of the plateau, where the Guard stood. They had been summoned by Elrond to honor Thranduil's departure. Tauriel stood with them, her fiery hair a prominence among the dark-haired elves. Her emotional gaze never left her lover, who shone majestically in his silver robes and mounted upon his elk.

And his eyes never left hers, for he lingered for as long as could. It was with great difficulty that both managed to hold back their tears of sorrow at their parting, but the prospect of reunion burnt like a bright flame in their hearts, giving them hope.

At last the Elvenking turned and spurred his mount onto the path and to the north, keeping the last image of his beloved vivid in his mind. The host slowly closed in behind him, following their King.

Tauriel watched him as he rode slowly on the ascending trail. He kept his back straight, his head held high in pride, and there was an icy and emotionless look upon him now. But she knew this was a pretense, and that in truth, his heart cried to be with her always. His _fea_ was constantly reaching out for hers, even though his body was gradually shrinking into the distance.

And then she could see him no more, as the host turned behind a high rock and disappeared. Soon they were out of the northern gates and onto their path towards the Misty Mountains.

Tauriel let out a trembling sigh and allowed a tear to run on her cheek. A few of her comrades glanced at her, but nobody said anything. They thought she was filled with nostalgia for her folk and old home. And, truly, they were not that far from the truth.

The small gathering dispersed then, and everyone returned to their post and business. Life in Rivendell would go on undisrupted. But Tauriel lingered on the plateau, feeling bereft and empty inside. She felt as if her heart did not dwell in her body anymore: it was traveling to the Misty Mountains.

* * *

The first two days of their journey were uneventful and graced with nice weather. On the third day they reached the Anduin and Thranduil ordered the host to set up camp for the night.

Soon some tents were erected, a few fires were lit and dinner was being cooked over them. After he had delivered his orders about the night watches and made sure everyone was about their business, Thranduil decided to take a walk by the river.

The stars had started appearing in the darkening sky, and a soft breeze was blowing. The Elvenking enjoyed the peace and quiet of the grassland. It made him feel free and his spirit limitless, as if it could expand as far as the eye could reach. It also filled his heart with hope and gave him strength to go on. Now, he had found a new purpose to live for: Tauriel.

Nay. Not only Tauriel. There was also Legolas, if not first and foremost. The young ellon had maintained a mild behavior towards his father during these last days, but they had made only small talk, avoiding to discuss the quarrel they had in Rivendell.

But the Prince thought perhaps it was now time they spoke of it. Wishing not to leave things unsaid for much longer, he went out in search of his father. Before long, he found him seated by the riverside, his face turned upwards and his stance relaxed. There was also a small lantern beside him, and it shone with a faint yellowish light.

Legolas hesitated for a while, wishing not to disturb him. But then Thranduil's voice was heard:

"I know you are there, ion nin". He spoke but did not turn his head to his son's direction.

"Ada", said Legolas and stepped closer, where he sat down as well. "Am I disturbing you?"

"No", the Elvenking replied, but afterwards remained silent nonetheless.

Legolas respected that and resorted to watching the stars together with his father. After a while the older ellon spoke.

"What do you think of the stars, Legolas?" he asked quietly.

The Prince was a little surprised by the question. It made him feel like an elfling.

"They are sacred to our race, for it was under their light the first of the firstborn had awaken, before the sun and the moon. But I have always find their light rather cold, and distant", he replied.

"Starlight is memory, Legolas". His voice was low and smooth and his pale gaze was lost in the vastness above them.

"What do you reminisce of, father?"

"Those long gone times, when your mother and I were young, when we still knew little of the sorrows of the world", he replied.

"Do you still hurt and grieve for her loss? Even though you have found another to love now…" Legolas asked somewhat reluctantly.

"I will always hurt and grieve for your mother's loss", he said with a sigh. "The love I have for Tauriel is healing my heart… She makes me feel whole again, and not crippled and broken as I have been feeling for all these endless years. The memory of Lothrin's death is ever-present, and always will be, only now it is a pain to bear and not a cause to fade".

"Did you wish to fade, ada?"

"There was a time when I would not mind it if it happened. I had lost everyone I loved. Your mother was dead, and then you and Tauriel walked away from me. What reason had I to live? Who had I to love and cherish? Like a barren wasteland was my heart, where cold winds blew and no hearth was to be found", Thranduil said in sorrow. "And it was all of my making".

"Not all. Mother's death was not your fault", the Prince objected.

"Perhaps it was, perhaps it was not. But I became a terrible father after her death. Instead of cherishing you, ion nin, I grew distant and cold. Lothrin would have never wanted that. She did not give up her life for mine, only for me to become a stranger to my own son. She knew me as I had been when you were born, and in the first years of your life. I was a very different person back then, Legolas. Not this cruel, deformed monster you had known as your father. Oh, I should have died in her stead, and she should have lived", the Elvenking lamented and cast his eyes low.

"Father! Do not speak like this!" Legolas cried and touched his father's shoulder. "Much you have suffered, and never had someone been there for you. I understand now that your hard shell was the only way for you to survive, lest you were consumed by your grief", he spoke warmly.

Thranduil turned and looked at his son with different eyes. There was unspoken question in their depths. Then Legolas spoke again.

"I have at last come to understand you better. Tauriel spoke to me. She helped me see things a little differently. Forgive me, ada, for lashing out at you and uttering words I have regretted", Legolas said repentantly.

"Ion nin", Thranduil only said in an emotional and broken voice and opened his arms for his son to come.

The Prince hugged his father and let his head rest upon his shoulder. "Are you mad at me?" he asked in a small, rather childlike voice.

"No, my son. How could I ever be? You were right in your anger, and I have been far from a good father. I should have known better. I should not have allowed my selfishness to prevail, I should not have lied to you and manipulated you. What have you seen from me save hurt and disappointment?" he mourned.

"This is not true. I have received your protection, your teachings, and I have felt your pride for me and your trust", Legolas responded.

"I am more than lucky to hear such words from you, ion nin, and to have received your forgiveness, if you have forgiven me indeed", Thranduil said in a deep voice.

"I have forgiven you father, and I will utter no more objections about your union with Tauriel. If my father and my friend can be happy together, then my heart will sing in joy for their gladness", the Prince said fervently and smiled.

Then Thranduil embraced his only son and a tear of relief and love fell from his eye. "Thank you, ion nin", he whispered. "Only late did I realize the most valuable gift Lothrin left me…" he went on as he held his son's face in his hands. Legolas looked at with inquiring eyes and a slightly raised eyebrow. "You", said Thranduil and let another tear mark its path down his cheek.

The Prince's own vision then blurred with newly-formed tears, and he threw himself in his father's arms.

For a while father and son remained in each other's embrace and cried silently under the stars, until their souls where cleansed and their eyes dried.

* * *

The small elven camp was quiet. Only the guards who stood watch were awake. The few fires were flickering under the soft wind that blew, and the crackling of the burning wood was the only sound to be heard.

Thranduil lay asleep in his tent. With his heart and mind at peace after the conversation he had with his son, sleep had not eluded him for long. And he dreamed, and the dream was thus:

 _He walked in a great white path of marble that seemed to be endless. On the right and on the left of the path there was snow and snow-covered trees, and the air smelled of the sharp and invigorating freshness of the winter chill. His robes were of pure white and he felt young and happy and expectant._

 _Then white marbles appeared in the distance, and they took the likeness of the gardens of Menegroth. A great tree with white leaves and red flowers stood in the center of the garden, and a circular bench of white marble was around it. Snow covered its branches and the soil beneath it, but the tree was in full bloom._

 _He walked close to the magnificent tree, and then he saw a fair elf maiden seated on the bench. Her hair was as white as the first snow and her eyes like the deepest blue of the sea. Her dress was fine and crimson in color._

 _She turned to look at him as he approached and smiled. Then she gestured for him to come and sit beside her. He stepped close and sat, feeling instantly lost in her gaze._

" _Always on your time", the maiden whispered._

 _He smiled and nodded._

" _Look", she said and reached up to the branches of the tree. He watched her as she picked a few red flowers._

" _These are for you", she said with a soft smile, and then started braiding his hair and pinning the flowers in it._

" _One day you will be King. You should have a crown. I would like you to wear this crown of flowers", the maiden said as she finished her work._

" _Will you not wear a crown as well?" he asked her._

" _Oh, but I am already wearing a crown", she laughed._

 _Then he looked at her white head, and suddenly a flaming circlet appeared on her hair. He gasped in horror._

" _Do you not like my crown?"_

" _But these are flames! Take it off! You will burn!" he cried in agony._

" _Worry not. They do not burn me. Nothing can burn me anymore", she said with a smile and looked at him deeply._

 _Then he reached to touch her head, but the flames instantly scorched him and he drew back._

" _You cannot touch me, you know that", she whispered._

" _But I could touch you before!" he cried._

" _But not anymore"._

 _She then stood and stepped on the bench. She looked down at him and motioned for him to follow her as she got hold of a branch and jumped on the tree. He climbed after her, and ever up they went, until they came and sat on the highest branch. From there the whole world was to be seen._

" _Too long have you sat in the shadows. Now it is time for you to look upon the world", she said and waved with her arm towards the vastness._

" _But I do not want to"._

" _You must. Or the tree will wither and die", she warned him._

" _I care not. Let it", he said with indifference in his voice._

" _The tree is your soul and spirit, your fea. Do you not see how it reaches up and sees all? You must care", she urged him._

" _Why?"_

" _Because you are not alone", she replied softly._

" _You are wrong. I am alone", he insisted._

" _You are lying. Have I not given you a gem?" she asked with a smirk._

" _Yes, you have"._

" _And have you not found a new gem of your own?" she asked on._

" _Yes, I have"._

" _Well, then you have two gems. Be careful not to lose them", she gave him another warning._

 _And then she stood on the branch and looked ahead._

" _Come now. I tire here. Follow me!" she cried and leapt off the tree. He leapt behind her._

 _Suddenly the scenery changed, and the two landed on a battlefield. Dead bodies, whose identities he could not define, lay everywhere around them. She walked forward, and a black, ominous fortress appeared in the distance._

" _Wait!" he called at her._

" _Someone has to go. Not you. You have to stay behind", she spoke softly and walked on, her flaming circlet burning bright._

" _Come back! You will die!" he called again desperately._

" _My time is done. And this is my home, have you forgotten? I will always be here", she turned her face to him and smiled._

 _Flames then appeared from the ground and engulfed her figure. She lifted her arms and face to the sky, and gave herself up to the fire._

" _No!" he cried in pain and terror._

" _This is my choice", she said and her voice was carried in the wind._

 _Then the flames were gone and night fell. Absolute silence reigned. A small pool was in the distance, where her body had been._

 _He walked close with trembling limbs and tears in his eyes._

" _Where are you? Come back to me!" he cried._

 _The waters then were disturbed and her silhouette surfaced. Her skin looked thin and transparent and fragile like glass, and her eyes were like blue crystals. Her white hair shone like shards of ice. He fell on his knees before her. But she smiled and reached out to touch his face. Her touch was cool and soothing. And then she spoke:_

" _Still here I wake and I think of you… I wake from my eternal slumber in the dark halls of the shadows, where hope and daylight dies. I hear your voice from afar and I call to you, but you cannot hear me, you cannot answer my call. You still walk where the grass is green, the flowers bloom and the sun shines, where together we walked when my heart was so young. But we are gone and forever lost, and broken here I lie, beneath the shadows. Yet I wake for you, and every time you remember me I live", she whispered her mystical words to him and then she was lost beneath the surface of the water._

 _He remained there on his knees, motionless, while tears flowed freely from his eyes, and time seemed endless and expanding._

 _A raven then flew and landed in front of him. Its intelligent black eyes peered deep into his own. And then it started to sing, and its song spoke of death but also life._

Thranduil awoke with a start. He was drenched in sweat and his breath came quick and shallow. Such had been the intensity and the vividness of the dream.

He threw off his blanket and stood. Reaching to his right, he grabbed his flask of water and took a few generous gulps. Then he tied his robe around his waist and walked out of the tent, feeling the need to breathe some fresh air.

Everything was still around him. The guards on watch turned at the sound of his steps, but only bowed to him as soon as they recognized their King. He paid them no heed and simply walked a bit further from the camp.

The maiden of his dream had been Lothrin, or at least some dreamlike version of her. He had seen a twisted version of their youth, and a twisted version of her death. And, although the pain and despair was palpable in the dream, there was also the promise of hope. She had told him to take care of two gems; Thranduil could clearly see that they symbolized Legolas and Tauriel. He felt this was the most important part of the dream. He should be careful not to lose them again.

But his heart bled at the memory of her death. Her _fea_ was housed in the shadowed Halls of Mandos, unable to reach out to him anymore. But she remembered him, she woke with his memory and called to him, though he could not hear her. _How much she is suffering!_ Thranduil thought and his face contorted in pain. Bitter tears rose in his eyes for his beloved wife's fate, a fate she never deserved. How could he ever leave this behind and be happy again?

He felt so helpless. If only there was something he could do, if only she had not been the victim of the worst cruelty of the world! His shoulders hunched and he sobbed, feeling his heart being torn apart. How could he ever consider starting a new life when Lothrin slept beneath the shadows? He sank to his knees in despair.

The darkness of the night was cracked by the first light of dawn, far in the eastern sky. A caw then was heard, and Thranduil lifted his eyes only to see a raven landing on the grass in front of him. It tilted its head slightly to the side and its gleaming black eyes examined his face.

Thranduil then was shocked and drew back, but his sudden movement scared the raven and it flew off. He remembered the raven of the dream, which sang of death but also hope. And he realized then that this was the message of the dream. Lothrin would have never wanted him to linger on her passing. She had not sacrificed herself only for him to live a living death, but for him to live on with their son and be happy. Perhaps only then would her _fea_ find its rest.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

It took Thranduil's host two more days to reach their cavernous dwelling, and, although the journey was peaceful, the Elvenking's thoughts still lingered on the troubling dream, and he spoke little. The expression on his face, carefully schooled into passivity and detachment, betrayed not his true feelings, but his gaze was deep and dark and brooding.

Entering the forest had not proved of much help to brighten the King's mood. On the contrary, the sickness that lay upon Mirkwood, the absence of daylight under the thick foliage, the chill that permeated the wood and the constant lurking of danger in the shadows dampened Thranduil's spirits even more. The trip to Rivendell had been a pleasant and refreshing break, but he did not expect the return to feel so gloomy, unwanted even.

As soon as they entered the halls, the Elvenking retreated to his chambers and asked not to be disturbed unless it was a matter of great urgency. Although it was around midday, he did not feel hungry and did not order for a meal to be readied. He only made sure to keep enough wine on his desk.

A glance upon said desk irritated the King. A pile of parchments was staring back at him menacingly. It had accumulated during his absence and now it awaited his attention. Thranduil gave a frustrated sigh as he thought of the endless paperwork he would have to go through. He had never been a great fan of reading tiresome reports that were filled to the brim with superfluous information or write long and polite answering letters, explaining to various merchants and traders his non-interest.

Pouring himself a glass of wine, he sauntered listlessly around his desk, viewing the pile of papers from different angles. But, of course, no matter how he looked at it, it remained the same. At last he decided to sit down and try to work. Perhaps focusing on something else – something that was rather boring or uninteresting and stirred no emotion – would help take his mind off the thoughts that troubled him.

Less than half an hour had passed and Thranduil had already begun paying attention to the parchments before him when a knock was heard on his doors. He lifted his head with a start and his brow furrowed in irritation.

"Have I not ordered not to be disturbed?" he barked.

"Father, it is me".

He grudgingly allowed entrance, and then the blond head of the Prince appeared from behind the door.

"Legolas", Thranduil acknowledged his son, trying to suppress the annoyance.

"Ada. I know your orders, but can you make an exception for me? I would like to speak with you for a moment", the Prince asked and looked at him expectantly.

"Alright. Come in", Thranduil acquiesced and rose from his chair, quite relieved to abandon pen and paper for now. He took the glass of wine in his hand and made for the balcony. "There is wine. Serve yourself if you wish", he called to his son as he went, not bothering to look back.

Legolas stepped in and quietly closed the door behind him. He forwent the wine and walked up to his father, who now stood and leaned on the balustrade, his own glass standing precariously on it. The forest around them was green and bloomed to an extent; but for the darkness, it was spring. The sun above the trees was bright and warm, but the pleasant and reviving feeling of springtime was not reflected on Thranduil's dark and detached bearing.

"What is it you wish to talk to me about?" the Elvenking inquired.

"You, father", said Legolas and looked thoughtful.

"Me?" asked Thranduil with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes... You look so distant and troubled these last few days. You look unwell. What is troubling you?" the Prince asked with genuine concern in his voice, which also showed on his slightly creased forehead.

Thranduil sighed and turned his gaze away, but he refrained from answering.

Upon looking at his reaction the creases on Legolas' forehead deepened.

"Will you not speak to me? Will you make the same mistake of being remote and isolated again?" he asked his father and leaned a bit closer to him.

Thranduil straightened up, not propping his weight on the balustrade anymore, and looked at his son. He assessed him for a while, as if weighing his options in his mind, before deciding to speak.

"I will tell you then, since you are willing to listen", he started in a controlled but low voice. "I had a disturbing dream the night we were encamped by the Anduin". He made a short pause, turned his eyes to the north, and took a breath before going on. "I dreamt of your mother, and of the past. But the images were twisted and unreal. I dreamt of her death, but not as it had really happened. She spoke to me in the end, and it was as if she was speaking to me from the Halls of Mandos. Her words were full of love, pain, longing and loneliness. But there was only the smallest ray of hope…" he concluded. Then he lowered his head, closed his eyes and sighed.

Legolas was looking at him with love and compassion. He, too, felt keenly the pain of his mother's loss. But he had known her so little and for so brief a time. For Thranduil she had been the mate and companion of his life for thousands of years, she had been his love and heart and breath, his life itself. The young Prince could only speculate the depth of his father's mourning, and once again felt a pang of guilt for abandoning him after the events on Ravenhill.

"It is the pain of her loss in your heart that caused you this dream, father. Do not despair, and do not let yourself be swayed by it", Legolas tried to speak encouragingly. "You spoke of hope; faint yet it might be, it is here. Your life is not desolate anymore. I am here, and you have Tauriel also. Do not linger on the past. Appreciate the present for what it is, and for the gifts it has given you. Cherish them, father", he went on speaking warmly.

Thranduil looked at his son with a new light in the depths of his eyes, feeling awed and humbled before his wisdom.

"You have grown wise, ion nin. You speak like your mother would have spoken. She truly lives on in you", he said in an emotional voice and brought his palm to rest tenderly on his son's cheek.

Legolas smiled and his eyes gleamed, obviously moved by his father's words.

But then Thranduil's face darkened again. "There was a raven in the end of the dream. It sang not as a bird but as an elf, and its song was of death but also life. Then I was awoken from the dream, Legolas, and I went outside to clear my head and breathe some air. And a raven came to me then, a real and lone raven flew down from the sky and came to stand in front of me. And it looked into my eyes like the raven of the dream had. This can be no mere coincidence…" he whispered in an intense and foreboding tone.

"Or it might as well be a coincidence. Since when have you allowed yourself to be swayed by such trivialities? It was a dream, and nothing more", Legolas dismissed Thranduil's words as non-important. "I beg of you father, think of it no more and do not give yourself unto despair. Concentrate on what is real. We need you. Your kingdom needs you. And Tauriel needs you as well, perhaps more than any of the rest of us. Do not let your old pain and fears prevail and destroy your present. Do not let it extend its deathly hand onto your new love and make it wilt and wither before it even blooms", the Prince asked of his father in a pleading tone.

Tears rose unbidden in the Elvenking's eyes. His brow twitched and his gaze trembled. "Would I be anything but an old and bitter ellon without you, Legolas? Thank you for your presence, your love, your patience… your light and your counsel", Thranduil said in an almost broken voice and embraced his son.

Legolas held him in his arms, and for the first time in his life he thought that his father was in need of assistance. For the first time he looked so weak and helpless, so bereft of hope and strength, so unable to bear the burden of his own grief that he crumbled under it.

"Oh, ada. How much you have suffered! But, I implore you, stand up. You are still needed. You are still loved", the Prince sought to remind the King and held him by the shoulders, looking at him intently.

Thranduil nodded slowly and inhaled deeply. The fresh air of spring filled his lungs and invigorated him. Then he rose to his full height and determination came upon his brow. His expression was now calm and composed, his face immaculate and ageless. Only in the depths of his piercing eyes could the vastness of his age and sorrow be seen, and that only by a keen and knowing eye.

"You are right, Legolas. Forgive me for my weakness and doubt. Come now, let us go inside and dine. No more will old sorrows and grief of the past disturb us this day", he spoke in a resolute tone.

"Yes, father. But feel no shame for your brief moments of weakness. You are a living being, not a cold and unfeeling statue", said the younger ellon with a smile, and then retreated inside.

Thranduil followed in his son's steps, thinking that he had indeed come very close to becoming a cold and unfeeling statue. Had it not been for the love of Legolas and Tauriel, there would be now a stone in the place of his heart.

* * *

Many miles away, Tauriel was gazing out of the window in her chambers in Rivendell. The sun was setting in the west, lending wonderful colors of red, orange and purple to the sky and cloud. It was early April, nature was in bloom, and her heart sang with desire for life and love.

Although her body stood firmly in Rivendell, her mind was wandering untethered in the darkened paths of Mirkwood. She remembered her days in the Elvenking's Guard, when she would lead her unit on patrol or mission. The activity of those days and her adventurous life back then she really missed. Here in Rivendell there was little to do, save accompany Elrond as a member of the Guard in the occasion an orc band needed to be hunted down and eliminated. But these were rather seldom occurrences, as creatures of evil dared not approach the gates of Imladris. The power of the Eldar was still strong here and kept the realm pure and clear of stain. Furthermore, Elladan and Elrohir's frequent expeditions in the Trollshaws ensured that this area was under control and the threat minimized.

As a result, Tauriel was left with little to do. She tried to take up cooking again, but every time she made a pie, her mind traveled back to that meal she and Thranduil had shared, which was the beginning of their turbulent story. A sad smile rose to her lips as she reminisced of the soft touch of his hand upon hers back then, a touch that made her draw back and jump as if struck by lightning.

If only he was here to hold her hand now! Tauriel wondered what he might be doing. Surely they must have reached Mirkwood by now. Her _fea_ often tried to reach out for his in the eternal, astral planes, where space and time where transcendent, but it was sometimes met with withdrawal and uncertainty. At times it responded and engulfed hers, and at times it fled and vanished. Like a flickering light it was, dangerously balancing between life and death.

And she was worried by that. Why was his _fea_ not responding eagerly? She felt grief and darkness every time her _fea_ touched his. Broken and marred it was, that she knew, and she did not know what to expect exactly. But could it be that her own reluctance had caused him to retreat in his steps as well?

She felt foolish enough for running and hiding from her own feelings for so long, allowing time to pass idly by. Could it be possible that she was making a similar mistake now, while she lingered in Rivendell and pondered his proposal?

 _No, it is not the same,_ she thought. _I love him but I cannot be Queen. This is a role I cannot play. And I will never be accepted as Queen, even if I gave Thranduil my consent. The people of Mirkwood have always seen me as a soldier. They will look down on me with contempt and disdain, if I seek to ascend to the throne beside their King. They loved their late Queen; many of them had known her well before her death. They will frown upon me. I am already marked as a traitor and a fugitive, and as if this is not enough, I will now become one who looks so far above her station. They will think me for sly and devious and manipulative, they will think I have ensnared the King with magic in order to achieve my goals. No, I cannot allow that. I cannot cause him more trouble and grief. He has suffered enough on my behalf. I will remain here, where I am safe and protected, and he will remain in his kingdom, where he is revered and his authority unquestioned. Thranduil and I may exchange some visits and see each other every now and then, but I cannot allow this to grow into anything more than a shadowed romance._

A soft knock on her door brought her out of her musings. "Yes? Who is it?" she called.

"It is Arwen".

Tauriel rushed to the door and opened it at once. "Forgive me, my lady!" she uttered in shame and hung her head.

"It is alright now, mellon nin", Arwen said and smiled fondly. "I have missed your company. Would you care to join me for a walk in the gardens?" she asked her in a lilting voice.

"It will be my pleasure", Tauriel responded.

Soon, the two ellith were leisurely strolling around the small paths of the gardens, enjoying the evening breeze on their faces and in their hair and indulging their senses in the wonderful colors and fragrances of the flowers.

"I love these gardens", Arwen started. "I love walking in them especially in the evening. A walk here always helps ease my mind of thought and sorrow".

"Yes, my lady Arwen. The gardens are beautiful, and you are doing a wonderful job with their preservation", Tauriel commented.

Arwen laughed softly. "It is something I do with my heart. Do you not have gardens in your old home, Tauriel?" she inquired and turned her deep, mesmerizing gaze to the other elleth.

"We do… But they are diminished, a pale shadow of their old splendor. A shadow is constantly upon what was once called Greenwood the Great", she replied with a sigh. Her thought wandered to the meeting she had with Thranduil in the gardens. There it had been when he had first opened his heart to her, spoken to her of his past, and told her that he needed love in his life. But Tauriel's mood was now darkened and the perceptive daughter of Elrond saw that.

"A shadow is upon your face as well, my friend. There is something troubling your heart, is it not?" she spoke softly, her voice like a breath of wind.

"I could not hide from you even if I tried", Tauriel admitted with a sad smile.

"There is no reason to hide from me. We are friends, and I will help you, if I can, should you choose to talk to me", Arwen said with compassion.

The other elleth nodded. "Let us sit so that we can speak undisturbed", she said and pointed over to a small pavilion, which stood on a flat rock and the waters of the river flowed beneath it.

"This is lord Glorfindel's favorite spot of recollection. He often comes here by dawn and with a book in his hand. Where his thoughts wander, nobody knows", Arwen commented.

Tauriel simply nodded. She had had some glimpses of the golden-haired lord over the years, but she knew little of him, except that his was ancient and returned to life by the Valar.

"Let us sit", Arwen spoke again. "Perhaps some of his light and magic still linger here".

True enough, the two ellith felt instantly engulfed by a vague feeling of joy and protection. Their hearts became lighter, their sorrows waned and their spirits were lifted. Upon receiving the wondrous effect, they looked at each other and marveled.

"Such is the magic of lord Glorfindel, yet he rarely reveals his power", the daughter of Elrond whispered.

Tauriel leaned back on the bench and allowed her body and spirit to relax. She trusted to the power of the Eldar and placed the sorrows of her heart in their care. With her soul feeling less burdened and her spirit bolder, she spoke.

"I have chosen a difficult path in love".

"Oh, my dear friend. That I can understand all too well. Who is it that you have given your heart to?" she spoke softly and took her hand in hers.

Warmth radiated from her palm to Tauriel's. "It is one I have never dreamed of loving. One I have tried so hard not to love, and yet failed", the red-haired elleth said in a low and sad voice.

"Is he perhaps one of lord Thranduil's guards? I remember seeing you on the day of their departure, and you were looking sorrowful and distressed", Arwen voiced an assumption.

Tauriel shook her head. "It is lord Thranduil himself", she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Silence fell between them as Arwen took some time to ponder her friend's answer. Tauriel was in love with the King of the Woodland Realm, a King who had once banished her for her disobedience and whose life she had threatened.

But Arwen was not a narrow-minded or prejudiced elleth. She was warm-hearted, forgiving and the depth of her kindness was limitless. At first she felt a little unsure of how to respond, not wishing to say anything that might scratch old wounds. In the end, she chose a simple and yet earnest approach, as her heart dictated her to do.

"Does he love you back?" she asked her simple but important question.

"Yes, with all his heart. Much has transpired between us, but I never imagined love would be one of these things", Tauriel replied, keeping her eyes downcast.

"Love is a strange flower; it grows and blooms even in the most unexpected places", Arwen said tenderly and smiled.

Tauriel turned to look at her. "Arwen, my lady… You yourself have chosen a difficult path in love. You have chosen to love a mortal man. Have you no fear, no doubts of the future?" she asked in uncertainty.

Arwen's flawless features were graced with an inner glow. "My heart is my guide, mellon nin. I would rather share one lifetime with Aragorn than face all the ages of this world alone", she replied and her eyes shone like stars.

"Will you forsake the life of our people?" Tauriel asked in awe.

Arwen did not reply, only lowered her eyes and a faint smile rose on her lips. Tauriel was silent then, respecting her friend's choice not to answer. For a while both ellith sat there, each lost in her own thoughts, while the river flowed beneath them in its incessant course.

"A choice lays before you", Arwen spoke. "Follow your heart, Tauriel. Let it not be swayed by fears and doubts", she urged her with fervor.

"But he wishes me to become Queen at his side. I cannot do that, Arwen. I am a soldier, not a Queen", Tauriel objected in sorrow.

"You have one chance in happiness and true love. Do not sacrifice it on the altar of your fear… Will you deprive yourself and him of the happiness you will share together? I am not telling you that your path will be free of obstacle or sorrow, but is not love worth every effort and every risk one may take? If not, then nothing in this world is…" she concluded in an emotional voice and looked at her friend with a smile and gleaming eyes.

Tauriel looked back at her and felt the ember of hope light in her heart. Arwen's soothing words had calmed her thoughts and strengthened her resolve. She should not cower in fear and give up her love so easily. She could not bear the thought of hurting Thranduil, especially after all the horrors and the sorrows of his life. He managed to set the past aside and fight for her. Would she not fight for him?

She turned her eyes to the night sky. The stars above flickered and shone like white gems. Her _fea_ reached out to touch his, and it responded with eagerness and longing. He was there, he was thinking of her, he was loving her.

What would she fight for, if not love?

* * *

That night Thranduil dreamt again, and it was Lothrin's face that appeared again in the dream.

 _On a great terrace he stood, and pillars were on the right and left side of it, made of wood and stone. Bright sunlight fell on the gleaming surface of the floor and around him the vastness of Greenwood spread._

 _He was enveloped in warmth and his heart felt unburdened and free of sorrow. Light robes he wore, for it was summer, and on his silver head was a fine princely crown. Alone he stood there and gazed in the distance, and silence was around him._

 _And then he heard soft steps behind him, and turned to see who was approaching._

 _The figure of his wife appeared. Her lithe body was clad in a long white gown and white gems shone upon her neck and hair, and in the likeness of a star she seemed to him._

" _What are you doing here, all alone?" she asked him softly and came to stand beside him._

" _Gazing at our realm, over these green tree-tops and to the west. We once had a home beyond the Misty Mountains, and of that I reminisce", he answered her in deep tones._

" _But this is our home now, and your lord father has built exquisite halls atop Amon Lanc. Have you seen a purer and greener place? Menegroth was majestic and rich and deep, but we lived far from the light. Here, we are one with nature", she spoke and her blue eyes shone._

" _Yes, the Silvan have embraced us and taken us as lords. For that I am grateful and most pleased", he responded and nodded with a small smile._

" _Come, let us walk under the trees. Will you follow me, husband?" she offered tenderly._

" _I would follow you everywhere", he replied in fervent determination._

 _She gave him a long, piercing look. "Not everywhere"._

" _What do you mean? I would follow you to death if need were", he insisted passionately._

" _No, you will not", she said and a faint smile graced her white face._

 _Intrigued by her choice of words, he stood thoughtful and regarded her in silence._

 _She then turned and walked away, pausing on the threshold to turn and look at him. "Come, I do not have much time", she called to him in urgency._

" _What are you saying? We have all the time of the world!" he laughed._

" _We have very little time, my love. Come"._

 _His brow furrowed, and dark thoughts crept in his mind. "Where will you take me? What will you show me this time?" he worried._

" _How will you know if you do not come?" she responded with a question of her own, her tone cryptical and her smile mysterious._

 _He took a step forward, and at once the paths of Greenwood appeared before them. A feeling of mirth was in the air, and elves walked and danced and sang here and there in joy._

" _Our people", he said._

" _Yes. Look at this one", she told him and, lifting her slender hand, pointed over to an elfling._

 _He turned his eyes to look where she showed him, and he saw a very young elf girl playing with a wooden toy. Her eyes were green as emeralds and her hair was red as fire._

 _They walked close to her, and she lifted her deep but innocent gaze to them._

" _Who are you, little one?" he asked the elfling._

" _I do not know. My time is not yet come. Who will you make me to be?" replied the child, and his breath was caught in his throat. Such weird and riddling words to come from one so young!_

" _This is what I wanted to show you, my love. Your future", his wife said and touched his hand._

" _My future? Will she be our daughter?" he wondered._

" _No, we will have no daughter. But she will be so much more to you than that, one day", she responded in a low, soft voice._

" _I will never love another", he protested._

" _But I love you", spoke the child and looked up at him. "I always will"._

 _He gasped, and his gaze flickered and trembled. "I believe this not. I must leave this place, for it is a device of sorcery!" he cried and turned to run away._

" _Wait!" his wife's voice called to him, but he kept running. "Wait, I cannot reach you!"_

" _I do not want you to reach me! Enough with your magics!" he retorted in anger._

 _She was dismayed. "Do not shun me, I am only trying to help you!"_

" _No!" he yelled and walked further still._

 _She kept following him. "Do not resist! Let your spirit free of its tethers!" she cried._

" _My spirit must be free of your chains!" he yelled._

" _I am not seeking to chain you! I wish to free you! But your fea is scarred and tainted and it will not let me. Please, resist it! Resist this darkness that drives you away!" she begged of him._

 _But he would not listen. Faster and faster he paced, until her voice faded out in the distance, and she followed him no more. The trees of Greenwood were then gone from his sight, and the dream ended._

Thranduil opened his eyes, feeling distraught. Bringing the back of his hand to his brow, he wiped the beads of sweat that had gathered there. A glance at the balcony's open doors informed him it was still night.

Sighing in frustration, he sat up and reached for his robe. Yet another dream of Lothrin had occurred to him and in so short a time after the first one. Replaying the scenes in his mind, he was quite sure she was trying to convey a message to him, but he would not allow her. Her despair and disappointment in the end was so tangible that it made him shiver.

Pouring himself a glass of wine, he tried to shake off the unpleasant feeling. The reddish liquor instantly reminded him of another element of the dream, which was the little girl. That had to be Tauriel, undoubtedly. Lothrin had told him she was his future.

He pondered that for a long while. Truly, Tauriel might very well be his future, but for her audacity and reluctance to marry him. But why would Lothrin seek to tell him of something he already knew?

Unless, of course, there was more she had wished to tell him, but he did not let her. He had resisted her call and her pleas in the end, and had not allowed her to speak more. She had said it was his darkened _fea_ that intervened and disrupted the message. But Thranduil felt helpless; he could not control the sway of his _fea_ in the world of his dreams, where it prevailed.

Worrying, he wondered what kind of message Lothrin was trying to deliver to him. His instinct told him it must be a warning, but he knew not for sure. Sighing, he gazed at his suddenly empty glass. He had not realized how fast he had downed the wine.

Torn between the options of attempting to go back to sleep or spending the rest of the night in thought and drinking, he was won over by the second one. Refilling his glass and abandoning any hope of rest, as every trace of sleepiness was lifted from his eyes for good, he walked over to the balcony, and allowed his troubled self to wander in the labyrinth of his thoughts.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The months passed; spring turned into summer and summer turned into autumn. And, just before autumn turned into winter, Tauriel and Lossendis received each of them a letter.

Now, the main information of the letters was basically the same. In fact, they were invitations to Mereth nuin Giliath, the great feast of starlight of the woodland elves. Of course the two letters were written by Thranduil and Legolas, each inviting his beloved to Mirkwood for the feast. The rest of each of the letters' content was different and specified for the recipient lady.

Tauriel had just returned from a short mission with Elrond's Guard when she received her letter. Recognizing the seal of the King upon it, her heart started beating with anticipation.

Needless to say, they had exchanged a few letters over the course of these months, as it was the only means that helped them feel closer with each other. But the arrival of a new, fresh letter was always something exciting.

So Tauriel rushed up to her chambers, threw armor, bow and daggers aside, and sat down on her bed to read Thranduil's letter. The wax seal cracked and the letter read like this:

 _Meleth nin,_

 _Yet another letter I write to you, and the thoughts in my head are so loud, and the feelings in my heart so strong, that I fear I will not be able to put them aptly into words. But I will try, nonetheless._

 _To tell you I am missing you every day that passes will not be a novelty. But it is the truth, beloved. Thoughts of you dance in my mind, and memories of the blissful days we spent together in Rivendell grace my waking hours. But they seem so far gone now… Months have passed, summer came and went, and I have not yet seen your eyes._

 _Duty to my kingdom and my people has been keeping me bound and shackled here. The threat of the Shadow is ever-growing. We rescheduled our patrols yet again, and it is often now that I ride out with a party. At long last I took your advice and turned my eyes to Dol Guldur, where most of the threat stems from. I lead my men south, clearing off nests and driving back the orcs that dare reach our borders. But the fight is strenuous, and the Enemy returns every time with renewed force. Dol Guldur I have not yet reached, but I keep it in mind to organize a campaign to attack the ancient fortress, come spring. It is a daring thought and it is very likely that we will be met with peril, but I sense marching southwards has become necessary. Legolas agrees with the plan. He is happy to see me take action and move beyond our borders._

 _I know what you are thinking now, as you read these lines: if only I had taken this course of action earlier! I admit you had been right. But perhaps it is not yet late to change things. And it is not often that you will hear me confess an error of ways when it comes to politics or strategics._

 _If only you were here, with us. With me._

 _I had hoped for a visit of yours in summer, but your own duty had kept you from coming to Mirkwood. These halls feel so empty without you, meleth nin. My heart is not whole without you._

 _Often I feel your fea reaching for mine, or mine is trying to reach yours. Forgive me for being unresponsive at times; there is still darkness and grief in my heart, and, I will not hide it from you, there are times when they threaten to prevail and consume me, when despair and sorrow are too heavy a burden to bear. Thankfully, Legolas is here by my side, filling my life with his light. I wish you were here with me as well…_

 _But I wish not to make this letter sound so bleak, or to awaken feelings of sadness and pity in your heart. For the purpose of this letter is a merry one, so let me suggest this to you:_

 _As you may very well remember, the date of Mereth nuin Giliath approaches. It has always been your favorite time of the year. And it has been so long since we walked together under the stars in our feast of starlight. How would you like to visit for the feast? It is with great gladness and joy that I invite you to the Woodland Realm for Mereth nuin Giliath, and I do hope with all my heart that you will accept my invitation._

 _I tell you this now, when it is still early, so that you will have time enough for preparations, should you decide to visit me. Let me also inform you that Legolas has sent an invitation to the lady of his heart, Lossendis. If you find it to your liking, perhaps you can make arrangements with her and come to Mirkwood together. Anyone else you should wish to bring along will be most welcome._

 _I do hope you will accept my invitation, Tauriel! My heart cries in your absence, and my body longs for yours. It is only with your thought that I manage to bear my loneliness. The last image of you, in the farewell ceremony in Rivendell, I keep vivid in my memory. You looked at me with teary eyes, beloved. I struggled not to cry as well and ruin my formal appearance. Partings are always so difficult, so bitter._

 _But sometimes they come with the promise of reunion. And to such a promise I hold now. Let us watch the stars together, beloved._

 _Forever yours,_

 _Thranduil_

By the end of the letter tears had risen to Tauriel's eyes. Thranduil's letters had always been filled with love, but in this latter one the feeling of longing was so prominent that it pierced her heart and made it bleed.

She held the letter in her hands and read it many times before finally putting it aside, folded carefully and securely kept in a drawer, together with his previous letters. Of course she would visit Mirkwood for Mereth nuin Giliath. She wanted to let him know right away, but first there were a couple of things she needed to take care of.

Swiftly she removed her hunting attire and walked into the bathroom. The water in her bath was tepid, but she did not mind. She allowed herself to relax as she washed herself clean of the dust of the road, while her mind was filled with happy thoughts and her heart was beating in excitement. A smile was on her face all the time, but she realized it not.

Soon afterwards, she was out and dry and putting on a comfortable gown of deep green. Her hair she also gathered on the back of her head, as many ellith of Imladris often did. A look in the mirror told her that she looked like a proper lady now. Pleased with herself, she left her chambers and went out in search of Lossendis.

* * *

A couple of hours later, and with a renewed smile on her face, Tauriel returned to her chambers in the topmost floor of Elrond's halls. Sizzling with eagerness and impatience, she took pen and paper and sat down on her desk to compose her reply to Thranduil's letter. She lit a few candles, as it was dusk now and daylight was waning, and stretched a parchment before her. Giving some thought first as to how to express what she wished to say, she started writing, and what she wrote was this:

 _Mell nin,_

 _Your heartfelt words brought tears to my eyes. I have missed you as much as you have missed me, if not more._

 _Your invitation made me glad beyond words, and I accept it with a joyous heart! I will come to Mirkwood and to you for Mereth nuin Giliath. Nothing would make me happier than dance and watch the stars together with you, my love._

 _Lossendis has also accepted Legolas' invitation. I spoke with her and we agreed to make arrangements together. I took the liberty to invite Arwen as well, since you wrote that we might bring along anyone we wished. So, the daughter of Elrond will also accompany us, as she has always spoken very fondly of starlight and it has ever been a wish of hers to take part in our feast of the stars sometime._

 _How proud you made me, beloved, when I read those lines about your new course of action! I was sure that you would soon see the sense and reason in focusing your efforts south, beyond our borders. I say "our" because I always feel an elf of Mirkwood, Thranduil. And sometime I will return to my old home permanently. But be careful when you decide to attack Dol Guldur, I implore you! I will say no more of this in the letter, though; we will have plenty of time to discuss things once we are together._

 _It will be before long that we will be joined again, in body and soul. Mereth nuin Giliath is but a month away. I expect that we will arrive a few days before the feast, if all preparations go as planned. And I do not see why they should not; life flows peacefully in Imladris, and nothing extraordinary has happened lately. I suppose my life here is much less exciting and adventurous than yours or Legolas'._

 _But we will narrate more of our lives to each other once we see each other._

 _I wish I shared your inimitable eloquence with words when it comes to writing, but I fear I am ever the soldier. And, trust me, I am mustering all my linguistic skills to make these letters I write to you sound decent! Do not laugh at me if the result is poor, please._

 _For now, I will leave you with the knowledge that I love you and miss you dearly, Thranduil. You are in my thoughts, my dreams and my prayers day and night, mell nin. I am looking forward to being in your arms again._

 _Yours always,_

 _Tauriel_

The red-haired elleth finished her letter and read it a few times, to make sure she had included everything she wanted to tell him. Once she felt pleased with the result, she folded and sealed the parchment. Tomorrow morning she would give it to a messenger who was on postal duties, and in a few days' time her letter would have reached Thranduil. Now, there was only the pleasant avocation of making preparations for her departure to engage herself in.

* * *

The days went by fast, and autumn was ending; the trees had shed most of their leaves, which created a beautiful reddish-golden carpet on the ground. The weather had gotten colder, with the wind now carrying the first chill of winter. Nature might be somnolent now and preparing for its yearly slumber, but, in contrast to that, three ellith were setting off from Rivendell in joy and liveliness.

Of the three of them, only Lossendis was unlearned in any manner of weaponry or combat. Arwen kept her sword secure in its sheath by her side, and Tauriel was armed with her loyal bow and daggers. Of course, Elrond would have never allowed his daughter and her friends to embark on this quite long and dangerous journey on their own: a small unit of five guards accompanied them.

Mounted on their horses and riding north-east, across the Misty Mountains, in high spirits, conversation soon bloomed among the ladies.

"I have always wished to take part in Mereth nuin Giliath", said Arwen. "My father often narrated some stories of old, when he would often visit Greenwood during the Second Age and celebrate the stars together with the woodland elves. It must have been a truly marvelous sight to behold".

"Tauriel can surely tell us more about it. You have lived in Mirkwood for six hundred years, is it not so?" Lossendis said and turned to Tauriel with a smile.

"Yes, it is so. All light is sacred, but we, the woodland elves, love starlight best. Every year, when the autumn passes and winter comes, we hold Mereth nuin Giliath. The elders say that in the years before the Shadow fell over the forest, the feasts had been brilliant and lively, and that in the later years their splendor has diminished…" Tauriel said and sighed, as sorrow fell upon her face at the memory of her darkened home. "But my people still celebrate the stars, even though our power is lessened and our hearts heavier", she concluded.

"Mirkwood must be a dark, sorrowful place as you describe it, my friend", Lossendis commented with a saddened look on her fair face.

"Such is the work of the Enemy; he seeks to destroy everything good and fair", the red-haired elleth responded.

"We must not lose hope. Do not fill your hearts with sadness, my friends. It is a feast we are going to, and not a funeral", Arwen intervened.

"Arwen is right. I do look forward to the feast, as I look forward to seeing Legolas again", Lossendis said with a fond smile. "I am glad and lucky to have been invited by the Prince, but our friend Tauriel here was invited by the King himself!" she went on and chuckled lightly, wishing to brighten Tauriel's mood.

Tauriel looked at her with a slightly surprised look on her face at her decision to bring up her having been invited by Thranduil. She looked briefly to Arwen, who gave her a compassionate nod.

True enough, she had spoken to both ellith of her affair with the Elvenking, but she was not prepared to confront the reality of it in open discussion. Tightening her hold on the reins involuntarily, a slight frown came upon her brow and she cast her eyes down, refraining from giving a verbal answer.

For their part, Arwen and Lossendis knew not that Tauriel's relationship was common knowledge shared among the three. They gave each other examining and questioning looks, and decided to leave their friend be and speak no more of the matter.

The three of them rode in silence for a while, as Tauriel became thoughtful, as memories of the days they had spent together in Rivendell came to her mind. She remembered Thranduil telling her that they would court openly, once she had chosen to return to Mirkwood permanently. But what would it be in the meantime? She herself had decided to keep this a secret as much as she could. She did not want people to start gossiping about her becoming the next Queen of Mirkwood. That would be so false. She wanted to become no Queen.

Tauriel was sure that Thranduil would try to abstain from every obvious public manifestation of their love, as she had made it clear in her letters that such a thing would make her feel uneasy. But what about the longing looks, the lingering gazes, the blushing smiles? A perceptive eye would not remain blind to such things, and many members of the court certainly possessed such an eye.

Quickly glancing at her two friends, she decided she should enlist their help and ask for their advice. So, she proceeded to speak openly of the truth they both knew.

"Actually, my friends, there is something I should talk to you about", she said, taking a deep breath.

Lossendis turned her face to her in slight surprise, not expecting Tauriel to be willing to say more on the matter. Arwen simply smiled, suspecting what was to follow.

"There is a secret of mine, one you both know of, each separate from the other. But it is only wise to admit it is common knowledge amongst us three", Tauriel said and gave each elleth a brief look.

"You speak of your relationship with King Thranduil, if I am not mistaken…" Lossendis said in a guarded tone.

"Indeed I am".

"Lady Arwen, you know of it as well, it seems", Lossendis spoke again, looking to the daughter of Elrond now.

"I do", she replied to the dark-haired elleth with a smile. "We should give Tauriel our friendship and understanding, for her heart has chosen a difficult path to follow", she offered in a breathy voice.

Lossendis looked in Tauriel's eyes deeply, and saw that her feelings for the Elvenking were not foolish or fleeting, and that her heart was true. She had been sure since the revelation in the library that her friend would not lightly jest in such a matter, but now all her doubts were removed.

"And we shall do so. Tauriel, you can trust us. Please know that, mellon nin", she told her warmly and gazed at her kindly.

"Thank you both for your support and kind words. Your friendship makes my heart lighter. I trust to your compassion and discretion. And, as nobody else knows, but for you two, and Legolas, I would like it to remain this way, please", Tauriel pleaded.

"So it will be", said Arwen, and Lossendis confirmed that with a nod.

Tauriel smiled in gratitude, deeply appreciating the unexpected friendship she had found in the faces of those two ellith.

After a brief moment of silence, Lossendis turned to the red-haired elleth with a look of wonder and question upon her face. "May I ask you another thing, Tauriel?"

"Yes, of course".

"It is known that the Elvenking had once had an Elvenqueen, who had been lost in a battle long ago. How can he love another, if she is waiting for his coming in Valinor? Is he not bound to his late wife?" the dark-haired elleth wondered.

"Not anymore, for reasons that are not mine to reveal… But no, he is not", Tauriel answered in a low, guarded tone.

"To love is natural. It is a need of the _fea_ , and of the _hroa_. It is not condemnable or contemptible, simply because someone has loved once. It does not mean he or she may not love again", Arwen spoke wisely, and the two others turned their eyes to her.

Lossendis stared at the lady of Imladris for a few moments and then turned again to Tauriel.

"I promise I will ask nothing more of issues that are not meant for my ears to hear. And no word will I speak of your love with the King, save only in the company of those who are aware", she told her in a slightly regretful voice for having asked the question about his late wife. Tauriel responded with a nod and a grateful smile.

Then the expression of Lossendis' face changed into a more mirthful one. "But come tell me, how is it possible that feelings of love developed between you and your King? Since when are you two in love?" she asked, unable to hide her curiosity, which was not ill-natured, however.

"For quite a few years, apparently", Tauriel replied with a sigh. "He claims to have loved me for over sixty years now, if not more. I know not for sure. I have always been attracted to him, since I was very young, but it is only recently that I named these feelings love. It is only recently that the truth of my heart was revealed to me, and I was able to look it in the eye. For I was running and hiding from my feelings for long, my friends, tormenting both me and him", said she and made a short pause before going on.

"I understand why you should wonder at how we two can love each other. Our story during the Battle before Erebor's gates is not a secret. I had been banished from the realm because of my disobedience prior to it. And when I showed up in the battle with a mind to go after and help Thorin Oakenshield's company on Ravenhill, I was so enraged that the King had chosen to abandon the dwarves to their fate, that I foolishly drew my bow against him. However, when the battle was resolved and only the countless dead remained, Thranduil realized what the cost of his decision to march into war truly was, and regretted it much. He asked of me to come with the army back to Mirkwood, and soon after our return he forgave me and absolved me of treachery. He invited me back to my home and my station, but I could not stay. Feelings of bitterness and resentment nestled in my heart. So, I left and sought refuge in Rivendell, and the rest you know of", she concluded her narration, and tears were glimmering in her eyes, for that scene of her past was now so vivid in front of her eyes, when she was mourning over Kili's dead body and Thranduil walked out of the ruins and up to her.

 _A tear ran from her eye as she was bent over Kili, now lying still and cold beneath her, all traces of life having abandoned him. Her heart was shattered into millions of pieces. It cried and rebelled against the injustice that was the cruel and premature ending of a life of one so young. He had loved her, and she was beginning to love him…_

 _Suddenly she heard the sound of steps approaching. It was her King._

" _They want to bury him", she spoke in a low voice, without lifting her eyes to him._

" _Yes…" the Elvenking responded in deep tones. But there was no indifference in his one-worded reply. On the contrary, Tauriel had noticed traces of emotion in it._

 _She then slowly lifted her gaze to him. "If this is love I do not want it..." she whispered, while fresh tears marked their paths down her cheeks. "Take it from me… please!" she begged of him, although she never believed he could really take her life. But the despair of losing a loved one had been too immense at that moment for her to bear, and she found herself wishing for death. Perhaps he could fulfil her wish… He had had her at the tip of his sword only mere hours ago._

 _But then Tauriel looked at him again, and saw his resolve trembling and threatening to give way, she saw his mask of ice cracking. "Why does it hurt so much?" she cried, as she felt her insides being torn apart, and she bent over Kili's body again, holding his hand in hers._

 _Then came Thranduil's unexpected reply. "Because it was real", he told her in an almost whispering voice, tears brimming in his own eyes and threatening to spill. He was looking at her with compassion, and deep, unfathomable pain in his eyes._

 _Tauriel looked into his eyes then, and for the first time she saw the ellon behind the King. For the first time she saw emotion surfacing on his face and his façade of control and indifference failing. And there was so much pain in the depths of his pale eyes, so much suffering of everlasting memories and ages past, that Tauriel shivered and wondered how much her King had endured, and was enduring still, over the long years of his life._

 _She understood, then, that love was akin to pain, and one could not exist apart from the other. Her brow relaxed and her eyes cleared, and she removed her eyes from the King's. Bending her head slowly over Kili's, she placed the first and final kiss on his cold lips, as she lovingly cradled his hand beneath her chin._

 _Thranduil was still standing there, respecting her grief and mourning, and allowing her peace and silence. But as he saw that Tauriel would not move from the dwarf, he spoke._

" _Tauriel…" he called at her and his voice was still deep and broken. She lifted her eyes to him, and he spoke softly to her. "We should be going… His kin will take care of his body and see to a proper funeral. Our time here is done", he told her and took a few careful steps towards her._

" _I cannot leave him", she responded weakly, unwilling to let go of him._

" _He is gone… It is only in memory that he may live now", Thranduil whispered and lowered himself on one knee close to her. "Come, Tauriel. Let us return home", he told her and extended his gloved hand to her._

 _Tauriel's lips parted in surprise and hesitancy, and searched the King's eyes. He was looking at her with compassion, not reminding her at all of the cold and remote King she had been used to._

" _My lord?" she uttered in a trembling voice, slowly lifting her hand to his._

" _I am here, Tauriel", he told her and looked deep into her eyes._

 _She then entrusted her hand in his, and his strong, secure clasp made her feel protected. Slowly they rose to their feet, and Thranduil gave her a small nod accompanied by a faint smile._

 _He was struggling with all his might not to break down then and there and give himself unto grief, for he felt as a spectator now to a scene he had once been the protagonist of, when Lothrin died. But it was Tauriel now who was profoundly hurting, and he wished to shield her from the pain, to take it away if he could. Only he could not, and he knew that all too well._

 _Still holding her hand, he made to move and walk away, but Tauriel's lingering and tug on his hand made him stop and look back. She was still looking at Kili through teary eyes, unable to let go._

" _Tauriel…" he whispered again, and then she suddenly turned and hid herself in his arms, sobbing and weeping her heart out._

 _Thranduil froze for a second, but then he realized that this had not been a conscious move of hers; she did only as her grief dictated and he happened to stand there, the sole provider of comfort in these dark hours._

 _There he stood and held her in his arms, for she wept and wept, until Kili's kin came to gather the fallen one's body and prepare it for the funeral rites. The dwarves gave compassionate looks to the elleth, for most of them had sympathized with hers and Kili's love, but they reserved only cold and hatred-filled glares for the Elvenking, whom they held responsible to a great degree for this massacre._

 _The two elves were left alone on the cold rock of Ravenhill, until weariness took over Tauriel and she allowed herself to be led away by her King._

"Tauriel?" Arwen's soft voice brought her out of her musings. "Are you alright? You seem distant… and lost", she whispered as she brought her horse close to the other elleth's.

Tauriel hastily turned her eyes to Arwen and forced a small smile on her lips. "Yes, I am alright. I was just… remembering", she replied.

Arwen nodded her understanding. "We will be setting up camp for the night soon. Rest your body and ease your worries; the past is gone, only the future is ahead", she told her warmly and gazed at her deeply. Then she rode on, allowing her some privacy.

Truly, the past was gone. But not forgotten. In retrospection, Tauriel was now glad that she had not been alone on Ravenhill, after Kili's death. She was glad Thranduil had been there, to stay with her and even comfort her through her tears and grief. He did love her back then, she was sure of that now. Perhaps she had not been able to decipher the truth from his gaze and movements then, but now she could clearly remember the love in his eyes and the tenderness of his touch.

And she would reciprocate this love. Oh, how much she longed to reciprocate it!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Thranduil was pacing back and forth before the foot of his throne, impatient in his countenance, as word had reached him of the imminent arrival of the ladies of Rivendell. But soon enough the sound of hurried steps disrupted his thoughts, and he turned to its direction.

"My lord! The guests from Imladris have arrived!" announced Galion, the Elvenking's butler, as he rushed along the causeway to the throne plateau, and he was standing now panting and very alert.

Thranduil's eyes immediately shot up, as excitement and anticipation were born inside him. Clasping his hands on his back, he walked close to Galion and spoke.

"Tarry not, then. Let them be received here in the throne room. Make sure someone sees to their horses and luggage", he instructed in a commanding but not harsh tone.

"Yes, my lord", said Galion, still out of breath. Then he offered the King a deep bow and left quickly.

The Elvenking slowly ascended the steps to his throne, and, after he had ascertained his heavy cloak was elegantly draped over the seat, he sat in a leisurely pose and crossed his legs at the knee. He also made sure to school his expression into a pleasant and welcoming one. He glanced at his grey boots, his shimmering silver robes, his ringed fingers and his carven oaken staff: everything looked perfect. The crown of autumn leaves and berries also felt steady and secure upon his head. Pleased with himself, he allowed himself to relax. Everything seemed to be in place, and he would have nothing go wrong.

Impressions were very important, after all.

Of course, his heart was beating wildly in his chest with the prospect of seeing Tauriel again after nearly eight months of living apart. He only wished he would be able to control himself and not take her in his arms then and there, for the sake of appearances. Appearances! He truly hated them, but, ironically enough, he was one to employ and encourage them, much more so than his father had been. For some reason, he considered appearances necessary and important. Legolas had never cared for them, feeling thankful he had not inherited his father's tendency for ceremonial behavior and his dramatic flair.

Speaking of which, the Prince was, naturally, also present. He was standing at the foot of the staircase to the throne and slightly to the right of it. He, too, was dressed in fine robes of light blue that had a silver shimmer, and wore a matching dark blue cloak on his shoulders and an elegant silver circlet on his blond hair. He stood erect and proud, but he was unable to hide the joy from his face.

The four Captains of the Guard stood to the sides of the throne plateau, together with a select number of guards. These were all clad in hunting armor and their presence was meant to honor the ladies of Rivendell. Countless woodland elves were perched on higher corridors or on the boughs of the underground trees, eager and curious to see the fair ladies.

Then a guard came forth and announced the entrance of the ladies Arwen, Lossendis and Tauriel.

As he moved to the side, the ladies and their small host of five guards walked upon the throne plateau. They came and stood in the center of it. In the middle was Arwen, with Lossendis on her left and Tauriel on her right. The five guards, clad in silver armor and burgundy cloaks, stood behind the ladies, silent and grave in their demeanor.

The three elven ladies looked magnificent and fair. Arwen was wearing a long dress in the hues of deep blue. Silver thread was embroidered in the likeness of small stars along the hem, the sleeves and the neckline of her dress, and on her shoulders a silver-grey hooded cloak was draped. Her hair she wore free and unbraided, and upon it sat a thin but elaborate silver circlet, adorned with small cerulean stones. Lossendis' dress was crimson in color and her belt was golden. Golden shimmered her cloak too, as well as her circlet, which was interwoven in her braided and up-done hair. Tauriel chose a dress of deep green, which she thought suited her best. The sleeves were long and trimmed with lace, as was the hem. Her hair she had neatly braided on the top and at the sides, but wore no circlet. On her shoulders she wore a cloak in the color of the shimmering olive leaves.

A very low buzzing of elves murmuring from all around began, and it echoed in the vast caverns below. But then the King stood from his high seat and raised his hand in the air, and every voice was at once silenced. Then he slowly walked forward and spoke.

"Lady Arwen, lady Lossendis, and lady Tauriel, on behalf of all my people I welcome you to the Woodland Realm. Your beauty and elegance will shine like stars in these halls, and it is an honor that you will grace our celebration of Mereth nuin Giliath with your presence this year. May you find your stay a pleasant and recreative one", he spoke loud and clear, and his deep voice reverberated in every cavern and in every hollow.

A thrill ran down Tauriel's spine to see Thranduil again in all his magnificence and splendor. He looked radiant in his silver garments and in absolute control of everything and everyone; truly a King to behold, and hold your breath in front of. So awed was she that she felt her body frozen to place, and forgot for a brief moment how much she wished to run into his arms.

Different was the effect the Elvenking had on the other two elven ladies. Lossendis stood motionless and wide-eyed before Legolas' father, she in turn forgetting all about Legolas for a short while, who was standing so close to her, as she was simply marveling at the King's elegance and superiority. Arwen's heart was calmer and not easily swayed. She was the only one that managed a kind smile and looked in the direction of the King without feeling astonished or fearful in his presence, but acknowledged his power and beauty nevertheless. _Truly_ , she thought, _in the Elvenking of Mirkwood lives the line of Elu Thingol_.

"Thank you, my lord. You are most gracious a host and most majestic a King. We stand in awe of your glory and are indebted to you for your kind reception", Arwen spoke and offered Thranduil a polite curtsy, also lowering her gaze in front of him, as he slowly descended the stairs and approached his guests.

The other two ellith suddenly woke from their stupor and bowed to the Elvenking as well. Then Legolas walked forth and came to stand beside his father. Thranduil marveled at Arwen's careful choice of words, but then again he had expected nothing less from the well-mannered and well-educated daughter of Elrond.

"Arwen Undomiel, you stand unmatched in your beauty and wisdom. Your presence here is a blessing and a breath of hope to my people", he spoke to her kindly, and Arwen smiled brightly.

Then the Elvenking turned his eyes to Lossendis, who spoke in turn. "Thank you, my lord. It is most pleasing to be received in the Woodland Realm in so gracious a manner", she said, striving to maintain control of her voice, as her heart was now beating rapidly. Awed and also intimidated by the father, she was also standing so close to his son, who looked so regal and beautiful to her.

Thranduil nodded with a smile and gestured for his son to speak if he so wished. Needless to say, Legolas would not miss the opportunity.

"You are most welcome here, my lady", he said warmly and his eyes never left hers.

Tauriel had recovered from her initial shock, and she was feeling now the old Captain seeping slowly back into her existence. She clasped her hands behind her back and lowered her head before the King, as he took two calculated steps closer to her and watched her face intently.

"Thank you for having us for Mereth nuin Giliath, my lord", she said in a rather low and hasty voice, which betrayed her uneasiness for being in his presence after so long. Her heart was drumming in her chest, but she willed a controlled, if not calm, expression on her face.

Thranduil observed her stance and felt that every time they met, he was meeting her for the first time and getting to know her anew.

"You are welcome in your old home, Tauriel", he said softly. "As you have always been". He added the latter in a louder voice, wishing to remind his subjects that Tauriel was still one of them, and she would be welcome, should she chose to return permanently.

Tauriel looked up at him and smiled genuinely this time, a portion of worry having left her eyes. Thranduil allowed himself to be lost in her emerald gaze for a brief moment, before turning and resuming a formal distance between himself and his guests.

"I should also welcome the guards that accompany the ladies, lest I am called unkind", he said with a smirk, and then the five guards bowed and kneeled before him at once. "Rise now, and thank you for ensuring the ladies' safety along the way. May you enjoy the festivities tomorrow", he spoke loudly and motioned with his hand for them to stand.

Then the Elvenking slowly ascended the stairs to his throne, a move that signaled the reception was over.

"Accommodation has been prepared for all of you. Rest now and refresh yourselves. Tonight we shall dine in the great hall, and tomorrow we will all celebrate Mereth nuin Giliath together", he announced with outstretched arms.

Then the ladies of Rivendell and their guards were received and accompanied by maids who showed them to their apartments and the gathered crowd dispersed.

Once he was left alone, Thranduil could at last breathe.

Alone? Not entirely. Legolas was still standing at the foot of his throne, but apparently the Elvenking had temporarily forgotten about him. Emerging from the shadow and stepping on the first steps of his father's high seat, he looked at him and spoke.

"Father? Are you unwell?" he asked in concern as he saw Thranduil sitting with his back slightly bent and his forehead propped on his hand.

His voice startled him and he instantly raised his face. "No, son. I am fine. I did not realize you were still here", he responded wearily.

"Have you slept at all these days? You look tired", Legolas observed.

Thranduil stood and descended the stairs quickly. His son stepped aside, allowing him to pass.

"No, sleep would not come to me. And this reception ceremony was strenuous enough", he sighed and clicked his staff on the floor.

"I do not recall you ever complaining about such trivialities. I suspect there is another reason putting strain on your heart…" the Prince said and gave his father a knowing side-glance.

The King turned to him with a frown. "I would rather have you speak clearly, Legolas", he told him sternly.

Legolas nodded, and walked closer to him. "It is Tauriel I speak of. Her presence here must be exciting and unsettling for you at the same time. What did you think of her?" he asked his father.

Instantly Thranduil's face was turned to him. His first impulse was to think of a snarky retort and parted his lips ready to utter it, but then he thought better of it and decided against it. He lowered his gaze instead and a faint smile rose on his lips.

"Breathtaking, as always", he whispered in a thoughtful but loving tone. "Does that answer your question?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Legolas could not help but smile. "It does. I am sure she has missed you as much as you have missed her", he commented.

"Probably. But I am quite sure we should not be having this… awkward conversation now", Thranduil snapped, pretending to be irritated, as he was not used to discussing the matters of his heart with his son.

But Legolas saw through his fake anger and read uneasiness behind it, so he only laughed. Thranduil looked away and snorted, but then a smile came to his own face as well.

"How about yourself, ion nin? Was not your own lady lovely?" he asked in a mild manner.

"Oh, indeed she was, ada. I cannot wait to hold her in my arms and kiss her and-"

"Now _that_ would be truly enough, son!" Thranduil scolded him but there was a playful twinkle in his eyes.

Father and son regarded each other in silence for a brief moment, and then laughed together heartily. Never before had the lords of Mirkwood been so happy together.

* * *

The royal dinner was, of course, royal. Guests and hosts feasted on food and wine till the late hours of the evening. Pleasantries were exchanged, opinions that were meant to harm or insult no ear were heard, songs were sang and dances were danced until everyone was pleased to their hearts content.

Arwen and Lossendis marveled at the spirit and joy of the woodland elves, who were so easy-going and simple in their manner, not bothering to suppress their wild and unsophisticated nature. These elves were so different from the elves of Imladris, and although they lived in the shadows and under the constant oppression of the Enemy, they had not abandoned mirth and merriment or their will to live their lives in the light again one day. Truly, hope was to be found even in the darkest of places, and it was where it burned the brightest.

But at long last the prolonged dinner came to an end, and everyone slowly retired to their private chambers. Tomorrow was an important day, and everyone wished to be rested and ready for the grand feast.

It was exactly this hour, when darkness and silence reigned absolute in his halls, that Thranduil had been eagerly waiting for. Swift and soundless like a shadow he moved along the corridors, heading to Tauriel's chambers.

A soft but impatient knock on her door made the elleth's heart flutter in her chest. Quickly she walked to the door and opened it.

Thranduil's tall figure appeared on the threshold. He wore no crown now, and he had exchanged his long and heavy robes in favor of a lighter tunic and simple brown breeches.

"Thranduil…" she gasped, but had not the chance to speak further, as he pushed the door wide open and strode inside. Such was his eagerness to take her in his arms.

And take her in his arms he did. From one moment to the next Tauriel found herself lifted from the ground and swirling in the air, safely held by her lover.

"Tauriel!" he cried, as he allowed her feet to touch the ground and embraced her tightly. "Oh, how I have longed for this moment, when we would at last be alone…" he whispered to her fondly, passion already burning in his eyes.

Tauriel lifted her hands and cradled his face tenderly, feeling lost in his azure gaze.

"Thranduil… love of my heart!" she uttered in a nearly choked voice, unable to hold back a sob, as she hugged him tightly, and tears of joy and relief fell from her eyes, wetting the soft fabric of his tunic.

"Meleth nin, look at me", he asked of her tenderly and placed a finger beneath her chin, lifting her head.

Tauriel gazed at him and a bright smile graced her flawless features. Then at once their lips were joined in a feverish, deep kiss that stole their breaths away and set their bodies ablaze.

She brought her arms around his shoulders and behind his neck. Her fingers slid in his silken hair, the feel of which she had sorely missed. Her soft movements sent a shiver down his spine, and he pressed his body against hers. One hand slid down the curved length of her back, relishing every inch he touched, and came to rest at the small of it, while the other hand traveled up her arm, to her shoulder and neck, and then down to the front of her body and over her breast, where he could not resist but firmly cup and squeeze the yielding flesh.

This elicited a soft moan from Tauriel, and she threw her head back in response, inviting him to kiss her perfect white neck. His lips, forced to abandon hers, trailed a kiss down her jaw and onto her throat, where he felt and bit ever so lightly on her pulse point. Next in line for his attention was her ear, the tip of which he loved to kiss and bite lightly. Tauriel shivered in his arms, profoundly pleased by his ministrations.

But she wanted to return some of the favor. First, she kissed Thranduil hungrily, and even sucked and bit on his lower lip. This caused him to moan, and his moan of pleasure was to Tauriel the most lustful and exciting sound she had ever heard. He hid his face in her hair and inhaled deeply: she smelled of lavender and pine, a scent so natural and earthly that made him feel almost intoxicated.

Then her arms traced his sides and crept lower, making him tremble with anticipation as she went.

"Tauriel…" he whispered breathlessly in her ear, his voice deep and heavily laden with lust and passion. "Touch me…"

His simple words lit a fire inside her, and she felt her core burn and yearn for him. Doing as he asked her and as she had intended to do, her nimble fingers slid to the front of his breeches, where she traced the outline of his hardness through the rough fabric. He moaned and sighed, burying his face in her neck and sucking on her earlobe, while his hips instinctively thrust forward, against her hand.

She continued fondling him for a while, enjoying immensely his rising passion, his breathless pants and hazy, hungry gaze. In a sexual daze herself, she moved her hands to his back and pressed her body against his, wanting desperately to feel his palpable need against her own searing one.

Thranduil then grabbed hold of her thighs and lifted her from the ground. Tauriel immediately wound her legs around his hips, bringing their bodies to close contact, while she kept her arms firmly around his shoulders, propping herself.

He was very much tempted to take her then and there, against the wall, but he felt she deserved more respect, at least in their first night together after so long. So, he walked to her bed instead, and placed her on the mattress, lowering himself upon her. He felt completely unrestrained, impetuous even, as he ravished her mouth, exploring her and tasting her, while his hips pressed demandingly against hers.

It was the first time Tauriel was witnessing such a raw, unfettered passion from Thranduil. All their previous lovemaking had been certainly passionate, but tenderer and slower than this one. Intrigued and compelled, she decided to dance along.

Reaching between them, she tugged deftly at the laces of his breeches and then let her hand creep inside, touching him. A low growl and another shiver of his was the reward for her ministrations. He allowed himself to revel in her touch for a while, and then he drew back and kneeled beside her. Tauriel made to sit up along with him, but he did not let her.

"No… wait", he breathed.

Then he proceeded to loosen her robe until it opened in the front. Exposed as she now was beneath him, he let his lustful gaze travel all over her flesh, and take in every hill and valley of her body. Soon his hands followed his eyes, marking trails of passion wherever they caressed, kneaded or fondled.

Tauriel gasped and squirmed under his talented touch, her body crying to become one with his.

"I need you… my love… I need you", she cried, and reached up to undress him.

Thranduil let her do as she pleased, and allowed her to remove his tunic and breeches. He, too, pushed the robe from her shoulders and tossed all their clothes to the floor. Naked now as they both were, he made to lie on top of her. But it was Tauriel's turn to stop him this time.

"Wait…" she told him with fire in her eyes. To his questioning look, she answered quickly. "Last time we were together you reached low and tasted me. I want to do the same now", she said, her voice hoarse with lust and passion.

Thranduil looked at her intently for a while, and when he saw that her will was unwavering, he slowly nodded his consent and lay back on the mattress, his heart beating wildly at this unexpected gift and his limbs nearly trembling in anticipation.

Tauriel lowered her face on his eager hardness and, hesitantly at first, licked the tip of it. His immediate moan of a response encouraged her further, so she enveloped his shaft with the warmth of her mouth, slowly licking and sucking, carefully exploring, tasting and trying this new kind of lovemaking.

Thranduil was struggling hard to control himself and not bring this delightful torture to a premature end, but her tongue and warm, wet mouth were driving him crazy. Allowing himself to enjoy her ministrations for as long as he was able to restrain himself from finding his pleasure, he at last had to break it off, lest he found himself in a very compromising situation.

"Tauriel… meleth nin… enough…" he gasped and panted, placing a trembling hand on her shoulder and gently pushing her off of him.

She lifted her eyes to look at him, and the tension she saw on his face astounded her. He was visibly shivering from excess restraint and unadulterated excitement.

"Thranduil… mell nin…" she whispered and came close to caress his flushed face. "Did you enjoy that?" she asked him, albeit knowing the answer already, as it was plainly written all over his features.

"Enjoy? Oh, you have no idea what an effect you have on me, dearest one", he murmured and then kissed her again, more languidly this time, trying to regain control of his senses.

But soon the kiss was not enough, and he found his hands gliding down her tempting body, over her breast and nipple, along the curve of her hip and down to the length of her firm thigh. Upwards then his hand moved, until it came to touch her at her core, and his fingers slid between her slick folds.

Tauriel gasped and nearly dug her nails in his shoulders, as she was dying to be touched, and waiting only made her passion burn brighter. He stroked her fondly, giving the proper attention to all the right places, and even allowing his fingers to slide into her entrance. She writhed under his touch, her body begging for more.

"My love, I can take no more of this sweet torture… End it and make me yours", she pleaded.

He smiled and looked at her tenderly before kissing her once more.

"Then let us become one, beloved", he invited her.

He lowered his body above hers, and she was indulgent and yielding under his touch. Slowly he entered her, holding his breath as he did. Tauriel gasped and arched her back off the mattress, taking the entirety of his length.

Then he started a rhythm of thrusts, slow at first, but deeper and more urgent as he went on. Tauriel raised her hips in time with his thrusts, meeting him and maximizing the pleasure for both of them. The need of release had started building up inside her, when Thranduil suddenly stopped and removed himself from her.

Before she had a chance to speak, he said, "Turn around".

Tauriel complied and exposed her backside to him, lying on her stomach now. Thranduil repositioned himself and entered her wet heat from behind in one decisive move.

She cried in surprise and excitement, but soon she relaxed and enjoyed the sensations this new position offered her. Thranduil's hands traveled up and down her back until they came to grab hold of her hips, or give an occasional squeeze to her firm bottom.

As his thrusts became more demanding and deeper, he lowered his body on hers and wound one arm around her abdomen, lifting her from the bed. She propped herself on her hands and knees and he bent above her, threading his fingers through her flaming hair and even gently tugging at them at times.

It was before long that she felt her passion building up again and requesting release.

"Thranduil!" she cried in a choked voice, and in the next moment she was coming undone beneath him, her inner walls clenching violently around his hardness and her body trembling in excitement and pure bliss.

It did not take him long to find his release after her, and he growled low in his throat as he came, his limbs shuddering from satisfied lust and exhaustion.

Soon afterwards he collapsed beside her, breathing heavily. Tauriel, who had started to recover, turned her eyes to look at his pleased, carefree and glowing face, his slightly parted and reddened lips and his flushed neck and chest. He looked beautiful beyond description to her.

Thranduil then extended his hand towards her and she gave him hers to hold. He closed her hand in his tightly, as if he would never want to let go. Relishing the incomparable feeling of shared intimacy, he turned his head to Tauriel's direction, who was looking at him with deep love and adoration.

"I love you", she simply whispered to him, but it was the most important truth of all.

A smile of pure joy bloomed on his face and he turned to her side, holding her hand still in his.

"Then promise me you will never leave me", he asked of her in a fervent but uncertain, fearful even, voice.

Tauriel took a long moment to peer deep into his eyes. She remembered that she had asked the same from him when she was an elfling, and smiled to herself. Strange, that so many years later the tables had been turned.

"I promise".


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

It was Mereth nuin Giliath. The elves of the Woodland Realm had gathered in the great hall of their cavernous dwelling and were feasting merrily. Everything had been prepared accordingly and looked perfect.

Lamps and lanterns of silver and yellowish light were hung on long strings from tree branch to pillar and from pillar to branch. They beautifully illuminated the otherwise dark caverns, and caused myriads of shadows to dance on the walls, creating a mysterious, almost sacramental atmosphere.

Elven musicians were perched on the lower boughs of the trees and were playing slow, mesmerizing music on their harps and flutes, accompanying their gentle sound with songs and chants that praised the pure, untainted beauty of starlight. Some of the songs were uplifting, others sounded more melancholic, but all of them had a common lyrical theme and spoke to the hearts of the participants.

To the music many elves danced and also sang along, for dance and song were a favorite of all elves of all races. And their dances were comprised of various moves and ministrations. Some were slow and flowing like the waters of a deep river, while others were more vivid and lively, and the elves danced and swirled and made merry to their hearts content.

Great and long tables, as one would expect to see in a grand feast, were not to be found. Instead, thick carpets were laid on the floor, and the elves either sat upon those or on short stools and large, plush cushions. This was done in memory of the times when Mereth nuin Giliath would be celebrated out in the forest, under the branches of the trees and in closeness with nature.

Plenty of food and wine was displayed in front of the elves: breads, pies, a variety of vegetables as well as fruit like plums and berries, and also various cheeses and sweet delicacies of every kind were available to the hungry participants. The servants came and went, filling and refilling the goblets again and again over the night, the wine flowing freely until everyone's thirst was quenched, and everyone's heart was light and their sorrows lifted.

On slightly higher ground and to the northern wall were the designated seats for the King, the Prince and their guests. In a half-circle they were leisurely seated, leaning on comfortable cushions and enjoying the festivities. In the middle sat the Elvenking and on his right was his son. Next to the Prince sat Lossendis, and on the King's right was Tauriel with Arwen next to her. All of them were beautifully dressed. Arwen wore a silken white dress that made her look like a glimmering star herself, while Lossendis' gown was azure in color, and Tauriel's was dressed in the color of the peach. Legolas' garments were a wonderful cypress green, while his father had chosen black robes and a silver cloak. Both royal ellyn were crowned, with Thranduil wearing his winter crown and Legolas a fine silver circlet.

Pleasant conversation was held among the five elves, with Arwen and Lossendis looking particularly enthusiastic and pleased with the feast.

"I did not imagine Mereth nuin Giliath would be so wonderful! I had imagined grandeur, but this surpasses my expectations!" Lossendis exclaimed happily.

"Had you truly expected anything less, my lady?" asked Thranduil with an arrogantly raised eyebrow and a tone of condescension.

The dark-haired elleth was not daunted by the King's attitude. "The merriment is astounding; I marvel at your people's spirit my lord, but for the dark times we are living", she replied politely.

"The woodland elves have always lived in attunement with nature and under the light of the stars. No Darkness will ever take this away from us", spoke Legolas fervently and gave his beloved a tender look. Then he turned his face to the other side and spoke again. "You should have seen Tauriel taking part in the festivities a couple of hundred years ago!" he said, while a playful grin danced on his lips, illuminating his bright blue eyes.

Tauriel smiled and blushed at the Prince's comment, lowering her head slightly. Thranduil had his eyes trained on her and observed her in silence, with a faint smile gracing his fine, sharp features and alleviating his demeanor of its previous haughtiness.

"Is that true, my friend? Would you be a protagonist of the feast in the past?" Arwen asked her with a pleasant look on her glowing face.

Tauriel turned to her. "It is quite true, I will not argue", she responded, tilting her head to the side, and smiled, while her memory traveled to years gone, when her heart was innocent and free of burden. "I used to dance and sing all night long, together with my friends and comrades from the Guard", she said in a dreamy voice and lowered her gaze.

Thranduil felt a stab of nostalgia in his heart, and let out an inaudible sigh. "Do you not miss those times, Captain?" he asked in a soft tone, deliberately using her old title.

Tauriel briefly turned her eyes to him before looking away. "Well… sometimes I do…" she spoke reluctantly.

"I do miss them", Thranduil said in a quiet but firm tone, almost as if he was speaking to himself, and also looked away, turning his gaze to the dancing elves.

Arwen watched their exchange through a keen eye, remembering Tauriel's narrations of their love, and understood that the Elvenking truly wished for the former Captain to return to Mirkwood and at his side.

"These times may be gone, but they are not lost", she said quietly and smiled to Tauriel, sparing also a glance to Thranduil, and it was knowing and full of sympathy.

He turned and briefly locked eyes with the daughter of Elrond, and in their blue-grey depths he unexpectedly saw understanding and compassion. The thought crossed his head then that Tauriel must have spoken to her of their love, and she knew.

He nodded to Arwen. "One can trust to hope, my lady", he said solemnly.

"Ada, do not let your mood darken", Legolas intervened and placed his hand on Thranduil's arm. "The feast is only begun and there is a long and merry night ahead of us", he said and smiled warmly.

"What do you mean, Legolas? Is there more to expect?" Lossendis asked with renewed interest.

"Of course. The most wonderful part of the feast is yet to come. Just wait and you shall see", he replied and gave her an intentionally mysterious look.

"Do not spoil it for her, Legolas", Thranduil turned to his son with a faint smile and then slipped a berry in his mouth.

"Oh, but I did not intend to!" the Prince responded and chuckled.

Lossendis laughed along and then emptied her goblet. Legolas sought to refill it immediately.

"I fear you seek to bring me under the sway of wine, my lord…" she whispered in a lilting voice and leaned to his side.

Legolas felt a tingling warmth spreading through his body, and smiled to Lossendis, also leaning slightly closer to her.

"I do not think I am in need of the effect wine may have on you in order to be in your good graces, my lady", he responded and a mischievous grin danced on his lips.

Lossendis laughed softly and clinked her goblet with the Prince's.

Thranduil watched them out of the corner of his eye, and his heart was warmed. The ice in his eyes had melted and his expression was one of love and pride for his son. Apparently, Legolas and Lossendis wished not to keep their courting a secret, as their hearts clearly belonged together. And that was fine with the Elvenking; he was determined not to intervene or object to his son's decisions and choices anymore.

Born in the year 1086 of the Third Age, Legolas was nearly two thousand years old. He was wise and experienced, a seasoned warrior with a sharp mind and a gentle heart. He was everything his father was not, and Thranduil could see that Legolas surpassed him in many ways. He truly belonged with the future, and no old and sulking ellon had the right to stand as an obstacle in his path, even if this ellon was his own father.

Thranduil's thought then turned to Tauriel, who sat and conversed with Arwen in low tones. Unlike Legolas and his lady, she was careful of her ministrations, wishing not to attract any unwanted attention. She would only rarely look at him, and never touch him. Clearly she wanted no one to think anything of the romantic sort was going on between her and the King.

Legolas and Lossendis then stood, announcing they would be dancing, and invited the rest of their company to follow.

"Absolutely not, Legolas. Do you not already know I do not like dancing?" Thranduil's refusal was downright absolute, and his dark brow furrowed, casting shadows on his pale eyes.

"But father… Do it for your people. It has been centuries since the elves had last seen their King dance", the Prince tried to object, but his father would not have it.

He waved his hand in a dismissive way. "No. You may dance if you will, but I will not follow", he said in a voice indicating he would hear no more.

"How about you, ladies? Will you accompany us?" It was Lossendis' turn to speak.

"No, my lady, thank you. I would rather remain seated", Tauriel politely declined.

Lossendis pouted at her and then turned her eyes to Arwen expectantly.

"Oh well, if an ellon comes and asks me to a dance, then perhaps I shall dance!" she replied merrily and laughed, her laughter the charming sound of twinkling bells and running waters.

The Prince and his lady raised their brows and shrugged at the reluctance of their companions, and had no choice but move along to dance and leave the others seated, since they so wished.

In fact, Arwen would have gladly danced, were it not for Tauriel's worried look at the prospect of being left alone with the King in front of all his people. So, she wisely chose to remain seated for now and maintain the looks of a friendly company.

The perceptive Elvenking understood this as well, but chose not to speak.

A servant came then before the King and his guests and brought them a new jug of wine and a platter of sweets and pies. Carefully he placed the goods before them and then bowed reverently to his lord and left.

Thranduil turned to Arwen and spoke. "It is my hope that the daughter of Elrond is enjoying herself in my halls", he said, and his piercing eyes were trained on her.

"Definitely, my lord. I am honored to be the recipient of your grace. You are spoiling me, I daresay!" she replied in cheerful tones and smiled brightly.

"I would have it no other way. The daughter of Elrond deserves no less", he commented, and gave a side-glance to Tauriel, who had been looking at him. "We had received incomparable hospitality in Imladris. It stands right that I return the favor".

"Those days in Imladris I remember fondly", the red-haired elleth spoke quietly, but she looked at Thranduil and a smile lit her face.

He was gazing at her deeply, with love and longing in the depths of his starlit eyes, barely capable of refraining from extending his hand and touching her. Tauriel did not avert her eyes, feeling drawn to him, and her heart began beating faster.

"How about you, Captain? Are you enjoying yourself enough?" he asked her.

She nodded. "Yes, my lord. I have many memories of Mereth nuin Giliath from years gone, but never before have I enjoyed such luxury… or the King's company", she spoke rather boldly, and instantly regretted her slip of the tongue. With utter despair she thought that she would never manage to get a hold of her tongue.

"You may enjoy his company whenever you wish", he said brazenly, straightening his back and raising an eyebrow smugly.

Tauriel gasped at his unabashed flirtation and lowered her eyes. She had not expected him to act so forward in public, and it bothered her that he chose to cross the line she had set. But then perhaps it had been primarily her fault, when her quick tongue recklessly gave him ground to step on.

Thranduil felt a measure of irritation rise inside him at her choice to play pretense in front of Arwen, who clearly knew what the state of their relationship was. But did she really take him for such a fool? Did she really think he would not realize Arwen knew? He had lived for thousands of years, and the people's characters and reactions were not a mystery to him. He could decipher every glance thrown and every word uttered.

"There is no need to look so alarmed, Tauriel", he said in a steady tone, hiding his irritation. "I believe we three here share some common knowledge. Correct me, please, if I am mistaken", he went on and looked at the two ellith, challenging them to contradict him.

Arwen looked at him apologetically, and then she glanced at Tauriel, whose lips were drawn in a thin line and her eyes were fixed on the cheese before her.

"That is right, my lord. You are not mistaken. But a public display is not on my mind", Tauriel spoke in a controlled tone, while her body remained rigid beside Thranduil's, as she was trying to suppress her hurt and anger.

He regarded her with steely eyes for a short while, and then looked away to the dancers. "Of course".

"Please, my lord and lady, do not let your moods turn sour. This is a night of feasting and merriment, it is a celebration of the silver starlight, not one of sorrow. And it saddens my heart to see you both embittered now", Arwen spoke and her words were tender and heartfelt.

Thranduil sighed and lowered his gaze, while tears rose unbidden in Tauriel's eyes, but she forbid them to spill. Silence fell on the three, as no one wished to speak a word.

Legolas and Lossendis then emerged from the crowd, their faces reddened and smiling, as hand in hand they walked and returned to their company.

The contrast between those two and the three others was striking.

"You should have joined us!" Legolas exclaimed as he took his seat by his father's side. Lossendis clung on his arm and smiled brightly. "The feast will be soon moving outside. Lossendis, Arwen, this is a sight you should not miss!" he went on in the same happy tones.

"I would love that, my lord Legolas", Arwen smiled kindly at him, but Thranduil and Tauriel did not respond.

Legolas noticed their distant, unfocused gazes and their frowns, and realized something had gone awry between them. But he wisely chose not to inquire anything on the matter.

"What will happen outside, Legolas?" Lossendis asked impatiently, and his attention was drawn back to her.

"Oh, you will see… For now, I will only tell you that everyone will pick up a lantern and walk outside, forming a line", he said and made a short pause before going on, his eyes now cast low and his voice softer. "I have a faint memory, from when I was a small elfling of a few years. My mother would always walk first in this line, holding a lantern burning with silver light, leading our people out into the forest, when it was still green and untainted…"

Legolas won sympathetic looks from Lossendis and Arwen, with the first gently squeezing his arm in support. Thranduil felt a lump form in his throat at the distant memory, and he strove with all his might to maintain his collected appearance, but his brow twitched slightly and the depths of his eyes trembled.

 _First in line walked Lothrin, their snow-crowned Elvenqueen, and right after her followed her husband, Thranduil Elvenking. For this celebration was in honor of the Valie Varda, and it was the Queen's right to lead her people in the forest, and the King's duty was to follow second in line._

 _A silver-white dress she wore; long was the trim of the sleeves and longer still the gown's trail, and silver thread was embroidered in the likeness of countless little stars. Upon her loose, white tresses sat a crown of winter twigs and mistletoe. An ornate lantern she held in her delicate hand, and pale golden light emanated from it. Walking behind her, Thranduil watched her radiant form in awe and reverence._

 _Soon they would reach the clearing, and their voices would be united in praise of Elbereth…_

His gaze was deep and distant, as he was lost in memory, and a sorrowful frown had descended upon his brow. This reaction did not go unnoticed by Tauriel, who felt sorry for him and inwardly wished to reach out, touch him and comfort him, but her earlier bitterness and, most importantly, her decided code of public conduct did not allow her such ministrations.

Then Thranduil forced himself out of his musings and rose to his feet, drawing up to the whole of his elegant and tall stature, and spoke to his guests with a polite but guarded smile.

"You will forgive me, now, my honored guests, for as King I must not ignore my courtiers and councilors", he said, slightly tilting his head to the side, and then turned and left at once, without waiting for them to rise and bow to his departure.

The four were stunned into silence, having not anticipated the King's sudden decision to leave, but all of them understood all too well the reason behind it. Lossendis leaned again on Legolas' arm with a faded smile on her face, while Arwen sat and quietly sipped her wine. Tauriel watched him as he paced away, unable to help the feeling of bereavement and abandonment.

The feast went on in the same manner for some time still, until the elves started to rise from the seats one by one and the songs and dances gradually ceased. Everyone took a small lantern to hold, and slowly, reverentially even, they walked out of the feasting hall. The Prince urged the ladies to follow him, and, the four of them took also lanterns and walked with the woodland folk.

Tauriel's eyes searched for the tall figure of the King in the dimly-lit room and amongst the countless dancing shadows, but she was able to spot him only when they had moved out of the hall and the great doors.

There the Elvenking walked first of his people, holding a silver lantern in his right hand. He paced upon the long bridge that crossed over the forest river, and he shone like a star in his silver cloak. Legolas then came to walk second behind him, and after him came Arwen, Lossendis and Tauriel. The file went on and on, as the elves of Mirkwood joined in and followed their King. Nobody spoke, but walked in absolute silence. Only the sounds of the night were to be heard, and it was a night cold and windless.

On and on went the elves, resembling an endless string of lights, walking beneath tree and branch and with their flickering lanterns in hand, and their sight would truly look magical and eerie to an outsider. Such was their resplendence and grave demeanor now.

And then they came to a large clearing of the forest, where they stopped and formed a large circle. When everyone had taken their places and were standing still, the Elvenking walked forth and stood in the center of the circle. Raising his arms and lifting his eyes to the sky, he began chanting ancient prayers to Elbereth Gilthoniel, and his voice resonated deep and loud, but also warm and humble before the Valie of the stars.

"A Elbereth Gilthoniel, silivren penna míriel, o menel aglar elenath! Na-chaered palan-díriel o galadhremmin ennorath, Fanuilos, le linnathon, nef aear, sí nef aearon! A Elbereth Gilthoniel, o menel palan-diriel, le nallon sí di'nguruthos! A tiro nin, Fanuilos!"

So sang the Elvenking, repeating these verses several times, in a slow and enchanting rhythm that had all elves standing silent and in reverence of the great Valie. He turned his eyes to the stars, and their silver light was reflected in the depth of his gaze, and although his heart cried for hope and love and the protection of the Lady of the Stars, his countenance was solemn and sorrowful.

A shiver ran down Tauriel's spine as she heard Thranduil chanting; she had heard him chant this hymn countless times before, but this time her ears had a different perception to his voice, which made her shudder and tremble to her core. She looked at him, his hair glistening like molten silver under the starlight, his skin glowing alabaster white and his raiment radiant as the dress of a star itself.

The chant was then ended, as the Elvenking's voice faded into silence, and he knelt and bent his head to Varda's magnificence, bringing his hand upon the place of his heart. The elves in the circle did the same, and everybody knelt in honor of the Lady of the Stars.

Silent and bent they remained for some moments, and then they rose. The ritual was over, and the circle broke as the participants walked away, each to their own, keeping to their families and friends. This was the time for prayers and recollection, as they all dispersed and sat on the grass under the stars.

Legolas took Lossendis' arm and they walked away, wishing to pray in private for their love and future on this earth. Arwen kept close to Tauriel, although some of her old friends and comrades approached her and offered their friendly thoughts and wishes. But soon the two ellith were left on their own, as the elves went to find those closest to their hearts.

Tauriel looked around warily. "Thranduil… where is he?" she asked Arwen.

"He disappeared in the shadows. Where he went, I know not. My thought is that he wishes to be on his own", the daughter of Elrond replied, and touched her friend's arm lightly.

"He keeps away from me…" she said and grief fell upon her brow.

"This is not your fault. He still feels sorrow and pain too profoundly", Arwen spoke wisely and then led her friend away and to the bank of the river that flowed close to the clearing. There they sat down, placing their lanterns next to them.

"I think he is still bothered by our silent argument earlier. There are things left unspoken", Tauriel commented thoughtfully, as she picked up and toyed with a pebble.

"Are you not also embittered by his stance? You certainly looked so then", Arwen asked and looked at her with care.

"In truth, I am somewhat upset. He crossed a line. Forgive me, my lady, for having you witness such a scene", Tauriel said remorsefully.

"You are both living beings with feelings, and you have suffered many hardships. You need not apologize. Such quarrels are understandable between lovers", Arwen spoke tenderly.

Tauriel looked at her with teary but grateful eyes. "Thank you, my good friend, for sharing yours words of counsel with me. They truly lessen the pain and sorrow in my heart", she said in a low, emotional voice and took Arwen's hand in hers.

Arwen smiled warmly and nodded. Then she looked around, to the dark shapes of the thick trees.

"Lift your eyes and look around, Tauriel. This is a magical night, a blessed, special night. Such must have been the night when Melian met Thingol in the forest of Nan Elmoth, or the night Luthien met Beren in the forests of Doriath. The blessing of Elbereth Gilthoniel is upon us now, and none should give their hearts unto sorrow", Arwen spoke in a breathy voice, and her eyes sparkled.

"Arwen…" Tauriel whispered her name with some reluctance, trying to decipher the meaning of her words.

"Go to him, search for him, find him", she urged her friend fervently.

"No, Arwen. I will not leave you alone. It was me who invited you to Mirkwood, and I will not abandon you to loneliness", Tauriel said and was firm in her response.

"Oh, my noble and gentle Tauriel…" Arwen said and smiled softly. "He needs you much more than I do right now".

"Please, insist no more. Accept my decision to stay with you, will you?" Tauriel pleaded, and Arwen finally nodded.

After some moments of silence the dark-haired elleth spoke.

"I have heard that your people used to spend all night out in the forest when they celebrated Mereth nuin Giliath. Is that true?" she asked.

"Yes… Or at least it had been true in the past, before the Shadow fell on our forest. Now it is too dangerous to remain outside all night long. I expect that at some point later we will return to the halls", Tauriel replied.

Arwen nodded and then looked at her. "What will you pray for, Tauriel?"

The red-haired elleth inhaled the wintery chill air deeply. "For peace… for the Shadow to be lifted from the forest…" she began.

"Will you not pray for yourself?" the lady of Imladris inquired.

Tauriel turned her eyes to her and thought for a while before replying. "I will pray for him".

Arwen smiled and tears rose to her eyes, as her heart was touched. "You love him deeply".

"As you love Aragorn. Will you not pray for him?" Tauriel asked and searched her eyes.

Arwen's gaze flickered and trembled. "Yes… I will pray for him", she whispered and cast her eyes low.

The two ellith sat side by side in silence, each lost in her own thoughts and prayers, and a long time passed before footsteps and low voices were heard in the distance.

Tauriel turned her eyes and saw the elves slowly gathering to the clearing.

"Come, Arwen. It is time for the leave taking".

"What does this mean?" she wondered, as both rose to their feet.

Tauriel sighed. "Mereth nuin Giliath is not only a celebration of starlight for the woodland elves. It marks also the day every year, when every elf that wishes to leave Middle Earth and sail to the Undying Lands will depart. It has not always been so; but in the latter years and under the growing oppression of the Shadow and the diminishing of our kind it had been decided that the departure would take place after the feast", she explained.

"May the blessing of Elbereth be upon all those who will leave", breathed Arwen.

"Look. There they gather", Tauriel whispered and nodded towards the western part of the clearing, where around twenty elves stood.

Younger and older, grief-stricken and burdened, these elves could no longer bear to remain in these lands. They were now bidding farewell to loved ones, if they had any left, and exchanging promises with friends that they would one day meet again on the gleaming shores of Valinor.

The King then appeared from the trees and approached the gathered party. He spoke to each of them personally, taking the time to share kind words and memories with them. Saying goodbye to his people always added to the burden in his heart, each time a bit more.

Once he had spoken to them all, he took some distance from the elves that were to depart, and spoke in a loud voice for all to hear.

"Mellyn nin, it is with a heavy heart that I bid you farewell. But the decision of sailing has always been yours to make, and yours alone. No one could deprive you of this right, no matter how much their hearts might bleed at your leaving. For a time comes when an elf hears the call of the sea, and it is a call they cannot resist or stall for long. Your time to depart is come. May your journey be safe and free of toil. May you have green paths and a breeze behind you. May the waves of the sea sing you to the golden shores of Valinor".

His voice, nearly broken in the end, conveyed deep emotion, for Thranduil loved his people dearly, and it pained him to see them depart, never to return. Only memory of their deeds would remain, undimmed by the passing of time.

The small host then bowed one last time to their King, and with teary eyes they lingered, glancing to their loved ones, wishing to make one last memory to hold dear in their hearts. Then one by one they turned and walked slowly away, their silhouettes swallowed by the towering, dark trees, beginning their long journey west.

Their sorrow of parting would soon be replaced with hope and anticipation, for it was the natural path of life for an elf to leave the shores of Middle Earth. But for those who still lingered, sadness was still very near to them for the passing of their kin. One day, they would meet again. But until then, they had a purpose in these lands.

Thranduil watched his elves leaving through misty eyes. No thoughts of sailing had he, although he was old and weary. More than six thousand years he had walked this Middle Earth, nearly from shore to shore, but his heart yearned not for the peace of Valinor. He felt there was still a role for him to play, and a life to be had. Love that stirred anew had filled him with hope for the future, and, although it was a love now mingled with grief, it grew perhaps the greater.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

The three ellith passed the following morning without the company of Thranduil and Legolas, who were very much preoccupied with a lengthy council meeting. Guided by Tauriel, the three of them spent their time in the gardens and in the library of the Elvenking's halls. The former Captain also took her friends to visit her chambers in the afternoon, where they sat and had tea and cake. She spoke to them of her long years in Mirkwood, of her memories and experiences there, since she had first been brought to the halls as an elfling by the ellon she now loved.

But her mood in the end darkened, as her thought turned to Thranduil, for she had not seen him since the previous night. She had abstained from visiting him in his chambers late that night, after the feasting elves had returned to their dwelling, for fear she might be unwelcome, although a voice inside her had urged her to do so. And Thranduil had not come to her either.

However, Tauriel wished not to leave things blurry between them. She did not want to let a rather minor argument spoil the time they were to spend together in Mirkwood. So, she decided to go in search of him, as soon as Arwen and Lossendis had retired to their apartments and would remain there until dinner.

Dressed in a simple tunic and close-fitting breeches in the hues of brown and green, which she loved best and felt most comfortable in, Tauriel set out to find him. He was not in the throne room, and the council chamber was also empty. She next thought to look in the gardens, in case he had wished to breathe some fresh air after the tiresome council meeting, but apparently the Elvenking was not there either. As she returned inside, she happened upon Legolas, and it was he who informed her that his father had retired to his chambers early, claiming that his was feeling unwell.

Beset with dark thoughts and anxiety, she quickly made for the King's rooms.

To her surprise, the door was not locked. She knocked lightly on it, but received no answer. Worried, she pushed the door open and entered the study. The door to his bedchamber was left ajar, and she hesitated, deciding to knock again. This time she did receive an answer.

"What is amiss, Galion? I said I need to rest", Thranduil answered wearily and feeling slightly irritated, but his voice sounded a bit distant.

"Thranduil, it is me, Tauriel", she called to him, still with some reluctance in her tone.

There was a short pause of silence before he spoke. "Come in", he invited her then, and she walked in.

A brief glance around the room let her know that he was not in his bedchamber, so she walked to the bathroom. She stood in the doorway and saw the back of Thranduil's silver head, as he was inside his bathing pool and leaning against the wall of it.

Hesitating again, she spoke in a low voice. "Forgive me for the disturbance, my lord".

"Are we supposed to retain formality even when we are alone, my lady?" he asked with slight sarcasm in his voice, but in truth he was feeling disappointed. He then sighed, and when he spoke again his voice was softer. "You are not disturbing me", he told her, but did not turn to face her still.

Thinking that his words contradicted his stance, Tauriel took a step back.

"But you do not seem fond of having company either… Perhaps it would be best if I went", she murmured.

"Tauriel, stay", he called at her and then turned to face her, placing his elbows and forearms on the marble ledge of the pool and propping himself on it.

Tauriel looked at his naked form for a brief while. Then she walked to him and knelt by the pool, worry evident on her features.

"What is wrong, Thranduil? Legolas told me you said you are unwell. Why?" she asked him and her voice was full of concern.

He sighed before answering, and his eyes were deep and shadowed. "Yesterday took its toll on me".

"But why? Yesterday was a day of celebration. Unless you feel sorrow for the departure of some of our kin", she said and reached to softly caress his wet strands.

He shook his head, indicating that was not the reason why he was feeling so weary. "I was overcome with memory… and feelings", he replied and lowered his eyes, slightly turning from her touch.

"You thought of your wife… when Legolas spoke of her, her memory was brought forth and pained you…" Tauriel whispered and removed her hand, as realization dawned on her.

He nodded in affirmation. "Mereth nuin Giliath is not a time of merriment for me. For nearly two thousand long years it has been a bitter day for me. I had hoped your presence might change that…" Thranduil said and his voice trailed off, the depths of his cerulean eyes trembling.

"But it did not", she spoke the words he had not in a defeated tone, and felt a bitter stab in her heart and tears rising to her eyes.

His face held a grim expression. "Change does not happen overnight", he whispered gravely.

"Does not love change things?" Tauriel cried in agony.

"Yes… but not overnight", Thranduil repeated.

"Is my love not enough then?" she went on in the same tone, feeling dismay creeping in her heart.

Thranduil sighed again and averted his gaze, but did not answer. How could he make her understand that the pain of Lothrin's death and the joy of Lothrin's life would never fade, no matter how much she loved him and he loved her?

Thoroughly shaken and disappointed by his lack of answer, Tauriel spoke again.

"I had hoped my love meant _something_ to you", she uttered in a choked voice and a tear ran down her cheek.

"It means _everything_ to me! How can you doubt that?" he cried and his brow twitched as her words pierced his heart like arrows.

"Does it, Thranduil? For I reckon you think rather lightly of it", she blurted out, as a second tear followed the first.

"Lightly, Tauriel? Why would you say that?" His brow was furrowed and his gaze now darkened.

"I have told you I do not wish our relationship to be known publicly. And yet you shamelessly flirted with me in front of Arwen", she replied, feeling hurt.

"But Arwen knew. Although you had failed to tell me, I realized that she knew", he countered.

"You had no right to speak of us openly, even if you suspected that Arwen knew!" she cried angrily.

"Enough!" Thranduil bellowed and sprang up, and Tauriel was stunned into silence. "You will not tell me what my right is and what is not!" he thundered on, his face a mask of rage now and his hair dripping with water. An ominous look was about him. "You accuse me of thinking lightly of our love, but it was _me_ who asked your hand in marriage and wished to make you my Queen, whereas you cower and hide in Rivendell, keeping away from me, and think our love is a game we can play in secret! Who is thinking lightly of our love, pray tell? Who? Tell me!" His voice boomed in the hollow room and he loomed over Tauriel, anger and fury boiling inside him and his eyes were of icy fire, stern and unforgiving, as his gaze pierced her very soul. She gasped in terror before him, her brow twitching and her resolve wavering, and shrank back in fear.

Like a predator he stood, tall and terrible, his chest heaving with rage and the sharp lines of his face drawn tight, and the elleth quickly rose to her feet and ran out of the bathroom, leaving him alone and seething in the tepid water.

Her heart was racing, for she was feeling deeply hurt and scared. Never before had she seen Thranduil so enraged and intimidating, or rather, she had not felt his unbridled wrath directed to her, and the sight of him shocked her. Even when he had split her bow in pieces with one swift blow of his sword, when she had dared point an arrow to his head, she had not felt as fearful of him as she was feeling now. The sight of his looming height, the violent aggression of his tainted _fea_ , and the dominance of darkness upon his manner and bearing had been at those moments so profound that this dreadful image of him would forever be carved in Tauriel's memory.

Hurriedly and with her breath caught in her throat, she walked out of his bedchamber, but on her way out of his study she caught glimpse of a curious parchment lying upon his desk. She paused in her steps and took it in her hand, brushing away her tears, so that she could look at it clearly.

It was a rough sketch. The figure of an elleth was drawn in black ink, and she was tall and fair. Her hair was long and left uncolored, and upon it she wore a circlet of flames that were marked with red ink. The lady stood beneath a tree, and red flowers were painted on the tree's branches.

Tauriel stared at the figure and her lips and hand quivered, while fresh tears brimmed in her eyes. _This must be Lothrin_ , she thought. _He is ever thinking of her… He will never love me as he loved her. No, not loved._ _He loves her still._

"It is Lothrin", Thranduil's voice was heard, and he spoke as if he had heard her thoughts. He was standing in the doorway and was clad in a simple robe now that clung to his still wet body. But such was her astonishment that she had not heard him approaching.

His face now was calm, regretful even, and there was pain in his eyes. All traces of his previous dark manner had vanished. Tauriel stood with her lips slightly parted and her brow furrowed, unable to utter a word, and she was still looking at the sketch. Belatedly she lifted her eyes to him, as if in question. The hurt and fear he saw in their depths shattered his heart.

"It is an image from a very troubling dream I had many months ago, when I left Rivendell for Mirkwood. A similar dream recurred to me last night. This is why I am in such a foul mood", he sought to explain, and his voice was low and hoarse. "You should not have been the recipient of my wrath. Forgive me", he spoke remorsefully and lowered his gaze.

"You never spoke to me of your dreams…" Tauriel uttered, disregarding his apology and still feeling shocked.

"It was a burden I wished not to relay upon you", he said in a low voice, still not looking at her.

She looked at the sketch again and then set it aside upon the desk. "I thought we were supposed to share our burdens", she whispered in a trembling tone.

"This was… very personal", he said reluctantly. "And I would not burden you unnecessarily".

"Very personal?" she quoted him, stressing each word. "Do you not want me in your personal life, Thranduil? Do you wish to keep me out of it? Out of your heart?" she asked him brokenly, her words dictated by her previous thoughts of not being loved enough, and her heart bleeding as if a dagger was embedded and twisted in it.

"Do you truly want me in yours?" he asked her back and lifted his eyes to her, sharing her pained look.

She gasped. "Is that how you feel?"

"I feel so often rejected by you, Tauriel. You doubted my love for a long time, you do not wish to return to me in Mirkwood, you do not wish to wed me and become my Queen, you do not wish anyone to know about us…" he explained. "You wish to go on living as you have lived till now and pretend what we have is not real… am I wrong?" he spoke in a voice heavily laden with hurt, and a tear made its way down his smooth cheek.

Tauriel swallowed hard, for his words rang awfully true to her ears. She looked at him, now standing there so distressed and broken, and thought that this was the same ellon who had made such passionate love to her only two nights ago.

"I have told you of my fears, Thranduil. It is not because of my lack of love for you that I decline your proposal, but of my wish to not become a Queen and face the hatred of everyone in this kingdom. I have fought so hard to find some measure of peace in my life, and when I at last did find it, you came sweeping through and asked me to turn my life upside down again and embark on a journey I do not wish to embark on!" she cried, and fresh tears spilled from her eyes.

Upon listening to her words, his face fell. "I do not seek to cause you misery or pain, beloved. I accepted your refusal. But, do you not see? I am willing to change so much in my life for you, and damned be anyone who would dare voice an objection to our union, but you will not change anything in yours. You will not even allow me to speak to you fondly in front of a third person. You do not trust me enough. You do not love me enough", he concluded gravely.

"You say I do not love you enough? And what of yourself, hm?" she retorted with bitterness and hurt, and grabbed the sketch again. "Will you deny it is her you love and think of in your hours of solitude? Deny it! I dare you to deny it!" she shouted at him and dangled the parchment in front of his face, a victim of her own rising ire now.

He looked at her in shock, unable to give her a clear answer, for his hours of loneliness belonged both to thoughts of Tauriel and his late wife.

With teary eyes and in a shaky voice he only said, "You cannot ask of me not to love her anymore".

Tauriel was embittered by his reply, perceiving it as an attempt of his to avoid telling her it was Lothrin he truly loved still, and that he could never love her as much as he loved his wife. For that she sought to inflict on him the same kind of hurt he had done her.

"Well, Thranduil, perhaps we are both too wrapped up in our old loves to embrace new ones", she spat and flung the parchment towards him.

"This is not true…" he whispered, stunned and shocked by her ministrations, his brow trembling at the sight of the parchment now lying on the floor before his feet. "But if you cannot find it in your heart to love me as I am… if a future by my side seems so terrible to you… if you feel so unhappy to be associated with me, then I will not stop you from leaving, if that is your wish", he finally told her in a grave and mournful tone.

"Are you _telling_ me to leave, Thranduil?" she whispered, while anger seethed beneath her skin.

"No. I would have you stay forever", he spoke in earnest. "But if our relationship is so dysfunctional and brings you more pain than joy, I would not stop you, should you decide to leave me", he said brokenly, barely holding himself together anymore.

Tauriel stood motionless for a long moment. Thranduil stood there before her, entirely lost in despair and defeat. He looked as if he had not the strength to fight anymore. Should she wish to walk away, he would not stop her. Her mind was racing. She was standing on a knife's edge. Everything was hanging upon her next word. Their relationship, their future, their love: everything depended on her next word.

But what should she choose? The pressure she was feeling was immense. Thranduil was looking deeply into her eyes with a patience cultivated through the long course of the centuries. He was waiting for her verdict. Myriads of thoughts crossed her mind, moments they had shared and words they had exchanged, good and bad.

Could their love survive? Was it worth it? Or was it not?

She was starting to feel nauseous and wobbly under the huge emotional strain, while a scene from two nights before played before her eyes:

 _Thranduil then extended his hand towards her and she gave him hers to hold. He closed her hand in his tightly, as if he would never want to let go. Relishing the incomparable feeling of shared intimacy, he turned his head to Tauriel's direction, who was looking at him with deep love and adoration._

" _I love you", she simply whispered to him, but it was the most important truth of all._

 _A smile of pure joy bloomed on his face and he turned to her side, holding her hand still in his._

" _Then promise me you will never leave me", he asked of her in a fervent but uncertain, fearful even, voice._

 _Tauriel took a long moment to peer deep into his eyes. She remembered that she had asked the same from him when she was an elfling, and smiled to herself. Strange, that so many years later the tables had been turned._

" _I promise"._

Tauriel felt a dizziness coming upon her, and she shuddered and her knees gave way beneath her. Thranduil, very alarmed, rushed to her side and caught her in his arms just before she hit the floor. She was looking very pale and her sight was hazy.

"Tauriel? Meleth nin!" he cried in worry and despair and lifted his palm to her cheek. Her skin was cold to the touch.

Countless thoughts were dancing in her head but she was unable to put them in order or into words. Were their promises hollow and meaningless? Were they feeble-minded like the Edain? Did they not love each other truly? Did they share nothing but lies?

She tried to open her eyes and focus her vision, but the face of Thranduil who stooped above her was still blurred and hazy.

"Thranduil…" she whispered weakly. "I am unwell".

Then she fainted and all conscience of the living world was lost to her.

* * *

Hours went by idly. Afternoon melted into dusk and dusk became night, but Tauriel was still lying unconscious in her cot in the healing ward of the Elvenking's halls.

He had delegated all authority and responsibility pertaining to the realm to Legolas, who also had to hold the dinner and entertain Arwen and Lossendis on his own. For the time being, Thranduil had refused to disclose any kind of information to his son as to his sudden retreat from his duties, but, when Tauriel did not show up for dinner, the Prince's suspicions grew dire. Piecing together the puzzle of his father's agitation and sudden delegation of authority and Tauriel's inexplicable disappearance, Legolas came to realize something was awfully wrong.

After the dinner was ended, he instructed Arwen and Lossendis, who had also been very worried, to retreat to their chambers and wait there. He would go in search of his father and of information.

It was before long that he discovered where he was. Although the guards told him it was the King's order to be left undisturbed, Legolas disregarded their words and marched into the healing ward.

The Prince halted in his step and his expression became one of shock at the sight of a very still and very pale Tauriel. His father was kneeling beside her cot, holding her hand in his, while tears streamed down from his closed eyes.

"Ada…" Legolas uttered. Thranduil slowly opened his eyes and turned them to his son. "What happened?" the younger ellon asked in a very concerned tone.

"We had a row earlier… She was very distressed, and then she lost conscience…" the Elvenking responded, barely able to speak, and turned his eyes back to his beloved's pallid face.

"Has she not come round since?" Legolas asked with his brow furrowed in worry, as he slowly walked close to his father.

"No. She has been like this for hours. And I could be nowhere else but by her side. This is why I delegated everything to you, ion nin", he explained in a choked voice.

"Why did you not tell me earlier?" the Prince demanded, albeit in a measured tone.

Thranduil sighed. "I knew you would be very upset and worried if I told you. And I did not know for how long Tauriel would remain unconscious. There were our guests also, who I did not want to alarm needlessly. Someone had to run the kingdom, son", he spoke earnestly.

"But we were all extremely alarmed by your sudden retreat and Tauriel's absence, ada", Legolas countered, but his voice was soft. It conveyed complaint, not reproach.

"Forgive me, ion nin. I was in no state to think clearly. I am still unable to", Thranduil said in resignation and despair, and then bent his head upon the mattress, while uncontrollable sobs wrecked his entire existence.

Legolas was shocked to see his father in such a state of utter anguish and unfathomable pain. It scared him to see the proud and arrogant Elvenking now brought down by grief, and lost to weeping and lamenting his lover's fate. It was only now that the Prince caught a glimpse of how his father must have felt when Lothrin died, and reason told him that he should multiply the torment he was now witnessing hundredfold.

He came and knelt beside him, carefully placing a hand on his shoulder. His wish was to provide his father with comfort, but how would he react to it?

Thranduil stilled momentarily when he felt the touch, but made no attempt to be rid of it. On the contrary, he leaned into Legolas' arms, and allowed his son to embrace and hold his hunched and grieving form.

"Ada…" the younger ellon whispered sorrowfully. It was heart-wrenching and also unexpected for Thranduil to seek comfort in his son's arms, and Legolas felt a measure of uneasiness as he held his father. "Please… calm down… Weeping will not help her come round", he advised him in a soft tone.

Thranduil drew a little back, stilling his sobs, although his tears still ran freely. "I cannot lose her, Legolas. I lost Lothrin, and her death nearly brought about my own demise. Had it not been for you, I would have faded... I cannot lose Tauriel, for I will surely die this time". His gaze was lost and his voice was low and fatigued as he spoke. "My strength is spent, son. I will not be able to bear it. I will not survive".

"Hush, father. Speak not such words of doom. Tauriel is not lost to us. She lives yet. What do the healers say on the matter?" Legolas tried to speak reasonably, but his heart was fluttering inside his chest.

"Alfirimbes said it was the huge emotional stress that caused her to enter this state of non-responsiveness, but she cannot explain why she remains unconscious still. Her breathing and her heartbeat are normal, but her conscience wanders beyond this world. We should watch over her and wait. Trying to wake her might prove disastrous. This is all she said", Thranduil replied and looked again at the impassive face of the red-haired elleth. "This is my fault, Legolas", he whispered with guilt choking up his voice. "I let wrath and fury take over me… I shouted at her… I frightened her terribly… and then I told her she does not love me enough… It is all my fault! Oh, I feel so ashamed and guilty, ion nin!" he cried.

A new wave of despair washed over Thranduil as his shoulders shuddered again and he wept, hiding his face in his palms.

Legolas shook him by the shoulders. "Ada! Do not condemn yourself so easily. It is absurd that a quarrel or a frightful situation should render her comatose. There must be another explanation to this. By your leave, I will ride to Imladris. Lord Elrond might be able to help", he offered.

For a while the Elvenking stared at his son blankly, as if he was unable to comprehend the meaning of his words. "Elrond?" he muttered.

"Yes, father. He is an expert healer, and possesses yet greater gifts. You know what I speak of... Apart from that, he is your friend. He knows you. He will help both you and Tauriel. Let me go to him", spoke Legolas softly, almost pleadingly.

"Ion nin, what would I do without you in this dark hour of despair?" Thranduil breathed and the corners of his lips drew up in a trembling smile, which lasted only for a few fleeting moments. "Arrange for Arwen and Lossendis to remain here in safety for as long as it is needed, and speak to them of the situation, if you must. Arwen knows of the true nature of my relationship with Tauriel, and perhaps your lady knows as well-"

"She does, father. Tauriel told them both, since they are the only close friends she has", Legolas interrupted him briefly.

The Elvenking nodded. "Saddle a horse and ride to Rivendell at first light, but take a few guards with you. I would not have you traverse the forest on your own, son. Enough worries I have on my mind already", he told him with great care in his tone.

Legolas nodded. "I know, ada. Worry not for me now. I will ride at full speed and I will do as I must", the Prince spoke steadily.

"Find Elrond and let him know of everything. I will be waiting for your arrival, and pray you will not be late", Thranduil said anxiously.

"We will not", said Legolas and there was determination in his voice.

"Thank you, ion nin", whispered the King and drew his son into his arms.

"Be safe father. Do not let your heart falter, and trust to hope", he told him and then stood. "Farewell".

"Farewell, Legolas. May the Valar light your way", he gave him his blessing, and then the Prince turned and left.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Riding their horses at full speed and taking as little rest as possible, it was in only four days that Legolas and lord Elrond covered the distance between Rivendell and the Elvenking's halls in northern Mirkwood.

Once they were past the great gates, they paused not for refreshments but made straight for the healing ward. In the main room they found the chief healer, Alfirimbes, who with sorrow informed them that Tauriel's condition had not changed in the least, and then showed them to the room she was kept.

Upon entering, they saw Thranduil perched on the foot of her bed and leaning against the wooden board. He was dressed very plainly, in a grey tunic and breeches, and he wore no crown upon his hair. His head was hung in defeat and hopelessness, his face was pale and drawn, his eyes deep and shadowed, and his mouth a thin frowning line.

"Father! I have returned with lord Elrond", Legolas called to him and strode inside, and Thranduil turned his eyes to them, a faint flicker of hope now lit in their depths.

He rose from the bed and nodded to his son. Then he looked at the lord of Imladris. "Elrond… thank you for coming at once, mellon nin. Please forgive the absence of grand receptions", Thranduil spoke in quiet and informal tones.

Elrond walked close to his friend and a sad smile was upon his face. "There is no need for such, Thranduil. I am here now to help Tauriel in any way I can", he said in a warm voice.

"Look at her, Elrond, how pale and unmoving she is. Nothing has changed since she first became like this, now four days ago", the Elvenking said and slowly walked close to Tauriel and took her cold hand in his.

Elrond came and looked at the elleth's pallid face, her closed eyes and colorless lips. Sadness and worry descended upon his brow.

"Legolas spoke to me of the events prior to her falling into this state. He told me you had a serious quarrel, but perhaps a few more details would provide me with some more insight", the lord of Imladris said and turned his expectant gaze to Thranduil.

He glanced over to his son, who was standing still and serious by the bed's foot, thoughtful and wordless at the sight of his comatose friend, and a deep frown was upon his handsome face.

"Legolas…" he called at him softly, and the Prince lifted his eyes to his father. "Thank you for bringing lord Elrond here. Would you mind allowing us some privacy for a while?" he asked of him, and Legolas wondered at his father's kind and tender tone.

"Of course. I will see that the ladies Arwen and Lossendis are fine, and let them know lord Elrond is here. Perhaps that will ease their worries somewhat. My lord", he then said turning to Elrond, "at any point, should you wish to see your daughter, you may call and I will bring her to you", he spoke in earnest.

Elrond smiled and nodded. "Thank you, young Prince. Your kindness and gentleness of heart will one day help reshape Middle Earth", he spoke his words of wisdom and foresight.

A glint of hope shone in Legolas' bright blue eyes, and then he bowed to Elrond and his father and exited the healing ward.

"Forgive me for not letting you know first and foremost that Arwen is well, but naturally worried for her friend. My grief has clouded my judgement and thought, and the son has become wiser than the father", Thranduil said in a regretful tone.

"Worry not, mellon. I understand the pain of your heart, and I begrudge you nothing. Come now, speak to me of the matter at hand", the lord of Imladris urged the Elvenking.

He sighed and tried to put his thoughts in order before speaking.

"You already know of the nature of the relationship Tauriel and I share. It is one of love; not friendly love or fatherly love, but the kind of love shared between husband and wife", he spoke in a low voice, seeking to remind Elrond of the truth he had shared with him a few months ago.

The grey-eyed elf lord simply nodded and made no comment on Thranduil's words, who was thus encouraged to go on.

"Our path so far has not been a smooth one. Tauriel had difficulty coming to terms with her feelings, and has constantly doubted mine, for I am darkened and Lothrin's ghost ever looms over my heart. Even after she realized her love for me and we revealed the truth of our hearts to each other, there have been dark moments between us. For I am susceptible to grief, and it mingles with my love for her, leading Tauriel to believe I do not love her enough, or as much as I loved my wife. She harbors many fears in her youthful, but grief-stricken heart. I have asked her to marry me and be my Queen, but she has declined, being unwilling to lift the burden and responsibility that comes with the title. She believes she will be mocked and frowned upon by our people, for she had once been marked as a traitor. My words of reassurance are not enough, and I grieve and bleed that my love alone is not enough to make her happy", he lamented and covered his now teary eyes with his palm.

Elrond watched him with compassionate and sympathetic eyes, but remained silent still, giving him a moment to recollect himself. Once he was ready, the Elvenking resumed his narration.

"What I have already told you paints the background of our story. I will now tell you what happened right before she fell into this state of undisturbed sleep", he said and sighed. "During the celebration of Mereth nuin Giliath, she was embittered by my choice to speak to her fondly in front of others. Said others were only Arwen, who I had realized knew the truth. We spoke no more from that moment on, and as the feast progressed and we came to the rituals in the forest, I gave myself unto sorrow and grief, consumed by memories of Lothrin. Neither of us sought the other until the afternoon of the following day, when she came to find me in my chambers, where I had retreated, still in the grip of sorrow. Furthermore, a troubling dream had occurred to me the previous night, and it was a dream about Lothrin and the past. My mood was darkened and I wished not for company, but I allowed Tauriel to stay. Seeing her worry for me, I tried to explain to her what Mereth nuin Giliath means to me and why it is not a merry celebration for me anymore. It was my mistake to tell her that I had hoped her presence might change that, for I led her to believe that her love was not enough for me, and that I would forever love my wife more than I love her. From that point on our exchange spiraled out of control. I yielded to the darkness in my _fea_ and became enraged, I shouted at her and intimidated her far more than was my intention, and she ran away in fear", Thranduil said and his voice broke as he uttered the last words, overcome with pain and remorse for his actions.

Elrond was listening to him with a deep frown of concern now and his arms folded in front of his chest. There was too much darkness and complexity in their relationship and feelings, and he found it upsetting and unsettling.

"As soon as I realized what had transpired, cold waves of remorse washed over me and I sought to go after her. She was in my study, looking at a sketch I had made of the dream I had. Her face was one of horror and deep hurt, Elrond, and I cannot even begin to describe to you how terrible I felt as I beheld her at that moment. I spoke to her briefly of the dream then, but it did not help us come to an understanding; it only worsened things further, with each of us questioning the other's love and commitment to what we have. In the end I told her that she may walk away if she so wished, for I could not bear to see her so miserable and burdened by my faulty love and darkened self. She stood shaken and pensive for a long moment, and that is the last thing I know, because in the next she was lying in my arms, eyes fluttering weakly, and the last thing she told me before fainting is that she was unwell. And that is how she came to be like this, and has not awaken since", Thranduil concluded and sighed.

Then he bent over his beloved's still form and dropped a feathery kiss on her brow. There was no response from her side.

"I see. I agree with your healer's opinion that it was the immense emotional stress that caused her to faint, but her prolonged state of non-responsiveness is another matter entirely. Her body is healthy and intact, but her spirit, I fear, is wandering beyond it, beyond this world", Elrond spoke, his gaze lost in deep thought and his brow still furrowed in concern.

"What do you mean, Elrond? Will she die?" the Elvenking whispered in dismay.

"Do not alarm yourself needlessly. I do not think she will die, unless it becomes her wish to do so. Allow me to pay a visit to your library, for I have something in my mind pertaining to her condition, and I would like to search for information and look further into it before I speak. I remember you keep there ancient books written by Melian, and it is my hope they will prove useful now", Elrond said and the depths of his grey eyes glinted with confidence.

"Of course, mellon nin. Legolas was right. Your help is invaluable", Thranduil said, clearly touched and now even a little hopeful.

Then he called for a servant and ordered him to show lord Elrond to the library and to the apartments readied for him, should he wish to retire. The lord of Imladris then left, and Thranduil returned to his perch upon the foot of Tauriel's bed. He watched her for long hours and prayed to the Valar she would return to the waking world soon.

* * *

In the final hours of the long winter night, when darkness at last withered into pale grey dawn, Tauriel's brow twitched ever so lightly, and her breath quickened. Asleep by her side, claimed at last by exhaustion and desolation, Thranduil took no notice of this slight change. She did not wake up, though; she was only dreaming…

 _Tauriel was wandering in a vast, snow-covered plain. Nothing she could hear but the howling wind blowing on her face and through her hair. She looked around confused, trying to orientate herself, but there was no sun, moon or stars to be seen in the endless grey sky. There was a faint ambient light, and it was dimly reflected on the snow._

 _Feeling lost and desolate she walked on aimlessly, out of conscience and out of time._

" _Please!" she cried. "Help me!"_

 _Her voice echoed in the distance, and the wind carried it away, but no one was there to answer her plea._

 _She was wondering what this place was and how she got there. All she could remember was Thranduil's agitated face, as he was looking down on her and holding her in his arms._

" _Thranduil! Thranduil!"_

 _Countless times she called his name, her voice a cry of agony and grief, but response she received none. Devastation and fear gripped her heart. How had she come to be all alone and isolated on this strange, otherworldly and eerie place?_

" _Be still and walk no more, Tauriel", a voice was suddenly heard, and it was a velvety, female voice._

 _Tauriel spun around, utterly startled by the unexpected sound, only to face a maiden clad in white. Tall she was and fair, and her white hair came in long tresses about her shoulders and far beyond. Her eyes were of the deepest blue, and a kind smile was upon her unnaturally beautiful face. Her icon seemed oddly familiar to Tauriel, and then she realized she was the lady from Thranduil's sketch._

" _You are the maiden from his dream…" Tauriel whispered in astonishment._

" _Yes. I am Lothrin. I was his wife", she spoke. "Do not fear me. Come close", she invited Tauriel with an outstretched arm._

 _She did as she was told, feeling inexplicably drawn to the white lady, but nevertheless fearful._

" _What is this place? Is it a device of yours? Have you brought me here? What do you want from me?" Tauriel assaulted her with questions._

" _Calm your nerve, young one. This is not a trick of mine… and yet it is", she replied with a mischievous grin and her eyes twinkled._

" _What do you mean? Do not speak in riddles, please!" Tauriel cried in exacerbation._

" _This place is beyond conscience of the living world. Neither of us here is truly real; we are but thoughts, memories and wishes, faint sighs of the world as you know it. But it is only in this hazy plane between life and death that I could contact you, Tauriel. My wretched fea cannot take any form or appearance, save slip into transcendent dreams and visions, and that only rarely still", she explained in her velvety voice. "And now walk with me"._

 _Tauriel walked beside her, still feeling very apprehensive. "Why did you wish to contact me?" she demanded._

" _Because you need to understand. You need to see", Lothrin replied._

" _To see what? Where are you taking me?" she asked her anxiously._

" _Hush. Do not be hasty. All will be done in due time, and time we have plenty of", the white lady spoke with a mysterious smile on her lips._

 _Then she waved with her hand and a scene appeared before them. To her amazement, Tauriel saw a marble garden take form in front of their eyes, everything carved in utmost mastery and art, its beauty unmatched by anything she had ever seen. Many kinds of flowers grew in the flowerbeds, but most prominent and abundant amongst them all was niphredil._

" _The gardens of Menegroth", Lothrin quietly explained, her voice carrying reverence and longing._

 _She took her to walk on the paths of her youth, until they came in the center of the gardens, where a tall tree grew. Dark grey was its trunk, white were its leaves, and reddish flowers were upon its branches._

" _This is our tree. It was the place of our meetings, and beneath its shade he asked me to be his wife", Lothrin said, and her gaze wandered to the blooming flowers and the twinkling of the light as sunrays fell on leaf and blossom._

 _Tauriel looked up in marvel, for such a magnificent tree she had never beheld before. Only the mallorn trees of Lorien could perhaps surpass its splendor._

" _Take my hand now, Tauriel, and see through the eyes of my memory a scene that transpired so very long ago, beneath this very tree", the white lady whispered and offered her delicate hand to Tauriel._

 _She took it with no hesitation this time, and it was soft and cool to the touch. Lothrin closed her eyes, and then the scene before them took life._

 _Tauriel watched in stunned silence as a young Thranduil and a young Lothrin came and stood beneath the tree and joined their hands. His face was bright and his pale eyes shining, free of care and shadow. Unchanged were his features, for the passing of time left not its marks on the elves' appearance, but the depths of his eyes were different. These eyes were youthful and unknowing, full of joy and desire for life, eyes yet ignorant of the horrors and the endless sorrows of the world. Tauriel remembered Thranduil as she had known him, dark and careworn and brooding, so marked and tainted by darkness and burdened by grief, and her gentle heart fluttered at his lost innocence and the torment of the long years he had suffered, which had changed him for all eternity._

 _She then heard his voice as he spoke, and a shudder coursed through her body, as it sounded familiar, deep and caring, for it was the voice he spoke to her in during their hours of love._

" _This has ever been our favorite place, meleth nin. It is under this tree that I will reveal the wish of my heart to you now… Will you marry me and become my wife, to spend together in unending love all the ages of the earth to come, beloved?" he spoke and his voice was soft and tender, his eyes deeply gazing into the maiden's._

" _Oh, Thranduil, your heart's wish is mine as well. Yes, I will marry you and stand by your side, be it in joy or sorrow, together to face in unending love all the ages of the earth to come!" Lothrin cried happily, a pearly tear running on her white cheek._

 _Then Tauriel watched as the two leaned close and their lips touched in a tender kiss, and their arms enclosed each other in a loving embrace. Tears brimmed in her emerald eyes, for the sweet sensation of love and warmth of the scene before her enveloped her as well. And she understood that this love between Thranduil and Lothrin was true and it would last forever._

 _The scene slowly faded then, and Lothrin opened her eyes and released Tauriel's hand._

" _Yes, we truly loved each other, and we will love each other until the end of days", she told her, for she could hear her thoughts and knew her deepest fears._

 _Tauriel felt a sting of bitterness in her heart, and a tear of sorrow fell from her eye. "He will never love me as he loved you", she spoke mournfully._

" _You are very wrong, young one. Few are your years and fewer yet are your experiences. I have looked into your heart and I know the bitterness you harbor towards his past love. You fear it will never allow him to love you truly. But it is not so, and soon you will see why", Lothrin patiently spoke and looked at Tauriel with compassion in her eyes. "Come now, let us walk further on"._

 _In a long corridor they now walked, and it was built on stone and rock perfectly hewn and decorated with golden and silver inlay. Such was the wealth and the splendor of those bygone days. Bright lamps hung far above their heads and lit their way, and beneath their feet lay a thick crimson carpet. A huge door of oaken wood was before them. Lothrin reached for the handle and pushed the door open._

" _It is time for me to remember and for you to see", the white lady whispered and clasped Tauriel's hand in hers once more._

 _In the grand room before them furniture and decorations took shape. A large, ornate fireplace stood in the back and it was lit. Sofas, armchairs and a low table were in front of it. Four figures were seated, and the two of them Tauriel recognized as Thranduil and Lothrin, but the two others were foreign to her eyes._

 _One of them was a tall lord, clad in long grey robes that gave a silver sheen at his every graceful move. His face was flawless and stern, his dark, high brow well-defined and strong, his nose long and straight and his lips pale and thin. Long silver hair fell to his shoulders and on his head he wore an elaborate silver circlet adorned with a gleaming white stone. But the most prominent of his features was his eyes, deep and grey, with flecks of silver in them. His gaze was steady and piercing, and it made Tauriel shiver._

 _The resemblance he bore to Thranduil was striking, for they shared the dark brow, elegant straight nose and deep, piercing gaze, and Tauriel realized this was no other but his father, the noble Oropher of Doriath._

 _The lady, who sat next to him, also reminded Tauriel of Thranduil in some ways, leading her to think that this was his mother, lady Nemiril. The outline of her breathtakingly beautiful face shared the same long and sharp lines as Thranduil's, lines that defined high cheekbones and met in a rather rounded chin, while Oropher's jawline was square. Her hair was pale blond and cascaded in soft and loose locks about her slender figure. Her eyes were soft and kind, and twinkled with the brightest blue of the summer sky. Her lips, full and rosy, were drawn up in a gentle smile, as she watched her husband speak._

" _I will hear no more of it, ion nin. Your betrothal will last for one year and no less, as it is custom", Oropher said in a clear and imperious tone._

 _Lothrin gave a worried look to Thranduil, whose brow was furrowed._

" _But, ada, Celebrandir wedded Rostoriel only six months after their betrothal and-"_

" _Neither Celebrandir nor Rostoriel are of the King's line", Oropher's voice echoed in the room as he interrupted Thranduil, robbing him of the chance to finish his sentence._

 _Thranduil looked away, feeling irritation seething beneath his skin, but his father's gaze was unyielding._

" _Thranduil, my sweet son, what your father and I wish is for you to be happy. But Sindarin tradition is important, and must be observed by the royal kindred of Thingol. You are both very young and your hearts are impatient, but do not let your innocence and ignorance cloud your judgement", Nemiril said in a kind voice that bore the same velvety quality as Thranduil's._

" _You are a nephew of Thingol's, and you will do well to rein in your rebellious and arrogant nature. I will not have you disrespect our House", Oropher's voice filled the room, and he clicked his heavy oaken staff on the floor once, signaling the issue was not subject to discussion anymore._

 _Silence fell among the four, and Lothrin took Thranduil's hand in hers, giving him a sympathetic and loving look. She, too, was eager to marry her loved one, but she knew they had to follow the custom and wait one year in betrothal._

 _The soft touch of her hand melted away the anger from Thranduil's features, and he looked at Lothrin deeply. No words needed to be exchanged between them; their eyes met and communicated far more eloquently than words could. For a while they held each other's gaze, until Thranduil turned to Oropher._

" _Forgive my audacious ways, father. I subject myself to your will", he said in a low and regretful voice._

 _Oropher nodded, obviously pleased. A small smile was on his face now as he spoke again._

" _One day, when you yourself will become a father, you will understand that a father solely and ever wishes for the welfare of his son, and he will take whatever course necessary to protect him from ill decisions or a dreadful fate", he spoke words of wisdom._

 _Thranduil regarded his father with a pensive frown upon his brow, but gave no verbal response. He was young, and could not at the time comprehend the full meaning of Oropher's words, nor could he envision himself as a father yet._

 _The scene faded away then, leaving Lothrin and Tauriel alone on the vast, snow-covered plain._

" _What do you think, Tauriel? Has Thranduil become a good father to Legolas?" the white lady asked her._

" _I have always considered him strict and distant. But then again I have only lived for a little more than six hundred years", Tauriel replied thoughtfully._

" _He was the sweetest of fathers, young one. Our happiness was indescribable when our son was born. The first few years of his life we passed in utter bliss. He cared much for little Legolas and took great pride in him", Lothrin described in a dreamy voice._

" _He changed a lot after you…" Tauriel began to say but halted, biting her lip in discomfort and regret._

" _After I died? Do not be afraid to speak, Tauriel. Often he has dreamed of me, but rarely was I able to come in his dreams over the long centuries as I am come to you now. But I sensed the bitterness and desolation, the void he felt inside after I was gone, and it was a void he yearned to fill again. For Thranduil has always been a loving creature, one who loved generously, and reveled in being loved back. Alas, the disaster that came upon him utterly shattered him, barricading his tender heart in a fortress of ice. He never believed he would love again, or he was even worthy of being loved back, after Morgoth ruined his fea. But that was until you came along, young one. You have unlocked the heavy doors to his frozen heart and allowed sunlight and warmth to creep inside it again. Never doubt that he loves you dearly, for you are changing him, and even if you are unable to understand that, trust to my saying that it is so, for I have known him for thousands of years and my heart is not mistaken", Lothrin spoke deeply and from her heart, causing tears to brim in Tauriel's eyes._

" _I have hurt him so much", she bitterly confessed._

" _And he has hurt you, undoubtedly. Do not let your imperfections prevail; trust to your love, for it is true and it will make you stronger", said the white lady tenderly. "Give thought to what you saw and what I said, Tauriel. But my time is now done, and I must depart for the House of Shadows. Sleep, and again I will visit you, if I can", she spoke softly and then her figure disappeared._

 _Tauriel was left alone in the vastness of her mind, caught in the margin between life and death, and wandering the plane of spirits. But she was not afraid anymore, for she now saw a purpose to it and she knew that, although she was wandering, she was not lost._


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Two more day passed, during which Thranduil was constantly at Tauriel's side, Legolas had his first taste of ruling a kingdom, and Elrond spent most of his time in the library of the Elvenking's halls, where he sat and read for long hours. He had found the books of Melian he had in mind, and had also brought along a few books from his own library. He hoped that the lore and wisdom hidden in their pages might prove helpful to the situation at hand.

Arwen often joined her father in the library and assisted him with his strenuous search of information, while Lossendis, unwillingly caught in this storm of events, had a mind to write to her parents and explain the reasons behind her prolonged absence to them. She had the choice to leave at any time and return to Rivendell, of course, but she preferred to remain in Mirkwood and stand by Legolas' side, who was going through a great emotional and intellectual strain, trying to maintain rule of the realm and also be there for his father. Her constant presence by his side was the sole encouragement the Prince got during those dark days, and his love and admiration for her only grew stronger.

Thranduil was eagerly expecting news from Elrond, but the lord of Imladris had disclosed little during those two days, and begged of him to be more patient until they found the answer they were looking for.

Day and night the Elvenking spent at Tauriel's side, eating little and sleeping even less. Sometimes Legolas would be there as well, or Arwen and Lossendis would visit their sleeping friend, but most hours Thranduil passed alone with the still form of his beloved.

His people were wondering what happened to their King, and why he spent all his time in the healing ward. Legolas, according to his father's wish, asked for their patience and understanding, and promised them that everything would be explained in due time. Unfortunately, this was a hollow promise, for how can you explain something you cannot yet comprehend? But the people loved their King, and knew of his long suffering. They feared he might be fading and the secret was being kept from them. Legolas had at last let the members of the council know this was not the case, and that the folk should be pacified.

But the Elvenking now cared little of what the people of the realm might think. His one and only concern was Tauriel and her condition, which had neither improved nor worsened. By dusk of the second day since Elrond's arrival, he had her moved to her chambers, considering the healing ward too cold and crowded a place for her to remain in.

Now in the quiet of her rooms she rested, and by her side in the bed he lay. He caressed the cold skin of her face, and thoughts of the moments of love they shared came unbidden to his mind. His heart bled and cried out for her.

 _Oh, where may you be wandering, beloved? Return to me… Hear the plea of my heart, feel the touch of my fea as it reaches out for yours. Where have you hidden, my love? Why can I not find you? Is your spirit no more in this world?_

 _Dormant you lie, and yet you are not merely sleeping. Alive you are, and yet you will not move or open your eyes. It is my fault that you are now gone… Will you ever forgive me, meleth nin? I am undeserving of your love, ever have I been undeserving… But you managed to love me, the deformed and blackened monster that I am._

 _And I repaid your love with doubt and cruelty._

 _Am I cursed, to destroy and lose anyone I love and loves me?_

Bitter tears stained Thranduil's cheeks and the pillow beneath. He allowed himself then to weep in the silent darkness of the room, until he had no more tears to shed. Taking her hand in his, he placed a tender kiss on her knuckles, and then held her hand close to his heart. Still he lay as he watched her breathing calmly, evenly, unaware as she was of his presence beside her and his heart that was beating for her only.

But was she truly unaware of his love and distress? For in the transcendent world of dreams she now walked, where anything might be possible. Dreams came to her again, and this is what she dreamt of this time:

 _Again she was walking in the vast and snowy plain, bereft and all alone. But a voice spoke to her in the wind and called for her attention._

" _Tauriel…"_

 _It was the now familiar voice of Lothrin, and Tauriel turned to its direction. The white lady appeared in the distance. She looked exactly as she did last time, clad in a white dress and with her long white hair flowing freely about her and dancing with the wind._

" _He grieves for you. He laments your fate. The love he holds for you is breaking his heart… Do you hear him?" she asked Tauriel._

 _Tauriel's expression turned to one of surprise. "Where is he, my lady? I cannot see or hear him, though I much wish to!" she cried._

" _Nay, you cannot. He walks in the world of the living while your fea wanders far beyond. But touch my hand and you can get a glimpse of him, young one", she told her and extended her hand._

 _Tauriel took Lothrin's hand, and then she saw for a few moments her and Thranduil's bodies from above, as they lay in bed. She saw her pale face, and the tears upon his. She felt his agony and despair, his love and remorse. But the window of clarity was brief and the image was soon lost to her._

" _Oh, Thranduil… my love…" she whispered and felt a stab of pain in her heart. "Let me wake, and I will never leave him again!" she begged._

" _It is not mine to decide when or whether you will wake", Lothrin explained in sorrow. "And do not make promises you may not keep", she added. "But come, Mandos in his wisdom has given me another chance to visit you and we must not waste time"._

" _I will follow you, my lady, wherever you lead me. But let me ask you, why are you helping me?" Tauriel asked rather sheepishly._

" _Because I wish to see Thranduil happy again. I would not have him mourn my loss till the end of days, until grief consumes him and he fades… You are the choice of his heart, Tauriel. But you are young and ignorant of so many things that have shaped him into who he is today. You are willing to learn to love him, but your stubbornness often hinders you. I will simply help you overcome some obstacles, and if the Valar allow you to wake, then you will know what to do", Lothrin replied in her velvety voice._

" _And what of him? Will he know how to love me?" Tauriel boldly asked._

 _The white lady sighed. "I tried to reach him in his dreams a few times, but his memory and grief are strong and intervene, they distort the images and make my work more difficult. And Mandos will not allow it for him to enter a state like yours, beyond time and conscience, lest the darkness of his fea take over him completely. There is also the fear he might not wake from such a slumber, for he is weary and might wish to fade", she responded solemnly._

 _Then Lothrin looked into Tauriel's eyes with hope and spoke again. "But you, Tauriel, you are young and strong, your light is bright and your fea is pure and not tainted by dark qualities. The way to help both of you is through you alone"._

 _Tauriel gasped in doubt and uncertainty. "Will I be strong enough?"_

" _You are stronger than you may yet realize", the white lady told her tenderly. But then her countenance became more serious and imperative. "No longer must we tarry now, for my time is limited. Are you ready, to see what I will show you? Brace yourself, for it is not happy scenes you will witness this time", she warned her._

" _I am ready, my lady", Tauriel replied and took hold of Lothrin's hand._

 _Through the white lady's closed eyes, she saw a terrible scene forming before her. A large, white hall appeared, and it was naught but the Great Hall of Menegroth, with its high pillars carved of the living rock and its many stairs. She saw Lothrin's form hidden in a shadowed corner against the wall, behind one of those pillars, and she was watching the scene in terror and despair._

 _Through her eyes Tauriel saw countless Noldorin elves storming the hall, slaying all Sindarin elves that stood in their way. She realized then she was witnessing the Second Kinslaying of elf by elf and the Sack of Doriath. The leaders of the attackers were the sons of Feanor, in whom the Oath had stirred when they learned of the Silmaril's return to Doriath, and they looked terrible and grim in their gleaming golden armor. Swords clashed and spears were shaken, and the white floor soon became red with the blood of the slain. Not only warriors but also maidens and children fell victims to the wrath of Celegorm and his brothers. The air was filled with shouts and cries, shrieks of terror and pain, and with laments and wails of woe. Now elf lay upon elf on the marble floor, Sindar and Noldor alike, embraced and equal in death, lifeless and slain._

 _The great King Dior Eluchil then marched into the hall, dressed in his majestic silver armor and dark blue velvet cloak. He saw his sweet wife Queen Nimloth lying in a pool of blood, still and pale, among his slain people. Indescribable grief and rage then took over him, and he raised his sword Aranruth, which he had inherited from his grandfather Thingol, and attacked Celegorm, who stood above Nimloth's corpse. But Celegorm was a keen swordsman, and he battled Dior for hours. Blow after blow they gave and received, until their wounds were too deep and grievous, and they both fell to the ground, slain by each other's hand._

 _So fell the King of Doriath and Feanor's son Celegorm, but the assault was far from over, for his brothers were relentless still. Dior's guards and warriors fought the sons of Feanor and their followers, for the wrath of the Noldor had not waned after so much death, and still they sought to kill everyone until they recovered the silmaril. But the resistance of the Sindar was brave and strong, and they managed to push the attackers out of the Great Hall and into the gardens._

 _Tauriel saw Lothrin slowly rise from her hiding place and looking carefully around. As soon as she had a chance, she ran frantically to the rooms of her family, calling for her parents, and also lady Nemiril and Thranduil. To her dismay, she could find none. In every room and every corridor of Menegroth countless elves lay dead, and many of them she had known as friends. The stench of death was in the air everywhere. Lothrin felt she was suffocating, and, unable to find her kindred, she picked up a sword from a fallen warrior and made for the gardens._

 _As soon as she stepped foot outside, the scene her eyes saw was even worse than that of the halls. Devastation was everywhere, as innocent people lay slain on the marble paths and in the flowerbeds, painting the white niphredil with the crimson of their blood. To her utter horror and pain, she saw her parents' bodies lying in a corner._

" _No! Ada! Nana!" she cried and ran to them, but it was too late. They were both slain and life had fled their bodies._

 _Upon them she bent and wept for long, until she heard an uproar behind her, and turned just in time to see a Noldorin Prince ready to attack her, who was none other than Caranthir the dark. She lifted her sword in defense, but he was stronger and far more experienced than her, and she had great difficulty holding her own. He laughed and toyed with her, while her tears blurred her vision, and Lothrin was certain at that moment that her death was near._

 _But then in the commotion she heard her name being shouted over and over again, and the voice belonged to none other but Thranduil._

" _Thranduil! Help me!" she cried in despair, and retreated a few steps, trying to steel her resolve and steady her shaking limbs, just to buy some time until her beloved reached her._

 _One after another felled Thranduil's twin swords, for like a maelstrom of death he frantically whirled and slew the Noldor who stood in his way, rushing to Lothrin's aid._

" _Coward! Fight me!" he bellowed in unbridled fury, and this was an element that Tauriel now recognized very well, for her King was terrible in his hour of wrath, and woe to anyone who stood in his way._

 _His eyes were of fire and ice as he attacked the Noldo, who abandoned Lothrin and turned to face Thranduil._

" _Make ready to join your kindred in death, for I am Caranthir, son of Feanor, and I will see the Oath fulfilled!" he shouted and thrust his blade against Thranduil's._

 _They engaged in a terrible, bloody dance that went on for some time, and it was not easy to tell who might turn out victorious, for both were skilled and had managed wounds and gashes to each other. But in the end Thranduil proved the better swordsman and slew his opponent, who fell on the ground and choked on his own blood._

" _Cursed be the Noldor and their madness!" he cried as he withdrew his blade from Caranthir's chest._

" _Thranduil…!" Lothrin then cried in relief that her beloved was victorious._

" _Lothrin! Tell me that you are unharmed!" he called at her in worry and walked to her. Lothrin ran to Thranduil and the two shared a tight embrace._

" _I am well, my love, but you are wounded…" she responded belatedly and brought her white fingers to lightly trace the bleeding line on his cheek._

" _It is nothing serious… Worry not, beloved", he reassured her in a calm voice._

 _In the next moment Tauriel saw Thranduil bending his head and dropping a feathery kiss on Lothrin's lips. But then tears fell from the elleth's eyes, and he cradled her dearly against his breast._

" _My parents lie slain, Thranduil…" she whispered mournfully._

" _Cursed be the Noldor who brought death and ruin upon our kin!" Thranduil cried out, as he saw lord Miluidan and lady Anglamel lying slain in a short distance._

 _The pair walked to them, and Lothrin knelt and wept for her lost parents, while Thranduil stood by her side and watched her in gloom and heartbreak._

 _However, their moment of respite was short-lived, as Oropher's pained cry was heard from the other side of the garden._

" _Thranduil!"_

 _At once his son turned to the direction of his voice. There lord Oropher stood, tall and bloodied beneath the great red-flowered tree, and bore the body of the slain lady Nemiril in his arms. Before his feet the son of Feanor named Curufin lay dead._

" _Mother! No…" cried Thranduil and ran to his father's side._

 _Lothrin followed right behind, and now Tauriel could see Thranduil screaming in pain for his mother's death, and felt her heart being torn from her breast at his plight. For all too well she, too, knew the pain of losing one's parents, and she could now understand truly why Thranduil took her in and sheltered her with no second thought when she was an orphaned elfling._

 _While Thranduil was entirely given to despair, Oropher's face was drawn and pale, a stern mask that betrayed no emotion. His brow twitched and his eyes glistened with unshed tears, but he spoke no word. He cradled Nemiril's dead body in his arms and placed a kiss upon her brow. Only then a single tear ran from his eye and fell on the cold skin of the dead lady's forehead._

 _Lothrin herself was also crying, and she slowly walked back to where her parents lay, and collapsed beside their dead bodies. Long she wept, and the commotion of the battle in the distance gradually died down. Night had fallen when Thranduil walked to her and dropped next to her, taking her in his arms, and they wept on each other's shoulder for their slain parents._

 _The scene of death and mourning then faded, and Lothrin opened her eyes and let go of Tauriel's hand. Deep sorrow and grief were in her eyes._

" _The pain we shared that day, and for many days to come, was unbearable. We postponed our betrothal, and it would not happen until many years later, when our grieving souls had somewhat healed", Lothrin narrated._

" _It is terrible to lose your parents. I know the feeling very well", Tauriel said in a small and sorrowful voice._

" _Yes, you do, young one. And you thought right, that Thranduil immediately sympathized with you when your mother was slain and took you with him to live in his halls", the white lady said and gave Tauriel a compassionate look._

" _I understand it now. But nameless terrors you have lived through, terrors I have only known through book and lore. Now, however, as they come to life before my very eyes, my heart is shattered and I feel the pain keenly", Tauriel commented with an aggrieved look upon her face._

" _The Kinslayings were the worst, most unfathomable and despicable deeds ever done by elves against elves. That day marked both mine and Thranduil's life. We were never the same after burying his mother and my parents. Determined to never stand again helpless under an enemy's blade, from that day on I trained with a sword until I obtained mastery at it. Thranduil became more introverted and aware of the dangers of the world. The ignorance and innocence of youth left his eyes, and their place took maturity and caution. But his father, lord Oropher, never expressed his feelings, not even to his own son. He kept himself composed and formal whenever I met him, and his grief could only be seen in the depths of his eyes", Lothrin spoke and looked at Tauriel in a meaningful manner._

" _I no longer wonder where Thranduil has inherited his ability to keep his cool and mask his feelings from… He grew to become very much like his father", she observed._

" _Indeed he did. For Oropher was the only remaining parent, and Thranduil looked up to him. Although, I believe deep inside his heart he feared his father, because, just like himself, he had a hot temper and was quick to anger", the white lady said and sighed, before speaking again._

" _The day Doriath was sacked was the worst day in my life, Tauriel. But not the worst in Thranduil's. You may know what I speak of", she told Tauriel in a sorrowful voice._

" _You mean the day you died…" the red-haired elleth whispered._

" _Yes. It was the day that utterly ruined him, in hroa and fea alike. It was the day that shaped him into the person you have come to know and later love. My heart bleeds to see my beautiful husband so deformed and darkened now, and I admire your ability to love him, even though he often seems to be so unlikable and hostile. He feels undeserving of love, Tauriel, never forget that; but it is now that he is in the greatest need of being loved", Lothrin said in a low, emotional voice._

" _I have understood his need and his yearning, but I will not hide from you that at times I feel scared of him", Tauriel confessed._

" _Yes, he is irascible and demanding of manner. Do you have patience to spare, Tauriel? Think well before you answer, for patience you will need a lot of, if you give Thranduil your consent to become his wife", Lothrin forewarned. "But speak not now, and take my hand again. My time is ending, and I wish to show you the scene of my death. Will you bear to witness it, young one?"_

" _I will not turn back now. I will see all you wish to show me, if I am to understand Thranduil more deeply", Tauriel replied, steady in her resolve._

 _The white lady nodded, and the two joined hands again._

 _The scene that appeared was one of open battle. The elven army was fighting against the orcs, while the tall shadow of mount Gundabad and its ominous black fortress loomed in the distance. The bodies of the slain littered the ground, the clamor of swords and the yells of the combatants were the only sounds that filled the air._

 _In the front fought Thranduil, and close to him fought Lothrin, the King and Queen of the Woodland Realm. The Elvenking was clad in silver armor and a grey-silver cloak, and his radiance and might brought fear and terror to the orcs that sought to flee from the unforgiving bite of his swords. The Elvenqueen's armor was deep blue in color, but the breastplate shone majestically with the embedded white gems of Lasgalen. With her white hair and shimmering white cape, she was like snow on a starry night._

 _Tauriel watched them in awe as they stroke down their enemies, fighting as one, protecting and covering for each other. The royal warrior-couple, far renowned across Middle Earth, was relentless and all enemies fell under their silver swords._

 _In close distance fought Elrond, as well as Celeborn, who led their own armies of elves in this march against the orcs of Gundabad and their allies._

 _The battle seemed to fare well for the elves, and their enemies were retreating, until the terrible Serpents of the North were released from the dark keep. Three fire-dragons they were, enormous and vile, and they broke free of their chains and lunged onto the battlefield._

" _The Serpents of Morgoth are upon us! Archers on the ready!" Tauriel heard Thranduil cry to his soldiers, and they obeyed his command._

 _Similar tactics were observed by the other two Commanders, and soon volleys of arrows imbued with light magic were released against the dragons. The beasts shrieked in terrible, high-pitched voices that made the earth and mountains tremble, and then they opened their jaws and released their searing breaths. Everything melted under the terrible dragonfire._

 _Panic and devastation arose among the elves, who saw their numbers being dramatically reduced. The orcs attacked again with renewed strength and boosted morale. Elrond rushed to rally the elves again, and after repeated volleys of arrows one of the beasts was severely wounded and weakened. Elrond repelled it with the help of his ring, Vilya, and drove his sword into its heart. So the first dragon was felled._

 _The remaining two, however, still wreaked havoc and destruction on the elven army, flying above it and descending on it, breaking the lines and killing dozens of soldiers. One dragon moved further to attack the western flank of the army and it was soon lost from Lothrin's eyes. But the other, a terrible reddish-black beast, crawled to their side and destroyed everything and everyone in its passage._

 _Thranduil then ordered the archers to shoot at it, and the arrows slowed its pace and pierced its wings, but still nearer it came._

" _Thranduil! The dragon is approaching! We must do something!" Lothrin cried._

" _It is only the arrows that can harm and weaken it. Fall back!" he yelled and then ordered another volley._

 _At that moment Tauriel saw Celeborn and his elves rushing to the aid of Mirkwood's army, and his archers joined in with Thranduil's. But the beast was angered and it took to the air, flying above them and burning countless elves with its terrible breath. The soldiers, terrified, fell back and their ranks were broken. Right then the other dragon appeared in the sky, pursued by Elrond and his archers. In the middle of the battlefield it landed, cutting the elven army in two and keeping Elrond's forces away from their allies._

 _Now cut-off and with their numbers devastated, Thranduil and his army were in a dire position. Horrified cries mingled with the clash of metal on metal, and the stench of burned flesh was in the air. The dragon then descended and landed in front of the royal couple of Mirkwood._

" _We must fall back, Lothrin!" Thranduil cried._

 _She turned to him and they ran from the dragon's searing breath, theirs being a narrow escape. In the distance was Celeborn, ordering his archers to shoot at the dragon, trying to give time to Thranduil and Lothrin to retreat. But the dragon came closer and closer, and it seemed like there was no escape for the elves._

 _Lothrin then saw a cloaked figure walk forward from the lines of Celeborn's army. Her face was shadowed, but forth she walked towards the dragon._

 _Then the beast rose on its hinder legs and prepared to release its fire, the underside of his belly turning red and yellow like hot coals._

 _Thranduil saw this and turned to his Queen who stood a few meters from him. "Lothrin! Stand back!" he cried frantically._

 _But the Queen did not heed the King's command, and remained steady in her position. She turned her eyes from the cloaked figure to her husband and then to the dragon, raising her sword in defiance. The beast opened its terrible jaws and breathed fire, and in the briefest of moments Lothrin gave one last loving glance to her husband and smiled. In the next, she was consumed by dragonfire and reduced to nothing._

 _That was the last thing she saw as a living being._

 _The scene before Tauriel's eyes quickly dissolved, but her heart was drumming in her chest and tears had risen to her eyes._

" _Oh, Lothrin!" she cried and sobbed, unable to speak more words._

" _Hush now, young one", she whispered in a comforting voice and took Tauriel in her arms. "These are but events of the past, and much they have been grieved upon. Shed no more tears now…" the white lady tried to soothe her._

" _It is different hearing about them and actually seeing them… Thranduil had narrated to me the events of your demise. He said that cloaked figure you had seen coming was Galadriel, and she revealed herself and repelled the dragon with the power of her ring. Her intervention had saved Thranduil's life, but not yours", Tauriel spoke in a broken voice._

" _It was my choice to give up my life for his. There was no time for us both to escape. And, when you love someone, Tauriel, their life matters to you far more than your own. I do not regret my decision", she spoke softly but her tone was steady._

" _But, my lady, you deserved a far better fate than death in dragonfire!" the young elleth cried._

" _No one knows what the future holds for them, but we have to make our choices along the way. Many are the griefs of this world, and this had been my lot to live", she lamented. "Thranduil's face is the last memory I have of the living world, and I cherish it in the shadowed realm I now dwell. But my fea is brutally mutilated, and Mandos keeps me in his halls, as I am unfit to be housed in a corporeal form again, lest I become a servant of evil", she narrated in a sorrowful tone._

" _Thranduil has spoken to me of this… How utterly lost you are to him. It tears my heart apart to witness your suffering and your eternal sundering!" Tauriel said in a pained voice._

" _But long he has mourned our eternal sundering, and I would see him healed and happy. I did not give up my life, Tauriel, for him to spend the rest of his in grief and despair. My sacrifice was not meant to be in vain", said Lothrin and her blue eyes shimmered._

" _It is not in vain, my lady. I will give Thranduil all of my love, and receive his in return. And I will never again begrudge him his love for you. For in my own ignorance and doubt I became petty, and I doubted his feelings for me", Tauriel said in a broken voice and with teary eyes._

" _In wisdom you speak, young one. There is love in his heart for us both, for each of us plays a different role in his life, and one love does not negate the other. If you make peace with this, you will be able to be truly happy", said the white lady warmly and smiled._

" _I will. No more will I turn to dark or mean thoughts. I will allow my heart to accept the truth you have shown me, my lady", Tauriel said and reverently bowed her head to Lothrin._

 _The white lady then took a step back and looked deeply into Tauriel's eyes. "My work is done now, for I have shown you all I wished to show you, and I am glad to see that my toil has not been in vain. I thank Mandos and Irmo, who have given me leave to visit you. Your fate is in their hands now, and it is theirs to decide of your awakening. I bid you farewell, Tauriel, and I implore you to forget not what you have seen", Lothrin said and softly caressed Tauriel's hair._

" _I thank you for everything from the depths of my heart, my lady. Farewell, and know that you are loved and remembered", Tauriel responded and let a tear mark its path down her cheek._

 _The white lady then smiled, and starlight was in her eyes. She turned away then and walked away on the snow-covered ground. Her silhouette slowly faded away, and she was gone from Tauriel's dreams, never to return._


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

The door opened with a low creak.

"At long last, mellon, I believe I have the answer to our questions…"

Elrond emerged from behind the door with a grin on his face and holding a few books in his hands.

Thranduil turned to him with a surprised and hopeful look on his tired features.

"This is good news, Elrond Half-elven. What have you learned?" he asked with impatience.

The lord of Imladris took a few steps and placed the heavy books on a table. His face resumed a pensive and serious expression as he started talking.

"As it was my initial assumption, Tauriel's state of non-waking sleep is a contrivance of the Valar. The Valar Mandos and Irmo, to be exact", he said and ran his fingers smoothly over the cover of one ancient book. "Melian in her wisdom left us information considering the world of dreams and visions, so that we may understand and respect the workings, decisions and purposes of the Valar. Do not forget that she serves Este, who is Irmo's spouse. Undoubtedly, it was by the leave of the Master of Dreams that she conveyed this information to us", Elrond explained.

"Her books had ever been kept in Menegroth's library, until the fall of Doriath. My father was wise to save her writings, among numerous other precious books of lore, and brought them to Greenwood, when we took residence here", Thranduil commented.

"Well, if we are at last able to help Tauriel, you will owe thanks to your lord father, mellon", Elrond said and the corners of his lips drew up in a small smile.

"Indeed. But come, tell me of the information itself", the Elvenking urged him.

Elrond nodded. "Melian describes in her texts that the Valar may sometimes choose to bring this kind of sleep to a Child of Iluvatar, when they wish to convey important messages to him or her. So, it is likely that Tauriel is actually being the recipient of such a message as we speak", he said and glanced at the still form of the red-haired elleth.

"A message? What kind of a message can it be?" Thranduil wondered and walked close to Tauriel's bed, taking her hand in his.

"That is not ours to know", Elrond replied thoughtfully. "It is the _Feanturi_ alone that have the power to induce such a state of non-responsiveness, but any of the Valar may contact the sleeping person during it. And the sleep cannot be interrupted, neither should someone attempt to do so, as it will agitate the sleeping person and may disrupt the conveyed messages".

Thranduil nodded. "We have not tried to wake her. Alfirimbes had indeed said it might be dangerous to do so".

"And she was absolutely right about it", Elrond commented.

"What about the waking, Elrond? How does this state end?" the Elvenking wondered, his countenance betraying worry.

Elrond's brow furrowed and his gaze darkened. "I am afraid there is no way to know when the work of the Valar is done. In various other books I found reports and descriptions of similar occurrences, and those sleeps are said to have lasted from a few days to several weeks…" he said and his voice trailed off in the end.

"So all we have to do is wait?" Thranduil asked rather incredulously.

Elrond sighed. "Wait we must, that is for certain. But it is not that simple. The _fea_ of the person, who lies in such a comatose state, rises above the living world, the world of consciousness. It wanders in the twilight plain between life and death itself, and it is in this grey zone that communication with the spiritual world is possible. However, once the work of the Valar is done, the _fea_ may be lost in this misty and transcendent world, and it may be rendered unable to return to the _hroa_. Long it may wander, until its light is spent and it slips into the spiritual world beyond, sundered from the _hroa_. One such case of an ellon is mentioned, who slept but never woke. In the end his _fea_ departed from his body and he died", the lord of Imladris concluded in dark tones.

Thranduil now looked very alarmed. "Is there nothing that can be done to prevent such a dire outcome?" he asked anxiously.

"This is uncertain. Those who recovered quickly are reported to have been rather young and had a strong desire to return to life and their loved ones. Contrary to that, older Children found it often more difficult to find their way back to the waking world, since their desire for life had waned", Elrond replied.

"Tauriel is young and has a strong desire to live. She will not be lost to the world of shadows!" cried Thranduil, forcing some confidence into his voice.

"That is my hope as well. People who had a similar experience are said to have looked for something, or rather someone, to anchor themselves on and find their way back. It is only the thought of loved ones and their presence by their side that seems to help their lost _fear_ to return to their bodies. But nothing is certain", the lord of Imladris spoke and stood pensive, turning his grey eyes to the window. The sky looked nearly white, as snow had started to fall.

"I am by her side, Elrond. Not an hour has passed during these seven days that I am not beside her, holding her hand and talking to her", the Elvenking whispered in a voice constricted with emotion.

"We can only trust to the power of your love", responded the lord of Imladris quietly and gave his friend a small smile.

Thranduil looked at him for a few moments and nodded. "Thank you, mellon nin".

"Thank me not, Elvenking. We may have attained a measure of understanding as to what is happening to Tauriel, but I truly can do nothing to help her. It is only you, who can do that", he said and then turned his gaze to the window once more, hands clasped behind his back.

Thranduil pondered Elrond's words for a while, and then returned to his seat beside Tauriel's sleeping form. He concentrated and turned his thought to her. _I will do whatever it takes to help you come back to this world, beloved. I will not let you be led astray in your dreamland. Can you hear my voice? Can you feel my fea reaching out for yours? Let my love be your guide, meleth nin. Come back to me…_

* * *

 _Tauriel was once again wandering the snow-covered plains within her mind, but this time there was not the familiar voice of Lothrin to be heard and guide her. Lost she was now feeling, and the strong desire to wake and return to the world of the living was kindled in her heart._

 _On and on she walked, wishing for a sign that may help her find her way. She knew not for how long she wandered, helpless and desolate. Had it been hours or days, weeks or even years? Time was non-existent. There was neither day nor night to succeed each other, but only a constant cloudless, grey sky that neither moved nor changed._

 _But then a faint light appeared in the distance. Very dim it was and flickering like the flame of a candle under the wind's breath. Hope was born in her heart, and she quickened her pace on the snow, trying to reach that light._

 _The closer she got, the warmer a feeling stirred in her, and it enveloped her and filled her heart with courage. But still far was the light, and great was her toil to reach it._

 _A whispering voice then spoke to her, but it sounded very distant and what it said was unintelligible._

" _Who are you? I hear you speak to me, but I understand you not!" she called to the wind._

 _The voice spoke again on the breeze that passed by her ears and ruffled her hair, and it carried her name. "Tauriel… Tauriel…"_

" _Oh, I am here! Help me out of my dreams!" she cried, and still walked to the light._

 _Brighter it now seemed, and she felt drawn to it. She outstretched her arms towards it, and felt her cold, numb fingers tingle under the warmth that now reached them._

 _A tear of relief fell from her eye and a smile of joy graced her face, as hopefulness overwhelmed her._

" _Is this the way out?" she asked to the wind._

" _Come to me…" the voice spoke again, and it was louder this time._

 _Tauriel's heart fluttered. "Who is it that calls to me in such a dear manner?"_

" _Beloved… come to me…" the voice called to her again._

" _Beloved? Oh, can it be, can it be?" she wondered, and ran to the source of the light with all her might._

" _You are not lost… I am your way back…" the voice whispered to her._

 _With courage and hope burning fondly in her heart, Tauriel rushed closer and closer to the light. Now it had become huge and bright, its radiance expanding to the grey sky and showering her with warmth._

" _I am coming…!" she cried._

* * *

In the mundane world, none of these otherworldly happenings were visible, of course. Tauriel's body still remained unmoving in her bed, and Thranduil was always by her side, counting the days and the nights that went by idly. All his mental energy was focused on his beloved, and his _fea_ was desperately reaching out for hers.

But said _fea_ was also carrying traces of darkness within, and his fear of harming her unwittingly was great. He strove to gather his light, or as much of it remained untouched by the malice of Morgoth, and direct it to Tauriel through the power of his thought and will. But the effort was great and strenuous, and it exhausted Thranduil's old and weary spirit. However, he cared not for the cost he may need to pay; he was determined not to withdraw from his struggle until Tauriel had returned to the waking world.

But Elrond and Legolas worried about him, and advised him to take small breaks, lest the effort consume his energy completely.

In the chambers of the lord of Imladris they now were, sharing their thoughts and fears, during an evening out of many.

"Lord Elrond, I fear my father is taking too great a strain", Legolas said and leaned against the wall next to the lit fireplace, folding his arms across his chest, brow furrowed in thought and worry.

"I share this fear as well, Legolas. But he will not take my advice and rest", the half-elven lord responded.

"I wish for Tauriel to wake, we all do, but I do not want to lose my father in the process. He spends all his energy on her. He barely eats or sleeps. I fear he may fade, my lord", Legolas whispered and his voice broke in the end.

Elrond stood from his seat and walked close to the Prince. "Fading is not out of the question, unfortunately, if he keeps on in the same manner. But do not despair, Legolas. You, and you alone, can prevent that", he said and looked at the younger ellon intensely, the reflection of the flames dancing in his grey eyes.

"Me? How?" Legolas asked in astonishment and his eyes widened.

The lord of Imladris smiled faintly and his brow relaxed upon witnessing the Prince's surprise. "Do not alarm yourself needlessly. There is no hidden mystery to be revealed. I simply mean that you are his son, and Thranduil needs to be reminded that you are there, and that you would not have him fade", he explained in a calm tone.

Legolas contemplated his words for a while, but then sighed and looked away in sadness. "I have tried to approach him, but he does not pay attention to me", he murmured.

"Then you must try harder", Elrond said and gently squeezed the Prince's shoulder.

Legolas returned his eyes to the wise ellon before him and regarded him for a while. In the end, he gave him a nod of assurance. "I shall. Thank you my lord", he spoke.

The lord of Imladris nodded in return. "I wish you luck, Legolas".

He gave Elrond a small smile and then walked out of the room.

* * *

A while later, Legolas stepped inside Tauriel's quarters, carrying a tray of food in his hands. The sound of neither his steps nor of the closing door attracted Thranduil's attention, who was lying beside Tauriel in her bed and had his eyes closed. His forehead was creased and his brow was furrowed, betraying his great mental tension and intense focus. He was holding her hand against the place of his heart.

Legolas looked at his father's unmoving form and frowned. "Ada", he called to him, but response he received none. "Ada!" he repeated in a louder and imperative tone, and at last Thranduil's concentration broke. He opened his eyes and wearily turned them to his son.

The Prince gave him a thorough look, and to his horror he realized that the King looked almost like a ghost, for his face was very pale and drawn and his gaze deep and dim.

"What do you want, ion nin?" he asked, but his voice carried not annoyance; it was nigh a weak whisper.

"I brought you something to eat", Legolas replied and walked to the bed, whereupon he placed the tray.

Thranduil glanced at the food and wine in apathy. "I wish not to eat. I am not hungry".

"But you must. You are exhausting yourself, father", the younger ellon insisted.

"Remove the food, Legolas. I have to return to helping Tauriel. Please do not interrupt me again", the Elvenking said in a low, even voice and made to lie back on the mattress.

But Legolas grabbed his arm. "No, ada. You have to take care of yourself first, if you are to be able to help her. You are weakened and spent, do you not see?" he said with profound worry in his countenance, as he sat next to his father.

Thranduil blinked a couple of times, as if he was trying to clear his vision. He then sighed, and spoke. "It is difficult for me to find her in the world of spirits and dreams she now wanders. I cannot let go for long, lest she be lost", he said in a mournful tone.

"And what of you, ada? Do you wish to be lost as well?" Legolas asked in sadness.

Thranduil's expression turned into one of question.

"If you go on like this, spending all of your energy and not resting at all, you will fade", the Prince explained and his voice broke, while tears rose in his eyes. "I will not have you fade, father. I have not found you only to lose you".

"Ion nin…" Thranduil whispered with a hint of regret in his tone.

"Do you think not of me? Do you care not if you leave me?" Legolas asked in a small voice.

Tears now brimmed in Thranduil's eyes, and there was trembling in their depths as he looked at his only son, who was so worried about him, and once more disappointed by him.

He brought a quivering hand to cup his son's cheek. A tear escaped Legolas' eye as he felt the touch.

"Of course I care, ion nin. But ever I seem to disappoint you", Thranduil lamented. "Please, try to forgive me, and understand that if she does not come back, I will not be able to go on living", he whispered brokenly.

"But if you go on like this you will die anyway! And Tauriel will wake up to your death!" Legolas cried, finally letting go of his restraint. "Would you wish that, father? For her to return and you to fade? Do you think she will be glad after this? Do you want her to live with the pain of your loss? A pain you all too well know…"

Thranduil stood shocked and trembling after hearing Legolas words, which reflected nothing but the harsh truth. He was already feeling his strength deserting him, and his light was dim and flickering. His son was right; if he continued like this, Tauriel's life – if ever he managed to show her the way back – would signify his own demise. And naught but a life of grief and remorse would await her then, and the memory of him would plague her forever, much like his own torment after Lothrin's death. Did he really wish such a fate for Tauriel?

Seeing his father's reaction of stunned silence and reading the unspoken fear in the depths of his eyes, Legolas' demeanor softened. "Ada, you have never been irrational. On the contrary, your decisions have always been based on reason and not on the whims of the heart. Need you truly me to remind you of who you are?" he told him fervently and gently shook him by the shoulder.

"Perhaps I do need you, my son, for I have been blind, and in my blindness I have lost my path and purpose", Thranduil confessed, and a single tear ran down his cheek.

"Heed my words then. Have some food and some rest. Why have you taken it exclusively upon yourself to help Tauriel? Have you forgotten that I can also help? I may not be bonded to her in ways that only you are, but we have been close friends for a long time, and I am fairly certain that she will respond to my call, should you let me try, father", Legolas offered.

The Elvenking turned his gaze to Tauriel's sleeping form, contemplating his son's words. In the end he looked at him again and slowly nodded his consent.

The Prince smiled in response, and pushed the tray towards his father, motioning for him to indulge in the food. Thranduil lifted a shaky hand and reached for a piece of berry-pie. The memory of her baking a similar pie in the kitchens of his halls so long ago awoke then inside him, and the profound wish to share again such a pie with Tauriel was kindled in his heart.

He relished the sweet flavor of the baked berries and the crispy crust with closed eyes, having almost forgotten how delicious food tasted. A sip of his favorite wine followed next, and he slowly began to feel the tremor leaving his limbs and the fog in his head dissipating. He now realized that he had fallen victim to his own stubbornness for not taking Elrond's advice earlier to eat and rest. Thankfully, Legolas had talked some sense into him before it was too late.

While Thranduil consumed the food in front of him, Legolas quietly moved to the other side and sat on a chair next to Tauriel. Looking at her still pale and expressionless face brought sorrow to his heart. He was now determined to help his friend and his father as well. He was young, his light was strong and untainted, and he shared a tender friendship with the red-haired elleth. He was confident she would hear his call.

* * *

" _Where are you? I can still see you lighting my way, but why is your light now flickering?" Tauriel cried to the air._

 _The wind blew past her, but no voice was carried on it this time. Desolation crept in her heart._

" _Have you forsaken me?" she whispered and tears streamed down her face._

 _With a heavier heart she now wandered vaguely towards the direction of the light. She was feeling tired and drowsy._

" _Perhaps I should rest… Perhaps I should sleep. Just for a little while. The snow is soft and welcoming", she spoke to herself as she lowered her weight on the ground._

 _A feeling of chill and numbness started to spread through her, urging her to lie down and surrender herself to slumber and equanimity. The cool embrace of the snow promised her serenity, tranquility, and freedom of the burdens of the thought. The temptation was great, and Tauriel found herself wishing to give in to it._

" _Tauriel!"_

 _A voice called to her in the distance, and she was startled into awareness, her eyes fluttering open._

" _Who calls this time?"_

" _Do not abandon yourself to quiescence and inertia! It is a trick of your mind, and, if you heed it, you will remain in this place forever. You have to keep walking towards the light!" the voice called again._

 _It was a different voice, very unlike the one she had heard the previous time. This one sounded more youthful, vibrant and urgent, uplifting and vivid. It carried not the gentleness and tenderness of the previous voice, but it carried not its weariness either._

 _She lifted herself from the snowy ground and looked again towards the light. It was almost blinding now, like a flame burning pure and strong and unquenchable. Her heart rejoiced at the sight of it, and she began walking towards it._

" _Please, do not go away this time!" she cried._

 _On and on she ran, but the plain was vast, and looked endless to her. Hopelessness gripped her heart once more._

" _Why can I not reach you?" she whispered and a tear ran from her eye._

" _You must try harder! Do not abandon hope!" urged her the voice._

 _Taking courage from the spoken words, Tauriel pressed on in her snowy path towards the light. On she kept going for time immeasurable, when suddenly the first, tender and loving voice spoke again in her mind._

" _Come, Tauriel… Come, beloved"._

" _Oh! I hear you again! You have not forsaken me…" she cried in relief._

" _Never… I will never leave you…" the first voice responded as a whisper on the wind._

 _The words caressed her ears and resonated in her heart, encouraging her to walk on._

" _You are so close now! We are both here to help you find your way back", spoke the second voice in a lilting tone._

" _Come to me, my love… See the light and come back to me…" called to her the other voice._

 _Tauriel ran with renewed strength in her limbs, strength that she borrowed from the speaking voices. Her desire to return to life and to her loved ones was great, and nothing would keep her from seeing them again._

 _At once then the light expanded and covered the sky, bleaching away the greyness and cleansing it of the gloom. Warmth enveloped her and everything became a dazzling white._

* * *

"I feel… I feel her hands getting warmer", Thranduil whispered to Legolas in surprise and excitement, and the fatigue was chased away from his features.

Legolas reached to touch Tauriel's skin, and his eyes widened. "Indeed! This has to be a good sign, ada", he said and smiled.

"She is returning to us…" the Elvenking said and sighed in cautious optimism.

"Our _fear_ have reached her and she is responding, I can feel it", Legolas commented.

"So can I, ion nin. Our combined efforts are much more fruitful. You were right. Your help is invaluable", Thranduil said in a deep and emotional voice and looked into his son's eyes.

Legolas smiled and nodded, but said nothing. He only turned his attention back to Tauriel. Color had risen to her face now and she looked healthier.

A soft sigh then escaped her lips, and her brow twitched.

"Legolas! She stirs!" cried Thranduil in a hushed tone and leaned closer to her, cradling the side of her head in his palm and watching her intently.

The Prince looked at her more closely, and his face was lit with enthusiasm.

Tauriel then turned her face, moved her limbs slightly, and finally her eyes fluttered open. She gasped as she at last became conscious of the waking world again.

"Tauriel!" father and son cried in unison, and then Legolas drew a little back, allowing Thranduil to be the first to interact with her.

She gasped again and managed to at last focus her blurry sight. The face of Thranduil slowly materialized before her eyes, and his expression was one of utter relief and deep emotion. He was still cradling her head, but was otherwise restrained in his movements, giving her time to adjust to her whereabouts.

She parted her lips and tried to speak, but only a hoarse "Thranduil…" came out.

"I am here, meleth nin", he whispered tenderly and tears ran from his eyes.

She gazed at his emotional face, but it was also pale and drawn and tired. Memories then started to return to her, memories of the events before her fainting, and also memories of what she had witnessed during her long hours of insentient slumber.

She weakly lifted her arms then, inviting him into an embrace. He embraced her at once, gently folding his arms around her and holding her protectively. All barriers were removed then and he wept his heart out in her arms.

Legolas was watching the pair and the scene in front of him brought tears to his eyes as well. But he refrained from interrupting them, respecting their reunion and allowing them some moments of quiet.

"Thranduil… mell nin…" Tauriel whispered again, and drew a little back, sitting up in the bed.

"You are returned to us, beloved. How can I ever begin to describe how I feel at this precious moment?" he said in a deep and emotional voice.

Tauriel looked into his eyes longingly. How much she had missed their azure depths! A soft caress she traced along his cheek, and he closed his eyes at her touch, leaning into her palm.

"You brought me back…" she murmured.

"Yes… but not on my own", he responded and turned his eyes to Legolas, who was quietly watching them.

Tauriel followed the direction of his gaze and shifted in bed, turning to face a smiling Prince.

"Legolas… mellon nin!" she cried, and fresh tears rose in her emerald eyes.

"Welcome back, Tauriel", he told her softly and took her hand in his.

Unable to hold back, being overwhelmed with emotions of love and utter joy, she flung her arms around Legolas' shoulders and drew him into an embrace. He held her and smiled, while Thranduil was watching the scene with tears of relief glistening in the corners of his eyes.

"It was your light that guided me back. Without you, I would be lost in the shadowed land between life and death", she spoke to both of them in a low, almost reverent voice.

"But you are not lost, and you are with us now. That is all that matters", said Thranduil tenderly and caressed her hair. Then he looked deep into her eyes. "How are you feeling?" he asked her.

"Relieved… joyous…" she replied, and then the corners of her lips drew up in a pleasant grin and her eyes twinkled. "And hungry, I would say".

A soft chuckle followed her words, and at the sound of it Thranduil's face was lit with bliss and love for the elleth before him. Not wishing to hold back his emotions, he laughed, and his laughter was deep and heartfelt and liberating. Both Tauriel and Legolas were pleasantly surprised to hear the Elvenking's heartfelt and rare laughter.

Then the Prince stood from his seat and spoke. "Well, my dear friend, that can be easily taken care of. I will have something prepared for you and sent to your chambers".

"Thank you, Legolas", she said softly and gazed at her friend, who was so precious to her.

"And now, I believe you would excuse my departure… You do deserve some moments of undisturbed peace and privacy. By your leave, my lord father", he said, turning to Thranduil and offering him a bow.

The Elvenking was deeply touched by his son's care and concern, and lifted his elegant hand to wave away his formal ministration.

"You need not bow to me, ion nin. It is thanks to you that Tauriel is well now, and I owe you a great many thanks", Thranduil said.

"I have your love, ada, as you have mine. And where love is concerned, debts are insubstantial and meaningless", responded Legolas, causing both Thranduil and Tauriel to marvel at the wisdom of his words.

With that he turned and stepped out of the room, leaving the pair alone.

Thranduil and Tauriel turned to each other, locking gazes and holding hands. They were almost holding their breaths, for these moments were so precious and intense, but there was also so much that needed to be said…


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

The tray of food lay now almost empty on the bedside table. Color had returned to Tauriel's cheeks, and she looked healthy and strong.

Thranduil had been quietly sitting close to her while she was eating, watching her in silence – reverence even. He would allow her to take all the time she needed until she was ready to talk about her unique experience.

And now ready she was, as she leaned back against the bed's headboard and sought his embrace. He immediately complied, pulling her tenderly into his arms and dropping a feathery kiss on the top of her head.

"Are you feeling alright, meleth nin?" he murmured against her hair.

"Yes, I am feeling alive again, and for that I am glad beyond measure. While lost in that world beyond, I feared I may never wake", she replied in a low voice.

"Do you wish to speak of it?" he asked her, while his long fingers threaded in her soft tresses.

"Yes, I wish to tell you everything. But first I wish to look at you and kiss you, Thranduil", she told him fervently as she turned her eyes to his and shifted in his embrace, coming to face him.

His gaze flickered with emotion at her words, and he brought his palm to cup her cheek, softly running his thumb along her cheekbone.

Tauriel mirrored his move, and traced with her fingers the outline of his face, letting them slide towards his ear and beneath it, where they sought to rest at the nape of his neck.

Thranduil leaned closer and bent his head over hers, slightly tilting it to the side, so that his lips met hers in a light brush, not wishing to rush anything but relish every moment.

She was holding her breath, shivering with excitement and anticipation, until at last he sealed his lips with hers and she surrendered her whole existence to his kiss. The kiss was slow, languid and deep, allowing the two lovers to remember and rediscover each other.

Feelings of love and longing flowed between them in warm waves and washed their spirits clean of worry and doubt. Tauriel brought her arms around Thranduil, urging him to be closer to her still. He willingly complied and enclosed her in his strong embrace. She felt cherished and protected in his arms, and rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh, while a single tear ran down her cheek. He kissed her temple and softly caressed her back, providing her with much-needed comfort.

"I have missed you, Thranduil… love of my heart", she whispered to him in a broken voice.

"And I you, meleth nin. I died a million times when you fell unconscious in my arms, and you would not wake up for days since", he responded in a sorrowful tone.

She drew a little back then, and looked at his face closely. It was only now that she realized how pale and drawn he looked and how colorless his lips were, how the hollows beneath his cheekbones had become deeper and his gaze fatigued and shadowed. A frown of worry descended upon her brow and she softly pushed back a stray strand of his silver hair.

"And during all these days, you were here by my side, sleepless, restless and worried, exhausting yourself to your limits, no doubt", Tauriel concluded.

He sighed and averted his eyes. "I belonged nowhere else but where my heart was", he whispered.

The depths of her eyes trembled. "I would not have you give up your own life for mine, ever", she cried in a hushed tone.

"But this is what love is all about: sacrifice", he told her and looked at her, his eyes two bottomless wells of love and longing.

Tauriel then remembered Lothrin's words: _when you love someone, Tauriel, their life matters to you far more than your own,_ the white lady had told her, and now she heard the same from Thranduil. A soft gasp escaped her lips, and a tear fell from her eye.

"You truly love me, deeply and unconditionally, beyond reason and doubt", she spoke in a shaky voice, and it was a realization, a statement, and not a question.

Touched by her words, he nodded before speaking in a tone that resembled hers. "I do, Tauriel".

"Then my heart is glad, because this is how I love you as well, and I have been a fool to allow doubt to take root between us. But I have learned my lessons, and I will not make the same mistakes twice", she told him firmly, and brought her hand to caress his face again.

"My sweet love, do not mourn for past decisions. The greatest fault lies with me. I will not forgive myself for succumbing to the darkness inside me and behaving despicably towards you", he spoke mournfully.

"No, Thranduil. You would not have reacted thus, had I not pushed you to the limits of your patience by doubting and belittling your love for me. I let jealousy for the love you hold for your late wife creep inside my heart and rule my mind. I should have known better. I should have known _you_ better", Tauriel said in a steady and fervent tone.

The inquisitive look on his face prompted her to speak further.

"No longer will I compare the feelings you hold for Lothrin with your feelings for me. For I have been shown much during my days of slumber, and much I have come to understand. Will you listen now? For I wish to tell you everything that happened. I may have seemed like an empty and unresponsive shell to you, but in truth my _fea_ was wandering and experiencing marvels", she told him with a shimmer in her bright eyes.

"Yes, Tauriel, I will listen to everything you have to say", he replied and watched her face as its expression changed.

She took a deep breath and allowed memories to flood her mind before she began her narration.

"In a vast and snow-covered plain I was wandering, and there was a sunless grey sky above. There was neither day or night to follow each other in succession, but a timeless constancy of things. Alone I was and lost, until a voice spoke to me in the wind. It was the voice of your wife, Thranduil", she began, and her words were met with a surprised look on his face.

"You mean to say Lothrin visited you in your dreams?"

"Yes. By leave of the Valar Mandos and Irmo she came and contacted me, as this grey zone between life and death was the only place she could speak to me", Tauriel replied.

"Then this state of yours had truly been a work of the Valar, as Elrond had said… And it happened so that my wife could deliver her message to you", the Elvenking inferred with a look of awe upon him.

"Yes, I have come to think so myself, although Lothrin had little knowledge of the workings and purposes of the Valar. Perhaps the _Feanturi_ allowed this favor to her aggrieved and shattered fea as an act of leniency and mercy, but I cannot speak for certain", the elleth commented thoughtfully.

"There is always purpose to the workings of the Valar", Thranduil said, but then his gaze became sorrowful and dropped, the steadiness of his voice faltering as he spoke. "How was she in your dreams, Tauriel? Is she in pain and regret?"

"Oh Thranduil…" she breathed and touched his chin lightly, inviting his gaze to meet hers. Her heart went out for his pain, and this time she felt no jealousy or doubt. "She was very beautiful, unfathomably so… Tall and blue-eyed, with hair as white as the purest winter snow. Her face was gentle and loving, her voice like the softest velvet and compassionate, her touch soothing like balm", she described her vision of the white lady to him.

"Oh Lothrin, my snow-crowned Queen…" he lamented her memory and allowed a tear to ran down his cheek.

"She remembers you and loves you always, Thranduil. All she had done out of love for you, and it was because of her love for you that she came to find me in my long sleep. She does not regret her sacrifice, but only wishes for you to be happy and not bound to mourning her for all eternity. It breaks her heart to see you suffering still, my love. Thus she spoke to me, and her words I will never forget: _But long he has mourned our eternal sundering, and I would see him healed and happy. I did not give up my life, Tauriel, for him to spend the rest of his in grief and despair. My sacrifice was not meant to be in vain._ Those were her exact words, Thranduil. This is what your wife wishes for you", said Tauriel in a low and emotional voice.

Thranduil was moved beyond description, and felt a lump forming in his throat and rendering him unable to speak. He only managed to nod at Tauriel's words, and rushed to wipe away the tears that escaped from his eyes.

She leaned closer and kissed his tear-stained cheeks, and then cradled his head in her hands. "Forgive me for misspeaking of the love you shared with Lothrin and insulting her memory. I was brash and ignorant, a blithering idiot", she admitted with a flush of shame rising to her cheeks.

"It is understandable why you had felt so. And we both spoke words directed by anger and hurt. Let us forgive each other our wrongs, yet one more time", he offered and tried to smile.

"Wisely you speak, mell nin", she said and leaned close, touching his lips with hers, inviting him to kiss her. He accepted her invitation and claimed her mouth with his, allowing love to fill their hearts and calm their senses.

After a while she drew back and looked at him. "Pray halt the kiss now, for there is still much I wish to tell you", she said with a small smile and touched his lips with her delicate fingers.

He brought his hand upon hers and held it as he kissed her fingertips. "Tell me then what you will, and I will listen. The night is still young and we have all the time of world…" he whispered to her and smiled faintly.

"The purpose of Lothrin's visit was to show me things of your shared past, memories of hers actually, so that I may understand you better. Every time she would take my hand and I would see through her mind's eye scenes that had taken place long ago". Tauriel explained.

"What did she show you?" Thranduil wondered.

A soft smile rose to Tauriel's lips. "The first scenes were pleasant… She showed me your meeting beneath that great tree in Menegroth's gardens, when you proposed marriage to her… And then another scene where you sat with your parents and discussed the date of your betrothal".

Memories came unbidden in Thranduil's mind of those bygone times, and his eyes shimmered like stars.

"Oh yes", he said. "My father would not allow us to expedite out betrothal. He used to say often that we had to abide by Sindarin tradition and observe its customs, since we were kinsmen of the King and we had to set the example for the rest of our people", he reminisced.

"You seemed to have been a different person back then", Tauriel commented.

"I was young and ignorant of the world. I was impatient to live life to its fullest, and I cared little for traditions", he responded.

"But your eyes were clear and free of worry. Your heart was not burdened with grief…" she whispered and took his hand in hers, gently squeezing it.

Thranduil's gaze dropped to their joined hands. "I have lived long, Tauriel, and it is the fate of the Eldar to feel greatly for the world and bear its sorrows in their hearts", he said in a low tone.

"You remind me now of your father, as I have seen him in the visions. You share the same deep, piercing gaze and the same high brow of determination. When you were young, you were a bit more like Legolas, I think. But now you resemble more lord Oropher, my love. Unfaltering like him in your resolve you are, and your thoughts and feelings a mystery to decipher when you are in the presence of others. Your mother, however, seemed to me to have been a sweet and gentle elleth. I see her in you when we are alone and tender", the elleth commented, and Thranduil looked at her with interest.

"What more of my parents has Lothrin shown you?" he inquired.

"No more pleasant visions, I am afraid. She showed me the fall of Doriath, and the death of her parents and your mother".

The Elvenking's gaze immediately grew shadowed. "Those were dark days, and full of grief and despair. I still remember the sons of Feanor and their followers slaying our people. I still remember the dead bodies of Lothrin's parents lying in the gardens. And I will never forget the grim and tragic figure of my father as he stood with my slain mother in his arms…" Thranduil whispered and sighed, making a short pause before going on. "Nothing was the same afterwards, and we were forced to abandon our homes and seek a new life elsewhere. We ended up in Lindon", he concluded.

"To have witnessed with my own eyes what horrors you have lived through pains my heart deeply, Thranduil. But at last I do understand your grief better. And Lothrin withheld nothing; she showed me the battle of Gundabad…" Tauriel said in a low, sorrowful voice.

His gaze flickered and trembled as he heard the name of that accursed place. "Gundabad…" he whispered. "She showed you her death…"

"Yes, and it was the more frightful sight I have ever beheld. I could feel your agony, your despair, your horror… I could feel everything as if I was there with you, fighting beside you… And when the dragon came and Lothrin challenged it", she stopped here momentarily as her voice choked in her throat. "Oh Thranduil, I knew what was going to happen, since you had told me the story of it, but the dire anticipation was awful and overbearing. I wanted to reach out and help you, if I could, I wanted to warn you of the dragon's descent and take cover before it was too late… But I could do nothing but watch… just watch while Lothrin walked forward and challenged the beast, and her last glance was reserved for you only, and it was of indescribable love and tenderness, Thranduil…" she finished her words and her voice broke.

Thranduil's eyes were brimming with fresh tears, and he pulled Tauriel into his arms and held her firmly, drawing strength from their embrace to not fall apart again.

"I am sorry you now have to bear the burden of knowledge and the memory of sight, dearest one. These horrors were mine, they were not meant for you", he lamented.

"But it was Lothrin's will to show me, and I respect her purpose. And my experience during my time of unconsciousness affected me truly and deeply, Thranduil. Neither am I as ignorant now, nor will I ever begrudge you your love for her. In her wisdom and kindness she has helped both of us overcome some of the obstacles in our path. The rest we have to conquer ourselves", Tauriel spoke with ardent determination.

"I am willing to fight for you, beloved. I would do anything for your love", he whispered to her feverishly and looked intensely into her eyes.

"And I for yours", she responded and touched his cheek with her fingertips. "You deserve to be happy at last. These two thousand years of sorrow will have to come to an end".

"Oh, do you think I do not wish to be happy? My heart longs for it! For too long I have grieved and mourned my lost love, which had been taken from me forever, and believed I had been cruelly robbed of my one and only chance in happiness. I could never think I might deserve a second chance. For too long I believed I would have to spend the rest of my life in loneliness, and considered myself unworthy of being loved again. But you, Tauriel, woke up in my heart feelings I had long forgotten, feelings I thought I would never feel again. I loved you from afar, and never dared hope you would one day love me back. Until you did, and my world was changed", he finished his short monologue and a smile of gladness graced his features, while starlight shone in his eyes.

"As was mine", she told him. "When I met Kili, I felt something stir in my heart. I felt for his plight, I felt our spirits shared common elements. I came to love him in the end, and his death upon Ravenhill shattered my heart. But when you came out of the ruins, Thranduil, I saw the depths of your eyes, those depths that trembled with unfathomable grief and pain, and realization dawned on me that you were not the cold and distanced creature you presented yourself as. I realized you were an ellon who had been through so much, and who had loved dearly, beyond reason and earthly boundaries. How profound had my shame been there for having called you loveless. How cruel and superficial I had been, blinded by my own agony…" Tauriel lamented and shook her head, lowering her gaze, her brow furrowing in sorrow and remorse.

But Thranduil reached for her and gently lifted her chin, not letting her sink deeper in sadness. "Do not think upon dark times now, meleth nin. Allow us a respite from grief, for that we have in abundance, and a respite is rare and precious. We are now together and reunited, and I would not have these moments of ours be shadowed by ghosts of the past", he whispered to her and gave her an encouraging smile.

Tauriel sighed and looked deeply into his eyes. In the end she nodded, and leaned close, folding her arms around his torso and resting against his chest.

"You are loved and cherished, Tauriel", he murmured in her hair, as he languidly stroked her back, inducing serenity and calmness in her, and it expanded from limb to limb.

She allowed herself to relax in his arms, breathing in his scent, feeling his warmth enveloping her, relishing his strength and protection. She had missed the feel of him as much as he had missed the feel of her being alive in his embrace, and it was a feel they both never wanted to let go of.

At long last she lifted her face to look at him, her eyes far more eloquent in delivering her messages than her words could ever be.

"I love you, Thranduil. And I will return to Mirkwood. My time of doubt and uncertainty is over", she spoke in calm and peace, and there were no big words or exaggerated ministrations needed to support her steadfastness.

His pale eyes widened as he heard her unexpected declaration. "Do you truly mean it?" he uttered, lips remaining slightly parted in astonishment.

"Yes. Will you accept me back in the Guard, my lord?" she asked him with a pleasant grin and a twinkle of her eyes.

"Of course…!" he breathed, suddenly overwhelmed with joy and excitement. "Your position awaits you, Captain", he said, using her old title for the first time after so long.

Tauriel sat up and laughed merrily, and her laughter was to his ears the sweetest melody.

Then Thranduil's demeanor became more serious, as another thought was born in his head. "Would you also reconsider… my proposition?" he asked in a rather timorous voice, not daring to hope for too much.

His nervousness brought a smile to her lips, and she cupped his cheek and gazed deep into his nearly silver eyes before answering. He was waiting in anxiety for the words that would leave her mouth.

"I would", she finally replied in a somewhat cryptic manner, while her smile turned mischievous.

Thranduil's eyes were then lit with a unique inner light that had never been revealed to Tauriel before, and for a moment it reminded her of his youthful look during the vision of his marriage proposal to Lothrin.

"Oh, meleth nin!" he whispered in a deep, emotional voice, and then he bent his head over hers and claimed her lips into a searing kiss.

Tauriel felt she was melting in his touch, and surrendered herself completely to his passion. Her heart was singing in utter bliss and love for Thranduil, and it was a song she never wanted to end.

When the need for breath became imminent, they broke the kiss, gasping for air. Joy was written all over their faces, and Thranduil was feeling like an elfling, who was discovering love for the first time.

"I hope that the people will accept me… as well as our relationship. I will not lie to you; I still fear they will look down on me with contempt. They might think I am seeking to take advantage of your loneliness in order to become a Queen", she confessed and worry lined her fine features.

"They will not dare oppose me. If I tell them you are my chosen one, then it will be enough for them. Do you think my people think me a rash and witless elfling? No, my love. Or think you they will wish to cross their King? Anyone who might will regret it dearly. I will not stand for petty nonsense", he said in a stern and regal tone that reminded Tauriel of who Thranduil actually was, what position he held and how powerful he truly was.

Her heart was calmed a bit, and she nodded with a smile. "Seeing you in your private hours had almost made me forget the impressive King that you are, Thranduil. I remember often, when I had to report to you and the outcome had not been the desired one, my blood would run cold in my veins for fear of your wrath and vehemence. I pity anyone who would choose to oppose you!" she added that last one with a small chuckle, causing amusement to rise in the Elvenking's gaze. "I should have trusted you when you first sought to reassure me. I should not have doubted you", she said with regret in her voice.

He regarded her for a little while, his manner now having changed into one of softness and care. "Your doubts and worries were entirely understandable. But fear not, beloved", he said. "In our realm you are loved still. Had you not realized that when you first visited after fifty years? You yourself had told me then that most people held no feelings of resentment towards you; on the contrary, they complained about your prolonged absence", he sought to remind her and gently squeezed her hand in his. "Of course we will not emerge from these rooms tomorrow morning and announce our wedding plans. All will be done in due time. You shall be reinstated to your position as Captain first, and start doing what you know how to do best: protect the realm. In the meantime, we will gradually make the nature of our relationship known: first to the court, then to the public. We will allow time to pass until most have gotten used to the idea of their King acquiring a new wife. When the time is right, we will determine a date for our betrothal, and later on for our wedding. You will become my Queen, Tauriel, and you will be loved by all for the wonderful and spirited person that you are", he concluded with love and passion in his voice.

She smiled brightly. "You had all this planned out from the beginning, had you not?" she inquired.

He answered her question with a smirk. "Of course. Do I ever act without purpose or a plan in mind? Were you willing to listen back in Rivendell, when I proposed marriage to you, I would have let these thoughts of mine unfold. But you refused me and you had been quite adamant about it", he commented, with that smirk still playing upon his lips.

"I am glad it is not late for me to reconsider then, and accept your proposal and your plan of action!" she responded merrily and flung her arms around his shoulders.

He purposefully allowed himself to fall back on the mattress under her weight, and looked at her intensely. "How about this plan of action of mine?" he asked darkly, as he traced her thigh with his hand. "For I do nothing without purpose…" he murmured, his voice now having dropped low and being lined with lust.

Perched on top of him, she slowly parted her legs and came to straddle his hips. "I will follow your plans to the end, my lord. Am I known for ineffectiveness?" she retorted in the same manner, with a mischievous smile now on her face that invoked her lover's passion further.

"No, you are not…" he murmured huskily. "But this is not an order now. It is a plan for us to carry out together", he said and at that moment flipped them around, lowering his body on hers.

"I would wish it no other way", she whispered, and then his mouth crushed on hers, scorching and demanding in their kiss.

No more words were spoken that night, for the air was soon filled with the pants and moans of their love and passion. It was not until the first light of day that silence fell in Tauriel's chambers.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The first few days after Tauriel's awakening went by fast, as she had little time to herself. Not only did Thranduil never leave her side, but Legolas and her friends were always around as well. Her recovery was met with great joy by lord Elrond, Arwen and Lossendis, who remained in Mirkwood for these few days. The people of the realm were also relieved to hear of her being alive and well now, and to see their King resume his duties again. However, due to his prolonged absence on Tauriel's behalf, rumors of them sharing a romantic relationship were now flaring up in the King's court.

The last day before the departure of the three elves of Rivendell Thranduil decided to host a great feast. The purpose and meaning of the feast would be double: first of all, it would be held in honor of the lord of Imladris, whose contribution to discovering what had happened to Tauriel was invaluable, and secondly, the Elvenking had in mind to announce said elleth's return to the Woodland Realm.

So it was now, and the great hall was brightly lit and beautifully decorated with twigs, pine and fir cones, as well as mistletoe and other evergreen wintery flora. The gentle, yellowish light of the lanterns made the atmosphere very warm and welcoming, and the air was filled with elven songs of merriment.

The folk of the wood was more than happy to partake in another feast and in quite a short time after Mereth nuin Giliath, and the great hall was crowded and lively. The elves rejoiced at their King's decision for feasting, and the eldest were even reminded of days past, before the Shadow had fallen over their beautiful forest, when the King and his folk would often feast and make merry under the trees.

The Elvenking's table was the largest of all, round in shape and placed in the center of the room. His chair was high-backed and ornate, distinct among the rest. To the right of the King sat lord Elrond, with his daughter on his side. The Prince was on his father's left, with Lossendis and Tauriel following in order of seat. The rest of the chairs were occupied by the noble elves of the council.

Tauriel watched Thranduil with secret admiration as he regally rose from his seat to offer a toast. He looked radiant in his dark blue robes and silver cloak, and he wore his winter crown upon his silver head. Absolute silence fell in the hall as the King extended his elegant hand, which held a glass of wine, and began to speak.

"A toast for our esteemed guest, lord Elrond!" he announced in a clear, vibrating voice that echoed across the vast cavernous hall. "I raise my glass to his honor and with feelings of deep gratitude, for his contribution to helping a member of our folk find her way back to the living world had been invaluable". A small smile graced his otherwise calm and controlled features, and he turned slightly to Elrond's side, tilting his head as he spoke. "May your days be blessed with peace and prosperity, mellon nin", he concluded his short speech, and then everyone followed the King's example and sipped from their wine.

The lord of Imladris nodded and smiled, feeling touched by Thranduil's words. "Thank you, Elvenking. Your words honor me greatly", he said in a humble tone, rising briefly from his seat and inclining his head in front of Thranduil, acknowledging his gesture.

Then the King turned to his people again, and raised both hands this time. "And now, let the feast begin!"

With that he returned to his seat, and the room was once again filled with chatter and music.

"Your presence will be missed, Elrond", said Thranduil to him in a good-natured manner.

"You are always welcome to Imladris, Thranduil. I trust you will not allow another couple of centuries to pass before you decide to pay us a visit again", he responded, suppressing a chuckle, but the mirth showed on his face as his grey eyes shimmered.

"Most definitely not. I am fairly certain Legolas plans to journey oft to your lands, and I may accompany him sometimes. Furthermore, I am a different person now, Elrond", the Elvenking said, and his tone turned more serious as he uttered the last sentence. "I am not disengaged from the world anymore. I have reevaluated my life and my purpose".

"It gladdens my heart to hear this, my friend. What prompted you to change your views, if I may ask?" Elrond inquired with a slightly raised eyebrow, although he was half suspecting the answer.

" _She_ did", Thranduil answered plainly and earnestly, and glanced at Tauriel as he spoke. The red-haired elleth caught his gaze and gifted him with a bright smile, causing his heart to sing in joy. "Her love is transforming me. I am rediscovering who I was, before I allowed grief and despair to take hold of me and turn me into a living statue of ice", he admitted and lowered his gaze to his plate.

"Alas, the sorrows of the Eldar are never ending. And your share, Thranduil, had been a great one and hard to bear. But to see you now with renewed vigor and desire for life speaks for itself. I had not been wrong in considering you one of the strongest and more persevering elves to have ever walked this Middle Earth. The woodland elves could not have wished for a better King", Elrond spoke in kindness.

An almost timid smile curled the corners of Thranduil's lips, and he still kept his gaze low, contemplating Elrond's words and also the recent events of his life that resulted in his reshaping. After a brief period of silence, he lifted his eyes to his interlocutor again and spoke.

"I am planning an assault on Dol Guldur, as soon as I can have my army mustered and ready", he stated firmly. "The filth should be cleansed in its source".

The lord of Imladris eyed him with concern. "A perilous endeavor…" he commented thoughtfully. "Forget not that Khamul commands the forces of Dol Guldur, and he is second only to the Witch King".

"I am aware of that, Elrond. Khamul and two more of the Nazgul reside there. But the oppression of the Shadow is growing. The dungeons of the old fortress are swarming with orcs and wargs… The impertinence of Dol Guldur is insufferable, as the enemies cause trouble and skirmish in our southern borders daily. I cannot allow them to strengthen their forces, lest they choose to launch a massive attack on my realm first and obliterate us", the Elvenking said, tapping his fingertips lightly on the table. His brow was furrowed in unyielding resolve.

"There is wisdom in your words. The threat of the Enemy is ever-present. We cannot afford to let it grow unhindered. But I would advise you not to rush; be wary and careful in your preparations. When the time comes, send word to me and I will provide you with a number of warriors to aid your cause. You would do well to ask for the aid of the rest of your allies as well", said Elrond, looking at Thranduil intently.

The Elvenking was pleased to hear of Elrond's offer of assistance. "Thank you, mellon. Your kindness will not be forgotten. Still, I doubt that the rest of my allies, as you called them, would be much willing to help".

"What is the meaning of an alliance if not aiding each other in times of war?" Elrond responded and leaned back in his chair. "Send word to the lords Dain and Bain. In this war to come we are all allies, and it only an alliance that can defeat the Dark Lord".

Thranduil peered deeply into Elrond's eyes, and then nodded. "I shall. But I hold doubts about their cooperation, for Dain is stubborn and Bain is old. I fear they will not be willing to lead their forces into a war that I myself will instigate. I shall try to negotiate with them, however, as you suggest. I see now it is only an alliance that may bring down the Shadow. You have always spoken in wisdom, but it is only late that I listened".

"I should be glad you did listen at last. Sometimes you are more obdurate than lord Dain himself…" Elrond commented in jest disguised as seriousness, but the twinkle in his eyes gave him away. Thranduil laughed heartily, and starlight shone in his eyes. Elrond watched his friend and was pleased that at long last joy had returned to his heart.

As his laughter gradually died down, the Elvenking spoke again. "You failed to mention Galadriel and Celeborn. Should they not be most interested in the cleansing of Dol Guldur, since its filth and aggression reaches their borders as much as mine?"

"Indeed. And I failed to mention them because I consider their assistance a certainty. Their people and yours, after all, are of very close kin. The lady Galadriel desires Dol Guldur to be purged of the evil, of that I am sure. But you should speak with her, if you wish to know the thoughts of her mind", the lord of Imladris said with an eyebrow raised in thoughtfulness.

"I have not met with Galadriel for centuries…" Thranduil sighed and sank back in his chair.

"Well, that renewed and changed version of yourself should rekindle old relations and alliances. It is worth the effort, in the face of the coming war".

The Elvenking regarded Elrond for a while without uttering a word, and finally nodded his agreement. In his mind, the first layout of his plans was already being formed.

* * *

Nearby, an entirely different conversation was taking place.

Lossendis leaned to Tauriel's side and said in a low voice, "I would have expected you to sit next to the King". A playful smile was on her face and made her brilliant eyes shine.

"This seat belongs today to lord Elrond. He is the guest of honor. And I am but a simple Silvan elf of the Realm. I am honored to even sit at this table", she replied in a reserved tone.

"What does that mean? Are you and him not going to take the next step?" she inquired.

"Probably, at some point in the future… But not yet. It is too early. I should first return to my duties in the Guard and be accepted back by the people. In time, we will let them know of our relationship. Thranduil and I have agreed on this", Tauriel explained.

"Oh, I see. And here I thought you might marry before I do!" Lossendis softly chuckled.

Tauriel returned the smile. "Are you making such plans?"

"To use your words, I will say probably, at some point in the future!" she said and laughed again merrily. "We need to set a date for the betrothal first. I believe around midsummer would be nice", she mused.

"It sounds perfect. I long to see Legolas happy. He has been through much in these dark times, and he deserves light and love in his life… more than any of us perhaps", Tauriel commented and glanced at her childhood friend, who was currently chatting with his father.

She let her gaze linger on them for a while. Prince and King looked content in each other's company. Legolas was being lively and open as usual. Thranduil, although maintaining a more restrained manner, was also mirthful, and it was not a pretense. The sight of his smiling face warmed her heart, and the impulse to run to him, hug him and kiss him was born inside her.

She contemplated what a long way they had come to reach this state. Starting off as King and ward, then spending most of her life in his service as a Captain in the Guard, and lately revealing their love for each other and becoming lovers, she marveled at how unexpected life could be. Much had happened in the past, but what did the future hold?

"They look lovely together, father and son. Do they not?" Lossendis murmured and smiled. Her gaze, just like Tauriel's, was also trained on the royal ellyn.

"Yes… I do not recall seeing them like this ever before in my life. At last the grievances of the past have been set aside, for the most part at least", said the red-haired elleth in a thoughtful tone.

"Legolas has spoken to me of his relationship with his father. His mother died when he was only a few years old, and since then the King became cold and distant. He had always felt that the day he lost his mother, he lost his father as well", Lossendis said and sorrow creased her forehead.

"I have been friends with Legolas ever since I was brought into the Elvenking's halls. His father's sentimental absence had always weighed heavily in his heart, and he never agreed with his ways. You see, the whole realm took after Thranduil's psychological state: we became more and more isolated and shut-off from the rest of the world as the years went by. Strangers were unwelcome, and the King was distrustful and suspicious of everyone with unclear purposes. Legolas felt distressed, but for long he dared not voice his opposition; he dutifully obeyed his father's commands", narrated Tauriel.

"He told me it was not until the battle at the slopes of Erebor that things started to change", Lossendis said and titled her head to the side.

"Yes. That battle was a turning point for all of us. We were not the same afterwards", Tauriel replied in a low voice and let her gaze drop to her glass, as memories of those times came unbidden to her mind.

Lossendis studied the other elleth's face for a while. "You defied the King, and Legolas joined you in this. He told me it grieved him deeply to go against his father, but he would not abandon you to continue the fight alone".

Tauriel nodded. "The Prince has a noble heart. This defiance of his father was his turning point, I think. He had had enough of Thranduil's detached and uncaring manner, and he decided he would not be like him. Since then he started discovering who he truly is and becoming an ellon of his own", she said and forced a small smile.

"It is a pity this happened under such circumstances", the dark-haired elleth commented.

"Alas, life-altering events and decisions rarely come smoothly. There is a cost to be paid", said Tauriel.

"You said that battle was a turning point for you all. What changed for you and Thranduil that day?" Lossendis wondered.

"I drew my bow against him. I do not think anything could remain the same afterwards", she replied with a bitter smile and downcast eyes. "In that moment I despised him, I hated him. Blinded by despair, I could not see that my rash acts equaled treason. I did not care at all what would happen to me. I only knew I had to save Kili", she confessed.

Lossendis nodded, remembering what Legolas had told her of the dwarven King and his company, as well as Tauriel's affection for one of his nephews.

"Only when I mourned over his dead body did I truly feel what losing your loved one meant. I suddenly felt all alone and bereft. With Kili gone, and myself banished and homeless, I knew not what future awaited me, if any. I half expected to be thrown in the dungeons forever, or even be executed for treason", she sighed and tears rose to her eyes at the bitter memories. "But I was wrong, Lossendis. For when I lifted my eyes from Kili's body it was Thranduil I saw. Him, and no one else. He walked close to me, looking broken and derelict, his entire existence shaken as I had never witnessed before. He felt for my pain and offered me what little comfort he could. Can you imagine that, my friend? I had threatened his life but he was still there for me in my dark hour of grief. I had turned my back to him, but still he came to me", she concluded in a broken voice and hastily wiped a tear from her cheek.

"He loved you", Lossendis tenderly said and touched her hand.

"Yes. But back then I was too blind to realize that. Consumed by grief and blaming him for Kili's death, I spat back in his face his forgiveness. I did not want to return to Mirkwood and keep serving this cold and unfeeling King", Tauriel said and shook her head. "I could not come to terms with the fact that the ellon I had admired, feared and revered since I was an elfling was responsible for my misery".

Lossendis sighed and looked at her in sorrow and sympathy.

"But I was wrong. As the years passed, my anger and my hate for him dissipated. Only disappointment and hurt remained. But it was not until I met with him again and we had a chance to talk about those past events and learn of his motives that I truly saw the folly of my choices", Tauriel admitted.

"Do you regret going after the dwarves and trying to defend them?" Lossendis asked with care.

"No, never. But I do regret overstepping and threatening Thranduil's life. I do not know if I would ever be able to release that arrow, but the thought of it alone makes me sick. Countless times I have wished that things had been different back then, but the truth remains as it is", she said and sighed.

"But he forgave you and invited you back to his kingdom", Lossendis commented.

Tauriel nodded thoughtfully. "Yes. After everything that happened, he was willing to overlook it all. Now that I think of it, I never deserved such magnanimity and kindness. I deserved severe punishment. I did not know why he did it, and this lack of understanding infuriated me even more".

"It seems to me that all he wanted was you to love him, and forgive him as he forgave you", Lossendis said softly and gave the other elleth a warm look.

Tauriel's eyes widened at this simple piece of wisdom Lossendis had just offered. "I wish I had been that insightful back then. Much hurt would have been avoided", she lamented.

"We cannot change what happened. But look where you stand now. You have come a long way, you said it yourself. Your King is not heartless and mean. On the contrary, he loves you, and you love him back", Lossendis commented with a small smile and glistening eyes.

"Do I hear talk of love going on?"

It was Legolas who interjected the question, leaning towards his beloved and placing his hand on her shoulder.

The two ellith blushed slightly, and Tauriel looked away in uneasiness. Lossendis turned her face to Legolas' direction.

"Is not love the most important motive in our lives?" she said and her eyes danced, feeling her heart and body warmed by the close proximity of Legolas.

The Prince peered deeply into her eyes, and it was only propriety that kept him from kissing her lips in public for everyone to see.

"It is, I will not argue. Would you offer me this dance, in the name of love, my lady?" he asked her courtly, and, taking her hand in his own, placed a kiss on her knuckles.

"It would be my pleasure, my lord", she responded in the same manner.

Then Legolas rose from his seat, still holding Lossendis' hand, who stood right after him. "If you would excuse us, my lady Tauriel", he told her with a playful smirk and a small bow.

Tauriel laughed softly. "By all means, my lord".

The beautiful pair then left the table and joined the dancers. The minstrels were now playing a vivid, uplifting piece of music that prompted many elves to join the dance, and soon the room was filled with flowing silks of every color and glowing faces.

Thranduil turned his gaze to Tauriel from over the two now emptied seats. Since Elrond and Arwen were preoccupied in conversations with the members of his council, he decided to approach the red-haired elleth, who was left on her own.

Seeing him rise from his chair and moving towards her caused Tauriel's heart to beat faster with anticipation.

"Are you being lonely, my lady?" he began with a soft smirk.

Tauriel smiled and looked into his eyes, taking a moment to regard him before replying.

"Not anymore".

The Elvenking sat down next to her. "I am glad that my company is welcome", he said and gazed at her lovingly. But as he looked at her more closely, his countenance became somewhat concerned. "Are these traces of sorrow I see? Is something troubling you, meleth nin?" he asked her in a low voice, inaudible to anyone but her.

"No, no, I am fine", she quickly answered, shaking her head. "You need not worry. It was just some memories of the past, evoked by the conversation I had with Lossendis".

"But I will not have you be sorrowful tonight, or any night since", he told her in a deep voice.

"I know", she breathed softly and let herself get lost in his cerulean eyes.

He smiled then and spoke. "I would ask you to come with me to the terrace and retreat from this crowded hall for a while, but I fear our absence will be noted and gossiped about, so I must refrain from it. But I shall ask something else of you: will you come to me in my chambers, after the feast has ended?"

Tauriel's lips parted slightly, as she thought of his words. Never before had they made love in his private quarters, never before had she lain in the same bed the Queen used to sleep all those centuries ago. His invitation to her was not void of significance and meaning.

Seeing her hesitation, the Elvenking spoke again, offering an alternative. "If you are reluctant or afraid you might be seen, I can come to you, if it is of your preference".

"No, Thranduil, I am neither unwilling nor afraid. It is just that…" she made a short pause and took a breath before continuing. "That is the place you used to share with Lothrin, the very private space where your love bloomed. I cannot intrude in that".

"You will not be intruding, beloved. True enough, those chambers are home to many fond memories, but I believe there is plenty of space for more memories to be made and kept", Thranduil responded in a soft tone and smiled at her.

The elleth's eyes shone with a new light then. His words had touched her and pleased her. "Alright then, I shall come to you, mell nin".

He nodded in approval and then reached to refill her glass. "I think it is time I announced your return to the Woodland Realm", he said.

Tauriel smiled. "You should return to your kingly seat", she told him and gestured towards it.

Thranduil stood and glanced down at her through half-lidded eyes, a smirk curling his lips. He nodded at her and then walked to his chair.

He waited for the song the minstrels played to end, and then he called for everyone's attention.

"Elves of the Woodland Realm! I have an announcement to make", he started and countless sets of eyes were turned on him at once, the chatter in the room dying down. "It is with gladness that I welcome Tauriel Elboroniel back to the realm and to her position in the Guard, after many years of absence. Past wrongs are forgiven and forgotten, for we are entering a new era, where dissension and discord have no place. We must be united if we are to face and defeat the great evil that gathers in the south. In this light, I ask of you to accept Tauriel back among you with joy and benevolence, as she is one of our own, a daughter of the wood".

A round of applause and cheer followed his short speech, the folk showing the King that his words were well-received. Some of the councilors, however, exchanged a few skeptical glances, but nobody voiced a comment.

The Elvenking noticed those glances and made sure to return them with his own ones of indifference and disregard. He expected that not everyone would be pleased with Tauriel's permanent return and reinstatement as Captain, but he would not suffer petty complaints.

Tauriel rose from her seat and bowed meekly. "Thank you, my lord", she offered in a timid voice and sat down again, feeling uneasy being in the center of attention.

He glanced at her, maintaining a serious and expressionless façade, as he was still being watched by all his subjects. He slowly nodded and then waved his hand in dismissal, gesturing for the feast to continue. And continue it did, well into the night.

* * *

Later that night Thranduil was lying in his bed, one arm bent and tucked beneath his head and eyes closed, resting. He had gotten rid of the heavy robes he wore at the feast and was wearing a simple grey tunic and matching loose pants. A glass of wine, which was carefully placed on the bedside table, was keeping him company. The fireplace was lit and the soft glow that emanated from it made the darkness of the room melt away.

The low crackling of the wood as the flames licked at it lulled Thranduil, and his slightly intoxicated mind was relaxed. Various incoherent thoughts danced in his head, but he wished not to linger on any of them. He simply lay and waited for his nighttime guest.

A while later, a soft knock on the doors signaled the arrival of said guest. "Come in", he called in a deep, somnolent voice.

He heard the outer door opening and closing, then some soft steps, and then the door to his bedchamber being pushed open. Tauriel's auburn head appeared from behind it, and she glanced around the dark room.

"I am over here, meleth nin", he spoke softly and looked at her through half-lidded eyes.

She turned her face towards the direction of his voice, and saw him lying leisurely in the bed, legs crossed at the ankle and covers pushed aside. A warm smile graced her features at the sight of him, and she slowly stepped closer.

The Elvenking observed her as she approached. She had exchanged her ornate dress of the feast for a simple white gown, and her hair hung about her shoulders unbraided and free of any ornamentation. Her emerald eyes were gleaming, and her cheeks were ever so lightly flushed.

He sat up, propping himself on his elbows, as she reached his side.

"You look beautiful… like you have come straight out of a vision", he murmured as his gaze traveled all over her slender form. The yellowish light of the fireplace accentuated her frame from behind, making her hair glow like flames and the outline of her gentle curves visible beneath her thin gown. Shadows were cast on her face, but her eyes shimmered.

A lustful smirk rose on his lips, and he outstretched his hand, elegant fingers touching her hip lightly and slowly tracing the curve downwards over her thigh. Tauriel shivered at his touch, and desire was lit like an ember inside her.

"I have missed you…" she breathed, and proceeded to get on the bed and deftly straddle his thighs.

His hands immediately went to her waist, squeezing gently as they slid backwards and lower over her bottom, eliciting a soft sigh from her.

"You have me now", he responded in a husky and lined with lust tone.

Tauriel brought her hand to tangle in his silken strands of silver-blond hair, pushing them backwards, behind his ears and shoulders. She peered deep into his starlit eyes, and smiled.

"I am glad to be back home", she whispered.

Thranduil returned her smile, and then one hand of his glided upwards along her spine until it reached the nape of her neck. Cradling her head gently, he leaned close and kissed her on the lips.

The kiss was not hurried, but languid and explorative. A tingling sensation spread over Tauriel's body at his familiar taste of wine that came first to the tongue, but it never covered that unique and indefinable taste of his that had her senses running wild every time.

She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned closer, allowing their bodies to touch in the front. He let out a deep moan when he felt her pressed against his arousal, and sought to hold her tighter still.

The Elvenking's mind and his sight had started to become hazy due to the combined effects of lust and alcohol. "I want you…" he murmured against her ear, and his voice alone was enough to make her shudder.

"And I you", she responded breathlessly, and her fingers went to the front of his pants. Loose as they were, she had no difficulty setting him free of his restraints and taking him in her hand.

He moaned again, more audibly this time, and bit lightly on her earlobe. His hands ran all over her body, making a pause to fondle her supple breasts. But the light fabric of her gown annoyed him, and he tugged at the laces with urgency, quickly exposing her tantalizing flesh to him. Mouth and hands were on it at once, making her burning hot with desire, while she continued her ministrations in the nether parts of his body.

When he felt somewhat satisfied with the attention he had given to her soft globes of femininity, he dropped his hands to her thighs, grabbing hold of her dress and pulling it upwards.

Suddenly aware of his intent, Tauriel looked bewildered. "Like _this_?" she asked him.

"Like this", he replied with impatience in his tone.

With the hem now lifted above her knees, his fingers crept underneath it and stroked the flesh of her thighs, smooth skin covering taut muscle, until he reached her bottom. A groan escaped him as he squeezed her, causing her to moan as well.

At once the dress was pushed further up, and she readjusted her body in his lap, allowing herself to slowly descend on his hardness. But he did not allow her any chance of adjustment this time, and with an urgent thrust upwards he buried himself completely inside her. She let out a yelp at his sudden intrusion, but the feeling of completion was so overwhelming that she had no mind to complain.

Once joined, Thranduil held her firmly in his strong arms and stood from the bed, causing her to yelp yet again in surprise.

"What are you doing?" she wondered.

He then turned with her in his arms, causing her dangling foot to kick his glass of wine. It smashed on the floor and broke into pieces. But Thranduil ignored this insignificant accident and walked a few steps until her back was pressed against the wall. "This", he replied, and brought his hands to support her bottom, while she held firmly on his shoulders.

He then began a series of thrusts that were growing in demand and intensity, and soon Tauriel was moaning and panting. Feeling heated up, he got rid of his tunic and tossed it on the floor with one swift move. Tauriel's nails immediately raked his upper back and shoulders, enjoying the feel of his naked flesh beneath her hands.

"I have wanted this since the beginning of the feast", the Elvenking told her in a voice so hoarse that nearly resembled a growl.

"I would be a liar if I said the thought had not crossed my mind as well", she managed in-between pants and moans. "But worry not, mell nin. I am staying permanently this time, and we will have plenty of chances to enjoy and love each other".

Her words made him smile, and he kissed her again, resuming his urgent thrusts. It did not take them too long to reach their climaxes, releasing all the pent-up tension and steam, shuddering and heaving in each other's arms. He was still holding her against the wall, but once the beats of his heart had calmed, he carried her over to the bed and they crawled under the warm covers.

"This was the best conclusion to a beautiful night", Tauriel whispered, relishing the feelings of bliss and content that washed over her.

He smiled and observed her postcoital glow. Her eyes were half-lidded and glimmering, her face relaxed and rid of every care and graced by a soft smile, her limbs carelessly entangled with his. This was a sight he wished to see for the rest of his immortal life.

"I love you", he told her in a low, emotional voice.

She turned her eyes to him and lifted her hand to caress his cheek. "And I you, Thranduil".

He loved to hear his name rolling off her tongue. It made him feel special, cherished and loved. It gave him back his long-lost sense of a right in a private life, for he was too fed-up with the formality of "my lord" and "my king".

He leaned close then and dropped a feathery kiss on her lips. "My Queen", he uttered, addressing her in a manner that was entirely foreign to her.

Tauriel raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "I think it is rather early for this…"

"No. For me you are my Queen whether you wear a crown or not, for you rule my heart", Thranduil responded in a deep voice, and the depths of his eyes trembled. He leaned close to kiss her then, and a single tear ran from his closed eyes.

Tauriel hugged him tenderly and sighed. "Oh, my love…" she breathed, profoundly moved.

"And this bed is meant to be occupied by a Queen", he added.

A shiver coursed through Tauriel's body, as she realized that on this very bed a once very alive and breathing Lothrin lay and made love with Thranduil. She held her breath as memories from her dreams while she was unconscious came to her mind, and she remembered that the white lady had asked of her to make him happy and ease his pain and sorrows.

Determination fueled her words as she spoke. "I will be your Queen and anything else that might make you happy, Thranduil. This second chance is not given to you for naught, or to go wasted. It is an extremely rare gift of the Valar, and they gave it to you, realizing in their wisdom and benevolence that none of the firstborn has ever suffered like you did", she said with a sudden surge of insight and enlightenment.

The Elvenking propped himself on one elbow and watched her closely as she spoke. "You will surpass Galadriel in wisdom, should you continue like this", he made a light attempt at jest, and Tauriel did respond with a chuckle.

After the moment of mirth had passed, his countenance turned more serious. "I do not intend to waste my chance, Tauriel. Come tomorrow, you will see a different King. Many things will change, and on that I am resolute".

"What do you mean?" she asked in curiosity mingled with interest.

"No longer will I be isolated. Our realm will gradually re-emerge and re-engage with the dealings of the world. You were right; we cannot remain idle bystanders as war rages around us. We will strengthen our defenses and prepare. But I will not sit on my throne and wait for the enemy to attack. Evil may never be completely eradicated from Middle Earth, but it must be confronted and halted", he spoke and his eyes burned with liquid fire, his jaw was set, his lips were drawn into a tight line and his stern brow was furrowed with purpose.

"What will you do? What plans do you have?" Tauriel eagerly asked, her eyes trained on his face.

"Do you remember that letter of invitation I had sent you?" he asked and she nodded. "I had written to you then that I intend to march against Dol Guldur, come spring. We never had a chance to discuss this, but I suppose this is as good a time as ever", he told her and held her gaze.

"You would ask my opinion?" she asked somewhat incredulously.

"Of course. It should not surprise you. In a few days I will bring the issue to the council. The Commanders of the army and the Captains of the Guard will be present. That includes you as well", he spoke the last words with tenderness and caressed her cheek. "You may voice your opinion now or think about it and speak at the council".

"I need not wait. I fully support your plan, Thranduil. I have always believed cleansing Dol Guldur of the filth that festers there is the only way to control the infestation in the forest", she spoke firmly.

He nodded. "Three of the Ringwraiths reside in the ruins of the old fortress, and they orchestrate the attacks in our lands", he said and slowly rose from the bed, walking to the fireplace. Tauriel watched him as he added more firewood and rekindled the fire, which had died down. "I know not whether we will be able to drive them away, but I opt to decimate the numbers of their forces. If they are substantially weakened, they will cease their attacks against our borders, at least for some time", he said as he set the tongs and poker aside.

Glancing at the now vivid fire, he smiled. "Now that looks better".

"Thranduil… come back here", Tauriel called to him softly.

He complied, and on his way back picked up his carelessly abandoned tunic and tossed it on the armrest of a chair. Smiling contentedly, he slid under the covers and pulled Tauriel's warm body in his arms, her back against his chest. He kissed her shoulder and then let his chin rest on it.

"No more talk of Dol Guldur tonight", he murmured in her ear and nuzzled his face in her hair.

"It will be _today_ soon", she said and laughed softly. "The feast went on well past midnight, and I am pretty sure we have spent the remaining hours of nighttime doing everything but sleeping".

"That is fine by me. I care not for sleep when I am so blissful", he said and threaded his elegant fingers through her hair. "And, we are elves. A sleepless night means nothing to our constitution. What other race can boast such resilience and endurance?" he said and smirked pridefully.

"Hm, that is true…" she whispered, and with that she turned in his arms and her lips sought his once more.

They made love well into the dawn, until exhaustion claimed them and they lay side by side, their limbs still entangled in a loose embrace. It was before long that Tauriel was sound asleep, but no sleep came yet upon Thranduil's eyes. He lay in his bed content and peaceful, with the love of his heart in his arms.

His attention was caught by the first rays of sun that entered the chamber, and fell on the abandoned pieces of broken glass that lay scattered on the floor. The pale light made them glisten like small diamonds. Inwardly, he smiled. It was not many years ago, when he felt as hard and cold and fragile as glass. But he did not feel like that anymore. He did not feel so broken inside.

A soft smile rose to his sleepy features. Tauriel's soft and steady breathing beside him lulled him and made his body yearn for rest. As he delivered himself unto sleep, Thranduil wondered if it was possible then, perhaps, for what is broken to be mended…

The End

(Continues is sequel titled "Warring Hearts")


End file.
